VIDEO of Nintendo Cloning Human Earth Girls?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Not a special effect.

By the time you're reading this, you can purchase Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury on the Nintendo Switch. If you wanted to, you could've purchased Super Mario 3D World on the Wii U for many years now, and at 1/3 of the price of the Switch version. I don't think much of Bowser's Fury, other than that Bowser Jr. is an idiot.

Still, the rest of Nintendo's fiscal year is dependent on Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury being a big financial success, and so Nintendo is making a lot of advertisements for the game. Among them is this ad, which I'll let you watch, and then we really, REALLY need to talk about it here. ...And you can't talk about it on YouTube, because Nintendo shut down the comments section by marking it as for kids.

Did you notice what I noticed? Whenever anyone grew cat ears and a tail, or a kid with those showed up on the screen, Nintendo inserted a “Special effects added” disclaimer at the bottom.

Furries are already a real group of humans that exist, but Nintendo couldn't find any, I guess.

Alright, so that disclaimer establishes Nintendo is doing some post-production magic in this ad, right? And the fact they're willing to admit it whenever it occurs means that we can be sure that Nintendo will tell us that special effects are added whenever special effects are added.

With that consistency established, how do you explain this?

WHERE'S THE DISCLAIMER?

So there was a special effects disclaimer whenever special effects were added, but no disclaimer when the girl duplicated—cloned—and became two girls, apparently with the help of the Double Cherry power-up, judging by the sound effect.

The obvious conclusion is that the cloning is not a special effect, and it's just something ordinary humans can do now.

This was previously confined to the likes of Mario, who has many co-existing forms wreaking havoc, including on Earth. Now the Earthlings themselves are cloning...and I'm not sure what the end-consequence of this is. But I do know that this is highly novel technology that's previously been unavailable to normal humans.

Nintendo can apparently harness this technology, and distribute it to other humans, even kids. It's unclear what it'd take for the clone to disappear. Might just require murder. Is that considered ethical?

Earth, are you prepared for massive population growth—overnight? Millions of people are going to buy Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury. Some of them might end up cloning. ...Which is at least good if they want to do local multiplayer, like in the ad. (But Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury also features online multiplayer...could you be cloned REMOTELY over the Internet?!)


If you want to afford your own human cloning abilities, and assuming you get these for buying Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury for Nintendo Switch but not by buying Super Mario 3D World on the Wii U (or Earth would already be seeing clones for years), KoopaTV can help finance this risky and dangerous activity with the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Click that to learn more about it. Ludwig Von Koopa personally requires special effects to clone himself, and it's less durable than what the Double Cherry can do. KoopaTV didn't classify this as an Enlightenment Movement article because it's really unclear if all of this is a bad thing.


Nintendo's later show that structural racism has been solved.