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Friday, September 18, 2020

Super Mario 3D All-Stars has Launched...and...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...and I don't care, though Kamek does, at least.

You would think, from KoopaTV's live reactions to the Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary Direct, that no one on the staff would bite on Super Mario 3D All-Stars. I mean, despite playing all of them (and probably BECAUSE I've played all of them), I have no nostalgia for Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, and/or Super Mario Galaxy. In fact, I notoriously dislike 3D platformers.

Seriously, it's a rookie mistake to think a site that's operated by Koopa Kingdom and has Koopas all over it would be fans of the plumbers’ games. Anyway, here's the launch trailer, though it's nothing special:



However, despite Kamek claiming just two weeks ago that $60 for Super Mario 3D All-Stars is “a little exploitative, especially during a pandemic. AND it's a limited release [until March 31, 2021]? [...] My emotions... yeah the price ruins it.” He went and bought it anyway today, physically, as well as a “Super Mario 3D All-Stars: Skin Set” for his Joy-Cons/grip. ...Yeah, tell me more about being exploited... Maybe he REALLY wants that My Nintendo Super Mario Bros. collectible pin set, too, which requires you to buy Super Mario 3D All-Stars. (It also suggests that you ought to participate in that mobile game Mario Kart Tour, which is on a whole other level of exploitation. And unlike the entirety of Super Mario 3D All-Stars, I'm unfortunately in Mario Kart Tour as a gacha pawn.)

Actually, as I was writing this, Kamek insists the skin came free with his purchase, which is bizarre and doesn't make sense to me because the manufacturer likes to sell these things for $20. Now I don't know what's going on.


Super Mario 3D All-Stars Skin Set Nintendo Switch Joy-Cons Grip
Why would Kamek want this on his controller? ...Wait, Joy-Cons and Grip?
...Why isn't he putting this money into a Pro Controller?

Now, if you want to be a scalper and buy the physical version of Super Mario 3D All-Stars for the purposes of reselling it after March 31, 2021 (when it will no longer be sold physically or digitally), that's a viable investment. Just make sure you don't actually open the box to retain maximum value. (You will need to open the box in order to claim the My Nintendo mission, however, if you REALLY want those pins.)

But if you just want games to play, you could do better, even among 3D platformers.

There is talk that this compilation was “lazily” put together, and in haste. (For example, Super Mario Sunshine's FLUDD instructions “censors” the voice-acting because the buttons are different. The following video demonstrates this, though the game was patched after it was recorded to provide button icons in FLUDD's dialogue. The voice-acting is the same.)


That could be true, and if that's a turn-off to you, that's fine. For the most part, it's exactly the same three games you may or may not be used to. Straight-up emulation. ...Though the controls are obviously adjusted.

Since they were willing to redo the control schemes, they should've had Super Mario 64 X 4 from the DS—which had much more content—instead of Super Mario 64. Big, missed opportunity.



Ludwig hates Super Mario Sunshine for a variety of reasons, including his dislike of FLUDD, the scenery, as well as Bowser Jr.'s existence. He also dislikes Super Mario Galaxy for its trash minigame, which apparently makes Super Mario 64 his favourite of the three? Not coincidentally, that's the only one without Bowser Jr.


Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon & the Blade of Light is coming out December 4...and also disappearing March 31, 2021.

17 comments :

  1. Factual correction: The collectible pin set requires 5 out of 6 missions to be completed, one of which must be buying Super Mario 3D All Stars. Only one of the six missions relates to Mario Kart Tour, which means that it is perfectly possible to qualify for the pin set without playing the mobile game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...
      ...
      Mmm, you're right. That's actually a substantive correction.

      Delete
    2. I look forward to the September Review, then. This is the first time, I think, I've EVER made a correction here!

      Delete
    3. ...I have better things to do than fact-check that statement. >.>

      Delete
  2. I love 3D platformers, and I like all three of these games, but I haven't bought the collection and I probably won't. It doesn't feel like I'd be getting anything other than the convenience of playing them on my Switch instead of hooking up an older system.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You get... a soundtrack!

      ...Which, from what I can tell, is even less functional than the one in Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection and unlike that one, has nothing new in it. (Music ain't as good either.)

      Delete
  3. Kamek is telling me that "sunshine controls are garbage. The button layout is horrendous."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're right. You press the RIGHT CONTROL STICK to go to "Mario cam" where you can freely aim FLUDD with the left stick. And jump is mapped to BOTH A and B but selecting in menus is only A and canceling is only B.

      Delete
    2. What's conceptually bad about the first one, assuming it's standard dual-stick controls?

      The A/B thing is a disaster though.

      Delete
    3. Personally, it's just jarring to me to have to press a control stick at all. And usually when I've encountered games that use that, they're for functions that aren't nearly as commonly used as Mario Cam.

      Delete
    4. Wot does the right-stick do normally?

      Delete
    5. And wot does the right-stick do after clicking it to go into "Mario cam" mode?

      ...Can you move the camera and FLUDD independently?
      (Why would you ever want to?)

      Delete
    6. S-So.... they could've allowed for left-stick to move while right-stick controls the camera/aim after going into "Mario cam"?

      Delete
    7. Probably not, since that wasn't a thing in the original game.

      Delete
    8. Ah, right, forgot Nintendo didn't want to improve the games’ functionalities in any way for this release.

      Delete

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