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Friday, November 7, 2014

The Miyamoto Cinema

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - With any luck, filmography will be Miyamoto's full-time passion.

Remember on Wednesday during that Nintendo Direct, when Shigeru Miyamoto showed up and we all thought he would ruin the Direct by talking about bad, boring things like Project Giant Robot? Well, as you should remember, he did not do that. He talked about Pikmin 3 and some movies he was making with them instead. ...And Flipnote Studio too.

You can see the trailer up above (which is different than what was presented during the Direct), and you should also have gotten information on it delivered to you on your 3DS and Wii U. (If you got 'em. ...And you ought to.)

So what are they? Three films totaling, in Miyamoto's words, about 20 minutes in length combined. You can purchase all three for $5. You can see from that trailer that the Pikmin look pretty good, and I like the humour with Captain Olimar and the Pik Pik carrots. Miyamoto might have found his calling after ruining some of our favourite franchises.

One issue though: $5 for 20 minutes worth of content? People whined about how The Letter from TreeFall Studios could be finished in 20 minutes and that only cost $2. (Or 50 cents if you got it on sale like I did!) Movies are never good from a value perspective. This includes "Unfair: Exposing the IRS" that KoopaTV told you to watch a month ago. That's generally why I don't watch movies in theatres. In fact, before "Unfair: Exposing the IRS", the last movie I watched in a theatre was "2016: Obama's America". (Which we might fact-check in a similar fashion to Rick Santorum's "Obamaville" once 2016 happens and if KoopaTV isn't annihilated by then.) Between those two, all the movies I've seen were TV re-runs or from the library. (I got a good library.) While videogames should last you a while and be worth your money, movies do not have this capability. Especially not short films!

Whatever, Miyamoto has to be compensated for his work somehow. And... it's in our best interest to pay the $5. If Miyamoto gets more money from this than shit like Project Giant Robot and Project Guard, he might quit making videogames and work on movies the whole time. He could be Nintendo's Pat O'Brien, and form the Nintendo equivalent of EA Entertainment! Full-time in-house film maker! 'cause as of now, Nintendo outsources its cinematic (not in-engine) cutscene work for most of its games, like Super Smash Bros. For Wii U (Digital Frontier Inc., Digital Media Lab Inc., Anima Inc.). And Miyamoto could make normal movies you think of when you think of movies.

Pikwin from Nintendo
You gotta pick a winner, and you have, since you're reading KoopaTV!
...Also a winner: Miyamoto out of game design.

Say, if Miyamoto is going to mirror EA Entertainment, then they need their own "Madden Curse" movie scandal. I think I got just the thing: Did you know there was supposed to be a Metroid movie? What ever happened with THAT? (Well, I guess we DO know that.) Still, can you imagine how much fun KoopaTV would have with Miyamoto movie scandals? Who in Nintendo is going to be killed off like Elizabeth Brett? What if that already happened? After all, how else do you think they got rid of Cammie Dunaway?

Make this happen, guys. The Pikmin shorts are not worth $5, but drop $5 now and just don't buy Miyamoto's projects in the future. You'll save money AND ultimately lead Nintendo on the right path with what to do with Miyamoto, since he'll be more useful movie-making! Use your dollar as your vote!

Ludwig really does not like Shigeru Miyamoto for a whole host of reasons. Read around KoopaTV and you might find some! Click that "ruining our favourite franchises" link for a really strong one!

Here is another strong reason.
This article gives a list of anti-Miyamoto KoopaTV articles as of March 2016.
The Miyamoto cinema continues with Star Fox Zero!
This is actually happening: Nintendo is actually going to have a full-time movie production business.
The actual animators of the Pikmin Shorts, Dynamo Pictures, has been acquired by Nintendo in 2022.

1 comment :


    I'm right.


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