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Wednesday, December 28, 2022

The First Positive Case of COVID-19 on a Koopa!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That's... me! ...Oops and oof.

All I really need to do is present this photo and that's the whole article:

Ludwig Von Koopa positive covid-19 coronavirus ihealth rapid test two lines surgical mask plushwig plushie
Unlike the “Ludwig tested negative!” article linked below, I'm wearing a mask here because I tested positive.
...Though this mask likely isn't useful for protecting other people from me. Makes for a good photo, though.

COVID-19—also known as the Chinese Communist Party Virus, or CCP Virus—has been around for three years now. I'm not sure who gets to decide when it's mutated enough to become COVID-23 or whatever. Perhaps that's the coronavirus family's collective new years resolution.

I've managed to avoid it all this time, as has all of Koopa kind (though maybe some Koopas have gotten it and haven't reported it to any Koopa Kingdom government officials), even after trying out the coronavirus tests. I've gotten a negative result earlier this year! But this time, this is the exact opposite kind of article. My symptoms include chills (Monday night into Tuesday morning involved me being unable to sleep as a result) and high fevers (not hyperbole, but the medical use of the term high fever), along with some coughs, sneezes, stuffy/runny noses, and decreased mental performance. Not that I've had to actually use it, but my fire breath isn't working as it should, either.

Acetaminophen at least helps with the fever, which is the most serious symptom besides the chill (which is caused by the high fever, so there you go). I also acknowledge that I've been drinking a lot of water. The Koopa Kingdom doctors don't have any supply of Paxlovid (a drug by Pfizer that allegedly treats COVID-19), nor do they think that's necessary because I'm not at a high risk for severe (deathly) COVID-19 (though no one knows what Koopa-specific risk factors are). Their recommendation is to keep taking acetaminophen and see if things get better or worse. Of course, Paxlovid hasn't been tested on Koopas. (And it hasn't been tested extensively in humans, for that matter.) And it's been linked to worse outcomes than if you haven't taken it. Sort of like the vaccine itself, in some people's view.

Ludwig feels quite chilly as he's writing this footer, so he's going to take some medication and go to bed. He still hopes to write some quality content for the few remaining days of 2022, but he might not be able to due to being plagued by this virus. Please understand. Also, please refrain from speculating why or how Ludwig got the virus. He has behaved quite responsibly, but even those precautions can't stop a bioweapon invasion. He will stay away from others to avoid infecting them until he tests negative.


  1. Commiserations and get well soon. Also, good luck with not losing your sense of taste--when my long-distance life partner got it, that was by FAR the part that annoyed him the most. Happened right near his birthday too--he wasn't displaying other symptoms by that point so he had a cake and all but could hardly taste it.

    1. If I lose my sense of taste, that'd make the upcoming Splatfest pretty difficult.

  2. Maybe you want to Join Team Spicy to clear your stuffy nose?

    1. This... is actually the most convincing argument you've tried yet for Team Spicy. I gotta think on that.


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