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Monday, January 2, 2023

KoopaTV's December 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A quick month in a tiresome year.

I wasn't personally a big fan of 2022, though if I had to live through 2022 all over again to get Phoenix Wright in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, I would.

Regardless, this newsletter is about reviewing December 2022, specifically. So far, I've been good at realising it's 2023. But December 2022 was also... mixed, like 2022 as a whole, and today I thought that January was actually an extension of December. With regards to KoopaTV content, however, it was great! But before we get into that, a personal update:

Coronavirus Status

If you missed it, I finally fell victim to the Chinese Communist Party Virus at the end of December. My symptoms have been reduced to coughing fits whenever I speak (and sometimes even if I'm quiet), and low energy and needing to take long naps and sleep. Sleep is good, however, but these coughs are rather disruptive. Now, moving onto the non-personal part of the newsletter:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of December 2022

This difficult-to-make list (because I only have five slots and there's more experiences I'd like to show off than five) is presented in chronological order within the month of December 2022. Check these out:
  1. Butch and Cassidy are Emotionally Insecure, Unlike the Rest of Team Rocket — I look at Butch and Cassidy's few lines of dialogue in Pokémon Puzzle League and how their coworkers, Jessie and James, view them... to come to a conclusion about the duo that not many other people have thought of.
  2. Ring Fit Adventure Game Gym Minigame Tier List — I discussed the twelve minigames in Ring Fit Adventure and ranked them from least to most favourite! First Ring Fit Adventure content since KoopaTV Fitness Friday ended in March 2022.
  3. The Potential of One Button, and the Square Enix Winter Sale 2022 Putting BALAN WONDERWORLD Last — Masahiro Sakurai's video about the potential of one button is just about one button, but it's (always) a good time to bash Yuji Naka's game design of BALAN WONDERWORLD for being one button and the control stick when it should've had more.
  4. Microsoft is Correct and FTC is Wrong on Activision-Blizzard Takeover — KoopaTV read through the formal documents from the Federal Trade Commission and the response from Microsoft as they fight on allowing Microsoft to acquire Activision-Blizzard-King... and comes to the conclusion the proposal is legal and pro-consumer.
  5. The Correct Choice in the Favourite Taste Sensation Splatfest — As of publishing, there's still time for you to choose a Splatfest team in Splatoon 3. This article convinces you that the right taste sensation to like the most is sweet.

You should also check out everything else published on KoopaTV, even if those things aren't on the above list. You won't regret it.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of December 2022

Again, this part of the newsletter isn't personal... at least, not to me. Perhaps your comment being featured here would be personal to you!
  1. “I think the kid is spot on. The concept of giving them cash doesn't work in terms of the concept and mental focus. Most kids, even some teenagers and adults to be, do not understand the value of a dollar. They don't have the penchant to save or realize that they can't get exactly what they want because there are other things like sales tax that makes what they wanted a higher price. Kids also usually want toys as soon as they see them in store or in a magazine. While there are specific toys that every kid wants, on a day to day basis the specific toy that is may fluctuate as they see somthing new that's even more appealing the next time they go to the store. Most kids don't carry wallets or cash on them, cash is somthing that can only be used at the store when making a purchase, as opposed to robux or any game giftcard which can be used from the comfort of home. Often without a parents help, and with little to no thought.

    It is for all these reasons that i would agree, cash is a much better gift to give. It incentivices the kid to actually remeber to ask to go out and purchase what they want. If they can't do that, whether because of short term memory or general laziness, then the money is saved. Money that can be [used for more than digital garbage. With all that money saved, they can buy real garbage!]” — Captain Stitch
  2. “There is also a chance the newspaper was delivered to the ship by boat. I could see that happening, given that mail ships were a thing in the 19th century.” — Beldarius
  3. “Maybe you want to Join Team Spicy to clear your stuffy nose?” — ShinyGirafarig
Captain Stitch has a “support local businesses” stance, probably. But I mainly like the mood whiplash that because the kid is a kid, we must take the opposite approach of what they want and instead give what's good for them. It's a very Baby Boomer-ish comment, funny because Captain Stitch isn't that old. Like, do kids even read magazines anymore? They're portrayed here as having no ability for patience, as driven purely by fleeting moments of demand and desire with no longer-term thinking. Is it true that kids these days don't carry wallets or cash on them? I mean, I dunno. I only care about the contents or existence of someone's wallet or purse if I'm going to rob them, and stealing lunch money probably ain't worth it.

Royal Mail Ships were absolutely a thing during that era (the Titanic was one of those), and especially in the 1890s, they built the RMS Empress of India, RMS Empress of China, and RMS Empress of Japan to serve mail between Canada and Britain through the Far East. That said, those ships tended to deliver mail over to static ports, not to other ships. If people on ships wanted mail, they'd be delivered to a port that the postal workers know that ship would visit, and then be distributed to the crew once they reached that port. This is opposed to Beldarius's idea of mail ships chasing at-sea, moving steamships of passengers to deliver mail to them. The Postal Museum has a little more information about mail by sea. Still, I haven't found any literature suggesting that mail ships delivered directly to other boats out at sea instead of to mutually visited ports, so this isn't a realistic way the newspaper was delivered to the SS Burya. Still, I greatly appreciate the effort and thinking towards this plot hole. Still not really resolved though.

While I did end up going for Team Sweet over Team Spicy, I also appreciated ShinyGirafarig's attempt for me to see her way, and I did give it a great deal of thought. But I decided that Splatfest theme decisions should be decided based on timeless principles and reverence to our previous body of opinionated work, and not be flipped based on an untimely disease or two. Still, we've been doing these Splatfests for many years, and it's interesting that I'm just now thinking about that, so it's a good comment.

By comparison—and also Splatoon Splatfest-related—here was December 2022's worst comment:
  1. “Ummm. Guys. Team Callie won.” — Anonymous
There was competition between two comments, and I chose the one that was blatant lies over the one that was creepy towards a particular staff member. Again, we're continuing the theme about it not being personal. Anyway, what's wrong with this comment? Well, it has three periods spread across five words. It's obviously wrong and contradicted by... reality:

That “Ummm. Guys.” as if this commenter fancies themself to be this nervous truth-teller going into a den of iniquity, having to talk themselves into offering up a comment but driven by a sense of justice and righteousness that they can't turn away from. Except, in the end, they're not right at all—they're wrong! They're really going onto the Internet and spreading lies several years after the fact to try to convince people a totally different outcome happened, two Splatoon games later.

Splatoon Splatfest Callie versus Marie results won 340 360
Team Marie won. Everyone has known this for quite a number of years now.
...Though that Anonymous commenter either doesn't know, or is trying to make us second-guess ourselves.

While this certainly impacted Callie and Marie's relationship between Splatoon and Splatoon 2, and majorly impacted Splatoon 2's plot, by Splatoon 3 Callie and Marie are totally alright with one another. Marie is still the boss of the two, however. (Though Callie is the agent that actually goes around and provides help for the cause by going out in the field with the new Agent 3 and sometimes provides gifts.)

Splatoon 3 Marie Agent 2 being the boss review Deep Cut expense reports Story Mode Alterna
Big boss Marie, as the superior agent, is the one who is the boss.
It seems like she might have an eye for rejecting some expense reports.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 47 RESULTS!

It's unclear to me why the competition for Round 46 was more heated than Round 47's when Round 47 has objectively better prizes. Maybe the fact that prizes is plural would be why. Perhaps you might be satisfied being in non-first-place because you're still gettin' somethin' good. Well, here is everyone with a point value during Round 47, which lasted from November to the end of December:
  1. Captain Stitch — 89 points — $25 VISA gift debit card number and security code
  2. Lheticus Videre — 73 points — $20 Nintendo eShop gift card code
  3. ShinyGirafarig — 25 points — $10 Amazon gift card code
  4. Beldarius — 6 points
  5. banana — 3 points
  6. 500 YouTube Subscribers — 3 points
  7. MrPigsMamma — 2 points
  8. Larry Koopa — 1 point
I'm gonna have a lot of emails to send out. But...wait, there's MORE.

Raffle Drawing

The December newsletter has a special feature where the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program has an RNG-based raffle component. For every point, you get one chance to win, with the sum of all of the points being the number of chances someone has to win (202 points). So Captain Stitch has an 89/202 chance to win, while ShinyGirafarig has a 25/202 chance to win. raffle drawing between 1 and 202 151 KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program was used for a random number between 1 and 202, and it selected 151!

Congratulations to the winner of the raffle, which is Captain Stitch! He'll get an additional $10 eShop gift card code, since he has all of the raffle tickets between 74 and 162, and it drew 151.

Announcing KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 48!

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 48 is a departure from Round 46 and Round 47, and will feature one prize that is a mere $10 Nintendo eShop card code. Round 48 will end when the month of February 2023 ends, and has...already begun, even if nothing has been recorded of it before publishing this.

KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XL and KoopaTV Quiz Part XL Now Available!

I'm shocked that 40 in Roman Numerals is XL. Still, beyond being shocked, these aren't particularly special forms. I won't make an Extra-Large joke or anything and make them especially lengthy. The Quiz is six questions as it normally is, packed with amusing incorrect answers in the multiple choice questions. The Feedback Form is...brief. Check out the new form and quiz here. You can also check out the old ones. At the very least, I'm happy we went from five Roman numerals (39) to two (40).

Corrections Corner; December 2022

Nothing was corrected on during December 2022.

Remember that sharing is one form of caring, and KoopaTV benefits when you share its articles around.

Last month's review newsletter covered November 2022. Click here to read it. You'll like it.
Next month's newsletter reviews January 2023!
Last year's December 2021 newsletter is available here. That... yes, that is the one from last year. Lots of numbers to keep track of.


  1. Is someone already attempting to Mandela Effect Splatoon?

    1. I believe it to be malicious and they're trying to gaslight us all!

  2. I do like to support local businesses, but not if they are extremally expensive like my local ice cream place. It's good ice cream but it's not THAT good. I hope you end up feeling better, i myself have been struck with great congestion all week but it's gone now. It lasted about as long as it took me to binge play through Chibi-Robo Clean Sweep. Excellent game by the way, maybe I'll write up a review for it.

    Congratulations to me and my peers for this loyalty round and this upcoming one is sure to be fun too. Hopefully I'll manage to get some of those glorious correction points! In other news I got Ghost Trick and I must say I'm really enjoying it! Booooooooooooooooooooo!

    1. Now I want ice cream.

      Alternatively, now I want to re-experience Ghost Trick for the first time.


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