You know, I really like writing about Splatoon's Splatfests. They're usually interesting, or so dumb that we can make them interesting. They can make you think and answer deep philosophical questions that you usually wouldn't find discussed on a gaming website, but it's totally okay to talk about it as Gaming Commentary.
...But I really am disappointed with this crap idea...no, crap this-is-actually-being-done-the-weekend-after-this-one:
|Nintendo UK can't even get the capitalisation right on SpongeBob. ...And neither did I on my first attempt.|
That's right: Nintendo of America and Europe will be sharing a Splatfest: SpongeBob vs. Patrick from the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon. Meanwhile, Japan also has a Splatfest that weekend. Maybe I can talk about that without feeling shameful...
|...It's a 7-Eleven onigiri contest?|
No matter where you look in the world, Splatfest is sponsored by some corporation or another. No philosophy or preferences. It's not even a stupid thing like we'd get in the Everybody Votes Channel. It's product advertising and shallow market research. At least we had a Transformer write about the Autobots vs. Decepticons Splatfest. And at least the Pokémon Red vs. Blue/Green Splatfest was within Nintendo, and revealed that The Pokémon Company could be reasoned with. And I got pretty passionate about that Splatfest, too.
You want me to get passionate about onigiri? Especially from 7-Eleven? I'm sure a company would love for another company's fans to try to get excited and meme-ish with the first company.
C'mon, where's the jelly-filled doughnut option?
As for SpongeBob vs. Patrick? I really, really, don't care.
I'll vote for Patrick, if only because I like the Push it Somewhere Else Patrick meme. There was a really good one I saw in 2012 and I've been associating Patrick with that ever since.
Screw SpongeBob. I don't think Splatoon is sponge worthy, so let's go with Patrick Star.
(Thanks, Seinfeld! I wouldn't mind a George Costanza vs. Cosmo Kramer Splatfest...)
Ludwig didn't watch Nickelodean as a kid because he didn't have cable. Now he does, but it's mostly to watch Fox News. What a miserable guy he is. He watched a lot of The WB Television Network on his antenna TV.
Ludwig won't retroactively update the Splatfest results Excel charts he made a few weeks ago with the results of this Splatfest.