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Monday, June 12, 2017

KoopaTV's Sony E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's all about the games, not that we could hear them (hear them).

Time for Sony's turn in E3 Weeks 2017, capping out Monday.

I'm Ludwig, Rawk is Rawk, Vortexica is breezinabout. Let's get this Sony show on the road. Not much to say, but I guess the question is this: Will we want to buy a PlayStation 4 PRO? 

(No.)

(8:52:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Back.

(8:53:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Sup.

(8:53:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) https://player.twitch.tv/?volume=1&!muted&channel=twitch

(8:53:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Are Wendy and Kamek ever gonna appear?

(8:54:28 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I gots me some rum.

Rum E3 2017 drinking game
For some reason, my name is perpetually redacted. It's Nintendork 13 13, if you want to add me on AIM.


(8:54:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I have milk and the bottom of the bag of tortilla chips.

(8:55:16 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Are you a fan of crumbs?

(8:55:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: maybe

(8:55:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I probably shouldn't be near a keyboard.

(8:56:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) All you gotta do is turn the keyboard upsidedown and give it a few smacks if things go awry.

(8:56:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I do that every few weeks.

(8:56:57 PM) (rawkhawk2010) One time there was pineapple in there.

(8:57:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

(8:57:06 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yeah

(8:57:08 PM) (rawkhawk2010) under Caps Lock

(8:57:35 PM) (rawkhawk2010) What's with the Pokeballs on people's shirts?

(8:57:41 PM) (rawkhawk2010) In this pre-show?

(8:58:18 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Because some girl had a Pokeball on her shirt too earlier.

(8:58:19 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol, these pre-show hosts just slammed No Man's Sky.

(8:58:28 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Aye Vortex.

(8:58:58 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yo.

(8:58:59 PM) (rawkhawk2010) One minute before conference.

(8:59:04 PM) (rawkhawk2010) What do you guys wanna see?

(8:59:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Oh

(8:59:56 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Dead Stranding will probably be here.

(9:00:07 PM) (rawkhawk2010) And will be just as confusing.

(9:00:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Maybe Milo will come back.

(9:00:35 PM) (rawkhawk2010) The game, not the provocateur

(9:00:42 PM) (rawkhawk2010) ...wait that was Lionhead/Microsoft.

(9:00:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) nvm

(9:00:50 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) If Kojima was there in person, to tell us what Dead Stranding actually is, that'd be something.

(9:01:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: yo

(9:01:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Here we go.

(9:01:16 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Ew, television.

(9:01:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That was the Tomodachi Life stage.

(9:01:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) In Smash 3DS

(9:01:41 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Gold PS4

(9:01:46 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Oooh.

(9:01:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Uh

(9:01:50 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: did this start yet

(9:01:50 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Shiny.

(9:01:56 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yes.

(9:01:56 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Yes

(9:02:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I wouldn't want gold systems.

(9:02:24 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Just gonna piss you off more when they get scratched.

(9:02:40 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) They have an orchestra, again.

(9:02:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Egyptian orchestra?

(9:02:47 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Well, an oriental one.

(9:02:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Definitely for a desert.

(9:03:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed Origins for the 3rd time?

(9:03:11 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(9:03:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Watch it be.

(9:03:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) THIRTY MORE MINUTES

(9:03:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

(9:03:23 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) No.

(9:03:25 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) PLEASE NO

(9:03:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: WE CAN'T ESCAPE THE THIRTY MINUTES

(9:03:31 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Waterfall.

(9:03:47 PM) (rawkhawk2010) If Skyrim Link gets the Zora armor he can swim up it!

(9:04:04 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I hope this is the whole conference.

(9:04:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) AHHHH

(9:04:12 PM) (rawkhawk2010) IT'S PISS

Sony E3 2017 waterfall Egyptian drums music yellow urine pee piss
Come on. This isn't urine. I don't know WHAT it's supposed to be, though.


(9:04:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this the London tribute?

(9:04:18 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) LOL

(9:04:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: oh shit there's symbols

(9:04:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Down the waterfall.

(9:04:41 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That went better than Trump's inauguration.

(9:04:47 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I feel like I recognised some of those.

(9:04:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) In terms of symbols lining up.

(9:04:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I think I saw Quake.

(9:04:53 PM) (rawkhawk2010) People are cheering

(9:04:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) but I dunno what thisis.

(9:05:02 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Tomb Raider?

(9:05:02 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Wait

(9:05:07 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is this that Square Enix game?

(9:05:08 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: yo don't just put random isis references

(9:05:10 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Life is Strange?

(9:05:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Tomb Raider IS a Square Enix game.

(9:05:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: But this is from Naughty Dog.

(9:05:24 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Uncharted?

(9:05:30 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Nathana Drake?

(9:05:34 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(9:05:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I can't actually make out their voices.

(9:05:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Natalia Drake

Natalia Drake genderbent genderbend Nathan Drake Uncharted The Lost Legacy
Apparently, her name is Chloe Frazer, but Natalia Drake sounds better.


(9:05:43 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Me neither.

(9:05:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: They're way too echoy.

(9:05:46 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I think the sound is messed up.

(9:05:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Typical.

(9:05:53 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think the main audio is still hooked up to the instruments.

(9:06:09 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this still more smooth than the inauguration?

(9:06:15 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I feel like I'm at a shitty theater.

(9:06:17 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Please, someone realise we can't heard anything!

(9:06:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Not anymore!

(9:06:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Remember two or three years ago they just repeated the same trailer again?

(9:06:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) So what is this, Uncharted 7?

(9:06:47 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Fixed?

(9:06:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: UNCHARTED: THE LOST LEGACY

(9:06:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: holy shit it really is Natalia Drake

(9:07:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (at least I didn't say "literally")

(9:07:07 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) It's snowing.

(9:07:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Mist rains down.

(9:07:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: MS. MALE CHARACTER

(9:07:12 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Or snow.

(9:07:17 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or anthrax.

(9:07:19 PM) (rawkhawk2010) GameCube symbol.

(9:07:26 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Well, close.

(9:07:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't think that's a GameCube symbol.

(9:07:35 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Still echoy.

(9:07:39 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: But this might be in-character.

(9:07:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Audience apparently knows what this is too.

(9:07:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: LOL

(9:07:57 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Campy running

(9:08:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: People are cheering

(9:08:06 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Horizon: Zero Dawn.

(9:08:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: but I don't know what they're saying.

(9:08:12 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Sequel?

(9:08:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or talking about.

(9:08:15 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Expansion?

(9:08:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Horizon Zero Dawn The Frozen Wilds

(9:08:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: OW THE SOUND

(9:08:37 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That's a long name.

(9:08:38 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Fix this already, Sony!

(9:08:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Static

(9:08:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) bend studio?

(9:08:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Bend Studio

(9:08:57 PM) (rawkhawk2010) American flag.

(9:08:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this stil echoy?

(9:09:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or intentional?

(9:09:01 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:09:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) no

(9:09:11 PM) (rawkhawk2010) No one fixed it.

(9:09:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe all of their characters are coincidentally under a filter.

(9:09:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) someone tried to duing the applause

(9:09:18 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Like the Black Knight in Path of Radiance.

(9:09:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) but it didn't dix it

(9:09:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) fix*

(9:09:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: OW

(9:09:36 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Didn't Sony, or somebody, have some kind of sound problem last year?

(9:09:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: WELL THEY DID SOMETHING TO THE SOUND

(9:09:40 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) And yeah, OWW.

(9:09:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well the guy said something non-echoy but I still don't know what it was.

(9:10:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause he was mumbling.

(9:10:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lololololol

(9:10:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And now he just fell off his cycle and is dying.

(9:10:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Hoodie

(9:10:18 PM) (rawkhawk2010) the slow-motion wailing

(9:10:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

(9:11:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this guy dimensional screaming?

(9:11:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) the voices are ridiculously loud compared to the effects.

(9:11:21 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I feel like we've seen this game before.

(9:11:25 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Is this a zombie game?

(9:11:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well there's something AHHH

(9:11:35 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yup

(9:11:39 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: THEY HAVE ACTUAL ZOMBIES ON THE STAGE

(9:11:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) what the fuck

(9:11:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: did you screencap it

(9:11:51 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yeah, I think we saw this last year.

(9:11:52 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:11:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) i did

(9:12:06 PM) (rawkhawk2010) i don't remember seeing this

(9:12:26 PM) (rawkhawk2010) then again

(9:12:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: So is this Metal Gear Solid without Kojima?

(9:12:33 PM) (rawkhawk2010) i have no memory of anything from last E3

(9:12:43 PM) (rawkhawk2010) except for a few things

(9:13:00 PM) (rawkhawk2010) AHHHHHH MY LEG

(9:13:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) GET IT OOOOOOOOOOF

(9:13:26 PM) (rawkhawk2010) My dog just ran into the room right as that happened and I flinched.

(9:13:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: did it just skip

(9:13:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:14:00 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Days Gone. That was the game I was thinking of.

(9:14:10 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yeah i have zero memory of this

(9:14:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Was that the game with the zombies

(9:14:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: and

(9:14:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: uh

(9:14:17 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Bikes?

(9:14:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...yeah.

(9:14:20 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yes.

(9:14:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't remember anything about it.

(9:14:26 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I bet anything this is that.

(9:14:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I just remember a yellow-y environment

(9:14:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: the guy was climbing up shit

(9:14:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) i remember a game where you ran from zombies across roofs and bridges

(9:14:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: like he's doing now

(9:14:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah roofs

(9:14:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) but that's it

(9:14:49 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) They showed it at the end of last year's conference. We were not impressed.

(9:14:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeaaah that!

(9:15:17 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This lip-syncing is a disaster.

(9:15:24 PM) (rawkhawk2010) BEARS

(9:15:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: BEAR

Days Gone PlayStation Zombie Bear Bend Studio
RAWR!


(9:15:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) FOR THE FIFTH TIME

(9:15:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Remember how E3 2016's meme was bugs?

(9:15:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This time it's bears.

(9:15:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: DAYS GONE

(9:15:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yeah

(9:15:41 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) ZOMBIE bear!

(9:15:48 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

(9:15:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I thought I saw a MAGA hat in the audience

(9:15:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) but it wasn't

(9:16:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: You can bet I'm gonna have a racist caption for that black guy bowing.

Sony E3 2017 bowing black boy man tool
...If you bet that, gimme your money.
(Make it payable to our Sierra Leone headquarters.)


(9:16:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) if it was they'd likely be escorted out

(9:16:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Shawn Layden

(9:16:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) it's all about the games

(9:16:39 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Let's just agree that we love games and we want to see more of them tonight."

(9:16:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) doesn't someone say that every year?

(9:16:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: yes

(9:16:50 PM) (rawkhawk2010) all about the games?

(9:16:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yes.

(9:16:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(9:16:59 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Oh

(9:17:04 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Our consoles are more powerful than ever, with 4k and HDR options."

(9:17:15 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I almost forgot that E3s actually weren't always about the games.

(9:17:19 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Back in like, 2011 and 2012

(9:17:26 PM) (rawkhawk2010) When systems were all-purpose media devices.

(9:17:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, they gave financial results.

(9:17:34 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And they talked about movie playback.

(9:17:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Actually Sony did that last year, didn't they?

(9:17:45 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Can't remember.

(9:17:50 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Now it's all about getting HYPE.

(9:17:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: With like, tv show streaming.

(9:18:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This dude is still here?

(9:18:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: He was supposed to leave and show us more games after his applause line.

(9:18:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Without further ado, let's get back to the games."

(9:18:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "..................before I step off..."

(9:19:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Should I take a shot every time someone says "games"?

(9:19:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy is making weird hand motions.

(9:19:07 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) "Let's just agree", "Let's all recognise", is he setting us all up for disappointment?

(9:19:30 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminder that Sony are the industry villains right now.

(9:19:31 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Was that Cloud

(9:19:42 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Jungle.

(9:19:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: He said cult classic.

(9:19:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Final Fantasy isn't a cult classic.

(9:19:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a mainstream one.
fi
(9:19:56 PM) (rawkhawk2010) The sword made me think that was Cloud.

(9:19:58 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Monster Hunter?

(9:19:59 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Guess it's....

(9:20:01 PM) (rawkhawk2010) ...yeah.

(9:20:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) It's that.

(9:20:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Monster Hunter isn't a cult!

(9:20:16 PM) (rawkhawk2010) The swords are too big for it to be anything else.

(9:20:17 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Cults are SMALL!

(9:20:29 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Monster Hunter is small in the West, isn't it?

(9:20:31 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Monster Hunter sells CONSOLES.

(9:20:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: buffing

(9:20:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That's what Capcom says.

(9:20:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: *refresh*

(9:21:16 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I don't know, man. This looks like Monster Hunter to me.

Monster Hunter World machine gun E3 2017
Okay, my case against it not being Monster Hunter is being pelted with so many holes now.


(9:21:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(9:21:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well if it's not Monster Hunter it's a clone. <_<

(9:21:45 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Maybe it's Creature Catcher

(9:22:03 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: CAPCOM PRESENTS

(9:22:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Monster Hunter World

(9:22:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Trump: "WRONG!"

(9:22:35 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: THAT GUY WAS FAKENEWSING

(9:22:36 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf fire

(9:22:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I hate when "World" is a subtitle.

(9:23:10 PM) (rawkhawk2010) This is Final Fantasy.

(9:23:13 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "JAPANStudio"

(9:23:24 PM) (rawkhawk2010) CHROM

(9:23:33 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I saw Chrom.

(9:23:42 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: That was a purple haired person.

(9:23:42 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Wait brown hair.

(9:23:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or brown.

(9:23:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And female.

(9:23:50 PM) (rawkhawk2010) If he had blue hair it would be Chrom.

(9:23:55 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Okay, this is some Shadow of the Colossus.

(9:24:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That's a girl?

(9:24:06 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Remaster maybe?

(9:24:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...well it's a high-pitched grunt.

(9:24:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS coming 2018

Shadow of the Colossus PlayStation 4 remake remaster Wander
Shadow of the Colossus is being remade/remastered for 2018.
Its protagonist, Wander, is a girly-looking man.


(9:24:23 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...

(9:24:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe Wander is effeminate I dunno.

(9:24:34 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Well that was uninformative.

(9:24:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Isn't Shadow of the Colossus, uh, already out?

(9:24:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: like

(9:24:43 PM) (rawkhawk2010) what is this

(9:24:45 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Oh

(9:24:48 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: .......a very long time ago?

(9:24:50 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: More CAPCOM.

(9:24:51 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think I know.

(9:24:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Marvel vs. CAPCOM

(9:24:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) WHERE'S PHOENIX WRIGHT

(9:25:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Thanos

(9:25:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm still waiting for Nintendo vs. CAPCOM

(9:25:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Also this keeps buffering

(9:25:39 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: unlike the AHH IT'S MEGA MAN X

(9:25:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: AND ZERO

(9:25:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Rocket

Mega Man X Rocket Raccoon Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite PlayStation 4 Pro 4k
Left: Mega Man X
Right: Rocket Raccoon
(Screenshot brought to you by Rawk.)


(9:25:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: no come back I wanna screenshot

(9:26:00 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think I know more about Marvel than Capcom.

(9:26:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) And I don't read comics.

(9:26:04 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Phoenix Wright would never survive in this universe.

(9:26:18 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Marvel vs. Capcom INFINITE

(9:26:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is Okami even in this?

(9:26:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) uuhhhh

(9:26:34 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: CAPCOM loves these gag endings.

(9:26:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I thought "No, wait!" was Phoenix's voice.

(9:26:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: dem ladies

(9:26:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Seriously.

(9:26:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that guy making a Bayonetta reference?

(9:26:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Care to dance?

(9:27:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think that's common.

(9:27:18 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: With guns?

(9:27:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: With guns with names?

(9:27:43 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) More Nazis?

(9:27:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ACTIVISION presents

(9:27:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Well Capcom shouldn't want to reference Bayonetta.

(9:28:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Unless they think her and Dante would wanna kill each other.

(9:28:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) In which case, maybe.

(9:28:30 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm switching to the playstation channel stream

(9:28:36 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: but this might be more laggy

(9:28:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this Call of Duty?

(9:28:47 PM) (rawkhawk2010) mine buffers too

(9:28:53 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think it's Sony's problem.

(9:28:56 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) And mine.

(9:29:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) oh my god

(9:29:13 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: How come Microsoft didn't show Call of Duty?

(9:29:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I forgot Call of Duty existed. >.>

(9:29:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Me too.

(9:29:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) And Halo.

(9:29:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Weird.

(9:29:30 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I didn't forget Halo existed

(9:29:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This one is called

(9:29:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Call of Duty WWII"

Call of Duty WWII title card screen Activision Sledgehammer Games World War II
If you think KoopaTV should go back to reacting to the year's latest Call of Duty's cutscenes as a movie, let us know in the comments.


(9:29:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Call of Duty World War II

(9:29:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Does that count as having "World" for a sub-title?

(9:29:56 PM) (rawkhawk2010) WELL THAT'S NEW AND REFRESHING

(9:30:04 PM) (rawkhawk2010) We went from space to World War II.

(9:30:08 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Didn't CoD START with WWII way back when?

(9:30:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:30:17 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol

(9:30:17 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is there a Call of Duty WWI?

(9:30:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:30:23 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Skyrim.

(9:30:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Called WWI?

(9:30:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "PlayStation VR Game"

(9:30:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Seeing Skyrim is getting old.

(9:30:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Isn't that game like six years old.

(9:31:07 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Also lol. They're playing the Skyrim theme comically fast.

(9:31:08 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim VR

(9:31:36 PM) (rawkhawk2010) No one has talked on stage since that first guy left.

(9:31:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this No Man's Sky?

(9:31:47 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I'm not a fan of this rapidity.

(9:31:59 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...no.

(9:32:20 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a 2D platformer with a woman.

(9:32:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And a giant monster.

(9:32:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) This is VR?

(9:32:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And another giant monster.

(9:32:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yes.

(9:32:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Star Child"

(9:33:23 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SuperMassive Games production

(9:33:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Mood whiplash

(9:33:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Didn't this show last year and we liked it?

(9:33:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is that Ain't Nothin' But a Hounddog with different lyrics?

(9:33:52 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Oh, is this We Happy Few?

(9:33:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) uhhhhhhhhhhhh

(9:34:02 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Oh, I forgot about that.

(9:34:03 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: No

(9:34:06 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It's The Inpatient

(9:34:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wotever that is.

(9:34:15 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Oh, never heard of it.

(9:34:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: We should really follow up on E3 games we like.

(9:34:27 PM) (rawkhawk2010) FINAL FANTASY FISHING

(9:34:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: So this is Final Fantasy 15 fishing?

(9:34:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Just what we always wanted!

Monsters of the Deep Final Fantasy XV fishing PlayStation VR
...yay?


(9:34:46 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Perfect soundtrack for fishing.

(9:34:51 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) AHAHHH

(9:34:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: MONSTER OF THE DEEP: Final Fantasy XV

(9:35:01 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol that audience reaction

(9:35:04 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Awful.

(9:35:09 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I saw a guy shaking his head.

(9:35:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) hahahahahahahahaha

(9:35:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yeha

(9:35:45 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...well okay let's not even talk about wot we just saw.

(9:35:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Book.

(9:36:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Polyarc |"

(9:36:06 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I feel like we saw this as a Kinect game once.

(9:36:12 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Something about magical books.

(9:36:20 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot happened to that Harry Potter Kinect game?

(9:36:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Mouse

Moss Mouse PlayStation VR Game
This is actually a game called Moss that has nothing to do with Redwall.


(9:36:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Rare?

(9:36:32 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That may be what I'm thinking of.

(9:36:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is this a Redwall game?

(9:36:54 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I was just thinking of Redwall.

(9:37:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That'd actually be cool.

(9:37:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: uh

(9:37:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot was he just slashing?

(9:37:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Moss?

(9:37:31 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: There's no Redwall book called Moss?

(9:37:45 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: This isn't a game.

(9:37:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Dunno, I only got to Book 3

(9:37:56 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "ALL ABOUT THE GAMES"

(9:38:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: That's hardware.

(9:38:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And silence

(9:38:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Then I never read a book again besides Frankenstein and the one where the Muslim got raped.

(9:38:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: darkness

(9:38:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wot

(9:38:15 PM) (rawkhawk2010) The Kiterunner

(9:38:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Or whatever

(9:38:23 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Imagine if that chandelier fell and crushed half the audience.

(9:38:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: LOL

(9:38:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) SEA OF THIEVES

(9:38:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) oh wait, just god of war

(9:38:59 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh yeah.

(9:39:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: With the kid.

(9:39:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot about the kid.

(9:39:10 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is this the same God of War announced years ago or a new one?

(9:39:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Same one I think unless the kid is in multiple.

God of War Family 2018 kid wife husband father
Fun for the whole family?


(9:39:40 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I don't remember the last one getting released.

(9:39:48 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Not that i pay much attention to God of War.

(9:40:08 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Let's see if we see more bears.

(9:40:28 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Did I hear Mark Hamill's voice?

(9:40:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Buffering problems on this stream too BTW even at 360p

(9:40:38 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is that Luke Skywalker?

(9:40:44 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yeah, him.

(9:41:06 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I thought I heard him give some male VO.

(9:41:30 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) And yeah, I already knocked my stream down to 480p.

(9:41:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I got a Twitch notice saying to try putting it back (up) to auto.

(9:42:11 PM) (rawkhawk2010) mine's still 1080p

(9:42:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) i think

(9:42:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "What is this?"

(9:42:37 PM) (rawkhawk2010) THE WORLD SERPENT

(9:42:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) More World

(9:42:41 PM) (rawkhawk2010) s

(9:43:06 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Why do serpents always look happy?

(9:43:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Even in real life?

(9:43:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh yeah this doesn't have a sub-title.

(9:43:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "early 2018"

(9:43:29 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Wait, it's just called God of War?

(9:43:39 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Well that's stupid.

(9:43:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that Alex Hunter?

DETROIT Become Human black man android robot possessed
This is a generic black male android from DETROIT: Become Human. It is not Alex Hunter.


(9:43:45 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Like Sonic The Hedgehog?

(9:43:52 PM) (rawkhawk2010) It's gotta be.

(9:43:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) LOL

(9:43:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) ALEX HUNTER SINGING

(9:44:07 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Who knew he could sing?!

(9:44:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Damn this is some world-building for a FIFA game.

(9:44:27 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Oh, is this that game about androids?

(9:44:36 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) That we saw last year?

(9:44:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: The one with choices?

(9:44:42 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I'll watch for the first soccer ball.

(9:44:43 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) With the kidnapped kid?

(9:44:55 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yeah, choices.

(9:44:57 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh.

(9:45:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: .......this might be Watch_Dogs 2

(9:45:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Why didn't Ubisoft show that?

(9:45:22 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) It's already out.

(9:45:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: WHAT

(9:45:35 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yeah.

(9:45:36 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Last year.

(9:45:37 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Hasn't Watch Dogs 2 been released for like two years?

(9:45:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: NO ONE'S TALKED ABOUT IT

(9:46:13 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Ripping that drone apart.

(9:46:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "My name is Marcus. Just like you I was a slave."

(9:46:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: to a bunch of black people

(9:46:45 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: including Alex Hunter

(9:46:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

(9:46:59 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Anderson Cooper

Detroit Become Human CTNTV CTN TV Anderson Cooper white old male news anchor CyberLife attack
Anderson Cooper with CTN TV?


(9:47:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) LOL

(9:47:31 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Will You Choose Violence Or Pacifism?

(9:47:41 PM) (rawkhawk2010) political commentary

(9:47:51 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Black Power fist

(9:47:59 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) #CyberLivesMatter

(9:48:57 PM) (rawkhawk2010) "RIOT"

(9:49:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: DETROIT Become Human

(9:49:16 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf it's named after Detroit?

(9:49:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Did we see this last year?

(9:49:28 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I feel like we did.

(9:49:31 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yes.

(9:49:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah.

(9:49:38 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Androids in Detroit is familiar, yeah.

(9:49:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Barely.

(9:49:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't remember the name being Detroit.

(9:49:50 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Destiny 2?

(9:49:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I just remember the dude throwing someone off a roof.

(9:50:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: After an agonising choice.

(9:50:16 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yeah, that was a hostage situation.

(9:50:16 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Does Destiny sell?

(9:50:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh this trailer just had the dude kicking someone off a roof.

(9:50:32 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) It's on-disc DLC does.

(9:50:56 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Destiny is very unpopular among gamers.

(9:51:06 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (At least on the GameFAQs message boards for its DLC)

(9:51:09 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: DESTINY 2

(9:51:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: September 6

(9:51:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: EXCLUSIVE PlayStation content.

(9:51:49 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) EXCLUSIVE, asterisk.

(9:51:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Shawn Layden is back.

(9:52:03 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Okay everybody just breathe"

(9:52:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Who's worse, Shawn Layden or Sean Pratt?

(9:52:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I dunno I didn't care about a single thing.

(9:52:32 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is this the end?

(9:52:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) wtf

(9:52:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) This is the last thing?!

(9:52:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Let me leave you with a true exclusive PlayStation... a true PlayStation exclusive!"

(9:53:11 PM) (rawkhawk2010) New Donk City

(9:53:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Were the other games non-exclusive?

(9:53:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or fake?

(9:53:22 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: OH

(9:53:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S SPIDERMAN

(9:53:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I remember last year

(9:53:38 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Nice timing, Ludwig.

(9:53:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: they had a hashtag in the titlecard and we tweeted it

(9:53:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) You were just talking about Spiderman.

(9:53:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is that Sasuke's voice actor?

(9:53:56 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: and  the developer replied and was like

(9:54:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: nah there's no hashtag.

(9:54:14 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Didn't Insomniac end up following KoopaTV?

Insomniac Games Twitter account The Unspoken E3 2017
We fatefully met after Sony's E3 2016 conference...


(9:54:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) He sounds like Sasuke and that dude from Bayonetta who I can't remember the name of.

(9:54:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I don't think they still do.

(9:54:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: oh crap

(9:54:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: they still do

(9:54:53 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is that Yakuza?

(9:55:07 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Wow, they put up with us for a whole year!

(9:56:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh I didn't pay attention to this game.

(9:56:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I don't remember it at all.

(9:56:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Spiderman almost kicked a dude off a cliff.

(9:56:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: But is like "nah" and webbed him back to the roof.

(9:56:29 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I don't think we saw foortage last year.

(9:56:34 PM) (rawkhawk2010) oh

(9:56:38 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Just a trailer.

(9:56:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I think we just saw the titlecard with the hashtag.

(9:56:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I don't like Spiderman as a character.

(9:57:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I like his moves, but not him.

(9:57:22 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: whodat

(9:57:28 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Peter Ong

(9:57:40 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Shinzo Abe

(9:57:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Whoever we want it to be

(9:58:16 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: How come Spiderman's white eyes on his costumes squint with him?

Spider-Man squinting eyes PS4 PlayStation 4
Those aren't actually Spider-Man's eyes, right?


(9:58:20 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: How is that possible?

(9:58:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Capt. Watanabe

(9:58:50 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Isn't that a Nintendo developer?

(9:58:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Same way Diddy Kong can do ^_^ without closing his eyes.

(9:59:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Martin Lee"

(9:59:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Spiderman is causing more destruction than the helicopter.

Spider-Man PS4 Martin Li helicopter siwpe attack
Martin Li (correct spelling) wants you OUT.


(9:59:48 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is this whole game just QTEs?

(10:00:40 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: uhhhhhhh

(10:00:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't really know.

(10:01:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well that was clearly a QTE.

(10:01:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Webbing to prevent the helicopter from crashing.

(10:01:28 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SPIDER-MAN

(10:01:31 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: 2018

(10:01:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: There's no hashtag.

(10:01:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: INSOMNIAC LEARNED FROM KOOPATV!

(10:01:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Excellent job!

(10:02:13 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Too bad the rest of the conference sucked.

(10:02:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Spiderman was bad too.

(10:02:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, if Nintendo can't win E3

(10:02:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: then this will be one of the worst E3s in KoopaTV history.

(10:03:01 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Mouse game > Spider

(10:03:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or period.

(10:03:06 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Final Fantasy Fishing > Spider

(10:03:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Wasn't the mouse game just cutscenes?

(10:03:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Sony is really proud of that Monster Hunter cooking scene/

(10:03:32 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Yes but Spiderman basically was too.

(10:03:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) BEAR

(10:03:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah but the developer listened to us and took the hashtag out of the title-card.

(10:04:04 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf Alex Hunter

Spider-Man PS4 PlayStation 4 black boy kid male smartphone let's go
Alex Hunter doesn't even look like this. This is just some black kid with a smartphone from Spider-Man.


(10:04:18 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's over. Let's go!"

(10:04:24 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Some morons are chanting

(10:04:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SONY SONY SONY SONY

(10:04:30 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol, every young black dude is Alex Hunter now.

(10:04:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

(10:04:43 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It's the best way to get views!

(10:04:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That was...not good.

(10:05:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: That was                                                 

(10:05:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: uh

(10:05:03 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Not to mention the sound issues.

(10:05:06 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: arguably worse than EA.

(10:05:07 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) And buffering issues.

(10:05:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I think it was worse than EA.

(10:05:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well.

(10:05:30 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Okay.

(10:05:34 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Car porn was better than this.

(10:05:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Sony should've hired Aisha Tyler.




Tonight was the first half of E3. Now for E3 to actually begin, and for the exhaustive Nintendo coverage to begin! This is Nintendo's conference to lose.


Click here to learn the origins of the so-called #SPIDERMANPS4 debacle with Sony's E3 2016! 
Ubisoft did without Aisha Tyler this year, leaving her a free agent. Check out their E3 2017 conference here!
The conference after this isn't a conference, but the Nintendo Spotlight.

4 comments :

  1. "Well, if Nintendo can't win E3 then this will be one of the worst E3s in KoopaTV history."
    I haven't been paying very much attention to E3 so far, but now I am glad that I haven't.

    ReplyDelete
  2. All I wanted was a Spyro Trilogy HD release. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess those "hinted" stuff didn't come out that way.

      I wonder how we would've reacted to the Undertale port coming to PS4.

      Delete

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