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Friday, November 9, 2018

Round 3 & 4 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Once this is done, there will be the Finals Division.

As of publishing, Round 2, Division 7 is still happening in the GameFAQs Character Battle X, which is the GameFAQs semi-frequent popularity contest about who the best videogame character is. (And if you want to know all about Round 2, click here.)

Vote here:

The main bracket began with 128 characters, but by the time Round 3 starts, it'll be down to 32 characters. Then for Round 4, it'll be 16 characters — Round 4 is alternatively known as the Divisional Finals.

After that, it's the final stretch of the contest: The Finals Division, where eight of the historically strongest characters battle the eight divisional winners. But that'll be covered in a later article.

Due to the scheduling of the contest (Round 3 has four battles in one day, and Round 4 has two battles per day), I'm grouping Round 3 and Round 4 in one article. That means you should check back to this article once the Divisional Finals happen to read my opinions about who should advance, and who I'm voting for. That's free DLC!

Round 3's Main Bracket

Division 1

(1) Dante
(4) Ganondorf

What do I have against Ganondorf? The dude isn't actually a character outside of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. He's about as interesting as King Dad in Paper Mario: Sticker Star in his usual appearances, which don't number much because he tends to show up as Beast Form Ganon. Ganon is the same character, I suppose, but if I start counting Ganon, then Ganondorf is a lot worse on average. Beast Form Ganon is even less interesting than King Dad in Paper Mario: Sticker Star, especially if you think about The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Calamity Ganon there is just some dark, non-threatening swirling mist. That's supposed to be a compelling character?

Now, it's not right to hide Dante's own failings as a character due to alter-egos. The Devil May Cry retellings where he's known as Donte is sort of disastrous for Dante's character design, but at least he has sort of the same-ish personality. And that's stronger than whatever Ganondorf has.

Ganondorf in The Wind Waker seems amazing because it contrasts with how little characterised Ganondorf is in any other appearance. It's relative. I mean, The Wind Waker is definitely better for it, but it's not like he's topping a top character list.

(3) Vivi

(10) Donkey Kong

Vivi over Donkey Kong? Wouldn't be the first time. Vivi beat Donkey Kong with 56% of the vote in 2004... and then Vivi beat Donkey Kong again with 56% of the vote in 2010.

Now, this article isn't about who I think will win, but who I'll vote for. And I'll vote for Vivi, because him and his Black Mage design is single-handedly responsible for me being enthusiastic about Final Fantasy IX coming to the Nintendo Switch. Vivi has a deep backstory that I don't want to spoil for myself. I suppose that's taking him being a great character as an article of faith, but I at least know Donkey Kong very well. He's a Koopa Kingdom trading partner. We import bananas.

I don't like the Donkey Kong Country series for Donkey Kong. I like it for his pals, like Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong. It took me over four years to write a “hey Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze got released” article, and that was really for Funky Kong. (And in that article, I claimed I'd dedicate an article to Funky Mode and I still never did.)

Donkey Kong? Pshaw.

Division 2

(1) Zero
(13) Wario

Wario is disgusting and it's a miracle of favourable bracket placement that he ever got this far. Zero is going to topple him. Easily.

(3) Yoshi
(7) Pikachu

At this point, I see Pikachu as a vote for Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and that isn't a vote I want to cast. Pikachu is also associated with that terrible Detective Pikachu game as well as tax collection. (Yoshi has nothing to do with that and that's a dumb meme that I won't comment further on.) Still...

I have a desire to join Team Rocket and kidnap that twerpy Pikachu. You know, just adding to the list of things I steal. But I also have kidnapped Yoshis before. And killed them. And eaten them. Scrumptious.

I don't know who'll win this. At the very least, Yoshi was sort of my favourite dude in Mario Party 2 & Mario Party 3? Guess I'll vote for him.

Division 3

(9) Pokémon Trainer Red
(4) Big Boss

If I were consistent and selecting characters based on depth, I'd probably go with Big Boss. Honestly, Red appearing in Pokémon: Let's Go and having that be marketed as a big deal (like Red appearing at the end of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon was marketed as a big deal) makes me want to vote against him out of protest.

You know what? I just convinced myself to vote for Big Boss. Yeah, I originally had Red bolded here, but I'll go with Big Boss even though I haven't ever played a Metal Gear Solid game.

(3) Alucard
(7) Kefka

I don't know which of Alucard or Kefka is considered to be a better-written character, but I do know that I wish Alucard was the playable Castlevania representative instead of a Belmont. I don't feel that way about Kefka vs. Cloud for Final Fantasy. (That goes to Vivi.)

In the end, I'm scared of clowns (especially racist clowns, though I don't know Kefka's views on that), and I have already voted for vampires in the past. Going with Alucard.

Division 4

(1) 2B
(4) Bowser

There is only so far watching Wendy O. Koopa stream NieR: Automata can take 2B. King Bowser Koopa is the only reason KoopaTV is able to exist. And, you know, he's my dad. I do not believe I need to explain why I'm voting for him.

(3) Phoenix Wright
(2) Kirby

It is absolutely amazing that Phoenix Wright managed to barely defeat Ike in Round 2. Unfortunately, he has pretty much no chance against the saviour of the universe, Kirby. And Phoenix Wright has pretty much no chance of getting into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as a DLC fighter.

Speaking of DLC, Kirby looks like he has some absolutely awesome stuff coming up for Kirby Star Allies. I think one of us will talk about that next week (reminder that the new KoopaTV publishing schedule is supposed to start next week!), but just to preview it... it goes really, really well with what's happening in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Still, Phoenix Wright's Season 2 anime is happening now. So far, it's really great! And, really, he's this site's favourite character. Might as well make him look a little better versus Kirby.

Division 5

(1) Squall Leonhart
(4) Zelda

Just to add a little to what I wrote for Ganondorf, Zelda's best appearance is from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. That counts herself and Tetra. I'd prefer Toon Zelda over what Zelda looks like in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, personally.

(11) Fox McCloud
(15) Aerith Gainsborough

Aerith's claim to fame is that she died. (Spoilers? Nah.) Fox McCloud's claim to fame is that his series got rebooted into garbage.

Well, no, Fox's claim to fame is that he's good (or the best) in all the Super Smash Bros. games. And he's a pain to fight. But at least he's not dead.

Division 6

(1) Geralt
(4) Bayonetta

Geralt of The Witcher managed to get this far by beating Rosalina and Simon Belmont. I don't know how much The Witcher has to do with witches, but now he's facing Bayonetta, who is a witch. I'll vote for her, because I'm concerned about what happens if Geralt gets too far. From a rally perspective.

(3) Auron
(10) Sub-Zero

These two are both here because they're cool, much like Auron's previous match against Vincent Valentine. Auron is cooler. He gets the vote.

Division 7

(1) Luigi
(13) Miles 'Tails' Prower

Tails and Luigi are... sort of similar to one another, aren't they? Anyway, Luigi already beat a guy named Miles (unfortunately for KoopaTV's Ace Attorney, it was Miles Edgeworth), but like before, I'll vote for Miles over Luigi.

(3) Tifa Lockheart
(2) Mega Man X

I want Mega Man X to win this division.

Division 8

(1) Sephiroth
(5) Amaterasu

I'll vote for Amaterasu because I really like Ōkami and I'm literally playing it while I write this. (5 Stray Beads left.)

(3) Ryu
(10) KOS-MOS

I'm pretty sure I like Ryu more than sexy robot. ...But I'm not sure.

Round 4 (Divisional Finals) Main Bracket

Forget headings. There are eight matches, one per division. You can work out who is in which division:

(4) Ganondorf
(3) Vivi

Vivi only really has one game to work off of (Final Fantasy IX), and a plethora of cameos. Plus, all the good-will he has from rocking the classic Black Mage design all the way back from the first Final Fantasy.

As I wrote in Round 3, Ganondorf has many other appearance factoring in, and for most of them, he's ugly and uninteresting. He's devoid of appeal. I'm not sure why anyone would be supporting Ganondorf at this point!

(1) Zero
(7) Pikachu

During Pikachu's match with Yoshi, the Detective Pikachu movie trailer released, garnering millions and millions of views. I already explained there is nothing good about Detective Pikachu — it's running on two things right now: Grotesque character designs (both human and Pokémon) and being a SAG-AFTRA plot to promote how important voice-acting is. That's as true for the movie as it is the game.

Meanwhile, based on his voice-acting in Mega Man X4, Zero represents the guy least interested in promoting a SAG-AFTRA scheme. He sounds genuinely terrible, but I like it. Zero's complex and interesting character shines through without resorting to voice-acting gimmicks.

All Pikachu is good for is getting kidnapped, which I'll seek out to do after I vote for Zero.

(9) Pokémon Trainer Red
(3) Alucard


(4) Bowser
(2) Kirby

Yeah, this is an incredibly stressful vote for me. King Bowser Koopa, is, of course, my father and the man that KoopaTV is dedicated to. (He also funds our operations and makes some really good meat.)

On the other claw, articles about Kirby are an incredible joy for me, and I've had a pretty guilty conscious about how I don't actually play enough of his games.

Obviously I'm still obligated to vote for King Bowser Koopa, but know that King Bowser, Phoenix Wright, and Kirby are my top three favourite characters in the entire contest, and Kirby effortlessly eliminated Mr. Wright in Round 3.

After this, all Bowser, all the time!

(4) Zelda
(15) Aerith Gainsborough

I dislike how strong Zelda was against Squall, but... I'm not going to vote for Aerith anyway.

Zelda got that strong because of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of a Wild, which I'm not a big fan of. In the end, turning The Legend of Zelda into an open-world experience was a mistake, so Ōkami was a lot better of an experience. Zelda will assuredly win this, so I'll have more time to rant about her later.

(1) Geralt
(3) Auron

Division 6 was the worst division in the whole bracket. I'm voting for Auron here, because Geralt got way too far beating lower-tier characters from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate!

(1) Luigi
(3) Tifa Lockheart

Tifa managed to defeat Mega Man X in Round 3 because of support she got from rallies in hentai sub-reddits. That's... admirable ingenuity, but it makes me uncomfortable about why other people like her.

Still, on KoopaTV, we anti-vote plumbers. So I'm pledging my vote to Tifa.

(1) Sephiroth
(3) Ryu

Sephiroth's going to end up winning. Good luck with that, Ryu!

You should be able to tell from the write-ups which match-ups are easier to persuade Ludwig about, and which ones are not. But you can try your best either way. You're also free to share who you are voting for!

The contest continues with the FINALS DIVISION. Click here for the article dedicated to the rest of the contest!


  1. Meanwhile I will vote for Red as a token of thanks for getting rid of that fake Disney character.

    1. Will you vote for KOS-MOS for beating Aqua, and Bayonetta for beating Riku?

    2. I wasn't encouraging it!
      Well, for Bayonetta vs. Geralt, yeah, please vote for her.

      I don't know about Ryu vs. KOS-MOS.


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