Ubisoft Forward June 2023 Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It feels like all of their games are the same and have been for some time.

While E3 2023 does not exist and I'm under no obligation to watch this, I'm pretty sure this Ubisoft presentation is what they would've shown if Ubisoft would present at E3 like they promised they would. (As opposed to quitting out of it, which caused the entire event to collapse.)

Live reacting to it (rather briskly) is... myself, in the middle of the day. The funny thing about me taking time off for E3 2023 well in advance is that since it's cancelled, all (most) of these individual company sessions aren't actually taking place in the middle or end of this week, but have already happened or are happening now.

[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrB-VSmWJJI
[1:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dancing!
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Olympic eSport dancing.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But featuring Just Dance.
[1:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, yeah.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They did the Olympic eSports before, but dancing wasn't part of it.
[1:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But they expanded the sports this time and Just Dance is involved.
[1:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'll have a screenshot near this text with a link to my article about the prior one; there's no article about the current one just based on the prior one being a flop in my eyes.

The Olympic Virtual Series were announced in 2021.
Ludwig watched through the baseball finals here.

[1:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That goes into Avatar Frontiers (Avatar with blue people).
[1:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I have nothing to say about it, apparently.
[1:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Avatar Frontiers of Pandora" is the full subtitle.
[1:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: James Cameron is here to convince us to be interested.
[1:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I just wanna note the person is named Na'vi, and she's blue, like Navi, from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
[1:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There are burned in open captions in the video, as well as YouTube-provided closed captions (that aren't auto-generated), but the closed captions are way off.
[1:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: James Cameron just thanked us twice.
[1:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH, THERE'S AN ACTUAL AUDIENCE CLAPPING.
[1:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ditte Deenfeldt proud to represent the Avatar team. In front of the audience, there are no open captons, only the closed ones. The closed ones are several seconds behind the actual talk.
[1:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So I guess if I screenshot certain dialogue, the visual won't match the sub-title.
[1:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (The person isn't named Na'vi, that's the species. Still blue.)
[1:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (You can tell I never watched Avatar.)
[1:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There is a montage of YouTubers/Twitch influencers/"content creators" playing "XDefiant", another Ubisoft multiplayer shooty game.
[1:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It just had a closed beta test in April.
[1:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The public beta was the 28th public test (and the one without an NDA).
[1:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Over 1.5 million people played that beta. They want to launch in summer. There is an open session on PC, Xbox Series, and PS5 from June 21 to June 23 to address feedback.
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They are going over their roadmap which looks very busy.
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "One new map every month."
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Fun arcade FPS experience."
[1:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What is a "preseason"?
[1:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that just "what is in the game when it launches"?

Ludwig can't criticise this model because he holds Splatoon dear, and that did this exact thing.
(Though they didn't call it a preseason.)

[1:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's been an animated movie of Prince of Persia for a while but I don't care about non-gameplay.
[1:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Prince of Persia the Lost Crown releases January 18, 2024.
[1:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, finally some gameplay.
[1:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring 2D platforming and exploration and Mega Man X-like movement.
[1:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There'll be mastery skills in a "semi open-world" which I'm reading as it being Metroidvania-esque.
[1:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The sub-titles don't know how to handle this guy's accent.
[1:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's... like they're sub-titling it in real-time?
[1:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He just Divine Pulsed (or "time power").
[1:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It releases on all platforms", including the Nintendo Switch! Where it'll compete with Metroid Dread.
[1:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There is a guy with a goofy visor saying he is in the Castlevania series on Netflix.
[1:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Whoa, this isn't a Konami event.)
[1:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix" a love letter to the 90s as an animated series.
Ubisoft said no to this guy's concept. ..."Just kidding, they said yes. That's why I'm up here! Come on!"
[1:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The first anime series by Ubisoft."
[1:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a violet dystopian love story satire.
[1:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And it's philosophically conscious?
[1:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It'll be released worldwide "later this year." Got a specific time?
[1:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sharing a teaser trailer.
[1:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ooh, there was a guy with an arm cannon.
[1:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Fall 2023"
[1:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And somehow that gets into Tom Clancy's The Division Resurgence.
[1:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They keep saying "A Ubisoft Original" to remind me how to pronounce Ubisoft (with a "you" sound, not an "oo" sound).
[1:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And by saying it's not actually narrated, just silently on screen. But the use of "A" versus "An" reveals the intention.
[1:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There isn't any dividing in this trailer so I'm not interested. Just more shooty stuff. They're not even bisecting people.
[1:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it's coming Fall 2023. And on mobile devices. (But not the Switch.)
[1:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Meanwhile, there is this random band on stage singing "Skull and Bones", which is...a  game that never came out. Meanwhile, Sea of Thieves has had a zillion expansions.
[1:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: One of the guys in the band has no music instruments and isn't singing.

The thing about on-stage performances is that since I don't care about the games presented, I can still appreciate the performances for their own sake.

[1:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Possibly two of these guys.
[1:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay, now they're all singing. The band is "Home Free"
[1:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, this is the best part of the presentation so far as a matter of entertainment. (The Just Dance is the second best.) This is why I tune into Ubisoft presentations, and they're trying to make it as E3-y as they can without E3.
[1:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "LONG LIVE PIRACY" is a tagline, hmmm...?
Closed Beta: August 25 to 28.
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now there is a montage of stuff.
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH EW
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: PLUUMBER
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AND HIS FREAKY RABBIDS COMPANIONS
[1:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Master Chief in Brawlhalla happens to appear.
[1:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Does a montage mean it's the end?
[1:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, no, another Rabbids thing.
[1:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WITH RAYMAN.
[1:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Final DLC with Rayman comnig later in 2023"

It's not that I'm happy that the Rabbid dressed as my arch-enemy is fainted on the floor.
I'd feel that way about any Rabbid. Freaks.

[1:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So you're saying only Shigeru Miyamoto can get Rayman to appear in Ubisoft's own presentations?
[1:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Millions of thrill-seekers (just like... ME?!) are enjoying The Crew.
[1:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The future of The Crew is The Crew: Motorfest.
[1:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "A celebration for car lovers." AKA not me.
[1:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At least Microsoft balanced out its car porn with Microsoft Flight Simulator.
[1:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What'll Ubisoft do?
[1:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy says "Dive" like CD-i Ganon says "DIE".
[1:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're just showing off car model renders.

I don't caaare.

[1:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So far Ubisoft's presentation has been guns, cars, and... the Prince of Persia.
[1:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now they're showing Assassin's Creed in VIRTUAL REALITY.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed has done untold damage to dudes wearing hoodies.
[1:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now you can experience it in VR!
[1:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Assassin's Creed Codename Jade is our first open world RPG game on mobile."
[1:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In CHINA.
[1:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (The game setting, not necessarily where you can play the game from.)
[1:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed Mirage trailer. You know, Prince of Persia feels like proto-Assassin's Creed.
[1:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Similar vibe.
[1:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sarah Beaulieu (SO MANY VOWELS) is asking the audience what it means to be free.
[1:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No answers.
[1:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Buying a blowdart from a merchant is a momentous super-important decision that cannot be reversed and will alter your whole gameplay. So I guess they have a no-returns policy.
[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Someone is getting slapped in the courtyard.
[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He has mines.
[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And smoke balls. Hm.
[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Makes me wanna play Splatoon.
[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Toxic Mist?)
[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yves Guillemot still works here, and appeared on stage to "thank all gamers, all around the world." Even me? :)
[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Applauding his generosity is thanking others.
[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, YEAH. Star Wars Outlaws. They said they would show this in today's event in yesterday's Xbox event.
[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Julian Gerighty was called to give a speech, but he wants to cut it short and just show gameplay.
[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He's still doing a speech, though.
[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cut to game footage. "WORK-IN-PROGRESS DOES NOT REPRESENT FINAL QUALITY" disclaimer, which disappeared.
[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: See, they should have the disclaimer throughout the entire trailer.
[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Also, why a trailer? What happened to gameplay?)
[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Gameplay here. So far, it's just Assassin's Creed but with Star Wars characters.
[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, and more projectile-based because shooty instead of knifey.
[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I like that the captions are keeping track of "Hired Gun 6" as opposed to "Hired Gun 8".
[2:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They just did the same slow-down actions-macro from Assassin's Creed Mirage but here, except now with a motorcycle and pistol.
[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ND claims you can't trust Danka because Danka doesn't make friends, but Danka has a friend next to her.
[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, that was a pointless meeting.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kay just pointed a gun at the friend and got nothing out of it.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now she's wanted and the Empire wants to arrest her or kill her.
[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not a very productive use of time.
[2:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Quest Completed: The Broker" BUT SHE DIDN'T BROKE ANYTHING
[2:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But Kay is smugly on her chair feeling proud of herself.
[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm on my chair not feeling proud of myself for how I used up the last 80 minutes of my time.
[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now all of the Ubisoft cast is on stage clapping for themselves.
[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wotever I'm gonna go eat.
[2:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The real show is later for CAPCOM anyway!


The presentation kept going with a deep dive for the Star Wars Outlaws game and probably other stuff for a whole other hour, but Ludwig didn't watch that.


The Xbox Games Showcase the day before was more interesting.
KoopaTV last reacted to an Ubisoft Forward back at E3 2021.
Here is the real CAPCOM show!