This week, select members of Koopa Kingdom's Olympics team, Team Koopa, are returning to Rio de Janeiro. I won't be among them. I am never, ever, EVER going to step foot in Brazil ever again. Or South America, for that matter.
Hopefully everyone is familiar with How Team Koopa Escaped Rio, KoopaTV's original non-fiction epic drama written over six parts. If you're not, click that hyperlink to read a very well-put-together table of contents. To recap, the gist is that back in March, Koopa Kingdom brought eight representatives to Rio de Janeiro to form Team Koopa, to attempt to win gold medals from teams such as Team Mario and Team Sonic. It was just a training session then, but we got stranded in Rio because I got the Zika Virus. Through fun adventures, we got out.
It's a training session this time, too, since the actual Rio 2016 Olympics don't begin until the start of August. Team Koopa will be training to coincide with Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games for Wii U, coming out June 24.
As I said, I'm not coming. Neither will Roy Koopa. Neither will Dry Bones. Team Koopa is now reduced to five members: King Bowser Koopa (now in every event), Bowser Jr. (now in every event), Larry Koopa (Equestrian only), Wendy O. Koopa (100m Freestyle Swimming only), and Dry Bowser (Javelin Throw only... I still don't know why he's different than actual Bowser). That means that while Wendy, Larry, and King-Dad-who-needs-Vaseline are retaining all of their responsibilities and gaining no more, Bowser Jr. and King Dad will be picking up the slack from everyone else going.
|Hey, Larry. Wanna compare horses in Pocket Card Jockey? I've been playing ALL NIGHT.|
Wondering what happened to those Deadly Six creeps? Or at least, the two we encountered back in Rio, Zazz and Zavok? They're back too. I don't know why.
|“Don't tell me you forgot about ol’ Zazz!”|
Anyway, Zazz and Zavok are the ones responsible for obliterating Rio de Janeiro International Airport Galeão. Or whatever the hell it's called. Hopefully if it gets rebuilt, they actually make it clear what that place's name is.
But, as a result of that, after we left, Rio de Janeiro has now declared a “financial disaster”, apparently their version of a bankruptcy. They're still hosting the Olympics, of course, but they don't have the money to do it. Zika is still there. And now Brazil's socialist president, Dilma Rousseff, has been impeached, and now her vice president, Michel Temer, is temporarily in power of Brazil. He'll be in charge during the Olympics.
Brazil is in serious trouble. So, why has part of Team Koopa returned? Well, let's just say that we might not be there to win. We might be there to be like John Kasich just to try to prevent other teams from winning outright, or we might be there to take advantage of the political turmoil like we've done in other parts of Earth. You all can figure it out.
|Rio de Janeiro is going to be full of walking skeletons at this rate.|
If we do annex Rio de Janeiro or the entire Brazil, though, I'm not the Koopa that'll be in charge. I've exited Brazil forever. Terrible country.
But, uh, you know what other place starting with BR needs to be involved with an exit?
Well, it's BRITAIN. Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Anyway, Britain is having its Brexit vote today (June 23rd, and it's June 23rd in the United Kingdom right now), where they're voting on a referendum to leave or stay within the European Union. Vortexica spent a whole article an entire year ago about trying to get this referendum to happen. (I see in the footer he promised to write an article this year after the referendum actually happens, and I've heard him say in our [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast it'll be published on Friday!)
Anyway, it's very much a hot-button issue in the United Kingdom right now. And my endorsement for our group of UK readers? Get out.
Or, for the American version:
By the way. In case you're wondering: Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games for Wii U is terrible. Don't get it.
All screenshots used in this article from Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games are from this BeardBear video. Thanks for the footage! Ludwig wants to stay out of Brazil, and he wants Britain to stay out of the European Union.
Ludwig originally outlined Team Koopa's positions here back for Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games for 3DS.
And now, time for Vortexica to write about the REAL Brexit and his feelings about it.
The rest of Team Koopa dissolves the night before the Olympics begin, officially ending Team Koopa.