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Monday, July 11, 2016

Famous Dead People Privilege

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Dishonouring those who never had a chance to make it in the world. #AllFansMatter

Before E3 2016, way before, it was a no-brainer that Nintendo would have some sort of Satoru Iwata tribute. No one thinks that a tribute at The Game Awards 2015 (which was otherwise all sorts of awful) was good enough. Iwata died exactly one year ago, which should still be within the one-year statute of limitations to dedicate time in your E3 presentation to your widely-beloved former president. (It's not like anyone even knows who the current guy is.)

So, when Nintendo's E3 2016 rolled around for the first day, Reggie Fils-Aime shows up. Who got their tribute? “All the victims of the two tragic events of Orlando.” By name, Reggie only mentioned Christina Grimmie, who was supposed to come to Nintendo's E3 event.

After a brief moment of silence he cut to this trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which begins with the line “open your eyes”, as if the problem with all of the tragic victims is that they're just taking a very long nap:

Was Satoru Iwata mentioned once? In the whole E3? If he was, it was in the few hours at the end of Day 1 of Nintendo's covering The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild that we were too exhausted to cover. I think it's safe to say he wasn't mentioned.

What's going on? Instead of Satoru Iwata as they should've done, Nintendo gives tribute to someone I've never heard of just because she's famous, died the weekend before, and is at some level a The Legend of Zelda fan. The problems get worse (and start existing, if you don't see any yet) from there.

Petitions were created to have a character in a The Legend of Zelda game named after Christina Grimmie. Why? Because she died. And was a The Legend of Zelda fan. And because she was famous.

Same thing happened after Robin Williams died. The whole Nintendo fanbase was mourning that. Why did they care about him and not some other person who died? Because he was famous and named his daughter “Zelda”, which apparently sets him way above anyone else who died.

I call this “Famous Dead People Privilege.” There are probably a handful of Nintendo fans who die every day (that said, Xbox fans are more likely to be murder victims, according to me trying to find Facebook profiles of murder victims and seeing their Likes). You don't hear about them. I believe that #AllFansMatter, even fans of things like this:

People elevate the deaths of those who are famous over your everyday Joe. That's what drives people like George Zimmerman to constantly go into the news: Whenever Zimmerman dies, he'll trend on Twitter. He'll trend on Facebook. Everyone will talk about him. No one is likely to make a tribute about him at E3, but it's better than nothing. It's a very dangerous societal philosophy, and that's why I believe we need to believe that #AllFansMatter to remove the incentive for people to do dumb things like George Zimmerman.

Apparently, it's very easy for anyone even slightly famous to get the adoration and petition-making of Nintendo fans. Just have a little side-gimmick relating to Nintendo. Bam! It's like everyone's own brother died. (In the grand scheme of things, the name of your daughter falls under “a little side-gimmick.”)

Suppose I die soon. I better declare what I'm a fan of now, so people will write petitions to have me included in games.

Think of the following as a reverse-will. Instead of me giving you my assets after I die, you give me your assets after I die. What will I do with them? Nothing. I'll be dead. ...But I still want 'em:

  • I'm a major Ace Attorney fan. I want one of the dudes in a future Ace Attorney game to be named after me. ...Preferably not one of the murder victims, because that's kind of insensitive. You wouldn't want to offend the feelings of a dead guy, would you?
  • Punch-Out!! on the NX needs to happen. I want to be an audience member in the crowd.

    Punch-Out!! Wii Donkey Kong audience member crowd Soda Popinski
    If Donkey Kong (who's not even dead) gets to be honoured as a full-on fighter AND an audience member,
    can't I at least be the more humble of those?

  • I want “No More Heroes 3” to be on a Nintendo system. I also want it to exist. I want a shirt design modeled after me. Try not to have a copyright violation.
  • I request to never have an amiibo after me. I'm disturbed by the stuff they do with them.
  • I want to be a trainer in a Pokémon game. It could be a mainline RPG, or whatever continues the console battle-simulator series. I want a Staraptor and a Bouffalant. They're even both Normal types.

    Prince Ludwig Pokémon Trading Card Game Online
    I can look something like this.
    (My avatar at The Pokémon Company International's TCGO before I got banned forever.)

I think that's enough requests.

If I ever want to get mentioned in a future E3, I can't go out and die in July, August, or September. I think October, November, and December are also too soon. I need to die a lot closer to June before it starts. After all, Nintendo forgot about Iwata. He died in July. Instead, Nintendo honoured victims of a tragedy that JUST happened that all the other companies (besides Electronic Arts) already covered.

Honour your own president! I mean, literally the last words he said in public was that he was paying close attention to the (disastrous) feedback from Nintendo's E3 2015 presentation, so the next one (E3 2016) would be better. You can't acknowledge him at said event?

So, yes, I would rather have this hierarchy for mentions: Satoru Iwata at number one. Anyone else should have an equal chance of being mentioned. That chance should probably be zero, because there isn't really a place for that at an E3 press conference. Let me re-iterate: Anyone else should have an equal chance. Whether they're famous or not. Whether they're even Nintendo fans or not.

...Because All Lives Matter. Not just famous ones. A hypothetical six year old who choked on an amiibo is every bit as important as Christina Grimmie. Since everyone is important, might as well mention people who are (were) directly part of the company. ...Being Satoru Iwata.

So, because Nintendo didn't do it, we will:

Continue to rest in peace, Satoru Iwata. KoopaTV will continue making the world a better place. As we wrote last year in the best KoopaTV article of 2015,
In Iwata's honour, I swear that KoopaTV will continue Iwata's positivity and consistent laughter. We will laugh. You will laugh. Whether it be in parenthesis or out loud, we will laugh and enjoy each other's company and make a better world.

That's what Iwata would've wanted.” 

Did KoopaTV actually continue Iwata's positivity and consistent laughter? That's up to you. Let KoopaTV know in the comments and Feedback Forms. In the meantime, what do you feel about Nintendo's fans' tendencies to make petitions and only care about when people die when they have some kind of fringe connection to the company? Was it weird to you that Iwata wasn't mentioned at E3 2016? And what do you think about Ludwig's after-death reverse-will? Do you have one?

Hey, it looks like No More Heroes 3 might be on the Nintendo Switch after all, and Ludwig is still alive.
During E3 2017, there were no more tributes to victims of terrorist attacks, despite there being terrorist attacks.
Nintendo continues to believe that all fans don't matter, and apparently their country or race of origin is the determinant.


  1. I think you're just hating because they were Zelda fans.

    1. I think if you died, it should be as important to Nintendo as if Christina Grimmie died.

      Personally, I'd care more about your death on a personal level since I never heard of Christina Grimmie until her death. At least I know you.

    2. Harsh.
      After all we have been through you treat me like this.
      I read your article for once and what do I get? Hate and slander.

    3. (Regrettably.)
      Your target on me will not go unnoticed.

    4. ...
      You're the one who keeps wanting to be name-dropped in articles.

  2. I may not be famous in real life, but at least I am on KoopaTV. And really, can it get any better than that? I don't think so.

  3. I may or may not be famous in real life,that's none of your business, but atleast I can shitpost KoopaTV. And really, can it get any better than that? I don't think so.

  4. I wonder how many newborn girls are going to be named Callie or Marie.

    1. Wot's that have to do with anything? >_>
      Apparently Callie is derivative of "Caroline" and is already getting more popular without Splatoon's help. And her name means "beautiful".
      Marie apparently means "bitter". ...yeah. Been getting less popular over time.

    2. Marie originates from the Hebrew name Miriam which means bitter because she was born in the time of the Hebrew nation's slavery in Egypt. She is Moses' sister.

    3. Sorry for double posting. For the question "what does that have to do with anything?" that was in response to Robin William's naming his daughter after the princess in the Zelda franchise. SO I was saying how many will name after the Splatoon characters to be famous. Sean, Annie, Moe and Sheldon also work as normal names. Nintendo has the advantage of using regular names for their characters most of the time.

    4. I'm pretty happy that Callie and Marie are not only a pun together, but individually their name meanings are true to their characters. (Or, maybe the characters were written to match their names.)

      ...Ah, that (why you're posting this) makes sense.
      "Zelda" wasn't really a regular name, though. No one's gonna think naming a dude "Sean" is a reference. ("Sheldon" is gonna make people think of that shitty TV show.)

    5. I met two elderly ladies with the name Zelda and we can be sure they were not named after the character as they were from a time before video games existed.

      Callie's Japanese name is Aori which translate to Bigfin Reef Squid and Marie's Japanese name is Hotaru which translates to Firefly Squid. Now if they really are these species anthropomorphized or are just named in a way a pet cat is named "Tiger" is something to be considered.

    6. Zelda was once a popular name in those days. That's where the Princess came from.

      (Or a person.)

    7. I sort of share a common name with Sheldon. Sheldon's name can shorten to Shelly. The feminine version of "Shelly" comes from Michelle. I spell my name with an extra "e" though as "Shelley". At least I can say I share my name with one of the best characters in the Ace Attorney franchise.

      I do get tired of characters with shells sharing my name to make a pun that they have a shell. Sheldon gets a pass though for not being exactly "Shelly/Shelley." Shelly de Killer, though he uses shells as a motif, also gets a pass for not being a usual shelled creature that uses my name just for the pun aspect but is named "Shelly" for a different pun reason which is his calling cards.

    8. So you wouldn't like if a Koopa named their kid Shelly?

    9. If they spell it as "Shelley" instead I may be even happier and more forgiving. More people need to be exposed to that form of spelling.

    10. Team Aqua's Shelly disagrees.

    11. I need to admit, I have an anger issue when it comes to people misspelling my name. It is okay if other people use the more common spelling but my "ranting and raving" as they say in work really damaged me. I have resentment at my general doctor's place for spelling my name wrong on file.

      I have gotten this close to thinking about changing my name to the common spelling because barely anyone cares to spell my name the way I want it.

    12. I hate when people spell my name, too.
      Most people on Miiverse dunno how to spell Ludwig correctly. Awful.
      This dude spells it wrong in two different ways in his profile comment. GRAH.


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