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Friday, December 31, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 57: Why did Dragaux cross the roads?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - To find his lost chocolate protein drink.

It is time to put recess aside and get to real fitness action in this week's Ring Fit Adventure-themed KoopaTV Fitness Friday. And, hey, when this is published, I can put 2021 aside, too. ...Mostly. We'll have some Game of THAT Year 2021 nominations and awards going on, so be sure to stick around the site next week. (And every week afterwards for the foreseeable future.)

Anyway, on Sunday we're back as usual—except for those weeks I took off because I'm in hip pain, which I still have troubling remnants of—to a new world, being World 57: Fitness Master Lv. 323. That's a sizable increase from last world's 316. This world is based on World 34: Extra Fitness Lv. 217, where I made my log themed around Fire Emblem: Three Houses because three of the Four Masters appear in the world and want you to choose among them—Allegra, Armando, and Abdonis. Of course, you don't actually get to make that choice, because this game isn't structured like that. As for how World 57 actually starts, it's just Ring saying variety is the spice of life and if I feel like I'm plateauing, then I should switch up my favourite Fit Skills. Gee, thanks, Ring. Unfortunately, there are a lot of Fit Skills (exercises) that I'm actively avoiding because they would greatly strain my left hip, like Warrior III Pose and many Fit Skills that require you to lay on the floor and do things with your legs, such as Boat Pose, Knee-to-Chest, and Leg Scissors.

That's relevant because the first level is Rumbling Road, which definitely wanted me to bring those kinds of Yoga Fit Skills with its green enemy composition. And I'd love to, but I'm just not able to now with my physical ailment. Of course, in this game's combat, you can do whatever you want, really. It just might take an extra turn, or you might have to drink a smoothie, but maybe I shouldn't hoard those anyway. As for the level design, it's full of spiked logs to manoeuvre around. An enemy group at the end gave me a Citrine stone, and I thought we were so over those, though I'm happy to sell them. A Treasure Chest had one Dragon Fruit. Before reaching Town to sell my Citrine and buy things, I cleared the Dreadmill (Advanced) Game Gym for another 500 coin reward—wearing the Sunset Runner outfit to make jogging easier, because otherwise I can't run in real life. I got a perfect score (7500 points), because I exploited a trick where if you're jumping on the Dreadmill, you stay at the same X-coordinate and aren't being moved backwards. That saves effort on your legs that would otherwise need to jog in place to maintain the same position.


Ring Fit Adventure Town Man dialogue sneezing strain work core muscle toughen back
Can confirm that while I have bursitis, laughing and sneezing is physically painful.
This is particularly a problem when I think my writing is funny enough that I laugh at my own jokes.
So if you think I haven't been funny lately, I'm actually protecting myself!


Not being able to run in real life also posed a problem for the next level, Sunset Road. It might sound like based on that name that most of the level would just be running (and despite the name and that assumption, I didn't wear the Sunset Runner again). ...And while that's true, there is also the one-minute Slinkbug segment, where you need to hold a Tree Pose for 60 seconds (on difficulty level 30, which I'm on) to cause Slinkbugs to scatter. It's a good thing that had me stand on my right leg, because I'm not able to stand on just my left leg for 60 seconds. Can't put all that weight on it! Sunset Road also has an unprecedented (or very rare) THREE enemy waves, when the vast majority of levels only have two. But the third group was not anything special... just a Yellow Megaphauna and a Belldog.

Ring Fit Adventure Tree Pose Hold Slinkbugs
Notice the leg I'm on.
If we stand still like a tree, the Slinkbugs to the left side won't notice our presence and will leave.
In other words, we make like a tree and they leave.


The next level is another road, called Athlete's Road. Since I am a universe-renowned athlete, I lay claim to this road. But it doesn't seem very... road-like at the start, with the squat pendulums/swings. Then there is a real... road area, where you'll want to double-jump to a floating section of the road to get the first EXP Medal. Eventually, it goes back to several squat pendulums, leading to a very un-road-like Overhead Ring Pull pulley system that takes me up a tower and to a big squat swing to take me over a waterfall and to a ROAD... with an enemy group interrupting my stroll. I don't want monsters on MY road! After walloping them, there was a nice road run until one last squat swing to the end point.

I don't know why I went to such detail for a filler level. I suppose it's that ownership factor. But I don't want it.


Ring Fit Adventure Athlete's Road
You can see a little stretch of road...
...And then in the distance is that tower we're going to Overhead Ring Pull pulley through.


Lastly to end the day, and to put me at the same pace as when I did World 34, is the Fitness Gym Waist Set. My reward for completing these is five Watermelons.
  1. Russian Twist (x60) — Sit down and twist your arms holding the Ring-Con left and right over and over.
  2. Pendulum Bend (x30) — This is my go-to option for a three-range Abs Fit Skill anyway, so I'm quite fine with this. You're supposed to keep your hips out and this isn't painful on my hips, though doing too many of these is stressful on my back, since I'm bent over.
  3. Overhead Hip Shake (x60) — Stand up and SHAKE!
  4. Standing Twist (x60) — Rarely, I'll get a rep where I don't get a score of 100 but I might get a 98 or something instead. Regardless, of the several five-range Abs Fit Skills, this is my go-to for combat. It's extremely easy (both in terms of game recognition and physical exertion) and very fast. 60 of these is still way faster than 30 Pendulum Bends.
  5. Tree Pose (x28) — While I was happy I didn't have to stand on my left leg for 60 seconds in Sunset Road, I did have to stand on it for about 40 seconds here. (And 40 more seconds on my right leg.) But I managed.

Easiest Fitness Gym in the game! And it gave me access to one Topaz Stone via an overworld Treasure Chest. Really, I feel like I can keep going, but the next course is a miniboss fight, and maybe it's better if I'm feeling fresh for that and not starving!

Ring Fit Adventure World 57 Dragaux dark influence dialogue dirty little thief Matta Slay
You can see the dark influence around Dragaux's portrait here.
Dark influence appears and corrupts you because you are working out in a toxic manner,
not because you're mad at being a theft victim.


On Monday, after controlling my appetite, I returned to Ring Fit Adventure. In a fascinating turn of events, it seems like the Monster Dwelling's miniboss has stolen a valuable item from Dragaux, which is pissing Dragaux off and he's letting out dark influence. (Which seems to go against previously established lore on what the dark influence is.) The miniboss fight involves a Blue Gobhoplin+, a Red Gobhoplin+, a Matta Slay, a Yellow Gobhoplin+, and a Green Gobhoplin+. I wonder which one of them could steal an item from under Dragaux's nose without him noticing.

Ring Fit Adventure World 57 Monster Dwelling dialogue Dragaux mad item insanely cool
As we'll find out, what Ring and Dragaux each consider insanely cool varies.
By the way, lost items are also totally a Fire Emblem: Three Houses thing.


This is a rare JRPG fight where the boss is the support enemy and the minions are the muscle, since Gobhoplins just ram into you for attacks while the Matta Slay can heal its whole party. Still, you can 2RKO all of the Gobhoplin+s with any five-range Fit Skill (like Standing Twist!), even with normal element effectiveness. While the Gobhoplins aren't dangerous or anything, it still makes sense to wipe them out because they're annoying and prolong the enemy's turn. But to my surprise, Matta Slay can re-summon its allies after a few turns, which actually provides another opportunity to get more experience points from them. At the end of the fight, I won the Tree-Pose Redwood Title for doing at least 2,000 Tree Poses across all of my playthroughs.

Ring Fit Adventure World 57 Fitness Master Lv. 323 dialogue don't have to worry too much chocolate protein drink
Dude, Ring, you got to stop being a horrible, inconsiderate person.
Dragaux valued his chocolate protein drink. Who the hell are you to diminish that?
Dragaux didn't make fun of YOU when you lost your five powers in the Adventure Mode! You couldn't even DOUBLE JUMP originally.


While Ring claimed after the fight was over that the monsters weren't holding anything (then who dropped the Topaz stone I obtained?), Dragaux noticed that the monsters did, in fact, drink his chocolate-flavoured protein drink already. Ring is a jerk and doesn't believe that this chocolate protein drink is of any value. Regardless of their squabble, this opens up the second half of the World 57 map. We left Dragaux behind believing we didn't have to worry about anything (and Ring didn't allow me the option of buying or making a new drink for Dragaux), and headed to the Rare Hoplin fight from the first half of the map that has three of those enemies.  But if I really want a bunch of EXP in one sitting, I should go to a Battle Gym... and World 57 has two of them in the second half. I went to the first Battle Gym, a four-wave continuous battle awarding five Persimmons for A-rank completion. Quick reminder that the most efficient thing to do to clear these enemy waves is to spam Standing Twists, especially since Fitness Master doesn't have a cooldown on Fit Skills. I completed the waves within six turns, which is quite fast, and most of those were Standing Twists. The enemies also happened to drop a Topaz and an Onyx, which are great for selling.

Time for an actual course to run through... and it's yet another road: Soak Road. As the name implies, it's raining. Uh... nothing to really say about this, though. This one really is just a road you run through, and pretty quickly. Very filler. But you know what's right after that? The world's SECOND Battle Gym. Because... pacing! Woohoo. Let's do this one today, too! This one is also four waves, and the reward is two Kefir Yogurts, which keep enemies away from a course. AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I DIDN'T STANDING TWIST even once during this, or any other easy five-range Fit Skills. Mostly because they were unnecessary since the first three rounds had enemy groups of one to three enemies. Only the last group had five enemies, but I used a Bow Pull Fit Skill instead of Standing Twist to clear most of them. It's a lot more effort... for the same damage. Uh... then I accidentally quit out of the game when it auto-prompted me if I wanted to finish for today. Whoops. I wanted to do even more, but I guess I'll have to save that for next time...


The first thing I did on Tuesday was open up the overworld Treasure Chest that I could access thanks to beating the second Battle Gym. It contained a Topaz stone. I had no trouble clearing the ensuing Bank Balance (Advanced) Game Gym that gave me one Strength Drink, either. The next course I went to is another road—River Road. I'm not prepared to actually think of it as a road, due to it being primarily a river rowing (...including up a waterfall) segment in the rain. That lead me to the next course, Hasty Highway... which technically doesn't have Road in the name! But that's fitting, since Hasty Highway is a recolour of the longest (by distance, at an estimated .72 miles in length) course in this game. A lot of running. Much of it alongside conveyor belts that are going in your direction, but still. Sunset Road, for example, is only 0.42 miles. The point is that it makes sense that highways are longer than roads. After that level I can access the Gold Hoplin fight from the overworld map (with three of them), and behind those is the Crate Crasher (Advanced) Game Gym, awarding me one Defense Drink. To end this day, and as the last course of the world besides the boss, is Twilight Road. I don't have anything much to say about it. Looking forward to the boss fight later this week, though.

Ring Fit Adventure Dragaux looked pretty upset about his protein drink being stolen
Only when we came to the Dragaux Stadium doorstep,
did Ring realise that Dragaux has feelings.


I decided to end this world on Thursday. I'm terrified as the last level—Dragaux Stadium—predicts that it'll be a 27-minute long excursion. Ring remarks before we go in that now he's wondering if Dragaux will be okay from the lost protein drink. Oh, now you're worried about Dragaux's feelings? Because you weren't when you were in front of him! As for the Dragaux Stadium itself... I forgot that this is the horrible course where it's a road with 20 or so Pinwheel Doors that you need to push the Ring-Con many times to blast open with air. When I finally got through that hell of hundreds (629, to be exact) of air blasts to get through the doors, I saw Allegra, who said that Dragaux is so upset, that she (and Armando and Abdonis) had to step in to train with me instead. Oh boy. Boss battle time. Featuring dialogue so stupid I had to put it on video.



Allegra: Lower body training for... Legs that go ALL the way up!
Abdonis: Abdominal training for... Washboard abs that can clean your laundry from 50 feet away!
Armando: Upper body training for... The mighty arms of a lumberjack—who's also a gorilla!

I have to fight all three of Allegra, Armando, and Abdonis at the same time. They all have their own lengthy HP metres and their own elemental weakness... and their own turn. On Allegra's, she debuffed the power of my Arms Fit Skills with an “eager look”, which is fine. I don't want to use those anyway, not yet. My arms are too tired from pressing the Ring-Con. On his second turn, Armando debuffed the power of my Legs Fit Skills with a “suspicious look”, so I guess that leaves me with Abs Fit Skills. On the third turn, after having solo-targeted Allegra with Knee Lifts for the first two turns and then hit everyone with the Abs Fit Skill Pendulum Bend, I got Allegra to under half health so she'd activate her SUPER ATTACK, a giant energy leg kick. I had to do a Wide Squat for 36 seconds to deflect it, but doing so was surprisingly not... excruciating, like it usually is. Maybe it's all of the ibuprofen in my body numbing the difficulty of that.

After another Pendulum Bend, my Arms Fit Skills had their debuff expire, and my arms felt better physically, so I went for a Forward Press boosted by a Strawberry Smoothie to again hit all three Masters at the same time. This was just enough to KO Allegra out of the match... and enough to get Abdonis to use his SUPER ATTACK that I had to sit down and Leg Raise for about 36 seconds. I think my bursitis has improved substantially, because it wouldn't be possible for me to even do a Leg Raise if I was still in peak pain. I also got Armando to trigger his SUPER ATTACK on the same turn, which I had to hold a Back Press against for 36 seconds as well. Doing one of those and just holding the Ring-Con pressed is a lot easier than opening one Pinwheel Door.

Now Armando and Abdonis are at very low health. Feeling gutsy, I had brought and then used my Leg Scissors Fit Skill. You might remember I singled that out in the intro of this article as being another impossible Fit Skill to do with my hip bursitis. And... I managed to clear through its 60 reps without too much difficulty! Wow! I'VE MADE PROGRESS! w00t!

Somehow, that didn't KO Armando and Abdonis, so I used another Forward Press to ensure that result. And so I won, with Armando dropping a Topaz while acknowledging that I'm the strongest. And that's it. That's the world. We never heard from Dragaux again...


Ring Fit Adventure Week World 57 Fitness Master Lv. 323 exercise log
At least that last day was only 18 minutes and not 27 minutes!
Beating expectations in more ways than one!



If Ludwig is really better now, then his doctor appointment for January 3 will be inconsequential. Check back next week (in 2022!) to see if that ends up being the case! ...He still can't really run, though. So it's not like he's totally healed. Have a happy new year or something. For 2022, try to find out how there are a bunch of roads around despite there being no government or taxes.


Ludwig writes about Week 58 and his doctor's appointment in next week's log.

8 comments :

  1. Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Ironic isn’t it? Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life Variety is the Spice of Life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So... that's wot you got out of it.

      Delete
    2. Essentially. I thought that line was funny. I’m more concerned that you might be straining yourself in some ways, so I once again remind you “don’t overdo it”.

      That part about the Boss being a supporter and the minions being the brawn was interesting. I often find that whenever this occurs, the fight is long and annoying. Especially when the support includes HEALING. Fortunately this doesn’t happen all too often, so this specific annoyance is a nice change of pace.

      Delete
    3. I screenshotted the line in-game, so if you want that, I can send it.

      Delete
    4. I demand that it be used in another post unrelated to ring fit adventure. Consider that my first unofficial request/demand of 2022.

      Delete
    5. Okay. I'll unofficially consider it.

      The exact quote was actually “Variety is the spice of health!”
      Not of life.

      Delete
    6. Uh oh. Sounds like someone paraphrased. Didn’t we jsut rlak about this? An agregious error as monumental as this deserves the harshest of punishments. For now, this must constitute as a typo to be put on fill display in the next monthly newsletter.

      Variety is the spice of health?? That’s kinda stupid. They shouldn’t have changed it.

      Delete
    7. No, you literally used quotation marks in your paraphrase. I did no such thing. >:(

      Besides, there's no life without health.

      Delete

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