Search KoopaTV!

Translate

Thursday, January 27, 2022

China's Surprise at Beijing 2022 Olympics Diplomatic Boycotts when they Anally Swab Diplomats

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Ew?

In a week, the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics will open. Koopa Kingdom has a full boycott of those Olympic Games, while several nations based on Earth—including the United States of America—only have a diplomatic boycott. Their athletes will still come.

China has said that those maintaining a boycott will “pay a price”... without saying what that is, but China considers it wrongdoing.

The thing about the athletes is that they will still get diplomatic security services, which apparently do not count as breaking the diplomatic boycott. But who will protect the diplomats? You see, China really does not want the Chinese Communist Party Virus (CCP Virus, also known as COVID-19) spreading around in their own country. They have a prior history of subjecting American (and other nationalities’) diplomats to “anal swabs” to test for the presence of the CCP Virus. Widespread anal swabs are still in effect as of this month, and surely going into the Olympics next week. The vast majority of people, with the exception of at least one weird KoopaTV one-time commenter, people don't like that experience.

I'd say the whole thing can be summarised with this meme I made:


Surprised Winnie the Pooh face meme Pikachu Xi Jinping anal swabs diplomatic boycott
I got the Surprised Pooh picture all by myself.
I didn't try to look up if someone else made a meme like this already. Hope not.


It shouldn't really be surprising no one wants to undergone that horrible treatment by Chinese communists because of a virus that THEY let out into the rest of the planet when the rest of the planet decides to travel to China (and perhaps bring the virus to its country of origin). And I actually thought the whole anal swab could've been FAKE NEWS at first, because it sounds like something that sensationalist media outlets would make up BECAUSE it's so egregious but also believable, sort of like how there's a whole media trope where they make up things that supposedly happened in North Korea. But it's actually widely reported by legitimate news outlets and was the subject of a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit.

The Chinese Communists claim that they subject some foreigners and their own people to anal swabbing because it's more accurate than nasal swabbing. Whether or not that's actually true, are they really so technocratic that they're totally oblivious to how people DON'T like things being stuck in there? ...I'd like to think they aren't TOTALLY robotic in their thinking, as much as they'd like to be. They specifically want to humiliate people—and I doubt that whatever marginal increase in accuracy is meaningful. I can tell you when I was a foreign dignitary coming to Japan for the Tokyo 2021 Games, while I detested their CCP Virus policies and quarantines, they didn't try to stick anything up through my tail. I'm REALLY glad that I'M not going.

Since Russian President Vladimir Putin is coming to the Beijing 2022 Olympic Games as a show of support for his “Chinese friends”, I wonder if they'll stick anything up his butt, or if it's just for foreigners from countries that China doesn't like. Ah, well, I know China doesn't like us since they blocked KoopaTV from within their country.



This will probably be the last article KoopaTV publishes about the Beijing 2022 Olympic Winter Games, but no promises on that. There could be even juicier topics that materialise (hopefully not from the side China's swabs go in) in the near future, and since KoopaTV enjoys writing anti-Chinese content instead of writing about the release of Pokémon Legends: Arceus or something, that could happen. But don't expect any (live) coverage on the Olympic proceedings themselves, unlike past events. You can read the article headline as either China is surprised (as in the Surprised Pooh face), or as China's surprise for the foreigners coming there.


KoopaTV already has a history of celebrating—not censoring—Xi Jinping-Winnie the Pooh references.

7 comments :

  1. FIFA has its own history of corruption, but the World Cup > Beijing Olympics this year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats to the World Cup for being above the bare minimum!

      Delete
  2. That commenter is hilarious, almost as funny as Charsie God, I wonder those two are doing now?

    At the very least the Olympics being in China means it won’t get (as) political like it has the past few years. China doesn’t like that stuff, and we know nobody dares to upset China.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh... Wot commenter?

      You ALMOST make me want to watch the ceremonies to see if they sing "Imagine" again. >.>

      Delete
    2. WOOOoooOoOOoOooOoOoOoh! The miraculous return!

      Delete

We embrace your comments. No identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot. Our vendor may subject you to CAPTCHAs.

If you comment on an article that is older than 60 days, you will have to wait for a staffer to approve your comment. It will get approved and replied to, don't worry. Unless you're a spambot.