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Friday, July 8, 2016

If You Don't Have Any Preconceived Notions, It's Good!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Shigeru Miyamoto on Star Fox Zero, and probably the rest of his games.

According to an E3 2016 interview between two bad sources (double negative is a positive, right?), Game Informer magazine and Shigeru Miyamoto, Shigeru Miyamoto had this to say about Star Fox Zero
“I think personally Star Fox is a really fun game if you sit down and play it. I think, for example, an elementary school kid who plays it without any preconceived notions, I think it would be really fun for them. I think it’s also really, really fun for siblings to play it together.”
I didn't even know that Star Fox Zero had multiplayer. It's local co-operative where one player steers the Arwing with some controller, and the second shoots stuff with the GamePad.

I don't know if that's actually “really, really fun” or Miyamoto is just saying lies. From personal experience, having two players in one kart in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! is actually fun. The player in front drives, and the player in the back throws items. And you have to have real teamwork in that you both have to press Z at the same time to switch places — which you'd want to do if, say, the guy in front isn't holding an item and the guy in back is, and you want full ammunition. (Then you switch back, and the person in front can actually pass the item to the guy in back once the guy in back uses their item.) You need real-time communication! A local multiplayer game where you actually gotta talk to one another! Fun.

On the other hand, it could be like Super Mario Galaxy's local multiplayer co-op where some guy just throws pointless Star Bits. Star Fox Zero's multiplayer, on paper, sounds a lot more cohesive and co-operative than not. Though I'm not sure how much it makes sense in-game. In Mario-Kart Double Dash!!, the game's entire premise is having two people in one kart. In Super Mario Galaxy, that Luma that always follows the plumber is the Star Bit tosser. Star Fox Zero? This is the only in-game explanation given:

Star Fox Zero Co-op Play mode GamePad Player 2 shoot steer
But who is Player 2?!

So is Fox schizophrenic? Is there a stowaway inside the Arwing doing the steering? Or is it canonically auto-driving AI, much like what Tesla and other auto-makers are doing in America?

But this article should be about the majority part of Miyamoto's statement, not the total nonsense of forcing a co-op mode into Star Fox Zero.

Isn't it telling that Shigeru Miyamoto's example is an elementary schooler? Let's consider this: It's been ten years since the last new Star Fox game came out, and ELEVEN years since the last new Star Fox game that's worth playing came out. Today's elementary school children haven't had a Star Fox experience outside of playing as Fox, Falco, and maybe Wolf in Super Smash Bros.. ...And that doesn't count. (Neither does Star Fox 64 3D.)

Therefore, elementary school children would not have any preconceived notions about what a new Star Fox game is like. Unlike you middle schoolers on up. And, according to Miyamoto, it's these preconceived notions of the series in its glory days that are the reason you're just not appreciating Star Fox Zero!

I'm sure he has the same thing to say to anyone who hates Paper Mario: Sticker Star. Your preconceived notions of what an RPG series is supposed to be like are preventing you from enjoying this game without characters and story!

Pigma my beautiful reward Star Fox 64 Zero Wolf
At least Star Fox Zero has story and characters. It just happens to be the same one as Star Fox 64.

Here's the real trouble with Miyamoto's statement: You could say the preconceived notions bit about anything. If only people didn't have any preconceived notions about ethics, honesty, appropriate speech-decibel levels, and being a good person! Then Hillary Clinton would've been president eight years ago!

I think personally Colgate is a really scrumptious food if you sit down and eat it. I think, for example, an elementary school kid who eats it without any preconceived notions, I think it would be really yummy for them.

It's basically the idea that everyone is biased and being totally objective isn't really possible. And if it is, it's boring. For journalists, you try to limit your subjective thoughts and report the facts.

But for videogame players? Yeah, the whole point of releasing thousands of games a year (many times that if you count all of mobile gaming) is that every player has their own biases, preferences, and expectations going into a game. That's the whole basis of The Quantic Foundry's Quantic Lab project, which ultimately wants to figure out what motivates you to play a game and then recommend games to you based on that. You can be match-made according to your interests.

Who would be paired up to play with Star Fox Zero? Probably no one, especially since Quantic Foundry is strictly not for anyone under 13 years old. If the target market for Star Fox Zero are people under 10, then, y'know, you'll never get that match.

Keep going for that market, Miyamoto. At least it implies we'll have to wait another 10 years for the next Star Fox game.

Maybe the next Star Fox game will actually advance the story and characters (in a canon fashion), like Star Fox Assault. Who knows if Ludwig will be alive for it, though. What do you think of what Shigeru Miyamoto said? Should gamers judge games objectively on some theoretical level, and not based on their actual play experience?

How many generations will have to die out before we get another F-ZERO game? No one knows.


  1. Replies
    1. No problem.
      Give me ze points.

    2. You got one.

      If you want more, you'll have to actually read the article and have a relevant comment to it.


    4. (I get the impression you didn't read past the first picture.)

    5. I scrolled up from the comment section and started skimming. Double Dash!! caught my attention first.

    6. It caught your attention first, and then you kept reading the rest of it with Double-Dash!! on the back of your mind, right?

      ...doubt it.

    7. Of course I did! Your articles are so thrilling.

    8. Aw, thanks Charssie! You can get a Truth point for that.

      Wot'd you think of Colgate's food brand?

    9. I think it's stupid. I don't want to think about brushing my teeth and eating at the same time. That'd be a weird taste yo.

    10. You and your preconceived notions! You're the problem to Miyamoto!

      ...Good job having common sense.

    11. Atleast I click on these things and take time out of MY day to comment.

    12. My comments have more truth and levity then your entire articles.

    13. You claim not to read them!

      I'd like to see you try to write that sample article all by yourself.

    14. Fine, I'll forward it to the rest of the staff.

  2. I think he just means that people complaining about the gyro controls only did so because Youtubers and journalists kept whining about them for months.

    There's nothing actually wrong with them. In fact, I rather enjoyed them.

    1. Well, we gave all the context GameInformer did.

      If his whole thing was just defending the controls and not something based off of being an inferior iteration to previous Star Fox games, what's special in particular about elementary schoolers that would make them appreciate gyro controls?

      Because, believe me, most of that YouTuber audience are young kids. They may not follow journalists, but YouTubers are their celebrities.

  3. I was considering picking up Star Fox Zero at one point, but the reviews swayed me in the other direction. Besides that, the game seems too short to warrant a purchase.

  4. Confession: I ate actual toothpaste when I was a toddler or whenever my first memories are formed. I was never caught by my parents and eventually I stopped on my own. I guess I had some pica tendencies then.

    1. (I had to look up what pica is. Sounds un-scrumptious.)

      So you'd be fine with Colgate's food brands!
      Anything ellllse you ate? :o

    2. I apparently swallowed a penny. I don't remember actually eating it but I remember it came out the other end. Parents never knew about it either.

    3. ...ew.

      Was the toilet okay? ...Or the potty?


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