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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Donning the Luigi Hat In Public

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yes, Luigi's hat gets an article here before the Smash 4 trailer does. Priorities.

 Apparently, some people took yesterday's article's message to be "Ludwig stole a hat from an official Nintendo representative". Allow me to explain, in detail, the full story.

There was a giant box full of Styrofoam Luigi hats brought in by the Nintendo rep. After you played the demo you signed up for on the sign-up sheet, you were allowed to take a hat and be off on your merry way. Three hours after the event started, it was my turn. I played Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze and finished the demo level. I turned to the box. There was only one Luigi hat inside. I took the hat. The Nintendo rep said that the hat was reserved for someone else, but she just sat there and watched — complacently — as I took the hat from out of the box and put it on my head. Why would the hat be reserved for anyone else? Either there were hats left or there weren't. The demos were completed one at a time. If there was still a hat left, then either someone didn't take their hat immediately after finishing the demo, or they "reserved" for when they were going to play sometime after I did. The former is fair game, and latter is cheating the system. That, or the Nintendo rep "reserved it" for her children or something, which is also unfair and/or stupid. I had the right to that hat! I earned it!

I didn't leave Best Buy immediately after I got the hat. I had to wait for my ride home. So we stuck around. I came there with one of my friends. That friend told me to put my earned hat inside my backpack, because, you know, in case the rep recognized me and wanted the hat back. I did that. Let me tell you about this particular friend. About a year ago, we were shopping at Staples for a moneybox. You know, to store cash in. There were two moneyboxes. One had a higher price than the other. The only difference were the colours and some wire to tie to something so the box wouldn't just be taken off wherever it was and walked away with. Interestingly enough, the label covering over the boxes was slip-off. This label included the bar-code that indicated the SKU #. We liked the colour of the cheaper box more and didn't care about the additional wire, but my friend, just for the sake of wanting to know if we could get away with it, swapped the paper label coverings from one product to another. We HAD the money to pay for the more expensive one anyway, but this was just... for the thrill. This was all his idea, by the way.

We got away with it. The cashier didn't have a clue, and we paid the cheaper box's price for the more expensive moneybox. Is this technically shoplifting? I don't know. But we basically got a "discount" on the box when we shouldn't have. ...I guess, just like getting a Luigi hat when I shouldn't have. As an aside, my friend didn't get a Luigi hat and he signed up right after me. Obviously this is because I took the very last hat for the whole day.

So besides putting the hat on my Kirby plushie, what could I do with it? I mean, if I went through all this trouble screwing someone else of the hat, I have to use it productively somehow, right?

I asked Rawk if I should wear the Luigi hat to class yesterday. He said,
    You might pick up some Luigi-digging chicks.
    Who are okay.
    Because they'll probably hate Mario.
So at the last moment I left my house with my Luigi hat on my head. Unintentionally (because the hat was a last-second decision and the last thing I put on myself), I wore a green-and-white shirt... so I kind of resembled Fire Luigi.
No mustache, overalls, gloves, and a green hat. Still.

Here are some reactions:
  • The public transportation ticket guy getting there asked what the "L" stood for. My first instinct was "loser" but I answered "Luigi". He proclaimed, "there we go!" Later, when he actually collected my ticket, he stated, "Yeah, Luigi of the Mario Bros. Took me 3 minutes to remember the name of the game but that's what it is!" A few minutes later, and for no professional reason, he came back to my seat and said, "'course when I started playing we had Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and Mrs. Pac-Man before we had Mario Bros." to which I simply murmured, "Dem '80s."
  • Someone in my class exclaimed, "Niiiice!" when I walked in. The professor didn't care one bit or comment at all.
  • After class I went to the dining hall. Outside that were two guys with a tent advertising an on-campus laundry service. One guy yelled, "HEY LUIGIIII!" Upon leaving the hall, he approached me again and said, "Seriously, like the hat!" He himself was wearing a hat, but it was for business.
  • Inside the nearby grocer, what appeared to be a manager and an employee were murmuring "Hey, is that Luigi? Or Mario? From Super Mario Bros. Remember him?" And someone else yelled another "HEY LUIGI!"
  • Taking my ride on public transportation back home, this amazing black couple saw me walk by. The girl said, "Really love your hat!" And the guy eloquently said, "Diggin' that passion with your shirt, too. Don't get hit or it'll go away!" He was clearly referencing Fire Luigi and how getting hit would remove the power-up. I flashed them a thumbs-up and departed.
  • Comically, my own dad asked if there was a "red hat along with it", to which I said, "No, only Luigi's." And he said, "Luigi? Who cares? I only know about Mario!" Sounds like something straight from Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
  • Today my professor finally asked, "So what was with the get-up yesterday?" And I responded, "What, the hat?" To which he said, "The whole outfit. It was very retro. Like something out of The Jetsons."
...Shit, there's actually a resemblance here. Not between ME and Elroy, but between Elroy and Fire Luigi. Well this is creepy.

Of course this doesn't count the people who yell from their cars things that I couldn't quite make out. Either way, Rawk's idea that there are these "Luigi-digging chicks" out there waiting for me proved to be a fantasy. I won't wear the hat in public from now on. Can you even clean the thing?

Unlike Nintendo employees, Ludwig wasn't paid to walk around in a Luigi hat. In fact, he doesn't even care about the Year of Luigi, except for the fact that it means Mario and Luigi: Dream Team is coming out this year. You could Follow him on Miiverse at NNID PrinceOfKoopas and he might even post in the Year of Luigi Community!

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