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Tuesday, March 3, 2020

FAKE NEWS CNN: Coronavirus News Network

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're shameless bastards, so the CNN Meme War continues.

Last week, KoopaTV published our first article about coronavirus and how it's affecting conventions and trade shows in the videogame industry, along with supply chains. It's a necessary topic, and one that immediately got more attention than our other articles that week. It's safe to say that the whole Earth is on edge due to coronavirus, and it's an incredibly scary and uncertain pandemic that everyone is trying to get information on.

The media knows this. Coronavirus and the US election are both bringing in large amounts of views, and if you combine the two, that's even better. But at the very least, advertisement-driven (views-based) outlets have great incentive to try to incorporate coronavirus in as many stories and angles as possible.

Enter FAKE NEWS CNN, the corrupt and sleazy “news” outlet, best known for blackmailing .gif makers. In 2018, we exposed them (and likened them to a certain Pok√©mon) for omitting key information on a story for the purposes of promoting a Democrat Party, anti-President Donald John Trump narrative.

It turns out that when it comes to coronavirus, CNN is still up to their omitting key facts narrative. They have a great interest in portraying the United States leadership as incompetent in containing coronavirus based on their own media-driven narrative as opposed to actual results, but they also have a great interest in making the American population at large out to be idiots. After all, they have a grudge against the population for having the gall to elect a bumbling bad orange man to be president to begin with.

CNN reported, and this went “viral” (pun intended) on social media, that “the spread of the coronavirus couldn't have come at a worse time for Corona beer”, claiming:
“Two surveys released this week show that the Corona's brand is suffering from negative buzz.
5W Public Relations said that 38% of Americans wouldn't buy Corona "under any circumstances" because of the outbreak, and another 14% said they wouldn't order a Corona in public. The survey encompasses polling from 737 beer drinkers in the United States.” 
If you actually look at the press release from 5W Public Relations about that survey, you'll see them describe it as:
“38% of beer-drinking Americans would not buy Corona under any circumstances now[.] Among those who said they usually drink Corona, only 4% said they would stop drinking Corona, but 14% said they wouldn't order Corona in a public venue.”
Do you notice the distinction there? CNN added “because of the outbreak” to the 38% stat, but that 38% stat is of beer-drinking Americans who don't like Corona-brand beer. The key stat is that 4% who actually do like Corona beer but will now stop drinking it.

But 4% isn't a sensationalist, social-media trending stat like 38% is.

To put it in perspective, let's pretend that I am an American beer drinker. I'm not, but let's say that I am. Corona beer is not a gluten-free beer (and anyone telling you it's safe for Celiac Disease sufferers is also spreading fake news), and if I were to be drinking beer, whatever I'd be drinking would have to be gluten-free. That would place me into the 38% of American beer drinkers that would not buy Corona under any circumstances now, or ever, and coronavirus has nothing to do with it. Yet CNN is going around misrepresenting this survey (and I have my doubts about the survey itself being conducted in a scientific manner, since 5W Public Relations hasn't published their methodology or even the wording of the questions).

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations Turnabout Memories CNN achoo sneeze coronavirus
FAKE NEWS CNN engaging in scare-mongering FAKE SNEEZES.

A fake sneeze is when you sneeze to make it look like you're sick. It happens often in public areas, such as the bottom-tier transportation method of trains. Don't want someone to sit next to you? Sneeze and they'll move away, falsely believing that you're sick and the health of the area is worse than it actually is. In this case, CNN (and other media outlets) is making coronavirus out to be worse than it actually is, by going at it from all sorts of angles from administrative preparation to even portraying Americans as so deluded and so single-minded that they're not even buying beer anymore.

Don't fall for that.

Coronavirus, of course, is a serious problem, but it's also being managed quite well (in the United States, at least) so far. Reminder to keep your claws and hands washed with soap (or hand sanitiser if water and soap are unavailable) and don't open door handles with the same parts of the body that you use to touch your face or eat food with. Don't watch or read CNN, either. You should limit the spread of fake news like you'd limit the spread of a virus. KoopaTV apologises for skipping out on the CNN Meme War during 2019.

KoopaTV earlier portrayed Ace Attorney journalist Spark Brushel as a CNN employee.


  1. I wish I am able to differentiate between real and fake news with regards to coronavirus, pregnant women and risk to unborn children.


      According to the CDC, the risk to unborn children is... unknown.

      I'd recommend taking the normal set of anti-viral measures that you'd do for yourself.


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