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Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Welcome Heavy Lobster to KoopaTV's Staff!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeah, we went and hired a robot.

We have been trying to get a new content writer on KoopaTV for a long time now. I am pleased to announce that we have hired Heavy Lobster! His posts will be marked by this avatar:

It's adorable. Now, KoopaTV has a known affinity for crabs, and lobsters are not crabs, but Heavy Lobster transcends that biological preference. ...It's also a robot, so maybe there's not much biology going on.

You may know Heavy Lobster as one of the mechanical guardians of the Halberd, the battleship controlled and operated by Meta Knight that also was designed to look like Meta Knight. I'm very good friends with the pilot of the Halberd, Captain Vul. I am literally Captain Vul's biggest fan. I'm one of about three people to have requested Captain Vul be in Kirby Star Allies as a Dream Friend. I've always considered Heavy Lobster to be cool, too.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Heavy Lobster spirit Ludwig Von Koopa Tauros
The terms in which we managed to get Heavy Lobster from the Halberd crew are confidential.

Right now, one of Heavy Lobster's biggest duties between the transition from Halberd employee to KoopaTV employee is to complete the disinfecting of the Halberd of coronavirus and anything else, for the benefit of the Halberd's folks. You don't look at Heavy Lobster and think it's a cleaning robot, but Meta Knight is a germophobe. Why do you think he has a mask?

Heavy Lobster is also a talented painter, and might be able to revive my fledgling Ludwig Painting business

Can a combat/cleaning/painting robot succeed on KoopaTV, a commentary site dedicated to truth & levity? We'll find out, but we also have experience with robots on the staff in the past. They don't complain... until they go missing and are never seen again. That happened nearly two years ago to the day, and we'll take much better care of Heavy Lobster!


Heavy Lobster will publish its first article tomorrow. Get hyped for it. Ludwig didn't ask about its pronouns. Regardless, please give Heavy Lobster a friendly welcome in the comments section! KoopaTV's About and Contact pages have been updated.


Here is Heavy Lobster's first article. Interesting topic, too.

2 comments :

  1. So um, from a Doylist perspective, is this just Vortexica leaving the site for 2 years and now coming back? ;) From Watsonian, I welcome Heavy Lobster and wish them luck, and from both, I do agree that Heavy Lobster is cool and should have recurred more as a boss in the Kirby series.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, they're different people that just happen to both be robots.

      #NotAllRobots

      Delete

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