Search KoopaTV!


Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Ludwig Took COVID-19 Rapid Tests, and...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Well, this isn't total clickbait. It's negative.

I had some recent business last week on the planet Earth. I don't announce these trips ahead of time for obvious reasons. (I don't want to have my fans—or my enemies—know where I'm going and when.) Specifically related to our Sierra Leone office (which no one at KoopaTV has physically been at for years because of the coronavirus, travel restrictions, and wanting to work from home) and being able to keep our name associated with it. Unfortunately, after my visit (and I'll get to keep saying KoopaTV's headquarters on Earth is in Sierra Leone thanks to my visit), I was alerted that I was in extended, close contact with someone who tested positive for COVID-19, otherwise known as the Chinese Communist Party Virus (CCP Virus). It was suggested to me that I needed to be tested for it, which I haven't done since the Tokyo 2021 Olympic Games.

Back a year ago, there were no recorded cases of the CCP Virus on any Koopas. As of now... there still aren't. And there continues not to be, according to my second iHealth COVID-19 Antigen Rapid Test result:

Ludwig Von Koopa negative iHealth COVID-19 Antigen Rapid Test result only C line
A line only at C is good! A line at both C and T is bad.
...A line only at T, or no lines, means you screwed up and wasted a test.
I don't actually know what the letters stand for. (...Then I looked it up—it's Control and Test.)

I've passed the test with a flying colour! And I think this article deserves to exist at all because you shouldn't just forget that the CCP Virus is out there. I know there are other, more new current events going on—like wars, mass shootings, and monkeypox—but the CCP Virus is most likely to affect you more than any of those. While I don't think it's likely to kill you off, there is this concept of non-lethal “long COVID8 that has a significant potential of giving you a poor quality of life for a long time. You do not want that!

As for monkeypox, that's been a thing in Sierra Leone for years. But right now, it's just a western media fascination and unlikely to affect you unless you like intimately touching people with skin lesions. Normal people with self-control don't do that. Right now, it's mostly impacting a group of people who don't have that kind of control of those urges and/or aren't very smart (men who have sex with men and people who touch diseased animals without protective gear). It's very much unlike the CCP Virus where anyone can get it just for being in the same room as someone else conversing with them.

Remember, all of the health practices you developed in 2020 and 2021 should still be followed in 2022 and beyond. That'll keep you safe not only from the CCP Virus, but all sorts of other inconvenient or fatal disease and illness. The particular test Ludwig took doesn't require putting the nasal swab very far up his snout. That being uncomfortable was his biggest fear, but it was fine. At least it wasn't an anal swab.

Ludwig tested positive by the very end of 2022.


  1. "people who touch diseased animals without protective gear"

    Poor Dixie Kong is diseased with Monkey Pox. Is that why she was not playable in Smash?

    1. P-Possibly, but more concerning is that Dixie Kong's Hat is an item for Mii Fighters to wear, and they're probably spreading things. Fortunately, I haven't seen Miis out in the wild wearing that.

      This might also be why Rillaboom didn't get in.


We embrace your comments.
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours from your comment. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot. Our vendor may subject you to CAPTCHAs.

If you comment on an article that is older than 60 days, you will have to wait for a staffer to approve your comment. It will get approved and replied to, don't worry. Unless you're a spambot.