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Sunday, June 9, 2013

EA at E3 and Dudebro Catering

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV can handle multiple movements at the same time!

You probably aren't wondering this (you should be), but now that KoopaTV has declared war on Electronic Arts past a mere boycott, we have two movements to juggle: This one and the Enlightenment Movement. Luckily, the two are absolutely compatible with one another and do not interfere in operations! 

You see, the goal of any war is to completely obliterate your enemy. Since our enemy is a corporation, the way to do this is for EA to post losses every year until shareholders get out of the company. Currently, EA is at a 52-week high in stock price, although what this means is that they've only just now gotten back up to where they were just at the start of The Great Recession. You know, AFTER it hit. Not where they were BEFORE it hit.

Competitor Activision (blue) is almost where they were BEFORE The Great Recession! EA (red) can't compare!

Here's a graph provided by EA itself of how poorly its stock is doing:

EA's stock is the bottom line that's waaaay below the other lines, which represents the overall market (and other technology stocks). $100 is the baseline — everyone else has gone up since 2008 by now except EA.

EA's revenues have also dropped since last year, so that's good. We're slowly getting there.

So why did I throw this financial stuff at you? As I said, the point of any war is to destroy the enemy, and EA needs its profits sucked dry so it can die, just like Elizabeth Brett. Is it a sign of desperation that they're killing their employees to keep costs low?

EA's revenue base is made up of "dudebro" games like FIFA and Madden. According to their Annual Report submitted to the SEC,
For fiscal year 2012, product revenue was $3,415 million, primarily driven by FIFA 12, Battlefield 3, and Madden NFL 12.
For fiscal year 2013, product revenue was $2,738 million, primarily driven by FIFA 13, Battlefield 3, and Madden NFL 13
See a trend there? At first glance, you might think those quotes are the same. But they're not. That's the problem. EA is promoting industry stagnation as part of its business strategy as it's slowly decreasing its net sales and game output.
We [are] significantly reducing the number of games that we produce to provide greater focus on our most promising intellectual properties. We published 36 primary packaged goods titles in fiscal year 2011, 22 in fiscal year 2012, 13 in fiscal year 2013, and in fiscal year 2014, we expect to release 11 major titles.
 Look at what EA is advertising what it'll show at E3 this year:
You'll get the first look at all-out multiplayer warfare from Battlefield 4, the latest from Need For Speed Rivals, more details from FIFA 14, Madden NFL 25, NBA LIVE and EA SPORTS UFC powered by EA SPORTS IGNITE, and other surprises.
Ideally, "other surprises" include the Madden Curse movie, but more importantly, they're hoping that for next year the product revenue will be "primarily driven by FIFA 14, Battlefield 4, and Madden NFL 25".

Anyone else think the dudebros will be confused on where Madden NFL 14 to 24 went? I'm not a dudebro and I'm confused. Regardless, these guys are stupid and buy things like the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One just to only play the latest FIFA or Call of Duty.

EA's E3 contribution: SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS!

And because they're stupid, we need to toss them out of the industry. For all of the people who bash Nintendo for its brilliant Wii/DS Blue Ocean strategy of bringing so-called "casual gamers" into the industry en masse, I'd rather have OctoG123 than the real "casual gamers", the dudebros who have been plaguing our industry for decades. They aren't capable of intellectual capacity. And because the Enlightenment Movement is an intellectual argument, we have to save the saveable and abandon the rest. Dudebros are not just saveable, they're enemies of even OUR enemies! They announce allegiances with evil companies like EA, and funnel those companies with revenue in order to further obliterate our industry into an innovation-less drooling shit.

We prefer the left. At least OctoG123 has nothing else to do except debate if Mario is evil.

How can you talk about the intricacies of the themes of, say, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn among a crowd of people who call themselves "gamers" when a large portion of the industry are these morons who are fine with everyone looking like Nathan Drake? And at least Naughty Dog's games HAVE characters. EA, from what I can tell, hasn't internally developed a character-driven franchise except for Dead Space. Speaking of which, EA also announced a movie on Dead Space that never went anywhere, this time from 2009. EA needs to stop doing this. I wonder if they killed anyone in the process of announcing that movie, too.

Not EA, but all they did was add a beard and Naughty Dog has a whole new series!

It's not clear on what the desirable cause-and-effect is, strategy-wise. Eliminate EA to get rid of the dudebros, or eliminate the dudebros to get rid of EA? They exist in a symbiotic relationship that is parasitic to the GOOD part of the videogame industry. If you have any ideas, let us know. 

What we do know is that we're in for another Crash if we stand idle. And if that happens, there's no more Electronic Entertainment Expo, Enlightenment Movement, or Electronic Arts.

We like those first two things too much to sacrifice them for the elimination of that last one.

Ludwig is active in the fight against Electronic Arts. You should be, too! Friend him on Facebook and Follow him on Miiverse, at Nintendo Network ID PrinceOfKoopas. While you're on Facebook, be sure to Like KoopaTV!

Madden NFL 15 went here.
There actually is an audience for Madden NFL besides dudebros.


  1. "EA, from what I can tell, hasn't internally developed a character-driven franchise except for Dead Space. Speaking of which, EA also announced a movie on Dead Space that never went anywhere, this time from 2009. EA needs to stop doing this. I wonder if they killed anyone in the process of announcing that movie, too."

    I'm going to admit that apparently no one cares about Dead Space or its characters, since Isaac Clarke is literally losing to Sandbag.


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