By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - About yesterday's events (August 19, 2024).
I want to thank The Koopa Kingdom Squirtle Squad, and all of Law Enforcement, for their rapid response on the shooting that just took place in the Nintendo Museum, Uji City, Kyoto. Most importantly, I want to extend my condolences to the family of the Koopa at the Visit who was killed, and also to my family of the other Koopalings that were badly injured. It is incredible that such an act can take place in that Country.
Quite a bit is known at this time about the suspected shooter or shooters, who are all alive. I was shot with a bullet that pierced the upper part of my right ear. I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound, shots, and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the scales. Much bleeding took place, so I realised then what was happening. GOD BLESS KOOPA KINGDOM!
Regarding the suspects, Nintendo Executive Fellow Shigeru Miyamoto can be seen and heard on video instructing himself and Nintendo employees (in Japanese),
“Yes! Don't shoot Mario or Peach! Aim and shoot at the Koopa Troopas! OK, there are a lot of them! Let's shoot ‘em! Bob-ombs are flying at us! I wonder how I did. What's my score? It seems good!”
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| Shigeru Miyamoto commanding, “Aim and shoot at the Koopa Troopas!” This was after someone already shot at Ludwig. Contrast this with Miyamoto's claim that he “resist[s] the idea that it’s O.K. to simply kill all monsters.” (For even more irony, reminder he said that as a response to “the [gaming] medium has come to be dominated by guns and shooting?”) |
KoopaTV managed to get some exclusive photographs of the moments before and after the assassination attempt:
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| The director of the Squirtle Squad has said that due to safety reasons, a Squirtle couldn't be placed at the height of the sloped roof. Shigeru Miyamoto seems to have found his way there fine though. |
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| FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! |
Deaths of Koopas are always a tragedy, whether it's one death by Shigeru Miyamoto, one death by ISIS, or almost a hundred million by Mario. Shigeru Miyamoto and/or his minions did slay another Koopa, but we're still trying to investigate his identity because he was disfigured by the shooting. Individualising him is very, very important for Koopa Kingdom. No Koopa was breaking any laws or endangering anyone. Princess Peach wasn't even kidnapped. There is no justification for Shigeru Miyamoto's firing death squad and what he did to us.
When Ludwig says to fight, he thinks YOU should, because HE is busy recovering in a medical facility, as you can see by the large bandage on his head. He and the rest of the Koopa family ask for privacy, both to heal in peace as well as to physically hide from retaliatory strikes from Shigeru Miyamoto, Nintendo, Mario, or Mario's fans.
There's a conspiracy theory that this is all staged and you made arrangements with Miyamoto so that it looks like there was an assassination attempt to boost your success at the polls. Your thoughts?
ReplyDeleteThis conspiracy theory is unhinged FAKE NEWS!
DeleteWhat would actually boost my success would be killing Miyamoto.
I knew it was him the moment I heard the news!!!
ReplyDelete(Also unfortunately I can’t sign in..Still good to see this update. Wait. Maybe not)
(Good I'm alive. ...Bad I got shot.)
DeleteIt's been 2 days since the failed attempt, and we still don't have a motive for the attack. The Public Security Intelligence Agency of Japan is actively covering this up. Perhaps it's because they are complicit in some form.
ReplyDeleteI get the feeling that while they're happy to arrest the likes of low-level scum like Yuji Naka, Shigeru Miyamoto has way more influence in Japanese society. The real question is whether Japanese authorities are willingly covering it up or they're doing it out of fear.
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