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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Mario Celebrates MAR10 With Over 10 Simultaneous Mario Forms

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How are there so many Mario at one time? Let me tell you...

For two decades (think Mario Golf and Mario Tennis on the Nintendo 64), fans of the Mario franchise have been asking: How can Mario and Baby Mario be in the same game? Doesn't that mess things up? There's only one Mario. They're the same person but at different times.

Nowadays, no one thinks in such small, two-person terms anymore. You go around the Mushroom Kingdom and surrounding territories, and there are many Mario. Everywhere. Co-existing. That is a huge problem for the Mario-averse Koopa Kingdom.

Here are the Mario forms just between the two recent mobile titles Mario Kart Tour and Dr. Mario World, as of today, March 10 (or MAR10 Day, as proclaimed by Nintendo):
  1. Mario
  2. Baby Mario
  3. Dr. Mario
  4. Dr. Baby Mario
  5. Dr. Fire Mario
  6. Metal Mario
  7. Gold Mario
  8. Ice Mario
  9. Mario (Musician)
  10. Mario (Hakama) 
  11. Mario (Santa)
  12. Mario (Happi) 
  13. Mario (Classic) 

(If you remove all of the doctors, you get exactly 10 Mario forms for just Mario Kart Tour.)

Mario Kart Tour classic Luigi Bros. clones
I didn't edit this image or anything. This is official from Mario Kart Tour's “Mario Bros. Tour” trailer.
They are co-existing.

This does not take into account abominations like Cat Mario, as well as the most popular form of Mario, Paper Mario. Also, strangely enough, Fire Mario is a doctor but not a kart racer. Not yet, anyway. But he exists too.

There are a variety of items that can clone people. Copy Flowers. Double Cherries. Magic can do it too. But with Mario, his alternate forms don't poof over time or after getting hurt. They're “treating” patients. Going through races.

Koopalings Wendy O. Ludwig Von Koopa magic wand staff cloning magic duplicate Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga New Super Bros. U
Top: Wendy O. Koopa (a KoopaTV staffer) using her magic wand to duplicate herself five times.
Bottom: Ludwig Von Koopa (a KoopaTV staffer and your article author,
and for some reason referring to himself in the third person in this caption) using his wand to duplicate himself twice.

And murdering Koopas.

One Mario is more than bad enough, not even considering the horrors when you add Luigi into it. But ten or more Mario?

Double Cherry Copy Flower Mario Luigi clones Baby Partners in Time Super 3D Land
Left: Double Cherries.
Right: Copy Flower.
(If you're wondering how Baby Mario and Baby Luigi are involved,
reminder from last year's MAR10 article that Mario stole a time machine.)

That's basically an epidemic. Worse than the viruses going around Earth now. Of course, they're visiting Earth in Mario Kart Tour, aren't they? And in many other instances. And notice it's not just the plumber being cloned. Everything they're wearing is, too. And if they got Cappy on their head, or any other Bonneter, then they'll be going around capturing stuff. Or you. In massive numbers.

It's clear to me that there is a critical mass of Mario, and these things are going to be mass-produced or something, and then the universe is beyond repair. That's why you need to oppose multi-Mario manifestations. It's possible if we slay the original Mario, the rest will disappear. If not, then we have quite the project on our claws.



The next thing that Koopa Kingdom may wish to investigate is if one can have many durable, duplicate clones of key Koopas beyond conjuring a limited-duration magical apparition. That may be the only way to deal with this plumber infestation, though that also raises a planetary sustainability crisis. Can the world sustain and support all of these Mario forms? Is that why they keep coming to Earth? ...Doesn't Earth have its own sustainability issue? Do you have any thoughts or solutions? On another note, Ludwig doesn't know the basic reasoning behind so many Mario forms being gacha incentives. Who wants to gamble real money to obtain yet another Mario?

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