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Monday, April 24, 2017

It's Time For Adventure, Diamond and Pearl!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Before it inevitably happens, let's establish some criteria.

Two days ago on April 22nd, 2017, Pokémon Diamond Version and Pokémon Pearl Version (weird to think that “version” is technically a part of the name) had their tenth anniversary in North America! While I normally don't care about anniversaries, I know you guys do. Plus, KoopaTV's staff are made up of a bunch of Sinnoh supremacists, so hey, might as well take the opportunity to talk.

The Sinnoh-related thing on every Pokémon fan's mind is that we're supposed to be getting Sinnoh remakes soon. Just three years ago at around this time of year, The Pokémon Company International announced Pokémon Omega Ruby and Pokémon Alpha Sapphire to everyone's acclaim except my own. (That was eleven years after Pokémon Ruby Version and Pokémon Sapphire Version were released.) There's a pattern of new generation, third version (or sequels, if you're really tricky), and remake of two–three generations prior (Generation 5 ended too quickly to have the Generation 3 remake). We just began Generation 7 last year when Pokémon Sun Version and Pokémon Moon Version released, and Pokémon is arguably an annual release. What will happen this year?

Plus, there's this new Pokémon movie with Marshadow in it that is a throwback to Ash's original Kanto adventures, but there is a girl with a PIPLUP and a guy with a LUCARIO in it for some reason... Hm... What could they POSSIBLY be doing there...? A promotion of things to come?


Personally, the Sinnoh-related thing that's also still on my mind are all of the Super Contest references in KoopaTV's videogame, The Wonderful 1237, so I'll start off by talking about that and then move to a variety of other concerns.

The Contests


The Sinnoh region is famous for its SUPER CONTESTS. The very same format that KoopaTV has endorsed the Republican Party use in its presidential primary system, instead of what they really did which was a horse-race mess.

It sort of got traction in real life, but for the most part, it'll have to stick to Sinnoh. Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire brought back their contests, but renamed the Smart category to Clever. This was a bad decision created by political correctness too afraid to rate people by how smart they are. If Smartness is up for grabs, what about Beauty, Cool, Cute, and Tough? Beauty may be ruined by the fat acceptance movement and other eye-defying social justice efforts. I THINK the others are safe.

There's a possibility that the developers will believe that The Wonderful 1237 appropriated the Super Contests, and not wanting to be associated with The Wonderful 1237 or KoopaTV, will ditch the activity altogether. That would be... quite the undesired consequence.

Post-Game Activities


Pokémon Omega Ruby and Pokémon Alpha Sapphire famously lack the Battle Frontier, despite the Hoenn region being famous for just that. Apparently that's because Game Freak guys Junichi Masuda and Shigeru Ohmori believe that people play individual games less than they used to, due to mobile garbage, so they shouldn't bother putting more and enduring content in the game since most people won't want to stick around.

Pokémon Platinum had a Battle Frontier in it. Let me tell you: That's a lot more fun and enduring than the stupid Battle Tree at the end of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon. If there's any reason to despise Earth Day and want to cause environmental destruction, it's the Battle Tree. CUT IT DOWN. And don't plant a new tree: Battle Frontier, please! In the Battle Zone!

Specifically, the Battle Factory was great.

Arceus and Power


Arceus has been getting a lot of attention lately, what with the Aether Foundation creating Type: Null (and then Silvally) as an attempt to imitate Arceus. Arceus still maintains His position as the Alpha of all Pokémon, having such a role in Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon for the first time.

Arceus Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon connecting dialogue Destiny Tower final
Arceus stands atop the biggest dungeon of the game as the final Pokémon you'll meet, at level 100.

Arceus's Multitype ability has had some updating with the introduction of Z-Crystals: Giving a Z-Crystal (say, Firium Z) to Arceus will change His type (to Fire) just like holding a Plate would (like Flame Plate). It's a little buff.

Still, that's not enough to compete with the excessive power creep that has happened over the past decade. Arceus's 720 base stat total was the highest of all Pokémon back then. Now, there's Primal Kyogre and Primal Groudon at a 770 base stat total, and Mega Rayquaza, Mega Mewtwo X, and Mega Mewtwo Y at a 780 base stat total.

Will they make a Primal Arceus? A Mega Arceus? Special Z-Crystals for Arceus? Some other weird thing with Arceus? You can't have the Alpha Pokémon be outclassed! That's just wrong.

On that note, will Primal Dialga from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky be canon in the Sinnoh remakes? Will Champion Cynthia have a Mega Garchomp? And what other Pokémon will be given Mega evolutions, if any? Mega Purugly, Mega Skuntank, and Mega Toxicroak for Galactic Commanders Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, respectively? Will the Elite 4 members each get a Mega Evolution like the Elite 4 of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire?

...Will there be a Mega Yanmega?

Character Redesigns


One of the biggest travesties with Pokémon Omega Ruby and Pokémon Alpha Sapphire is how they tarnished the character designs from Pokémon Ruby and Pokémon Sapphire. The Team Magma and Team Aqua guys are totally different. Steven is a fop. Brendan looks better (anything's better than his original art), I guess. May looks worse. The point is that they're not afraid to totally redesign people, and it has mixed results.

I'm worried what they're going to do with such visually appealing characters such as Dawn, Mars, and Cynthia.

Pokémon Diamond Pearl Platinum artwork Dawn Cynthia Galactic Admin Mars
Platinum (winter clothes) Dawn is getting her OBJECTION! pose ready in case they do some horrible redesign of her.

Cynthia has been appearing, in, like, every game for the past ten years and she's looked the same as recently as Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon. But this might be when Game Freak decides that Cynthia needs a new wardrobe. (I'm sure she washes her clothes and they don't smell...)

You look at what they did to Team Magma's Tabitha (they made him really fat in the remake) and it's entirely possible they don't think the Team Galactic Commanders are distinct enough, so they'll ruin Mars. This might happen alongside the ruinification of Beauty as a Super Contest category as a tribute to the fat acceptance movement! THEY'RE GOING TO RUIN MARS'S FIGURE. UGH. They'll think it'll be funny, and have fat-Mars go along with her fat Mega Purugly.

Damn them! DAMN THEM ALL.

...Oh, it hasn't happened yet? Well... IT BETTER NOT.


The article title was taken from the Pokémon Diamond & Pearl anime opening song. Not-so-coincidentally, that's his favourite game-based television show. Ludwig really wants the Sinnoh remakes to succeed and be the best Pokémon RPG games ever made. They have fantastic base material to work from, but change for the sake of change is always a potential issue. How do YOU feel about Sinnoh remakes? Should KoopaTV even be writing about something that isn't announced and so far doesn't officially exist?


The biggest hint for Sinnoh potential is the fact that Rotom, a Sinnoh Pokémon, plays a huge role in Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon. Might the Rotom Pokédex return?

4 comments :

  1. I liked Platinum a lot, so I'd enjoy a Sinnoh remake.

    If they change characters, I hope they don't change Cynthia, because her design is pretty cool as it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One thing not discussed in this article because it's no big deal if they don't do it, but I expect they will, is that they'll probably expand a bit more on the story from what Platinum did. Which'll be nice. I'd rather the beneficiaries be existing characters rather than some new character like ORAS did.

      ...It'd be quite stupid if they have Cynthia having the same design across, what, four different regions, some of which are freaking TROPICAL, and then all of a sudden they would change her in her home region's remake.

      They've had Looker be the post-game for the past several games, so what will they do for the region that originated Looker?

      Delete
  2. I'd really like Game Freak to not shovel Cynthia into every Pokémon game. I love her, she has a great design, great music, but still.

    I see you capitalizing on every pronoun reference made to Arceus. That's a pretty great attention to detail.

    I honestly don't see me buying the Sinnoh remakes on Switch... maybe? I still have my Platinum and my sister has her Pearl. I do hope to see some Pokémon Stadium-styled multiplayer on the Nintendo Switch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about Looker?

      Thank you for noticing.

      I assume they'll be on the Nintendo 3DS, not on the Switch. Why would they be on the Switch? They'd be on the 3DS because stuff in the same generation (Sun/Moon's) is always on the same system.

      Delete

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