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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Suddenly I'm Not Excited for Yoshi on the 3DS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Can we get a vaccine already?

Back nearly a month ago, I wrote an article about why I was excited about seeing Yoshi's New Island (then only known as "Yoshi's Island 3DS") at E3. After all, Artoon was dissolved and inspiration was taken from the beautiful original game, and not Artoon's legion of bastardized derivations.

I then interviewed Nintendo on who was developing the new title. They did not know. Backed against a corner with E3 weeks away, it appears Nintendo has handed development of the title not internally, but to Arzest for release in 2014.

To those who don't know, Arzest was founded by former Artoon members. It appears that making Artoon the go-to company for making crappy Yoshi games wasn't enough for Nintendo — they had to take the now-bankrupt Artoon and make ITS bastardized derivation the company to develop more bastardized derivations. In short, Arzest is to Yoshi's Island DS as Artoon is to Yoshi's Island. While I don't like that analogy, it appears these incompetent Artoon/Arzest employees are inseparable from Yoshi.

Arzest is a mysterious company. If you look at their website there are nothing but pictures of big-breasted women. Additionally, two of its three key staffers have no pictures, as if they are ashamed of their history of terrible games that they do not want to be identified to the public.

My brimming confidence is gone now. I'll...still probably get the game. I just have seriously lowered expectations. At least the acronym is decent this time.

Follow Ludwig on Miiverse at NNID PrinceOfKoopas. He has lost all hype for this and has moved on to hyping up Dixie Kong's grand return.

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