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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Chris Christie

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's pretty obvious that Chris Christie is on Team Burgers.

Welcome to another edition of the strategy guides for KoopaTV's amazing browser-based Flash game, The Wonderful 1237! The Wonderful 1237 features seventeen unique minigames, all from each of the seventeen Republican presidential candidates you will be competing with.

(We had a brief break last week due to...important things to cover.) 

As explained in the Wonderful Wednesday article about those minigames, I'll be writing these strategy guides — one for each candidate, in a specific order. This one is about the guy who destroyed Marco Rubio, only to drop out of the race to serve as Donald Trump's henchman and lock-her-up chanter: Chris Christie. Unfortunately for Chris Christie, all of his servitude to Candidate Trump didn't help him in real life, and like real life, he is, on his own, a pretty weak candidate in The Wonderful 1237.

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:
Beauty: 0 + (1–2)
Cool: 0 + (0–3)
Cute: 1 + (0–3)
Smart: 0 + (0–2)
Tough: 0 + (0–5)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:
Beauty: 21
Cool: 21
Cute: 22
Smart: 14
Tough: 35

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:
Less than average likelihood. (Chris Christie will have 10 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)
The Wonderful 1237 Versus Chris Christie splash screen
“Versus CHR-R-R-R CHRIS CHRISTIE! ...Fight.”


Basic Information

Build a Burger.
Order a burger according to how your shadowy overlord wants it.
Approximate Time to Play:
About two and a half to four minutes.
Click on the phone keys.


Detailed Description:
A scary silhouette tells Chris Christie he would like to order a hamburger. He names a bun type, a cheese type, a patty type, a side, and five toppings. You, as Chris Christie, call a Build-a-Burger in order to input that order, in that order, by touching his phone keys in accordance to the robot voice. When you're done with the toppings, press 0 (on the phone) to complete the order. The robot will repeat itself until you've made a selection.

The Wonderful 1237 Chris Christie shadow black silhouette
I wonder who this guy could be...

The maximum score is 100%. Getting the bun, cheese, patty, and sides correct are 20% each (80% total) and are either correct (20%) or wrong (0%). For the five toppings, each correct topping is worth 4%. They may be input in any order.
Optimal Tactics:
The easiest way to do this is to cheat and just take a piece of paper and write down what the silhouette wants. Then, when its number comes up on the phone call, press it. Otherwise, you might be surprised at how well you can remember spoken things. The silhouette says each item pretty uniquely, so it sticks better in your head. The silhouette will also say the desired toppings in the same order they're presented in the phone call.
There are three possible buns, three possible cheeses, three possible patties, five possible sides, and eight possible toppings (of which five are picked). That means there are 7,560 (3 * 3 * 3 * 5 * 56) possible burgers!

Other Trivia

Skill(s) Tested:
Aural/echoic memory recall.
There was a story that came out about Chris Christie being turned into candidate Trump's McDonalds-fetching manservant. The idea was that some Republicans were willing to humiliate themselves by standing up for Trump and pledging their loyalty to him. In return, they would be rewarded if he actually won. Everyone that stood up for Trump during the campaign has gotten their reward... except for Chris Christie, who has absolutely no position or relevance in the new President Donald John Trump administration. That means he was getting burgers for nothing.
The actual Build a Burger menu in the game comes straight from Denny's.

Play The Minigame Here!

Build a Burger is the minigame with the biggest file size, thanks to its extensive voice-acting from the phone robot lady and the silhouette. Stay tuned for future strategy guides for the other candidates! If there is any more information you'd like to know, Ludwig would be happy to share it. Be sure to play the entire game!

JEB! Bush was the subject of the previous strategy guide.
The hiatus is BROKEN with the only female candidate.

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