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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Euro Splatfest: Travel the World or Go Into Space?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - #TravelTuesday is trending on Twitter so it's timely.

Fortunately for creativity, lag, and community-building, it appears that not every future Splatoon Splatfest is going to be sponsored by some company. It also appears that not every Splatfest is going to be shared across countries. And, better yet, it appears that Europe can have original and somewhat decent Splatfest ideas!

Behold the theme for this weekend in Europe (wait...I hope they're not playing Splatoon during E3?):

Splatoon Splatfest European travel the world go into space Callie Marie

A word on what Marie said in the above screenshot: A holiday doesn't just refer to a “holy day”, but also travelling.

Anyway, only Europe is having a Splatfest this weekend. So while I am not officially joining a team, I would like to state my support for Team Travel The World. (Team World?) I have a few personal reasons why, and then I'd like to talk about Star Fox.

Let's make things clear: I don't go to space. I ride around in a Doomship and I can fly over the world I'm in, choosing to land at remote castles that I can turn into booby-trap infested dungeons while waiting to ambush plumbers that come my way. I don't build these castles myself, contrary to a lot of people's belief. I don't know anything about structural engineering or architecture. And I certainly don't have permanent residence in these places.

So I've seen a lot of the world in my travels, and never once did I think to myself in my whole life, “When I grow up, I wanna be an astronaut!” And that's why I wasn't in Super Mario Galaxy or Super Mario Galaxy 2. Bowser Jr. was in that phase of his life, though. He's since grown out of it.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 Bowser Jr. Boomsday Machine defeated explosion blasting off again
Shortly after the Boomsday Machine incident, Bowser Jr. wanted to become an Olympic Equestrian.
...That whole Rio Olympics was a nightmare, so now he thinks he can be a horse.

The world still surprises me with its natural wonders and beauties. It's a large one, alright. Too bad I'm not allowed in a lot of the kingdoms in it because of... unfriendly foreign relationships between those places and Koopa Kingdom. The only time I get to fly over those places is after we've conquered ‘em.

Therefore, I'd love to keep travelling the world. Space is for chumps. I have more evidence of this.

Compare Star Fox Adventures and Star Fox Zero. Now, Star Fox Adventures had the exquisitely detailed Dinosaur Planet (some call it “Sauria”), full of mysticism and beauty. Your time in the game is spent as Fox and Tricky traversing through this fantastic landscape. That's travelling the world.

Star Fox Adventures Tricky fetch play ball
Classic exploration moment: Playing ball with your EarthWalker for absolutely no reason

There were also weird flying intermissions in space that were filler and added as an afterthought just to halfheartedly prove to people that Star Fox Adventures is an actual Star Fox game.

Meanwhile, Star Fox Zero is a much more traditional Star Fox game, with huge space missions. You got the original squad back, you got your Arwing, the story is the same as Star Fox 64 (which is the same as Star Fox on the Super Nintendo) again. Get to it and go into space!

Star Fox Zero space mission environment background black empty boring
Behold the glories of space! In all of its...dark...empty...void...

I'm trying to say this: You see the above screenshot? All of the nothingness? That's going into space. You see space once, you see all there is. Oh, you might find a star somewhere. Or a planet. But if you land on that planet and explore its specific features, that's travelling the world. You gotta stick to looking at space if you choose Team Space. That means you're taking a 10,000 foot view (I'm not sure what the European metric equivalent of the expression is) of everything.

Once you're that high up, all of the details are left out. Without details, everything is... the same. That makes things boring.

Callie has a similar interpretation of Team Space as I do, by the way:

Splatoon Splatfest Callie space looks super boring Earth eat chips travel world
“No, I just think space looks super boring.”

There you have it. I like the entertainment of exploring a planet's details rather than going into space and seeing nothingness.

No, that doesn't contradict my decision for Team Plane over Team Car. I mentioned there that binoculars exist, and the sky has awesome scenery. There isn't really anything for space-to-surface vision, and as you saw above, space's scenery sucks.

One concession: The Inkling in the astronaut gear is cuter than the Inkling in the hiking gear. What if she's only into other astronauts? ...Nah, I'll leave her to the Russians.

KoopaTV's resident European doesn't even have a Wii U, so Ludwig writes this stuff instead with no actual skin in the game. Have fun with Splatfest this weekend, Europe! If you miss the Sunday events of E3 (given the companies, you won't be missing much), KoopaTV will keep you up-to-date!

Going to space requires either waking up early, or staying up late. Figure it out in the next Splatfest!


  1. We must consider risks as well. Traveling the world could put you in danger of wild animals, terrorists that decide to ruin popular destinations for everyone, locals that take advantage of you, other natural disasters. But at least you can still breathe air and have a possibility of surviving.

    One flaw in the space ship or space suit means it is all over for you and you succumb to the vacuum of space or you burn up in one of the planets or other heavenly bodies' atmosphere. And it looks painful for the former too if you look at the pictures.

    Also I have a personal fear of dying due to lack of air. I choked when I was younger and had no one to save me. I removed the blockage myself with my fingers because thankfully it was reachable but I will never forget the feeling of not being able to breathe.

    Also astronauts have to go through tons of strength training just to be in space in the first place And when they come back down to Earth they suffer through many things such as muscle atrophy and have to go through rehab for it. Also I don't think space travel is good for my fetus.

    This world has giraffes. That should be reason enough not to leave it. I hope one day to go to Kruger National Park in Africa to see giraffes in their own home. I plan to go to Japan and Australia with my husband and hopefully a child (at an age where memories are permanently formed) if things go well. I have been to a few European countries as well such as Spain and Italy. Also this may be domestic for my perspective but for my babymoon, I plan to go to California, my first time in the West Coast. I want to see the Monteray Bay Aquarium because they have live squid exhibits there (see SPlatoon is a good influence) and San Francisco has the Soda Popinski Bar (don't worry, I'm not drinking any alcohol during that time).

    I thought about if this topic is also good for an NA Splatfest and I think it might not be. Americans are stereotypically not interested in other countries (except Japan for the Weeaboos). My father is from Europe and my mother is from South America so they pushed me to love the idea of enjoying other cultures. NA would probably be overwhelmingly Team Space. The European Countries would probably be interested in traveling to each others countries in comparison so the teams would be split more evenly.

    1. ...Yeah, I would say that the risks of space travel are higher than the risk of world travel. At least with a data plan or something, you can communicate and send out an SOS if you're in trouble somewhere in the world.

      You're dead in space.

      Soda Popinski Bar is amazing. Looked at the Yelp reviews. Though, this is a review:

      “If you're looking for a place full of 25 year old douche bags, this is the place! Absolutely awful. Two guys PURPOSELY flooded the men's toilet (we witnessed it) which caused the ENTIRE bar to flood full of men's piss & who knows what else.”

      I don't know if NA would be overwhelmingly Team Space. USA has come a long way since the space race. Everyone laughed at Newt Gingrich's lunar colony, after all.

      I'm a world traveller but I'm against multiculturalism. ...Oh well.

    2. I'm not that interested in the human aspect of other countries but in nature, espcially the animals. So it is Kruger National Park in Africa, The Firefly Squid Museum in Japan (which if you reserve early enough you can go on a boat and see the firefly squids light up the ocean, otherwise you can see them in the museum but it is seasonal only), the Montery Bay Aquarium in California, the animals in Australia (I don't care if the animals are all out to get me, I rather take my chances with animals than with people, at least nonhuman and nondolphin animals kill for either food or defense) and some other locations I did not think of yet. I went to three different states just to feed and pet the giraffes.

      What is Aran Ryan doing in Soda Popinski's bar?

    3. What about the floating space aliens?!


    4. I am not sure what you are referring to.

    5. Well, animals are a big reason you're on Team World.

      But how about floating through outer space and seeing random aliens around?

    6. Are there Space Giraffes?

      The fear of lack of air will make me too anxious to enjoy going into space. So there's your answer.

    7. Maybe.
      Evolutionary theory says if there are giraffes in space, they'll adapt to it.

      Maybe you will, too.

    8. Not fast enough though. Space giraffes can abduct me and do all sorts of heinous experiments on me though.

    9. Yeah, you might not be able to get the adaptation.

      Maybe your baby.

      Hey, those heinous experiments might be beneficial.

    10. I found the Space Giraffes:

      They are called Sweet Beginnings Giraffe. I had ahorse doll I loved when I was young but when my family moved I could not find it any more. Then I found this plush and I thought it was a horse. Then I read the tag and said "Sweet Beginnings Giraffe" and I was hooked with giraffes ever since. The left most one is the original. The rest I bought on ebay. The company is Playskool.

      What sweet, adorable toys. Why did they ever discontinue it? I am going to give them to my future baby. That is if I don't continue to secretly embrace the plush myself after the baby is born.

  2. Traveling the world is the far superior option. There's so much to see and do, and it's much more cost-efficient. Besides, what's there in outer space that we can't normally see without a telescope? Aliens, you might say? Nope. I see plenty of those around here every day.

    1. “Aliens, you might say? Nope. I see plenty of those around here every day.”


  3. Replies
    1. It's not creative on your part to take what the highest bidder gives you.
      It's creative on your part to come up with something yourself.

      Similarly, it's not creative to just take what America did.


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