Search KoopaTV!

Translate

Sunday, June 12, 2016

KoopaTV's Electronic Arts E3 2016 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Get the historically worst one out of the way.

It is the first live reaction log brought to you by KoopaTV for E3 2016! Wow! It's awesome to be doing this with y'all again, and for the first time ever, we start off with Electronic Arts.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, Rawk is himself, and Vortexica is breezinabout. We have some fun thoughts.

Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    Oh hey
    Twitch updated.
    Day -1
    Day 0
    Day 1
    Maybe next year we'll have a Day -2.

 RawkHawk2010 3:38 pm
    back
    someone somewhere asked what the difference between a kink and a fetish was
    someone replied "a kink is a feather, a fetish is the whole chicken."

 RawkHawk2010 3:43 pm
    has it started yet

 RawkHawk2010 3:50 pm
    WHERE YOU AT

 breezinabout@msn.com 3:50 pm
    Yo.

 RawkHawk2010 3:50 pm
    yo

 Nintendork 13 13 3:52 pm
    I'm here.
    Yo, Vortex.
    http://www.koopatv.org/2016/06/e3-week-2016-schedule.html
    I got the stream right on the page.

 breezinabout@msn.com 3:52 pm
    Oh, thanks.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:53 pm
    That's the best thing I've done all day.
    Not counting whatever the hell was going on in this Blast at 1 AM.
    Or 2 AM.

 breezinabout@msn.com 3:54 pm
    Gonna make myself some coffee and try to wake up a bit more before this starts.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    'kay.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    EA might put you back to sleep, though.

 RawkHawk2010 3:54 pm
    i got Dew

 Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    It's better than them being in the middle of Monday.

 RawkHawk2010 3:55 pm
    *in farmer voice* "DEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW-YYYYYYYYYY"

 Nintendork 13 13 3:55 pm
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Saa3BNDiuCo
    Will EA have anything better than Ace Attorney Anime with Rescue Girl?
    Taking bets.
    (crap I dropped a raisin)

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    Not taking bets!
    Kamek and Vortex can, though.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    If I remember correctly, the only thing we remotely like from these are Plants vs. Zombies?

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    Oh yeah.
    Was Garden Warfare 2014 or 2015?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    And I'd put Rescue Girl over this.

 RawkHawk2010 3:57 pm
    ...Or 2013?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:57 pm
    According to KoopaTV's search

 RawkHawk2010 3:57 pm
    These E3's are all running together.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:57 pm
    2013
    and 2015

 RawkHawk2010 3:57 pm
    Aha

 Nintendork 13 13 3:57 pm
    http://www.koopatv.org/2013/06/koopatvs-live-reactions-to-eas-e3-2013.html
    http://www.koopatv.org/2015/06/electronic-arts-e3-2015-live-reactions.html
    'cause there's a Garden Warfare 2.
    OH
    TWITCH HAS MUSIC

 RawkHawk2010 3:57 pm
    Can't hear it over the sound of this RESCUE GIRLING

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    It sounds like something from Super Mari0 64?

 breezinabout@msn.com 3:58 pm
    Is EA always the first conference?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    No.
    They're usually midday Monday.
    They went out of there way to be first on Sunday this year.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    I see it as a sign of "let's get the worst conference out first."

 RawkHawk2010 3:58 pm
    Sounds like something leading into dubstep

 breezinabout@msn.com 3:58 pm
    Yeah, I was gonna say, kinda getting EA of to a... fizzle with them.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    But they probably think they have something really cool.

 RawkHawk2010 3:58 pm
    Is dubstep still a thing?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:59 pm
    You said Robobot's OST is dubstep.

 RawkHawk2010 3:59 pm
    I mean in real life.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:59 pm
    I didn't know anyone listened to dubstep in real life.

 RawkHawk2010 3:59 pm
    They do.
    I've walked out of houses as a result.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:00 pm
    I thought it was a subversive Internet culture thing.

 RawkHawk2010 4:00 pm
    Someone started playing "DEADMAU5"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:00 pm
    Here's hoping EA has horses instead of cars this year.

 RawkHawk2010 4:00 pm
    Something about a mouse.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:00 pm
    They had that playing at THE GAME AWARDS

 RawkHawk2010 4:00 pm
    Pocket Card Jockey HD

 Nintendork 13 13 4:00 pm
    The Twitch is buffering. <_<
    IT's CRASHING EVERYTHING

 RawkHawk2010 4:01 pm
    Did Nintendo publish Pocket Card Jockey or was it like Tembo the Badass Elephant?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:01 pm
    INCLUDING AIM

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:01 pm
    <.<

 RawkHawk2010 4:01 pm
    YOUR FAULT
    I'M FINE

 Nintendork 13 13 4:01 pm
    It's back.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:01 pm
    All good my end!

 Nintendork 13 13 4:01 pm
    Now I'm probably behind by like 20 seconds.
    I won't know since it hasn't started.
    The music stopped.

 RawkHawk2010 4:02 pm
    it's still playing for me

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:02 pm
    Same.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:02 pm
    I'm gonna close Blogger. <_<
    And everything else besides AIM and the Twitch window.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:03 pm
    We haven't done a log since
    March?
    Haven't done a log with Rawk since
    um
    E3 2015.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:03 pm
    Yikes.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:03 pm
    http://www.koopatv.org/2015/06/nintendo-treehouse-fire-emblem-e3-ending.html

 RawkHawk2010 4:03 pm
    hell yeah
    "Nintendork 13 13 7:33 pm
        Is that your final reaction to E3 this year?
  
    RawkHawk2010 7:34 pm
        Sounds good!"
    (So yeah, no more bets.)

 Nintendork 13 13 4:04 pm
    Crap I dropped even more raisins.
    (...oh, yeah, you're scarred from those.)

 Nintendork 13 13 4:05 pm
    I have music playing on EA's thing.

 RawkHawk2010 4:06 pm
    I still have it and Rescue Girl playing simultaneously and it's starting to hurt.
    Dudes

 Nintendork 13 13 4:06 pm
    It...hurts?
    Do you need a Rescue Girl?
    You should get Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon so I can rescue you. =-O

 RawkHawk2010 4:06 pm
    Rescue Girl I feel could have been a #1 hit if it debuted in the actual real music world and not the Nintendo 3DS eShop.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:07 pm
    lol
    I'm sure Virt would be super happy to know that.

 RawkHawk2010 4:07 pm
    Both Rescue Girl and His World show how good music can be when melody is the priority.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:08 pm
    OH SHIT

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:08 pm
    Here we go.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:08 pm
    THERE'S PICTURE

 RawkHawk2010 4:08 pm
    If a song doesn't sound good as an instrumental, then it's not good!

 Nintendork 13 13 4:08 pm
    Rawk do you have the picture?
    VIDEO
    COUNTDOWN

 RawkHawk2010 4:08 pm
    nope

 Nintendork 13 13 4:08 pm
    uh you might wanna refresh or something
    COUNTDOWN IS AT PAST 0
    Flashing lights.
    "PLAY TO FEEL GIVE REBEL TO LIVE"
    "RULE WIN"

 RawkHawk2010 4:09 pm
    got it now

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:09 pm
    Those buzzwords.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:09 pm
    you might get seizures from this
    "IT'S TIME T OPLAY REBEL WIN TIME RULE EA PLAY"
    These words don't go together.

 RawkHawk2010 4:09 pm
    PHIL
    wait no
    nvm

 Nintendork 13 13 4:09 pm
    This guy isn't even lip-synced.
    Andrew Wilson, CEO of EA.

Andrew Wilson EA E3 2016 presentation CEO
Andrew Wilson on a weird background.


 RawkHawk2010 4:09 pm
    It's this French Bench.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:09 pm
    EA promises it's 60 minutes.
    Well, they're 8 minutes late.
    He claims he's inviting the media to play.

 RawkHawk2010 4:10 pm
    Courtney Svatek ‏@altermentality  6m6 minutes ago
    Half my feed is e3 and half is people talking about the shooting

 Nintendork 13 13 4:10 pm
    (Are we invited?)
    "EA Play is a global experience."
    Peter Moore in London?
    With "hundreds of our friends"
    wtf it's two conferences simultaneously

 RawkHawk2010 4:11 pm
    hundreds of muslims cheering
    HUNDREDS

 Nintendork 13 13 4:11 pm
    "600 of my best friends"
    "Chief Competition Officer"

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:11 pm
    lol, that was it?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:11 pm
    lol
    Star Wars, Mass Effect... EA Sports...

 Nintendork 13 13 4:11 pm
    "Competition and story."

 RawkHawk2010 4:11 pm
    "Battlefield 1"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:12 pm
    Story from EA Sports?

 RawkHawk2010 4:12 pm
    didn't battlefield 1 already happen

 Nintendork 13 13 4:12 pm
    So RPGs don't need characters and story but sports games do?

 RawkHawk2010 4:12 pm
    i think battlefield 1 already happened

 Nintendork 13 13 4:12 pm
    ...yeah it did, but so did the Xbox One.
    "Are there actually going to be ... horses" in Battlefield?
    HORSES
    "just a dickade ago"

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:13 pm
    ...

 RawkHawk2010 4:13 pm
    stream crashed

 Nintendork 13 13 4:13 pm
    cras--
    it's back
    He introduced some guy but we dunno who it is
    "Zampella"

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:13 pm
    Titanfall 2 now?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:13 pm
    "Vince Zampella" from Respawn Entertainment.

 RawkHawk2010 4:13 pm
    They got him off stage because he was breaking the stream.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:13 pm
    Zince Vampella?

 RawkHawk2010 4:14 pm
    That's worse than Reince Priebus!

 Nintendork 13 13 4:14 pm
    Titanfall 2 multiplayer.
    "Welcome back" says robotic narrator.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:14 pm
    I'd hope this has a longer shelf-life than the original Titanfall.
    Multiplayer for that is pretty dead these days.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:15 pm
    YOOO he just punched the guy on the ground like that
    reminded me of the re-enactment of Trayvon beating up Zimmerman.
    THE TITAN JUST ATE THE DUDE

 RawkHawk2010 4:15 pm
    http://i.imgur.com/V0NQ3uX.gif

 Nintendork 13 13 4:16 pm
    ya dat happened in the trailer
    "super...smooth...gameplay...th-that we always delivered"
    (not super-smooth presenting!)

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:16 pm
    Translation: "We're giving you everything in Titanfall 2 that you demanded in Titanfall 1!"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:16 pm
    "Now for the four people who didn't see the leak this morning"
    I'm one of those four people!

 RawkHawk2010 4:16 pm
    "i-i-i-i-i-iii-i-i-if" - Barack H. Obama

 Nintendork 13 13 4:17 pm
    Is that the Half-Life 2 protag?
    Gordon Freeman?

Titanfall 2 protagonist E3 2016 EA
Is that Gordon Freeman? By the way, he's the protagonist of both Half-Life and Half-Life 2.


 RawkHawk2010 4:17 pm
    is the half life 2 protag different from the half life 1 protag

 Nintendork 13 13 4:17 pm
    I dunno.
    Probably not.

 RawkHawk2010 4:17 pm
    this voice sounds like Dan Green's.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:18 pm
    ...Now that you mention it...

 RawkHawk2010 4:18 pm
    "METANG!"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:18 pm
    "Protocol 3.... protect the pilot."

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:18 pm
    I wasn't aware Titans in this series possessed AI... If that's even what's happening here with this narration.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:18 pm
    ...(That was such a long pause for something lame.)

 RawkHawk2010 4:18 pm
    I can't be the only one who heard "METANG!"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:18 pm
    I heard it.
    Though I always thought it was pronounced
    Meht-tung
    Not Meht-ang

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:19 pm
    UHHHHH

 RawkHawk2010 4:19 pm
    what the fuck

 Nintendork 13 13 4:19 pm
    Oh, NFL stuff.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:19 pm
    SPORTS

 RawkHawk2010 4:19 pm
    HHAHAHAHAHA
    what kind of segue was that

 Nintendork 13 13 4:19 pm
    With crappy rap music.

Madden NFL 17 E3 2016 trailer black football player celebrating
Well, this guy likes the crappy rap music.


 breezinabout@msn.com 4:19 pm
    TIME FOR A NAP

 RawkHawk2010 4:19 pm
    there was no pause

 Nintendork 13 13 4:20 pm
    "GAME ENGINE FOOTAGE"
    Peter Moore?
    I THOUGHT HE WAS IN LONDON
    WTF
    ?
    Oh. "Live from London"

 RawkHawk2010 4:20 pm
    sooooooo

 Nintendork 13 13 4:20 pm
    I thought he warped to Los Angeles.

 RawkHawk2010 4:20 pm
    did E3 move to London?

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:20 pm
    He's talking about Madden NFL... IN LONDON.

 RawkHawk2010 4:20 pm
    to evade potential gun violence?

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:20 pm
    No one cares, Peter!

 Nintendork 13 13 4:20 pm
    Talking about eSports.
    You care about FIFA!

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:21 pm
    Oh, hey I have one of those monitors they were using.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:21 pm
    "New approach to competitive gaming."

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:21 pm
    I don't care about FIFA... >.>

 Nintendork 13 13 4:21 pm
    "We want to make stars of ALL of our players!"

 RawkHawk2010 4:21 pm
    Only attachment I have to Fifa is that one Korean "Fly High song" from Fifa 2007

 Nintendork 13 13 4:21 pm
    Even scrubs?

 RawkHawk2010 4:21 pm
    Or whatever it was

 Nintendork 13 13 4:21 pm
    I thought all Brits cared about was FIFA!

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:21 pm
    Nah.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:21 pm
    (Same with every European)

 RawkHawk2010 4:22 pm
    is peter moore voting for trump

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:22 pm
    I'm not a big sports guy at all, really.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:22 pm
    "It all starts this week in Los Angeles!"

 RawkHawk2010 4:22 pm
    guess he can't if he's in london

 Nintendork 13 13 4:22 pm
    So why are they talking about this in London?

 RawkHawk2010 4:22 pm
    well, absentee ballots

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:22 pm
    exactly what I'd like to know.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:22 pm
    Trump isn't even allowed in London anymore.
    Or something.

 RawkHawk2010 4:22 pm
    DJ KRISPY KREME

 Nintendork 13 13 4:23 pm
    "Eric Problem Wright"

Madden NFL Live Eric Problem Wright interview
I'd be scared too. (Mr. Problem is the guy on the right.)


 RawkHawk2010 4:23 pm
    "Serious Mo"
    as opposed to "Mo Serious"

 RawkHawk2010 4:24 pm
    Serious Moe has a two-foot basketball hoop in his room

 Nintendork 13 13 4:24 pm
    "These would-be rivals are actually close friends."

 RawkHawk2010 4:24 pm
    Like, for toddlers.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:24 pm
    IT'S RIGGED

 RawkHawk2010 4:24 pm
    Did you see that?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:24 pm
    Who the hell is this guy?
    Dude has a fucking arm cast on.

Serious Moe Electronic Arts E3 2016 on stage crippled arm cast eSports
Well... good luck, I guess.


 RawkHawk2010 4:24 pm
    hahahahahaha

 Nintendork 13 13 4:24 pm
    SERIOUS MO

 RawkHawk2010 4:24 pm
    print screen plz

 Nintendork 13 13 4:24 pm
    HAS A CAST
    did
    "Didn't have my shoes tied, racing a friend"
    "Best of luck to you"

 RawkHawk2010 4:25 pm
    XD

 Nintendork 13 13 4:25 pm
    Are motion controls ableist?

 RawkHawk2010 4:25 pm
    "dont want you to fall off the stage"
    ala Carly Fiorina

 Nintendork 13 13 4:25 pm
    Back to London for some reason.

 RawkHawk2010 4:25 pm
    This is a weird conference.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:25 pm
    With all this green going on I keep thinking this is Microsoft's conference.

 RawkHawk2010 4:26 pm
    yeah

 Nintendork 13 13 4:26 pm
    Yeah.

 RawkHawk2010 4:26 pm
    that's why I was subconciously expecting Phil
    My man Capital P

 Nintendork 13 13 4:26 pm
    You never replied to poor Kody.

 RawkHawk2010 4:26 pm
    I'll get to him in a few weeks

 Nintendork 13 13 4:26 pm
    We're going back to California.
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 4:26 pm
    We're busy dudes.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:26 pm
    Aaron Flynn of BioWare.
    oh
    "Aaryn"
    The fuck kind of name is that?

 RawkHawk2010 4:27 pm
    is this this same fucking game with the endless space

 Nintendork 13 13 4:27 pm
    Aaryn Flynn.
    No that's No Man's Sky.

 RawkHawk2010 4:27 pm
    oh

 Nintendork 13 13 4:27 pm
    Totally different.
    That's made by an indie!

 RawkHawk2010 4:27 pm
    I feel like that was announced when I was 15.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:27 pm
    Though maybe that'll be something everyone else wants to copy.
    "All powered by Frostbyte"

 RawkHawk2010 4:28 pm
    powered by frostbite

 Nintendork 13 13 4:28 pm
    Is it bite or byte?
    'cause this dude is Aaryn.

 RawkHawk2010 4:28 pm
    beats me

 Nintendork 13 13 4:28 pm
    So I dunno if they just like putting 'y's in everything.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:28 pm
    Having never played a ME game, the premise of this one actually does appeal to me somewhat.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:29 pm
    "Teeming with alien life and civilisations"
    *rigging some creepy humanoid who smiles*

 RawkHawk2010 4:29 pm
    VEHICLES
    GIVE THEM TO ME

Mass Effect Andromeda EA E3 2016 trailer presentation descent fall off cliff
Yeah, we don't need you here anymore. Off you go!


 Nintendork 13 13 4:29 pm
    oh some dude just got dropped
    Mass Effect Andromeda

 RawkHawk2010 4:30 pm
    Jeb: "Please clap."

 Nintendork 13 13 4:30 pm
    I was waiting for the title card to say it 'cause I dunno how to spell Andromeda.
    "practical conversation about play"

 RawkHawk2010 4:30 pm
    This dude reminds me of Mark Cuban for some reason.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:30 pm
    Fashion sense?

 RawkHawk2010 4:30 pm
    and self-importance

 Nintendork 13 13 4:31 pm
    EA promising more "updates"/DLC.

 RawkHawk2010 4:31 pm
    stars wars battlefront

 Nintendork 13 13 4:31 pm
    Promoting Xbox One and PC.

 RawkHawk2010 4:31 pm
    Is Jareditton watching this?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:31 pm
    Probably why the colour scheme is so green.

 RawkHawk2010 4:31 pm
    CHARITY

 Nintendork 13 13 4:31 pm
    "New programme called "Play to Give" for charity."
    JAREDITTON

 RawkHawk2010 4:31 pm
    STAR WARS

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:31 pm
    EA promoting CHARITY?!

 Nintendork 13 13 4:31 pm
    YOU CAN GET MORE THAN JUST US WATCHING YOUR STREAM WITH THIS

 RawkHawk2010 4:31 pm
    THEY'RE STEALING HIS SHTICK

 Nintendork 13 13 4:32 pm
    (...Hm, yeah, why would EA promote charity?)
    "Celebrating strong female characters in Battlefield"
    oh
    That's why.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:32 pm
    Going back to Peter in London for FIFA.
    Peter looks pissed off.

 RawkHawk2010 4:33 pm
    I feel there's fake audience audio going out

 Nintendork 13 13 4:33 pm
    Maybe it's the lighting.

 RawkHawk2010 4:33 pm
    because this audience does not look enthused

 Nintendork 13 13 4:33 pm
    He's discussing football and apparently London did poorly last night.
    "Frostbite" no y

 RawkHawk2010 4:34 pm
    y u no frostbite

 Nintendork 13 13 4:34 pm
    Is this guy real
    or in-game?

 RawkHawk2010 4:34 pm
    is this the Black Panther from Captain America: Civil War?

 RawkHawk2010 4:35 pm
    cuz it sounds like him

Alex Hunter FIFA Electronic Arts E3 2016 on stage
Alex Hunter in real life...


 breezinabout@msn.com 4:35 pm
    *Snore*

 RawkHawk2010 4:35 pm
    "three lines on my chest"
    Yeah, OF COCAINE!

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:35 pm
    Pretentious rubbish.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:35 pm
    holy shit he ran away
    So is he Alex Hunter?

 RawkHawk2010 4:36 pm
    does this fifa game have a primary protagonist or something?
    cuz i actually kind of like that

Alex Hunter FIFA 17 Journey mode protagonist story characters Electronic Arts EA Sports
Alex Hunter in-game. Notice how his skin colour is whitewashed.


 Nintendork 13 13 4:36 pm
    They did say they have a story.
    (Unlike Sticker Star.)

 RawkHawk2010 4:36 pm
    FIFA is more pro-story than Paper Mario.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:37 pm
    That's... so, so sad.

 RawkHawk2010 4:37 pm
    Wow.
    Falco: "This is horrible."

 Nintendork 13 13 4:37 pm
    FIFA 17: The Journey

 RawkHawk2010 4:37 pm
    This audience is fake.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:37 pm
    That was actually kinda compelling to be honest.

 RawkHawk2010 4:38 pm
    The audio of them cheering literally FADED IN like a Windows Movie Maker sound clip set to...fade in.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:38 pm
    CHARACTERS
    DEPTH
    EMOTION

 RawkHawk2010 4:38 pm
    was that joe biden

 Nintendork 13 13 4:38 pm
    Those in-game managers looked like Romney

 RawkHawk2010 4:38 pm
    Joe Biden was already in Call of Duty: Ghosts

 Nintendork 13 13 4:38 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 4:38 pm
    Did Moore just say "that asshole"?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:38 pm
    "At the best CLHGHNGLUB at the world."

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:38 pm
    :O

 Nintendork 13 13 4:38 pm
    "These managers are the best! They're the best! Second-to-none!"
    Who is this dude?

 RawkHawk2010 4:39 pm
    is that richard dawkins

 Nintendork 13 13 4:39 pm
    No, Josay Marino

 RawkHawk2010 4:39 pm
    oh

 Nintendork 13 13 4:39 pm
    Or something.
    He's in the game.
    Joining "the EA family"
    A manager of Mancester United.
    He looks mad in-game.

 RawkHawk2010 4:39 pm
    In-game he looks like the Muslim London mayor.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:39 pm
    This reminds me of Reggie and the Ubisoft guy.
    With Zombi U
    "I like French food!"
    "You're scaring me, Reggie!"

 RawkHawk2010 4:40 pm
    Josey keeps staring at Peter's loins.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:40 pm
    I can't believe they got Mourinho on stage for this.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:40 pm
    ...Well I was off with the spelling.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:40 pm
    Doesn't he have anything better to do?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:41 pm
    "Okay we've shown you a lot today but we're not done!"
    They're 33 minutes in.

 RawkHawk2010 4:41 pm
    first aaryn
    now aaron

 Nintendork 13 13 4:41 pm
    "Aaron McHardy"
    A "Producer".
    Talking about pitches.

 RawkHawk2010 4:41 pm
    who's next, Aron?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:42 pm
    "We're bringing COMPLETE INNOVATION to the game!"
    I ran out of of raisins.
    This guy is not synced with this slideshow.
    "Manchester United"
    All of the players look depressed.

 RawkHawk2010 4:43 pm
    "Football...never changes."

EA Sports FIFA 17 cover art representative football soccer players
You don't get a prize if you can name all these dudes, though we cannot.


 Nintendork 13 13 4:44 pm
    Wait, this is totally different now.
    "Unravel"
    The yarn indie game.

 RawkHawk2010 4:44 pm
    "WE ARE GAMERS, DUH-DUH DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH!"

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:44 pm
    I don't like this lack of segues.
    Oh.
    This is the game from that nervous voodoo dev guy.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:45 pm
    Oh yeaaah.

 RawkHawk2010 4:45 pm
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua3bXFz0VHY

 Nintendork 13 13 4:45 pm
    "EA Originals programme"
    EA abducting indies and publishing their games.

 RawkHawk2010 4:45 pm
    where is plants vs. zombies

 Nintendork 13 13 4:46 pm
    Says the games "deserve" to be played.

 RawkHawk2010 4:46 pm
    wasn't there an E3 where we said EA had the best conference?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:46 pm
    "We want ALL the profit............... to go back to the hands of the developers."
    No.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:46 pm
    This nervous wreck made "Fe"
    From "Zoink"
    From Sweden.

 RawkHawk2010 4:47 pm
    what's koopatv's stance on "swedes"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:47 pm
    "It's a game without words" but still tells a story. (Miyamoto should learn?)

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:47 pm
    I'm fairly indifferent towards them.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:47 pm
    I don't have a stance on them.

 RawkHawk2010 4:47 pm
    me neither
    #Fair&Balanced

 Nintendork 13 13 4:47 pm
    The only general groups of people I have something against are the French.
    And the Mexicans.
    And the Russians.
    ..yeah I'll stop now.
    "The silent ones corrupt the forest"
    Silent Hillary?

Fe The Silent Ones Zoink art trailer
You can see Silent Hillary in the background if you look hard enough.


 RawkHawk2010 4:48 pm
    this game looks interesting but this dude's narration is ruining it

 Nintendork 13 13 4:49 pm
    ^

 RawkHawk2010 4:49 pm
    if anyone needs silence it's him

 Nintendork 13 13 4:49 pm
    lol
    Well they have a trailer.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:49 pm
    Nice music.

 RawkHawk2010 4:49 pm
    what if chrom sees #Fe trending and thinks it's a new Fire Emblem?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:49 pm
    This Swede would love if this trended!

 RawkHawk2010 4:50 pm
    this reminds me of Twilight Princess.
    The enemies

 Nintendork 13 13 4:50 pm
    It reminds me of Yooka-Laylee.
    To be honest.

 RawkHawk2010 4:50 pm
    They had the same Twilight markings
    yeah, dude looks like an evil Yooka

Fe logo Zoink Sweden indie game EA
Fe. Not to be confused with Fire Emblem. Or Iron.


 Nintendork 13 13 4:50 pm
    wtf no segue Star Wars

 RawkHawk2010 4:50 pm
    okay EA really needs to stop this shit

 Nintendork 13 13 4:50 pm
    "Jade Raymond"
    Totally ruined the mood set up by Fe.

 RawkHawk2010 4:51 pm
    Star Wars music just starts blaring, almost before the last trailer even had time to end
    It's like a YouTube Poop.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:51 pm
    "Let's break it down."

 RawkHawk2010 4:51 pm
    FRESH
    STAR WARS ISN'T FRESH ENOUGH FOR TODAY'S GAMERS

 Nintendork 13 13 4:52 pm
    "We're listening to our players"
    Woah she's going to 2018.
    SHE TALKS SO PRETENTIOUSLY
    And patronisingly.

 RawkHawk2010 4:52 pm
    this woman talks like Kat Timpf.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:52 pm
    Yeah but Kat does it ironically.

EA Electronic Arts Star Wars partnerships development studios DICE Motive BioWare Respawn Visceral Capital Games Jade Raymond
Go away, Jade Raymond!


 RawkHawk2010 4:53 pm
    I'd rather have that than Hillary Screech.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:53 pm
    jkgju
    THAT WOMAN'S NAME

 RawkHawk2010 4:53 pm
    what was it

 Nintendork 13 13 4:53 pm
    I HAVE NO IDEA
    IT WAS LONG AND FOREIGN

 RawkHawk2010 4:53 pm
    just call her Jeanne
    cuz that's basically who she was

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:54 pm
    dose Swedish names

 RawkHawk2010 4:54 pm
    GAMEPLAY-FIRST
    TOXIC GAMEPLAY-FIRST PHILOSOPHIES

 Nintendork 13 13 4:54 pm
    Those motion capture people look like they're having fun.
    Advertising Star Wars mobile.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:54 pm
    I've never even heard of Galaxy of heroes.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:55 pm
    Is it just a micro-transaction infested cow-clicker?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:55 pm
    Isn't that Star Wars move of like

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:55 pm
    'Course that's the impression I get.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:55 pm
    Twisting your body around and swinging
    really bad?
    You're exposing your back to the enemy.
    That Jade Raymond is back except in this trailer.
    She's talking a lot faster.
    Pre-recorded.

 RawkHawk2010 4:56 pm
    i wish donald would live-tweet E3

 Nintendork 13 13 4:56 pm
    "I never thought they were gonna bring MY Star Wars fantasy to life"
    Half of people's Star Wars fantasies are probably bad slash fiction.
    "One last game. Let's talk Battlefield 1. You might wonder why I'm up here again, hahaha."

 RawkHawk2010 4:56 pm
    "we were dreaming of conquering the world"

 RawkHawk2010 4:57 pm
    who names a kid "stig"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:57 pm
    Brits.

 RawkHawk2010 4:58 pm
    "You're gonna get us all killed!"

Battlefield 1 trailer Electronic Arts E3 2016 get us all killed bird trenches
Yeah, that low-quality bird is going to get you all killed.


 Nintendork 13 13 4:58 pm
    Bernie's bird gonna get them all killed.
    Huh?
    That's the trailer?

 RawkHawk2010 4:58 pm
    that was...not satisfying.

 Nintendork 13 13 4:58 pm
    That was dumb.

 breezinabout@msn.com 4:58 pm
    Well that was short, lol
    ???

 RawkHawk2010 4:59 pm
    "in just a bit"

 Nintendork 13 13 4:59 pm
    "Patrick Bach" general manager DICE.

 RawkHawk2010 4:59 pm
    what?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:59 pm
    Well why show that at all?!

 RawkHawk2010 4:59 pm
    Episodic E3 trailers?

 Nintendork 13 13 4:59 pm
    looool

 Nintendork 13 13 4:59 pm
    "We want the community to be part of this every step of the way."
    What, the audience votes on which trailer to show?

 RawkHawk2010 4:59 pm
    "Jose Sanchez"

 Nintendork 13 13 5:00 pm
    wtf
    MIKE TYSON?

Mike Tyson Battlefield 1 Electronic Arts E3 2016 presentation
Mike Tyson?! Is that really you?


 RawkHawk2010 5:00 pm
    um
    is that really him
    It looks like Mike Tyson reincarnated.
    Is that his kid?!
    what the fucl
    k
    What is he even doing here?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:01 pm
    I'm so confused.

 RawkHawk2010 5:01 pm
    There was absolutely no relevance.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:01 pm
    "Let's talk about destruction."
    Well that should be simple to understand, at least.

 RawkHawk2010 5:01 pm
    Well, good timing.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:01 pm
    Oh they stopped talking about destruction. Now about "Dynamic weather"
    Oh, now he's done talking about that.

 RawkHawk2010 5:01 pm
    "the ultimate vehicles"

 Nintendork 13 13 5:01 pm
    "The ULTIMATE vehicles. The BEHEMOTHS."

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:02 pm
    This guy needs to slow down just a bit. Keep truncating his words.
    "Battle 1"

 RawkHawk2010 5:02 pm
    I thought those red planes were scars on the zeppelin

 Nintendork 13 13 5:02 pm
    Launches October 21st worldwide.
    "You will experience destruction, weather, and vehicles and weapons!"

 RawkHawk2010 5:02 pm
    "Battlefield Insiders"
    Bernie would be repulsed.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:02 pm
    Trailer Episode 2.

 RawkHawk2010 5:02 pm
    (Think Bernie is watching this?)
    (Not like he has anything better to do.)

 Nintendork 13 13 5:02 pm
    WTF
    IT'S THE SAME TRAILER

 RawkHawk2010 5:02 pm
    LOL

 Nintendork 13 13 5:03 pm
    With Bernie Bird again.

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:03 pm
    LOL, the beginning is literally the same thing we just saw.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:03 pm
    Maybe the first time was an accident???

 RawkHawk2010 5:03 pm
    this music is bad
    MUSLIMS

 Nintendork 13 13 5:04 pm
    Those aren't jockeys.
    THOSE ARE MUSLIMS

Battlefield 1 horse-riding horses Arabs Muslims ISIS
Pocket Card Jockey's sequel, Pocket Card Muslims.


 RawkHawk2010 5:04 pm
    shouldn't they have at least called this "Battlefield One"?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:04 pm
    "That's our show."
    "We're here through midnight" in London.
    It's midnight in London in like two hours.

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:05 pm
    Yeah.
    Not long.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:05 pm
    "Thank you to everyone here in Los Angeles. And of course, in London as well."
    WHAT ABOUT THE DUDES AT HOME?
    HUH?
    DON'T WE GET THANKS? DICK.

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:06 pm
    Well that was fairly uneventful.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:06 pm
    It officially has...ended.
    At 5:06 PM.

 RawkHawk2010 5:06 pm
    A few funny moments but yeah.
    Not good.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:06 pm
    EA still doesn't know how to have a good presentation.

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:06 pm
    It didn't even last an hour.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:06 pm
    And this'll be the fourth EA E3 we've covered at KoopaTV!

 breezinabout@msn.com 5:06 pm
    Just short.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:06 pm
    And they were late.
    Well, Bethesda in  five hours.

 RawkHawk2010 5:08 pm
    wonder if anyone else died in that hour



We hoped you enjoyed our coverage of EA's E3 2016! Stay tuned later for more coverage, since E3 is just starting!


Here is the 2015 EA conference log!
Did you watch Jareditton's Star Wars charity stream? ...Nah, you probably didn't.
The next conference is Bethesda, right here.

4 comments :

  1. I wish they showed more of Andromeda. I expected to learn more about the story. And... gameplay. And everything. :/

    (I had a similar reaction to the part about bringing Star Wars fantasies to life. That could get really... AO-rated...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even remember what they showed of Mass Effect Andromeda right now. It doesn't really looking like I was paying much attention, though. (More preoccupied over Aaryn.) So it doesn't seem like they showed much of anything for that.

      (Thanks for confirming my thought process isn't totally out there. On this issue.)

      Delete
  2. I did not watch the stream, but it doesn't look like I missed anything special. I mean, what can you expect from EA? I hope that Bethesda's will be worth watching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The stream was entertaining for us on a “What was your funniest moment?” basis, as in, “What about EA's total lack of presentation abilities did we find amusing?”

      I hope Bethesda's will be worth watching, too.

      Or I'll dislike wasting my night on them. And the evening leading up to it.

      Delete

We embrace your comments. No CAPTCHA or identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot.