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Friday, December 17, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 55: The S.W.O.L.E. System

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - F.L.E.X. is retired, but I'm back!

Hooboy, it's KoopaTV Fitness Friday again! And I think I have some explaining to do before we get to the Ring Fit Adventure content.

I published the previous Fitness Log two weeks ago: Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 54: Damaging My Body For Content. The title of that is pretty clear: I've been... injured for several weeks, and by the end of the log, identified my issue as bursitis at my left hip area. As of writing this... that still hasn't gone away. It's lessened, but not totally gone. Still, I don't physically feel great lying around and not doing exercise. So I'm trying this week to see what happens if I play Ring Fit Adventure's World 55: Fitness Master Lv. 313. Besides, it's based off of World 32: Extra Fitness Lv. 207, a world devoted to working out your arms. How much of a pain can it be? ...Well... scrolling to the bottom of that fitness log... there's... actually a lot of distance traveled... like... substantially more than World 54's that focused on the abs. I need working hips to run. ...This may be an issue.

Ring Fit Adventure World 55 dialogue Dragaux Armando work hard for their beefiness
Why do they call it beefiness, anyway...?

Ring said some stuff about how Dragaux and Armando didn't become beefy overnight but through hard work, and it's off to the mines for me. ...Well, the No-Brakes Mine, to be exact. (Before going there, I bought out all of the Onyx-requiring outfits from the General Store Number 49 since I won't be getting more Onyx in the playthrough, probably. Managed to do so with three Onyx stones to spare. Yay.) Between the Overhead Side Bend trolley, using Overhead Press against the Red Belldog enemy, and using the Overhead Pull pulley... lots of lifting the Ring-Con above my head. Deep in the mine was a Treasure Chest with Pomegranate Tea (excellent drink that increases Arms Fit Skill power by ↑↑ and changes all Fit Skills to red-coloured).

While it wasn't that bad to go through No-Brakes Mine, it might be worse afterwards, so I bought and equipped the Sunset Runner III outfit to make jogging and knee lifts easier. Yeah, it's less optimal than an outfit that increases EXP Gain by 5%, but it's... more practical, given my physical condition. (Other practical options I have but aren't doing include not playing at difficulty level 30 of 30, turning on some of the game's assist settings, or not playing Ring Fit Adventure at all.)

Ring Fit Adventure level up 371 gains
Even without wearing EXP +5% clothing like the Galactic Jogger III, I can still level up and have my Attack stat be CURRENT YEAR.

Now I have four choices for the next level: Fight the world's miniboss... or go to the local warp zone and go through a level, a Fitness Gym, or a Game Gym. I chose the warp zone and the level: Otherside Street. The majority of the course interaction is just... jogging through relatively empty stretches of land, so the Sunset Runner really makes a big difference in making that easier. With that beaten, I grabbed the overworld Treasure Chest (containing a Watermelon Smoothie, which can revive you after death) and... end the day. Only 23% of the world completed (3/14 courses), which isn't... much, but I think my progress will go faster from now on...? I certainly know what next three things I need to do, and in what order!

On Monday I went to the chiropractor in the morning. For the follow-up appointment that I said I'd do last week two weeks ago. Well, he was booked, so I went to the Monday after that Friday. Anyway, he noted a lot of improvement from when he last saw me (and I can feel that as well), though he said I still have some tightness. (Well, I always will have some... my body doesn't really physically know how to relax.) Seems good enough to me. Since we had extra time, he also said my neck seems good right now—it's often not been that way.

I mentioned in Week 52 about post-Halloween candy discounts and my failure to get satisfying candy. I have a picture now to demonstrate part of the problem, so I guess I'll share it here since it's sort of related to fitness in the sense I'm healthier for not buying it, but...

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Thins Miniatures on sale minis inflation smallflation
Reese's Miniature Cups? Reese's THiNs? Wot?
...And don't think I haven't noticed the Kit Kat Miniatures and THiNS, too.

Regular-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cups aren't available at any price. This is a blatant manifestation of INFLATION. Companies have a few options with inflation: Raise prices, or offer lower quality and/or quantity of goods at the previous prices. For Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, The Hershey Company has chosen to lower the quantity of candy per dollar. You can have a mini-sized Reese's or a thin-sized Reese's (called THiNS...whatever that means. Is the lowercase i the same as the one in iPod?) for what you could get a Reese's for instead! But it has a whole marketing brand name to it so it doesn't seem like some mean inflation force bullying you. But that's absolutely what's going on.

Anyway, as for actual exercising on Monday, first is the Smack Back (Novice) Game Gym. Reward? Two Emeralds. Useful? No. But the Fitness Gym with the Chest Set is giving away a Topaz? Useful? Much moreso.
  1. Front Press (x30)—I've been doing a bunch of these in the story anyway as a three-range Arms Fit Skill. Take it easy and get through them... with your back straight, as you press the Ring-Con in front of you. (The name gave that away, didn't it?)
  2. Overhead Press (x30)—As I wrote above, I'm actively using Overhead Press in Fitness Master. It's only recently in this mode I've gained an appreciation for the exercise for both its simplicity and honesty. You can almost immediately feel its effects on your body, and where it should be. Just press the Ring-Con above your head! I don't have the power to just bang out thirty of these without a break, though, and the feeling on my arms lingers for a bit.
  3. Revolved Crescent Lunge Pose (x28)—What this pose is is rather complicated to put into words, but at one point in time back in the day it was the best one-range Fit Skill available, so I did it a lot. The revolved crescent refers to the motion you do with your upper body while your lower body is static in a lunge position.
  4. Warrior II Pose (x28)—Here's a tip I didn't realise until very recently, around right when I became an Unscathed Warrior II Poser for doing 2,000 reps of these. When you start and you're holding the Ring-Con on your left hand, it's supposed to be rotated in a way where the Joy-Con is facing downward and in the front. Then when you twist, the Joy-Con will be facing upward and in back. Same thing (down and front to up and back) for holding it in your right-hand. For the whole first two playthroughs of the game, I've been holding it in the wrong orientation. It doesn't actually matter in terms of gameplay, but... it should be easier to hold? Maybe?

Ring Fit Adventure Warrior II Pose Chest Set Fitness Gym way to hold Ring-Con
Ring's head in the game mirrors your actual Joy-Con on the Ring-Con.

While I normally dread most Fitness Gyms, this one was pretty easy and even... nice to do. And so that concludes warp zone part one. Back to the main world is Arms-Race Gym, featuring a miniboss battle with Armando, who claims the F.L.E.X. system is back. (See the log for world/week 32.) ...At least, he claimed that, but then he immediately retired it and introduced the new S.W.O.L.E. system!

Ring Fit Adventure Arms-Race Gym Fitness Master S.W.O.L.E. system Armando
Armando quickly discarded the F.L.E.X. system after mentioning it. Is this S.W.O.L.E. any better?

Armando might be changing the name of his systems, but his attack patterns are the same. ...And so are mine, actually. Flame Contender III for an extra Red Fit Skill boost, on top of drinking smoothies (well, just one Raspberry Smoothie) for even more power. Armando quickly switched to his super attack, a big red energy fist punch that I Front Pressed for about 38 seconds and deflected, leaving him with very little HP. All in all... I beat Armando in four turns, so... That's very fast. He dropped a Topaz and asked that I train him next. Not likely, given how this game is structured!

Ring Fit Adventure Armando SWOLE system Super Workout Overdrive Large bicEps Fitness Master
I dunno, S.W.O.L.B. ain't that bad.

I continued my Monday progress, since I had the time and the energy. I breezed through Beltline Tower, which took more effort than Armando's boss fight. Then I marched towards the infamous (due to being about the one time Ring Fit Adventure has puzzle-solving in its level design) Pushpull Shrine, which allows me to run to Dragaux's door tomorrow if I wanted. In Pushpull, I got an Onyx stone from an enemy drop (so much for not finding those ever again?) and 150 coins from a Treasure Chaser and one Defense Drink from a stationary Treasure Chest only accessible from correct puzzle-solving. But... there's enough world left for another day, because there's a warp zone part two. Later on Monday I'd go and eat quite a bit for my birthday. ...Still a terrible day.

I didn't play Ring Fit Adventure on Tuesday or Wednesday, though I did do a lot of walking around on Wednesday. Very tiring, actually. And it was less walking and more limping, since... I think that made my hip feel worse. Much worse than the relatively comfortable place it was on Monday. Despite it being Thursday, Monday feels FOREVER ago, especially the idea of playing Ring Fit Adventure.

So when I did start, I went east towards the second warp zone and its overworld Treasure Chest with five Watermelons. The Game Gym was Dreadmill (Novice), which seems especially inconvenient for my hip since it's pure running in place. The reward for an A rank or better was one Dragon Fruit. Now I have access to the zone itself, which has an overworld Rare Hoplin fight guarding a Game Gym. There's two Rare Hoplins in this fight, giving 1000 EXP each. I didn't find smoothie strategies to one-round them before they could flee to be worth the resources, and they didn't flee anyway. Behind them was the Squattery Wheel (Novice) Game Gym, offering one Topaz stone as a bonus. I got an 87 score, which might seem mediocre, but it's high enough for an A rank, and that's all that matters. Next and last Game Gym for World 55 is Bootstrap Tower (Novice), which is a good, non-painful minigame that awarded me 500 coins. Despite the connotation with... boots, you actually don't move your lower body at all. Just your upper arms. It's nice. Finally for today is the Otherside Waterway course. Right when I began I wished I brought the Sunset Runner outfit, because my body is not in a moving mood. The level did end in an Overhead Ring Pull pulley segment, and the last overworld Treasure Chest of the warp zone had one Strength Drink to get my total strength to 2040, thanks to me now being level 374. (A bit higher than CURRENT YEAR Attack power from the screenshot above.) I took an Ibuprofen before going to bed.

It's now Friday. Time to end the world. I do feel marginally better today than Thursday. After a little over a minute of dealing with Dragaux Stadium contraptions like squat-activated springs and staircases, I reached Dragaux, who suggested we should exchange compliments. He said Ring looks “wiry”. Ring said Dragaux's muscles look like delicious juicy melons. And Dragaux said lovely things about my head-fire's shade of orange. Then we began fighting. I'd like to note that all of those compliments are based on exterior looks. Clearly, no one respects anyone's personality.

Ring Fit Adventure Dragaux shoulders delicious juicy melons
Ring comparing Dragaux's shoulders to juicy melons is weird both in and out of context.

As for the fight itself, there's not much to write about. It's just Ring and myself versus Dragaux by himself, exchanging Fit Skills and punches. After three turns (with about 5/8s of his health bar left), he got bored of the routine and jumped back to throw one giant but harmless boulder at a time, which I shattered with air blasts. After three more turns (and Dragaux has... about 1/4 of his health left?) he jumped back to shoot waves of fireballs at me. Functionally, they're identical to his wooden crates, but there are, like, six to eight on the screen at once, and they each do half a heart of damage. That's not really a problem when you have twenty hearts, however, but I will admit that unlike Dragaux's other super attacks where he jumps back and requires you air blast something, my arms were tired of pressing in on the Ring-Con in rapid fashion by the end. The fact I know how much damage the fireballs do is evidence of that, since I have no idea how much his boulder or wooden crate would do to my health bar. I was thinking I'd need only two more turns to finish Dragaux off, but... he had a tiny bit of health left and I didn't get any lucky rush attacks, so in all I finished the fight in nine turns. (Damage-wise, eight and a half.) It would've been quicker if I had any smoothies.

Ring Fit Adventure Dragaux counting on one hand dialogue World 55 Fitness Master
It's important to note that when Dragaux or I say we can count something on one hand,
our hands have 20% less fingers than what a human hand has.

After completing the fight, Dragaux gave me money and a Topaz stone—and he also gave me a compliment not just on my looks, but also my accomplishments. Speaking of accomplishments, Ring Fit Adventure awarded me the Back-Press Superstar Title for doing over 3000 Back Press reps in my whole time playing the game, which is the maximum Title for Back Press. Now the only one-range Arms Fit Skill I haven't maxed out is Overhead Press, but it's getting there.

Ring Fit Adventure Exercise Log Week World 55 Fitness Master Lv. 313
I only took two days off in a row, but it felt like AGES.

Ludwig is feeling a little better now. Let's hope he stays that way for the two weeks left of 2021! He wants to publish two more Fitness Logs this year. Will you stay with KoopaTV and read them?

Ludwig did publish a log on Christmas Eve! Week 56!


  1. Armando’s muscles are kinda pointed and that just looks uncomfortable to me. Also why is dragaux giving you all those gifts? I thought he was supposed to be the villain?

    I’ve only heard of Oreo thins, didn’t know other candies had them. You think almond joys got em too, those are my favorite.

    1. Fortunately, Armando never hugs you.

      Dragaux technically isn't giving me gifts, but he's... "dropping" them. And in Extra Fitness and Fitness Master, he's reformed and not villainous, merely seeking to train with us. (If anything, Ring is the antagonist.)

      Have you ever eaten the THiNs?


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