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Tuesday, November 7, 2017

KoopaTV's Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Non-Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Can we really feel Xenoblade Chronicles 2, or are we submersed in apathy?

Today at 9 AM Eastern Nintendo showcased a ~17-minute Nintendo Direct exclusively on Xenoblade Chronicles 2. No one was able to attend the live viewing of it, but fortunately for us (and you, so you can follow along), video-on-demand exists. Rawk, Vortexica, and myself all non-live reacted to this Direct!

[7:53 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa:
[7:53 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (not that I'll be here to watch it live)
[6:11 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: yo is anyone here
[6:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm here.
[6:11 PM] Rawk
[6:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: say start when you start
[6:11 PM] Vortex: Room for one more?
[6:11 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: yay
[6:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hold on.
[6:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...
[6:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Um...
[6:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I have a question.
[6:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Just looking at the 00:00.
[6:13 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: that's a question?
[6:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...How is it E10+ to Teen?
[6:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I wrote E310+ at first)
[6:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (dammit E3)
[6:14 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Oh.
[6:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If it's just about one game?
[6:14 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Maybe the DLC.
[6:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DLC gets individually rated?
[6:14 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Yes.
[6:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Also this is about more than one game.
[6:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it says
[6:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct"
[6:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's one game.
[6:15 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: This happens a lot.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Also, I don't see an individual ESRB rating for, say, the Dual Destinies DLC.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or BotW's.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or Kart 8.
[6:16 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Yo say start when you start.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is Vortex still attentive?
[6:16 PM] Vortex: Yes.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: k
[6:16 PM] Vortex: Ready when you are.
[6:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: start
[6:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Legend of Elysium"
[6:17 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: The narration doesn't fit, lol.
[6:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Today, we'll explain the next big adventure"
[6:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And YOU wanted to do it tomorrow.
[6:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Japanese audio and English sub-titles, as we're EXCITED!"
[6:18 PM] Vortex: This guy reminds me of the Pokemon anime narrator.
[6:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Thanks to free DLC"
[6:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Why is not dubbing the game considered a feature?
[6:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Game text will be available in English with either English or Japanese voiceover."
[6:18 PM] Vortex: Damn, that's brutal.
[6:18 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: I read that as "stabbed through the heart by Jim"
[6:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So some marketer at Nintendo determined the target audience for this game are weeaboos who prefer sub-titles instead of dubbing, so they set-up this Direct that way?
[6:19 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: instead of "Jin"
[6:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guess I'm not in Xenoblade's target audience.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Akhos Torna's brains Torna Toma Elysium glasses
The target audience wears glasses without top rims.

[6:19 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Well they haven't dubbed the game yet obviously.
[6:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it's out next month.
[6:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It should already be finished for manufacturing.
[6:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Unless that's what the DLC is for.
[6:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And the DLC is putting the dub in.
[6:20 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: lol
[6:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause they otherwise wouldn't be able to get it on shelves before Christmas.
[6:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not actually paying attention to this trailer.
[6:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause hell no I'm not reading these sub-titles and reacting in this chat at the same time.
[6:20 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Well people were acting like the reveal of Japanese voice acting in the NA release was the best thing about the Direct.
[6:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: shh don't spoil
[6:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I haven't seen anyone else's reactions or any information on this Direct.
[6:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Blades - Living Weapons"
[6:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ENGLISH NARRATION YAY
[6:22 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Rex is a driver.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Rex drivers
There's no way this kid is old enough to drive.

[6:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So are these a bunch of mechas?
[6:22 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: in b4 women can't drive
[6:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "and scenic beaches"
[6:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...that wasn't footage of a beach.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct scenic beach
Nothing about this screams beach. For one, there's no water. It's floating in the sky above clouds. There's no sand.

[6:22 PM] Vortex: Me: That's a beach?
[6:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That was some kind of sky thing.
[6:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Rawk did you screenshot the beach?
[6:23 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: "some will show up to a fight uninvited"
[6:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: uh
[6:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I haven't screenshotted anything)
[6:23 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: i thought that was the whole point of fucking enemies
[6:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "If you visit their graves, you can fight them again, so they can remember who put them there."
[6:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: the hell
[6:23 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: rofl
[6:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What do I care if the monster remembers me or not?
[6:24 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Well the music is good.
[6:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But all of this is nonsense.
[6:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nonsense to decent music we'll probably hear again in Smash 5.
[6:25 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: I don't wanna play as Rex btw.
[6:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: He reminds me of Hau.
[6:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: These blades either look like mechas, or Fi from Skyward Sword.
[6:25 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: QTEs
[6:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Speaking of Skyward Sword, Rex just jumped off a cliff.
[6:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Just like Link did.
[6:26 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: TIME
[6:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Somehow, you can change the time by setting the clock's hands."

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct change time clock
STOP CHANGING TIME. It's up to the gods in the background to do that. Man must stay out of time!
Abolish Daylight Savings Time!

[6:26 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Guess Trump's not gonna prevent that.
[6:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: (See the KoopaTV article before this one.)
[6:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "NOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL-...."
[6:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[6:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 8-bit game
[6:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Tiger Tiger"
[6:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: featuring a fish?

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Tiger Tiger minigame diving underwater 8-bit classic retro NES
Tiger Tiger is apparently a classically-styled minigame where you go underwater and collect stuff.
Perhaps they dove into the water from a REAL beach?

[6:28 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: OPIOIDS

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Poppi Tora customize characters RawkHawk2010
Poppi's been used since ancient times as an analgesic and narcotic medicinal and recreational drug. Dangerous!

[6:28 PM] Vortex: Elemental puns.... ughghg.
[6:28 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Well, that wasn't a lot of time spent on Poppy.
[6:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Vess looks hideous.
[6:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Condensing the user interface is a feature.
[6:30 PM] Vortex: These enemy names are freaking weird. They almost seem randomly generated.
[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Olphen Jagron"
[6:31 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: They sound like Middle Earth shit.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Garnia Camill fight battle monster monsters enemy enemies
Don't confuse it with Ace Attorney Investigations' Cammy Meele, even if they both sleep while standing.

[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Nomad Rhinon"
[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Rivarl Lexos"
[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Sprack Parisax"
[6:31 PM] Vortex: Sprack
[6:31 PM] Vortex: SPRACK
[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Amman Balgas"
[6:31 PM] Vortex: Honestly.
[6:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We hope you're really feeling it"
[6:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Expansion Pass available to purchase.
[6:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[6:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're giving Xenoblade DLC for Breath of the Wild?
[6:32 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: This game isn't finished.
[6:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: If they've already planned that much DLC.
[6:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, "Support Items For Your Journey" isn't new content.
[6:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But after that it's "New Quests" "New Rare Blade" "New Challenge Mode" and "A Brand-New Story and Adventure!"

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Direct Expansion Pass Schedule DLC packs Nintendo eShop
“The Expansion Pass grants access to DLC packs as they are released. DLC packs cannot be purchased individually.”

[6:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DLC packs cannot be purchased individually.
[6:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So you must buy the Expansion Pass to get any DLC.
[6:34 PM] Vortex: That... sucks.
[6:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: goes back and gets a screenshot of the beach
[6:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, I'm not buying this game.
[6:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not that I planned to.
[6:35 PM] Vortex: Ditto. I still have BotW to play after I finish Odyssey, so not like I need one of these huge RPGs in my life.
[6:35 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: When at the end they revealed "chain attacks" as a special feature, I thought that's what they had been doing the whole time.
[6:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: The characters were already connected by energy chains, dammit.
[6:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 isn't on the ESRB site yet.
[6:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: As we discussed in the September Direct, the energy chains are what the Blades do most of the time.
[6:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They extend their arms out and support the Driver.
[6:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But they're not actually attacking anything.
[6:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Any other thoughts?
[6:38 PM] Vortex: I think I'd be embarrassed to play this.
[6:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Whoa, it's not Fire Emblem X SMT.
[6:38 PM] Vortex: That's my final conclusion.
[6:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I forgot what that game's actual name is)
[6:39 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: I think I'd be overwhelmed.
[6:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh.
[6:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE"
[6:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, that's embarrassing.
[6:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But Xenoblade Chronicles 2 just doesn't connect with me on any level.
[6:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I have zero curiosity about it.
[6:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But hey, at least I'm not actively hating it like, y'know, ARMS.
[6:41 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Do we even think this is gonna sell?
[6:41 PM] Vortex: I do like the fact that each area is a giant living creature. Plus the amount of thought that went into the different in-game nation states. But that's about it.
[6:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, they're making it the Switch's big game for Christmas.
[6:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So Nintendo must have confidence in it.
[6:42 PM] Vortex: How did Xenoblade Chronicles 1 do in terms of sales?
[6:42 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: I think Americans wanted Xenoblade Chronicles 1 simply 'cuz they were always told they couldn't have it.
[6:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh... the 3DS version wasn't that good, but Xenoblade Chronicles sold through its supply.
[6:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Which was very low, and via GameStop-only in the USA)
[6:44 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: The literal top comment on YouTube is "Nice they are allowing Japanese voices with English subs, good move"
[6:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ew
[6:45 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: Is that being the best thing about the DIrect just a testament to the Direct being bad?
[6:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That, or Nintendo fans have terrible priorities.
[6:46 PM] Rawk
Hawk2010: The Champions can tell you their powers are back in Japanese and that was never a huge deal.
[6:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: URBOSA'S FURY IS READY

Miiverse ending in 6 hours is kind of a big bummer going through the day, though it is very likely that the lack of enthusiasm in this log is strictly on the Direct's lack of merits, and not the loss of Miiverse.

Here is the September 2017 Nintendo Direct, also known as the last time Xenoblade Chronicles was mentioned on KoopaTV.
Ludwig reacted to the dedicated Xenoblade Chronicles 3 Direct. Also non-live. But it was a better presentation.


  1. I told you there were too many reactions.

    1. Yeah, but you were also trolling the whole feedback form. Am I supposed to take any of that seriously?

    2. In that feedback form, you wrote,
      "i enjoy trolling jewboys and birdmen."

      And you gave 1s to every category.

    3. It was constructive criticism.

    4. You might as well have just commented to end the site.

    5. I want you to be successful though.

    6. You apparently hate all of the articles.

    7. You fail to write about The Legend of Zelda in every article.

    8. Well, we don't write about anything in every article...

    9. Miiverse sucked anyways, get over it.

    10. Charssie GodNovember 8, 2017 at 10:24 PM

      Rest in peace Miiverse.

    11. Charssie God is a community, we aren't just one individual.

    12. ...Oh, should I disqualify y'all from the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, then?

    13. That would be a negatory cowboy.

    14. How would your community distribute a code prize?

    15. We hold a Poker tournament and the winner gets the code.

    16. Oooooooooooooooh I'm interested in this now.

      Even if the poker isn't strip poker.

    17. It's quite the heated competition.

    18. Are you allowed to win your own prize?

    19. Do the odds of winning money outweigh the odds of losing money or something?

  2. I'm looking to Xenoblade Chronicles 2 so much.

    (Also, there's a TON of JRPG players who get mad if they can't play with Japanese audio. That's nothing specific to Nintendo fans or Xenoblade fans.)

    1. Oh yeah? Then why'd you write about some manipulative bitch named Rachel on your site today instead of talk about Xenoblade Chronicles 2, huh?

      (Are there actually a TON of these people, or are they just an obnoxious-loud minority?)

    2. Because I spent a significant amount of time writing a large article about Xenoblade for Nintendo Chit Chat that will be up next week. xD

      (Hmm... it's possible they're just a loud minority. I just know that on almost every JRPG article I read, I see people in the comments either asking for dual audio, praising it when it's announced, or complaining if it isn't there.)

    3. I guess you wanna spare the Internet repetition...

      (I could see them going to every comments section ever and spreading their cause. Maybe they'll find their way here. They probably come from some Reddit shithole.)

  3. Who are Vortex and Rawk and why do they make reaction logs with Koopa.

    1. There are several other KoopaTV staff members than just me.

      Reaction logs are when we all come together and contribute to content at once, though we've also all* showed up in productions such as KoopaTV Adventures Episode 1 and KoopaTV Adventures Special Episode.

      *Not Wendy...yet.

  4. With this, Nintendo now has a complete gaming system:

    • Adventure - Zelda: Breath of the Wild
    • Platformer - Mario Odyssey
    • Racing - Mario Kart
    • Fighting - ARMS
    • Party - 1-2 Switch (I'd say this is the one that least deserves to be on this list, above ARMS)
    • Tactical - Mario + Rabbids (against all odds), and now...
    • Role-Playing - Xenoblade Chronicles 2

    Wait... it's only been A YEAR?!

    1. Also (and I can't believe I forgot this),
      • Shooter - Splatoon 2

    2. ...Yeah, I guess... that just about covers it.

      If you want Sports, you also got the The Journey-less FIFA 18.


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