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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Vampires vs. Werewolves?! Splatoon 2 Halloween Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Civilised bloodsuckers vs. unsightly monsters.

After what feels like a while, we finally have another Splatoon 2 Splatfest to talk about! This will be the last Splatfest before that idiotic, useless day at the end of this month, so Nintendo figured to make this Splatfest a choice between two scary things that could kill you. (But then again, what can't kill you flimsy humans?)

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Vampires Werewolves news announcement Pearl Marina
It's Vampires vs. Werewolves, this Saturday! (October 14 to October 15.)
The vampire boy has a cool cape, while the werewolf boy is some loser in a fursuit and four eyes.

Am I on Team Vampire or Team Werewolf? Which should you be, as a Koopa-loving minion-to-be? Well, there's Koopa-related history with both vampires and werewolves... at the same time:

Count Koopula wereturtles werekoopas vampire King Koopa Super Mario Bros. Super Show
It's Count Koopula (vampire) surrounded by Wereturtle minions (werewolf)!
With the combined power of both teams, the Mario Brothers have no chance!

My instinct on this one is to side with Team Vampire. I mean... vampires are just all-around cooler than werewolves. Since King Koopa decided to affiliate with the vampire and leave any werewolf representation to his minions, then it's obvious that Team Vampire represents a higher, more civilised class of shapeshifting lifeform.

In terms of the Splatoon 2 banter between Pearl and Marina, Pearl picks up on this line of logic by deeming vampires to be sophisticated, civilized beings. I mean, clearly vampires are more sophisticated. Vampires have capes and fancy clothes — meanwhile, I already bashed the costumed fursuits of werewolves.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Team Vampire Werewolves Pearl eat steak drink blood civilized beings
Vampires drink the juice inside of steak like civilized beings.

I don't exactly support vampires or werewolves consuming steak, or steak being produced to begin with. (You didn't see me ordering any Tsareena-stomped steak at King Bowser's Cook-Out!!!) But at least vampires retain as much as what was left of the bovine as possible. That's totally unlike the savage werewolves.

Marina doesn't even really present an argument for werewolves. She doesn't even get a close-up zoom like Pearl does.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Team Vampires Werewolves mindless slobbery dogs zero sophistication Pearl
Werewolves eat steak straight from the source, because they are mindless DOGS. And cats are better than dogs.

To recap: Vampires have better class. They're cooler. They look better. They're smarter.

Vampires also have far more impact on the videogame industry compared to what little werewolves have done for gaming. You got the whole Castlevania series and more on one side, and then you have, what, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for Team Werewolf? Sonic Unleashed with its Werehog abomination? Of course Team Vampire is better.

The previous Splatfest we had was Team Flight vs. Team Invisibility. I was a Team Flight supporter. You know which of Team Vampire or Team Werewolf synergises with that choice? That's right. Vampires can transform into bats, and bats fly.

Count Koopula bat vampire Super Mario Bros. Super Show King Koopa
I'll leave you with this fantastic picture of King Dad taking flight.

Ludwig is somewhat aware that there is some fan-art out there of him as a vampire. He doesn't know if there is any fan-art of him as a werewolf, and he hopes there isn't any. Do you support Ludwig's pro-vampire stance? Let KoopaTV know in the comments section, and don't forget to participate in the Splatfest!

The first Splatoon game's sort-of Halloween Splatfest was Pirates vs. Ninjas. Click here to read Ludwig's write-up of that!
A month later brings the next Splatoon 2 Splatfest: Team Science Fiction vs. Team Fantasy!
Next year there is an actual Halloween Splatfest that references that it is a Halloween Splatfest.


  1. I am on Team Vampires, but mainly because of what werewolves represent. While some may be Twilight/Harry Pottee fans, most werewolves could come from the furry community.

    I remember that there was once a war between the furries and the normies on Splatoon 2, and I'm glad I couldn't be a part of it during that period.

    Anyway, I'm Team Vampires, but mainly because I don't want to be associated as a furry.

    1. When I was writing this article, I was a bit afraid that KoopaTV might lose its furry fanbase readership. I consulted with a furry while writing it and she said it'd be okay.

      ...True story. >_>

      Anyway, I did more vampire-promoting than werewolf-bashing here, so my Team Vampire membership is a positive vote!

  2. If you were a vampire, you'd probably look like this but much more menacing.

    1. ...I dunno, that's already horrifying and menacing.

      How do you humans live with those extra fingers?!

  3. I wanted to choose vampire because support Pearl, but I went with werewolves in the end because looking at awoo memes Awoomy popped in my head and then I clicked on a pic I forgot I had of an inkling with wolf ears, thus sealing my choice.

    1. ...Well, if that's how you make your choices...

      ...Then we'll be against one another on the splatterfield!

      ...Actually we might've been against one another anyway since Vampire is totally gonna win Popularity, right?


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