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Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Sleep Kirby With The Best Pillow You'll Ever Own

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - All about Sleep Kirby.

While it looks like Nintendo does not want to write a press release for this result like they did the first round, it is official: Sleep Kirby has won Round 2 (the final round) of the 25th anniversary Kirby Copy Ability poll, after finishing third place in Round 1.

Weird meme people apparently managed to coalesce and make this result happen, which I see as a referendum on Eating vs. Sleeping. Kirby represented Eating in that (there's a Kirby-Jigglypuff picture, and Jigglypuff is literally wearing Sleep Kirby's hat), but if the fans prefer when he's sleeping, then perhaps Kirby should reconsider his identity.

Sleep Kirby is now playable in Kirby Battle Royale, sporting a pillow-based moveset that is supposed to evoke a pillow fight. In Kirby's normal games, this pillow didn't exist and all Sleep Kirby did was put on a sleeping cap and harmlessly sleep in place, taking a nice rest.

Kirby's newfound pillow expertise leads to a word from KoopaTV's newest sponsor:

Sleep Kirby Mike Lindell MyPillow copy ability pillow
“Hi, I'm Mikirby Lindell, inventor of the world's most comfortable pillow, MyPillow!”

Waddle Dee plush plushie in bed pillow Make America Great Again hat
“We all have the same problems sleeping at night.”

Sleep Kirby plush pillow Waddle Dee bed
“My patented fill will adjust to your individual sleep needs regardless of sleeping position.”

Waddle Dee plush plushie tucked in under blanket sleeping Kirby adorable
“For the best night sleep in the whole wide world, visit MyPillow dot com!”

KoopaTV hasn't been compensated (...yet) for the creation of this article, and none of the pillows in the photographs are actually a MyPillow. In case MyPillow is a bad sponsor, you can buy this KoopaTV pillow instead. No patented fill and no guarantees it'll even be comfortable, but you'll have interesting dreams.

Waddle Dee has had trouble sleeping ever since he got the MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hat, since he never got tired of winning.
Mike Lindell has had a terrible life story, and if you're wondering where his face went from this article, click here.
Ludwig trashes MyPillow as an example of bad products in this article.
Ludwig then trashes Mike Lindell himself as a con artist and fraud.


  1. WHy the fuck is your pillow wet?

    1. "Ludwig Von Koopa - Last Tuesday at 10:31 PM
      No one is going to think that."

      lol eat murkrow


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