King Bowser's Cook-Out!!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're invited to this SCRUMPTIOUS event celebrating KoopaTV's fourth anniversary!

Well, would you look at the date? It's May 12, 2017! Remember when KoopaTV was founded? May 12, 2013. That makes today KoopaTV's fourth anniversary! WOW!

Rather than rehash what happened in the past 365 days — because how many times do you need to hear how incredible we are for influencing the United States presidential election, or for our incredible insightful and foresightful coverage of the Rio 2016 Olympics — we're going to assume you already know all that and just want to celebrate with us.

So, this year, we're holding...

King Bowser's Cook-Out!!

Yes, King Bowser Koopa himself is back for the benefit of KoopaTV, and he will be taking the guise of Chef King Bowser Koopa! Dig in!

Our invitation card, featuring the most handsome king in the universe.

We have three delectable menu items for today's celebration: 

Yoshi Kebab

Yoshi Kebab is one of Chef King Bowser Koopa's favourite dishes. First, he picks out which of the many caged Yoshis is ripe enough for consumption.

Yes, how about this one?

Afterwards, the Yoshi will be tied up, unable to resist what's coming next. That's good, because these are ferocious animals. Then, you just stick your fork into the Yoshi and Chef King Bowser Koopa will fry it for you!

Burning the Yoshi alive ensures maximum freshness!

Rotisserie Dedede

While it may have a long preparation time, we assure you that Rotisserie Dedede, inspired by Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, is some of the finest avian protein this side of Dream Land.

First, we place the Dedede inside of our other-dimensional oven, which itself is placed within a massive lava pit.

The entire Dedede is placed in the oven, posing for your amusement.

After an hour, out comes the finished product, already marinated by the Dedede's succulent robe:

We let the majority of the Dedede go to waste so we're serving you only the good parts!

Tsareena-Stomped Steak

Returning from its nomination as one of the best new characters of 2016, it's Steak!

(Video concept and editing by RawkHawk2010)

To tenderise this magnificent slab of meat, Chef King Bowser Koopa has enlisted the help of one of the best new Pokémon found in the Alola region, Tsareena! Tsareena is an expert in using Stomp to make guys and things go her way, and Steak definitely needs some domination. She's nicknamed Madame Loins.

For added flavour, Mario is included as seasoning.

Perhaps the best part of this dish is that not only do you not need two hands, you don't even need one! That means you can play two phones-worth of Super Mario Run at the same time! But, unfortunately for Mario, he won't be Running away from King Bowser's Cook-Out!!!


Please order one or more of the dishes in the comments section, and KoopaTV will serve it to you. And, best of all, it's free! Compliments of the chef! King Bowser's Cook-Out!! is sponsored by King Bowser's Scoopa Koopa business, and thus by Team Burgers. Also, please congratulate KoopaTV on its fourth anniversary, and KoopaTV will hope to give you four more years!


Perhaps all of the FIRE from last year's KoopaTV anniversary is being used for this year's cooking?
Madame Loins return to stomp out some FAKE NEWS.
Madame Loins also returns for KoopaTV's FIFTH anniversary, among other fruits.