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Wednesday, September 29, 2021

FAKE NEWS Bloomberg Writes FAKE NEWS about a Nintendo Switch 4K that doesn't exist

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least the videogame company is quick to deny the FAKE NEWS.

Deep breath... deep breath... That's what Wii Fit Trainer is trying to teach me right now as I'm attempting to start writing this article... But it's just so incredibly infuriating.

Wii Fit Trainer Deep Breathing Ludwig Von Koopa gasping Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Quick recap to explain why I'm livid: For every year since 2018, Bloomberg News has been reporting that Nintendo has been working on and will release a “Nintendo Switch Pro” system. Eventually in early 2021, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg said this 4K-enabled Nintendo Switch with an OLED screen would be shown at or before E3 2021... which didn't happen. A lot of other media outlets repeated and expanded on Bloomberg's FAKE NEWS (that article provides a massive, comprehensive list), and the whole thing was a massive indictment on how untrustworthy and unreliable the media is. Eventually, Nintendo announced the Nintendo Switch (OLED model), which was definitely not the console that the FAKE NEWS outlets like Bloomberg were hyping up. As retaliation for being wrong on stories they made up, Bloomberg decided to publish some anti-Nintendo hit pieces. Days later, Nintendo's investor relations published a statement stating FAKE NEWS Bloomberg's hit piece was incorrect.

In a just world, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg—and their Japanese tech “journalist” Takashi Mochizuki—would shut up and bow out quietly. Perhaps even do the universe a favour and quit the profession. Unfortunately, FAKE NEWS Bloomberg/Mochizuki is back at it with an article titled “Developers Are Making Games for a Nintendo 4K Console That Doesn’t Exist”. While the headline is correct that a Nintendo 4K console does not exist, Takashi Mochizuki still cited anonymous sources saying that Nintendo could release a 4K Nintendo Switch as early as late 2022. In other words, they're still at it, citing how 11 developers (the only named one being social gaming developer Zynga, though no statement from a named person was obtained and Zynga has separately denied that they have 4K development kits) have received 4K-enabled Nintendo Switch software development kits.

Rather than waiting a few days, months, or not saying anything, Nintendo immediately (in around four hours) put out this statement:

Nintendo Co Ltd Japan Bloomberg 4K Switch report not true investors
Here's the archived source, in case you think the image was altered in any way.
Not that I'd give you a fake source like that. Unlike FAKE NEWS Bloomberg.

To ensure a correct understanding among investors, Nintendo has deemed FAKE NEWS Bloomberg's report “not true.” That's quite the direct and unequivocal statement by Japanese standards. Not only is there no 4K Switch, but there's no 4K Switch development kits. By the way, their report actually said they reached out to Nintendo, and the gaming company deemed the outlet's claims “inaccurate”. ...But they went through and published it anyway. FAKE NEWS Bloomberg was absolutely asking for being called out by Nintendo for the second time in around two months.

The FAKE NEWS Bloomberg report tried to save face by saying that it's entirely possible that there would never be a 4K Switch... or there could be... it's up to the company and anything could happen. But why have the report at all if that's the take? That adds nothing to anyone's understanding. The point was really the repeated editorialising about how Nintendo's system is at a “technical disadvantage” compared to their rivals, the PlayStation and the Xbox. Which, hey, that's been a thing Nintendo's (mostly) successfully dealt with for the past 15 years. That's not new either. But FAKE NEWS Bloomberg just wants to scare and influence the markets and investors against Nintendo out of petty vengeance. They want to negatively impact Nintendo Switch (OLED model) sales by having people wait for a nonexistent 4K hardware revision instead of buying a new Switch now (or starting October 8, 2021). We're past the point where I'd applaud Nintendo for having their next console successor not have 4K support solely for the purpose of sticking it to the media's insistence that it'll be there.

This is very déjà vu to the July article where Nintendo responded directly to FAKE NEWS Bloomberg. They haven't made that kind of statement again until today, with the same “journalist” at the same outlet. Again, it's incredibly unusual for Nintendo to make these kinds of statements. But it means FAKE NEWS Bloomberg has screwed up at least three times now on Nintendo Switch information in very recent memory.

An idiot might say, “when there's smoke, there's fire” and think that FAKE NEWS Bloomberg is onto something here. The real fire is from the FAKE NEWS arsonists making a complete mockery out of an occupation that should be about the truth, accuracy, and integrity... not these dumb hit pieces. FAKE NEWS Bloomberg isn't the only problem outlet, by the way. Other outlets that uncritically repeat FAKE NEWS Bloomberg are also a major threat to the standards that journalism ought to have, and you shouldn't trust anyone who trusts FAKE NEWS Bloomberg. KoopaTV certainly doesn't.

Ludwig had so many other topics to choose from that he would have written about tonight had FAKE NEWS Bloomberg not decided to keep publishing anti-Nintendo hitpieces, but reiterating that Bloomberg is FAKE NEWS will always take top priority. Popular acceptance of FAKE NEWS is an existential threat to KoopaTV. Comment if you don't think attaching FAKE NEWS to every mention of Bloomberg should be part of KoopaTV's style guide going forward.

KoopaTV continues to attach FAKE NEWS to mentions of Bloomberg in 2022, as its CEO leaves to make a new media outlet that will apparently tell the truth.


  1. It's like doubling down on fakery is the only card in some organization's deck, these days. Gee, it's almost as though some once-prominent figure popularized the strat in the game of life's meta, recently.


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