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Friday, November 2, 2018

Round 2 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It continues.

The biggest and most important of its kind, GameFAQs semi-rarely runs a big contest about best characters or best games. For 2018, it's Character Battle X, the tenth character contest. We've been keeping track of it in this index, but Round 1 is about to end as of publishing.

Many of my Round 1 picks have actually advanced to Round 2, which makes the decisions slightly more difficult than the fodder-filled Round 1. But in many cases, it's still a pretty easy pick. You can try to convince me one way or the other for my Round 2 picks below.

There are 32 matches in Round 2, and GameFAQs goes through 4 matches a day in Round 2. That means this article will be relatively short-lived, but no less impactful.

The Main Bracket

Division 1

(1) Dante
(9) Lightning

As I wrote in Round 1, Dante has quite a bit of goodwill with me. The only reason I'd want to vote for Final Fantasy XIII's Lightning, quite frankly, is that she looks kind of cute when she smiles. I'm pretty sure she has a resting scowl face, though, attributed to her personality. Not good!

(After writing this, there was a lightning storm outside my castle. Hm.)

(12) Chun-Li
(4) Ganondorf

Chun-Li hates the kidnapping of girls, while in Ganondorf's stand-out appearance in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, his whole plot is kidnapping every girl with pointy ears. As a representative of Koopa Kingdom, I'm far more in favour of Ganondorf than Chun-Li.

I'm not voting against Chun-Li on account for her freaky hair, because what the hell is up with Ganondorf's hair in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess? Men shouldn't have braided hair like that. That made him rather wretched in Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Smash Bros. For Wii U. (And it's used AGAIN in Diablo III!) Good thing that's changing for Ultimate!

(3) Vivi
(11) Aya Brea

This is another shoe-in victory for Vivi, but let me just say that his character design is impeccable.

(10) Donkey Kong
(2) Leon Kennedy

I'd like to mention that, back in the Nintendo 64 days, Donkey Kong was my main in Super Smash Bros. along with Jigglypuff. In the Mario Party games, I mained him and Yoshi, because I guess I have something against playing as a human. I guess I'll be playing as Donkey Kong in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate until Jigglypuff is unlocked.

I'm not really sure why I never played Resident Evil 4, but it's supposed to be one of the best games on the GameCube. You know, until it broke its exclusivity promise.

Division 2

(1) Zero
(9) Knuckles the Echidna

Both Zero and Knuckles are wallowing in being red Assist Trophies in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and both think that they deserve to be main characters. Knuckles doesn't, but Zero has a legitimate case for that. Zero might not know how to express himself properly when not knowing what he's fighting for, but Knuckles is a straight-up garbage rapper.

(12) Master Hand
(13) Wario

Why am I supporting Master Hand, who has no personality, over Wario, who is oozing (in an unhygienic fashion) with it? Well, the fact that Master Hand even got to round 2 is an amazing thing (the same could be said for Wario, however, for shutting down that Doki Doki Literature Club rally with ease). But... I feel like if I vote against Master Hand in favour of Wario, he might smite me or something. Especially after the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct yesterday. It doesn't feel like a safe choice to go with Wario.

(3) Yoshi
(6) Velvet Crowe

(7) Pikachu
(2) Kratos

Division 3

(1) Sora
(9) Pokémon Trainer Red

I don't like Generation 1, but that's not because of Red. Red's pretty legit.

(5) Crash Bandicoot
(4) Big Boss

Big Boss is a deep character with a lot of backstory and relevance and character design. Crash Bandicoot is a weirdly-grinning 90s platforming star.

(3) Alucard
(6) Yuna

Masahiro Sakurai trying to prevent Alucard from winning makes me want to vote for Alucard even more.

(7) Kefka
(15) Bomberman

Division 4

(1) 2B
(9) Ness

This decision was rather difficult for me, and this might be the easiest to dissuade me from. 2B had a lot of memorable personality in the time that KoopaTV hosted Wendy's stream of NieR Automata, like telling 9S to shut up.

We like EarthBound, but Ness (and the other party members) is one of the weakest parts of it. The playable characters don't ever really... express themselves. NPCs? Absolutely. Enemies too. But all we really have of Ness is that he says “Okay.” in Super Smash Bros. games. Games and characters aren't always equal!

(12) Charizard
(4) Bowser

This site is KoopaTV. Do I really need to explain this vote?

(3) Phoenix Wright
(6) Ike

Preferably, Phoenix Wright should win this entire contest. Like, every other article on this site tries to make an Ace Attorney reference, and much of it comes from Phoenix being amazing.

We like Ike, yeah, but let's consider this. Phoenix Wright at his worst, Hobo Phoenix in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, is many times better than Ike at his worst, which is Sword-Arm Ike in that disastrous Fire Emblem: Awakening. And Phoenix Wright at his best surpasses Ike at his best.

(10) Isaac
(2) Kirby

HI. Haha, Isaac is an Assist Trophy again.

Division 5

(1) Squall Leonhart
(8) Garrus Vakarian

(12) The Boss
(4) Zelda

(14) D.Va
(11) Fox McCloud

(10) Captain Toad
(15) Aerith Gainsborough

Rest in peace, Waluigi. Still not voting for a Toad.

Division 6

(1) Geralt
(9) Simon Belmont 

This Division is all kinds of bad, so let's just vote for the guy who is in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

(12) Pac-Man
(4) Bayonetta

Good job to Pac-Man for utterly destroying Sans. Now... go away.

I got a lot of attention for pointing to my Pac-Man and Hillary Clinton similarities article back from 2014 in the last round. Pac-Man was similar to Hillary in that they were both very old, known quantities that felt they were entitled to “their turn” to get in Super Smash Bros. or become president of the United States. They both have vastly superior spouses, too.

Meanwhile, Bayonetta and Hillary are similar in that both of them rigged an election — the Democrat Presidential Primaries, and the Super Smash Bros. Fighter Ballot. Of course, just like the comparison with Pac-Man, Hillary failed to actually achieve her end goal. Meanwhile, Bayonetta is queen of Super Smash Bros. 4 and has ruined the metagame, much like Hillary would have ruined the United States of America.

Still, comparisons aside, Bayonetta is a much better character than Pac-Man if you look at what they are like in their own game series. Does Pac-Man even have a personality?

(3) Auron
(11) Vincent Valentine

This is sort of the battle of who is the bigger badass in Final Fantasy, isn't it? Well, I think that's Auron. He stands out in Final Fantasy X in terms of that, anyway, while Vincent is one of many cool dudes in Final Fantasy VII.

Vincent Valentine is tied to Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, which was pretty bad and is the Shadow the Hedgehog of the Final Fantasy series.

(10) Sub-Zero
(15) Claire Redfield

Division 7

(1) Luigi
(8) Frog

Vote against plumber-caused genocide.

(5) Master Chief
(13) Miles 'Tails' Prower

Tails is annoying. Master Chief doesn't even have a personality. Who should I vote for? Probably Tails.

(3) Tifa Lockheart
(11) Mewtwo

Mewtwo is a fraud.

(10) Revolver Ocelot
(2) Mega Man X

Division 8

(1) Sephiroth
(9) Captain Falcon 

Show me your moves. I'm sort of worried about what I'll do in Round 3 if Captain Falcon actually wins his match, but I highly doubt he will.

(5) Amaterasu
(4) Lara Croft

I've basically gotten to the end of Ōkami, so yeah, I have a lot of positive feelings for Amaterasu. Certainly more than anything for Lara Croft, and I barely know how to spell her name.

(3) Ryu
(6) Commander Shepard

In the event King K. Rool actually wins his match against Shepard that's going on as of publishing, I'll edit this section. That doesn't look likely, though. In any case, screw Mass Effect.

(10) KOS-MOS
(2) Aqua

KOS-MOS is cuter than Aqua.

Feel free to convince Ludwig to change his votes or expand his opinion on any particular match. In Round 1, he actually did change his mind a couple of times based on reader feedback!

See the next two rounds of picks over here!


  1. Is it bad that I only really recognize about half of the characters in this bracket? I suppose I need to brush up more on the popular gaming franchises. I would love to see Phoenix Wright win it all, but I'm afraid the miracle will not happen.

    1. In Round 1, that's kinda bad but not terrible.

      At this point in Round 2, you should know quite a bit over half the characters. Most of the characters remaining are from Nintendo, Square, or CAPCOM franchises.

  2. I am hoping that Red wins over Sora and it will be a sign that no Soras will be getting in Super Smash bros Ultimate via DLC.

    1. Sora and Red are in a tight fight right now for the next 23 and a half hours!


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