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Monday, March 1, 2021

KoopaTV's February 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think KoopaTV is finally banned by China's Great Firewall.

February 2021 saw yet another catastrophic death: Right-wing radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who pioneered the whole super-genre of conservative public commentary to the masses. He created a whole new blueprint of one-to-many interaction. Without Rush Limbaugh, the likes of Herman Cain (may Herman Cain also rest in peace) would have never been relevant. And without Herman Cain, KoopaTV wouldn't exist. Basically, our godfather's godfather passed away in February, and that's always a bummer.

Still, Rush Limbaugh produced a very large body of archived work, and his influence over culture has been deeply embedded. Speaking for this website, we don't need him around in order for us to keep functioning. We know what we're doing and how to do it well. And... do it well we shall, as shown in the rest of this newsletter

Top Five Recommended Experiences of February 2021


The most important part of KoopaTV are the experiences published in the form of week-daily articles. All of them are worth your time and emotional investment, but here are the top five from February (which only had about one or two less articles than usual despite being two or three days shorter than normal months):
  1. BALAN WONDERWORLD is how you don't make a 3D Platformer (or any other game) — Ludwig tried out the BALAN WONDERWORLD demo on the Nintendo Switch, and it's really bad. He writes how it's everything wrong with 3D platformers.
  2. Abandon Ship! Not a Projectile? Excluded from the Ballistic Barrage Event Tourney!? — In certain circumstances, KoopaTV is a fighter of injustice. This article is about the blatant inequality of how Super Smash Bros. Ultimate characterises what is and what is not a projectile.
  3. VIDEO of Nintendo Cloning Human Earth Girls?! — This may seem like a minor thing now, but this is Earth-changing stuff. Clones in the human world. ...With technology from (or at least showcased by) a videogame company.
  4. Bowser's Shulk-Bash Backslash Backlash — The Koopa reaction to Mythra and Pyra coming to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... revenge on Shulk!
  5. What I Think About the Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY Debut Demo (Survey Q&A) — If you wanted to know about the Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY demo, or its survey, this is the article for you. It's a promising strategy RPG experience!

There's probably something to be said that the month started with a harsh look at a SQUARE ENIX game demo, and ended with a relatively positive look at another SQUARE ENIX game demo.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of February 2021


The thing that's a bit different with talk radio—and KoopaTV—in terms of one-to-many communication is that we do get to hear back from you guys as opposed to talking into the void and hoping people are listening. They get callers. We get commenters. Here were the three best comments on KoopaTV made in February 2021 in chronological order, as decided by me:
  1. “The Goomba Genocide continues to be the deadliest historical crisis in the history of both the Koopa and Mushroom(land) Kingdoms. Mario and his enablers continue to kill as many Goombas and Koopas under the pretense of "saving the Princess". They must all be arrested for and convicted of the many genocides they committed. Justice for all fellow Goombas, Koopas, and all of the Koopa Kingdom's people! Death penalty for Mario the Tyrant!” — Mr. Goombule
  2. “Lego ideas has got to be one of the smartest company choices ever. They are literally guaranteed sales in nearly all aspects. Even if only the 10,000 people who wanted the set bought it, I'm sure they could still make money off it considering many of the building pieces are already in production. Especially if it's not a licensed product. While i'm not too into sonic, i'd totally buy a kirby lego set. Especially if they make a lego Dedede.” — Captain Stitch
  3. “I'm definitely excited! Pokémon lore fascinates me, especially stuff about Legendary Pokémon, so this new prequel game looks super interesting. Plus, we're getting an open-world Pokémon game! How cool is that?” — SylveonGirl700
Mr. Goombule gave a very passionate rallying cry in the comments, and I'm quite happy to boost its visibility in the newsletter. Meanwhile, I appreciate SylveonGirl700's enthusiasm for Pokémon Legends Arceus, as someone who doesn't like open-world games but still really likes Sinnoh lore.

As for Captain Stitch wanting a LEGO Kirby set, there is one going through the LEGO IDEAS voting system. Maybe you should support it? King Dedede's in it, too.


LEGO Ideas King Dedede Kirby's Dreamland buff masked
Check out the KIRBY - DREAM LAND KINGDOM LEGO IDEA here.


Here's the worst comment of February 2021, which is remarkably similar to the worst comment of January 2021:
  1. “As a company who is complicit in one ethnic cleansing, don't you think we should begin thinking about the Koopa Klean-up?

    It's just a little kleaning.” — Health
KoopaTV is continuing our anti-genocide stance, and we'll talk even more about that in the coming day(s). But I'll also note that Health is talking on behalf of Nintendo in his comment, which is inherently bizarre.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 36 RESULTS!


At the mid-round leaderboard last month, Lheticus Videre was at the top of the standings, priding himself on making worthy daily comments. So what's happened a month later? Here are the final standings for everyone with over ten points (which excludes a lot of people):
  1. Captain Stitch — 87 points — $10 Nintendo eShop card code
  2. Health — 46 points
  3. Lheticus Videre — 45 points
  4. sam — 31 points
  5. SylveonGirl700 — 17 points
  6. ShinyGirafarig — 16 points
  7. Samantha Lienhard — 16 points
...Yeah, I guess when you stop commenting, you're no longer gonna be in first place. Anyway, congratulations to Captain Stitch! Round 36's $10 prize is brought to you by ShadowGirl7. Check out and follow ShadowGirl7's Twitch channel here. She does a lot of Jackbox Party Pack streaming, as well as the occasional (not every Sunday) Nintendo Switch Sunday stream.


Announcing KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 37!


The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 37 has (already) started, as of the beginning of March 1, 2021! It's supposed to last until the end of April 2021, barring any cataclysmic events. Just like Round 36, the first-place winner will get a $10 (American) Nintendo eShop card code!

This one will be coming out of Kamek's funds as opposed to mine.


KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XXIX and KoopaTV Quiz Part XXIX Now Available!


Check out the forms and quizzes here. Yeah, Part 29. You'll have to get used to having at least three Xs for over a year, though when it gets near 40 it'll be all weird. Anyway, answering the first question on your name is now a mandatory question, to prevent people from skipping it by accident. And that's happened multiple times. These are generally fun to do, and help with your KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program scores.


Corrections Corner; February 2021


There were no on-site corrections by readers for KoopaTV content during the month of February 2021.

KoopaTV VS. China; February 2021


While we didn't really add to the anti-Chinese Communist Party library of KoopaTV content this month, there is some evidence we're banned from there. Multiple China firewall tests says www.koopatv.org is blocked in China, but those same tests don't think that koopatv.org (without the www.) is not blocked. However, in practice, https://koopatv.org redirects to https://www.koopatv.org, so that...should mean that we're banned from China and I can stop trying so hard and putting this in every newsletter section.

We actually got relatively a lot of page views from Hong Kong in February, and some from Taiwan as well. All of the Hong Kong views were in... the Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Logs. Not the, you know, articles dedicated to our Hong Kong freedom stance. Though those are more to educate Westerners on the topic.

The real meaning of all of this, of course, is that the Chinese Communist Party has recognised KoopaTV as a bastion of free speech—which goes in direct conflict with their suppressionist values. They can't let their citizens look at a free KoopaTV since we're a threat. So now after a year of actively trying, we're banished. It feels good.

With all of the stuff Nintendo executives are saying about how popular Ring Fit Adventure is in China, by the way, we actually are losing on a lot of potential page views by being a free speech website. It's totally worth it, though.




Unless your friends are situated in mainland China, you should help KoopaTV out by sharing articles to your friends and enemies! And help yourself out by subscribing to our article feed, so every new article goes to your email inbox. You won't regret it.


The January 2021 newsletter was pretty good. You should click this to read it.
The March 2021 newsletter came at a time of great uncertainty for KoopaTV. You'll want to read it.
Ludwig should've abolished the Roman numerals usage for the forms back when he suggested doing so in the February 2020 newsletter.
Here's KoopaTV discussing more genocides two days later.

6 comments :

  1. Congratulations on another month. I think we should be kinder to our friends in the East, though. They are not bad people.

    ReplyDelete
  2. All right! I pulled through and achieved success. I wonder if I should start saving up for Samus returns or KidIcarus Uprising. Either way I'm still glad to be here and Lheticus was right, those daily comments do matter. I wonder when the next sale will be, I doubt Nintendo cares about St.Patricks day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you want Nintendo games on discounts, E3 2021.

      For other publishers... I dunno, they'll put things on sale with any excuse.

      Delete

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