Just a few days ago, Nintendo sent out a push notification to everyone who allows themselves to receive those on their Nintendo 3DS. It was about Team Kirby Clash Deluxe!
This free-to-play Kirby game is all the rage on the Nintendo eShop, and Nintendo just wanted to make sure everyone else got in the action. After all, it's a better experience when people on your Nintendo 3DS friends list are playing the game actively instead of just being stuck at Level 2 forever. (Looking at you, Ray and Nandin.)
However, this Nintendo-sent Team Kirby Clash Deluxe push notification made a variety of... duplicitous claims about the game's content and feature set.
|This Miiverse guy got the push notification and is wondering where the new challenge system is.|
(There is no new system. There is no update.)
There's poor people confused on Miiverse about this push notification, so let's clear the air about it. First, I transcribed the whole thing verbatim below.
“No matter what, each mighty role offers up a unique way to play. Puff up your power by crafting new weapons and spending materials at the shop to receive even MORE weapons, not to mention armor and items. Beyond the main game, there's also a ton of quests and a brand-new challenge system.
Plus, tapping compatible amiibo™ figures/accessories will earn you extra fragments to help craft new gear! Are you ready? For Kirby, the answer is always fight and flight.
To download this free game, tap the icon on your HOME Menu. A Nintendo Network ID is required.
ESRB Rating: Everything with Mild Fantasy Violence, Digital Purchases
If you would like to opt-out of receiving software and related notifications from Nintendo, please go to “Automatic Software Downloads” under “Internet Settings” for “SpotPass”.”
Let's talk about this “crafting”, because saying you can “craft” things is really in with the kids these days.
You don't craft anything. There's a shop (Magolor's Shoppe) where you can purchase items by giving him shiny fragments and Gem Apples. You don't make the items out of anything. There's no mystery in terms of what you'll get, and there's no grinding for materials, either. You get way more fragments than you need, and you can't grind for Gem Apples — just buy them or wait (or earn them in a total limited amount).
The only thing you can grind for is experience points, and if you want to do that, then check out my Team Kirby Clash Deluxe optimal tips and scoring spreadsheet here. I updated it with new tabs and scores, including a tab on my actual times for every boss, plus a list of the bosses’ experience-to-vigor in ascending order.
Anyway, no crafting. That's not mentioned in the instruction manual or in-game. It's a marketing buzzword. “Spend” materials is correct, though. You don't receive weapons in any other way than through purchasing them in the Shoppe. Nintendo already made a trailer for the game (see above) and their verb was “buy”, so whomever writes the copy for the trailers and whomever writes the copy for the push notifications aren't talking to one another.
For Kirby, the answer is NOT always “fight and flight” because the wait-to-play vigor system means that you will spend a lot of time waiting for time to pass, instead of fighting. That's certainly not “always” fighting.
|The push notification image claims there is a “DEMO AVAILABLE”, but there is no demo.|
The whole game is pretty much a demo for a minigame in Kirby Planet Robobot that you can pay for.
To address the Miiverse guy's concerns about “Beyond the main game, there's also a ton of quests and a brand-new challenge system.”
I wouldn't say the quests, also known as Heroic Missions, are “beyond the main game” because they sort of ARE the game, but let's give them that. Four quests per boss, though one of those is always “Defeat this boss!” There's also other Heroic Missions like “Reach Level 27.” or the impossible, “Try a wireless quest.” At least the music is nice in the wireless quest room.
But what the hell is the “brand-new challenge system” supposed to be? Brand-new to what? What are they even talking about? The poor Miiverse kid thought it was some kind of update to the game. There's nothing called a “challenge system” in the game. The quests are challenging, sure, but they're not called a challenge system and the quests already got lip service in the sentence.
Nintendo flat-out made a big feature up that does not exist and will not exist in the future. That's not good. SOMEONE'S gotta stand up to ‘em.
|This Miiverse user will forever be looking for where the new game mode is.|
Ludwig believes to have the highest score on Miiverse (and perhaps the world, but who knows?) in Team Kirby Clash Deluxe in single-player and without attack potions. It currently is at 114,975. Can you beat that? Ludwig believes that, because of his many hours of experience in Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, he is the best one positioned to evaluate Nintendo's marketing claims about the game.