Search KoopaTV!

Translate

Friday, July 7, 2017

CNN is MIFFED at a Donald Trump GIF!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How MIFFED will CNN get from a KoopaTV GIF? (Plus, KoopaTV PNGs!)

This week, something horrible happened that I simply cannot let pass without writing an article about it. It's the angriest I've gotten all month, even angrier than the indignation I had about no one at E3 giving a damn about the United Kingdom. Like, I'm legitimately pissed off, and not just satirically so. This week, CNN, a FAKE NEWS master, attacked and blackmailed an unsuspecting President Donald John Trump fan and is close to ruining his life. As unsuspecting President Donald John Trump fans ourselves, we take this threat to truth, levity, and free speech very seriously.

Let's start by going to the origin of what we're talking about: This week, President Donald John Trump posted his most retweeted tweet of all time, even more than the one he tweeted after the miracle happened
In this tweet, President Donald John Trump is bodyslamming a guy with a CNN logo for a head. This is based off of President Donald John Trump's actual wrestling experiences, as “actual” a wrestling experience can be. See, that's the whole joke. CNN is FAKE NEWS, and wrestling is a fake sport, and the actual body slam depicted is fake.

Like so many of KoopaTV's enemies, CNN doesn't understand humour. But in this article, my goal is to convince you that CNN is not just OUR enemy, but also YOUR enemy. So, how did CNN react?

CNN figured that President Donald John Trump and his team did not create the GIF by themselves. So they sent their crack team of investigators to track down who did. It turns out their hunch was correct, and they found a guy on Reddit named HanAssholeSolo who made the original version of the GIF. However, this GIF was a little different than what @realDonaldTrump shared, and the President's version has audio. Still, HanAssholeSolo created the concept of the GIF that made CNN the butt of a joke, and for that, CNN needed to get a pound of his flesh.

Does this offend you Don Lemon Tsareena stomp steak CNN gif violence Bowser Koopa
How about we serve a pound of CNN steak instead, with a side of (Don) Lemon?
...Courtesy of Madame Loins.

CNN tracked down the guy, getting his phone number, name, and probably his address. Upon contacting HanAssholeSolo, the Reddit troll broke down to CNN and apologised for all of his sins. He was terrified that CNN would dox him. In return for the apology and swearing off trolling in the future, CNN wrote this horrifying statement:
“CNN is not publishing "HanA**holeSolo's" name because he is a private citizen who has issued an extensive statement of apology, showed his remorse by saying he has taken down all his offending posts, and because he said he is not going to repeat this ugly behavior on social media again. In addition, he said his statement could serve as an example to others not to do the same.

CNN reserves the right to publish his identity should any of that change.”
That pretty much means that CNN is going to have investigators stalking this guy for the rest of his miserable life, and that if he dares make a joke or something off-colour ever again, BAM, CNN will pull the trigger and dox him. That's very chilling of free speech. CNN wants to make an example of this guy to stifle any criticism of their FAKE NEWS NETWORK. They're abusing their First Amendment privileges to try to abolish yours.

Since when is CNN the Internet police? Why can't they take a joke and shrug it off? Maybe use their investigating team to uncover evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians, instead of them making crap up about it?

As a result of CNN's blackmailing of HanAssholeSolo, the Internet is fighting back. Now there isn't just one anti-CNN GIF, but probably tens of thousands. Time will tell if CNN will either live with it, or try to shut down every single one. Well, we'll let you know at KoopaTV if they come after us. We can tell you right now, however, that Madame Loins (from the GIF above) is not afraid of being doxxed by CNN. Her information is already widely available online, including her name, photo, family, location, abilities, moves, and even her height and weight.

Still, we (the Internet) are up against a powerful multinational corporation with its own goons. Really, the biggest defender of freedom we have is the President himself, President Donald John Trump:

President Donald Trump CNN Statue of Liberty Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Dual Destinies Amazing Nine Tails Tenma Taro Jinxie meme
No one has thought of President Donald John Trump as a civil rights hero, but, hey, we're in some unpredictable times!
President Donald John Trump defending Liberty herself from the dark, demonic forces of CNN!

Yes, the administration of President Donald John Trump can help hit CNN where it really hurts: Their parent company, Time Warner is trying to merge with AT&T. The merger is being reviewed by the Justice Department, which could put a stop to it. But, besides that, the President is exposing continually how corrupt the mainstream media is.

It's not the duty of a news organisation to create the news. News organisations are supposed to report the news accurately and honestly. Then, opinion organisations like KoopaTV can use that sturdy base for telling people what to think, and entertainment organisations like KoopaTV can use that sturdy base for getting people to be amused by what's happening. Without that sturdy base, however, the whole thing is trite. Truth and levity cannot happen together if you don't know what the truth actually is, and if the truth is being distorted by FAKE NEWS, that's bad.

It's also not the duty of a news organisation to chill people's opinions and entertainment, which CNN has done. They deserve to completely fail in the marketplace. With the power of President Donald John Trump, hopefully that happens. Quickly. Before any more people get hurt or have their freedoms stifled by a so-called news organisation.

President Donald Trump The Amazing Nine-Tails Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Dual Destinies fox wrestler cutscene
You're the champion, President Donald John Trump!
You're knocking out freedom-killing ISIS in Round 1, then you'll knock out their freedom-killing friends at CNN in Round 2!

Also, we pray for HansAssholeSolo. He may have posted some gosh-awful things on the Internet (not the GIF, but some very low-brow content), but he still doesn't deserve what CNN is doing to him. Remember: Hate speech is still free speech, and one of the best parts of the Internet is to be able to post what you want anonymously. Do you think this website would exist without the protections and privacy the Internet affords us? We don't want that taken away, even if it means having to live with terrible jokes and very bad things being said about people. You can ignore bullies, and anyone who thinks that the wrestling GIF is a call to violence against journalists has totally lost rational reasoning.

...Besides, CNN's employees aren't journalists. Journalists don't specialise in creating FAKE NEWS. Journalists protect their sources, not try to destroy them.

But, I must say this, regarding FAKE NEWS: It's wrong that the folks who are rightfully against CNN are also creating some FAKE NEWS. This includes the president's son, Donald Trump Jr., who was spreading that HansAssholeSolo is only 15 years old. He's not. He's apparently middle-aged. A lot of other people took the idea that the guy is only 15 years old and spread it without trying to find the source for it. There was no actual source. It was made-up by an anonymous individual. If we're going to bash CNN for making stuff up via anonymous sources, then don't bash CNN by making stuff up via anonymous sources.


KoopaTV has put CNN on the top of its shit-list of sources you should stay away from. The order of that list doesn't reflect order of badness or anything, but KoopaTV assumes that whatever is on top gets viewed the most. That means these footers are presumably the most ignored content of any article. If you're reading this, please leave a comment about how you feel about CNN's anti-freedom, blackmailing behaviour. Just to be clear, one proper response (of many possible) from CNN would have been to make its own GIF about President Donald John Trump with their CNN logo. Another would be to ignore it. It isn't proper to use the resources of a multinational corporation to ruin the life of some random troll who spent an hour at most putting together a GIF on some crappy part of the Internet for a few laughs.


KoopaTV is (unfortunately) no stranger to writing articles based on @RealDonaldTrump tweets, such as this one on covfefe. 
If you would like to make GIFs featuring KoopaTV's logo, please go through the KoopaTV Logo Policy and the Official KoopaTV Logo Use Request form. CNN does not appear to have their own Logo Policy, making their logo fair game for GIFs.

6 comments :

  1. I've lost faith in CNN once they began covering the election and avoiding Hillary Rodham Clinton (not to mention neglecting talking about other Democratic and Republican canidates during the nomination).

    However, despite the many wrongs that CNN has done, I can't bring myself to trust Fox News either. They covered my High School and awarded them the High Five Trophy (Atlanta, you know)! It's just... very, very Pro-Trump.

    Of course, speaking of President Donald John Trump, he has NOT gone as low as CNN (CNN is pretty shady, so that's not a great bar to set standards). I have to give credit where credit is due, and despite attacking other TV Shows on Twitter, at least he has the decency to not track them down and force them to apologize (or expose their private life). For starters, CNN freaking revealed the sex of HansAssholeSolo during their identity statement:
    "CNN reserves the right to publish HIS identity should any of that change."

    On to the article, as someone who hasn't been paying attention to the #CNNBlackmail scandal, I appreciate you giving a rundown and summarizing what has happened before describing your thoughts. I'd dare say this is ten times better than CNN's "journalism," from a multi-million dollar corporation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun fact!: I had to watch MSNBC/CNN throughout the primaries due to Fox News pretending for months that President Donald John Trump didn't actually even exist. They knew 24/7 media coverage was trumping up President Donald John Trump's numbers substantially and they knew Little Marco's corporate dark money didn't like it. Then Chris Christie did the "there it is" thing and Roger Ailes did the "We can't do the Rubio thing anymore" thing and suddenly President Donald John Trump re-existed.

      Delete
    2. Well, it's as the old saying goes (more or less):
      "If you can't beat them, ignore them until they win and act like best buddies since the dawn of time."

      Delete
    3. I guess I'll take the time to respond to all three of these comments. >_>

      First of all, Fox News wasn't even mentioned in this article! We call that a straw man. That said, “They covered my High School and awarded them the High Five Trophy (Atlanta, you know)! It's just... very, very Pro-Trump.”
      Like, what? Are you talking about FOX 5 Atlanta? That's not "Fox News". That's a local channel, as a distinct identity than the cable news behemoth. (Owned and operated by the national organisation, though.) I wouldn't conflate your opinions of the two.

      Just, to be clear: CNN is billion+ dollars, and their parent has multi-billions. Many billions! Also, to give credit to CNN, our information for this article comes from them. (Well, it's ABOUT them, so...)

      Also, to Rawk's point: Fox News was showing many of Trump's rallies during this so-called Trump-did-not-exist yet phase, and he was getting many interviews on the network and they were relishing the feud between Megyn Kelly and Trump because it was good for ratings.

      According to Media Matters calculations — and they do nothing but watch Fox News all day and look for bad things to say about them — even during Trump's "boycott" and for the time up to Rubio being a disaster, Trump still got the most airtime out of any candidate every month:
      https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2016/02/01/donald-trump-amp-fox-news-timeline-of-a-relatio/208286

      Delete
  2. Although what they did was questionable, CNN did not dox the guy considering they just used public information in order to find him. Also, the person of the account explained on Reddit that CNN was not going to reveal his information and that he was not angry at the network. Unfortunately, the moderators of the subreddit deleted his comments and he later deleted his account. I think that it is important that the leader of the free world checks his sources and maybe stop attacking others on Twitter considering he has bigger things to tackle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right, they didn't dox the guy... yet.

      We at KoopaTV have read some of the back-and-forth from the CNN guy, and statements that HansAssholeSolo has supposedly made, and we figured that a lot of it isn't credible, equivalent to one of those forced confessions you might hear out of North Korea.

      That said, it took President Donald John Trump about one minute to post his tweet. He got a much greater return on investment in terms of accomplishing his agenda, which includes delegitimising fake news outlets that hurt America.

      (Though, we wish he spent that minute reading our Daylight Savings Time letter. We may resend it once he returns to America from the G-20.)

      Delete

We embrace your comments. No CAPTCHA or identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot.