Apparently, we need more than one Splatfest about condiments. You may remember the first official Splatoon 2 Splatfest was about Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup. I sided with Ketchup. Ketchup lost.
This time, the Splatfest for this weekend (November 17; I highly recommend participating in it instead of playing, or buying, a Pokémon: Let's Go game) is about Salsa vs. Guacamole, in a battle about which chip dip is superior.
|“What's your favorite chip dip? Salsa or guacamole?”|
Strangely, Pearl is siding with Salsa and Marina is siding with Guacamole. Yet in Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup, Pearl sided with Mayonnaise and Marina sided with Ketchup.
Reminder that Salsa is made from tomatoes. Guacamole is made from avocados. Mayonnaise is made from eggs. And ketchup is also made from tomatoes.
You'd think you'd keep siding with tomatoes for the consistency, but I suppose in terms of consistency, ketchup and salsa are quite... different. Unlike Pearl and Marina, however, I'm sticking with tomato-based condiments and I'm on Team Salsa. Quite frankly, I don't even remember what guacamole tastes like. But I know salsa very well. Because it's the only way I can effectively get something from chips. Observe:
|Ludwig with a giant bag of Kirkland Signature (Costco) corn chips, and a serving of Newman's Own Mango Salsa.|
(With a glass of milk making a cameo.)
Don't see the problem? Well, recall what my mouth looks like, as written about in this article about teeth. Chips are designed to be crunched with two sets of teeth, including back teeth. My mouth isn't designed for that. Maybe this zoom-in picture will help:
|One tooth on the top part of my mouth... Yeah...|
Given my circumstances, I double-dip my chips. Or even triple-dip them. Sometimes, I don't even try to eat the chip. I just lick the salsa off the chip. Some people have a big problem with that, so I make chips and dips a solitary affair. That, and I'm sort of self-conscious to begin with. See this Seinfeld clip for more information about chips and double-dips:
As for guacamole, I find it incredibly suspicious. As far as I can tell, it's the prime product of the Mexico-dominated avocado industry. It's shortened to “guac” to try to seem hip to non-Hispanic American Millennials or something. Seems like the type of thing that marketing departments have put a lot of investment into, but the product itself doesn't match the purported greatness. If I'm consuming mostly the dip and not the chip, for sure I want salsa over the likes of guacamole.
Regardless of which condiment you pick (salsa will win Popularity), please don't eat chips with condiments while playing videogames.
May this be Marina's first loss in the post-Version 4.00 Splatoon 2 Splatfest scoring system!
By the way, if you want even more things to do that don't involve playing Pokémon: Let's Go, maybe check out the GameFAQs Character Battle X? Tonight, they just started the Divisional Finals, so Ludwig has updated his coverage and voting selections for that entire round. Pikachu is up right now, so you should vote against it. Speaking of votes, will you vote for Team Salsa, or Team Guacamole? And do you have any advice for Ludwig's self-conscious consumption conundrum?
The Splatfest before this was Trick vs. Treat.
The next Splatfest is Heroes vs. Villains.