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Monday, May 3, 2021

KoopaTV's April 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Start of Spring? Late bloomer!

April 2021 was a screwed up month for KoopaTV, owing to the fact that the first week was erased from existence due to our complications with Nintendo.

That affects EVERYTHING in April, so... Keep that in mind. By the way, at the end of this newsletter, there's some BREAKING news that will affect the smartest among you, you so better read it.

Top Four Recommended Experiences of April 2021


This part of the newsletter is normally the Top FIVE Recommended Experiences, but because KoopaTV had a whole week chopped off, I've turned it into the Top FOUR Recommended Experiences. Just to be proportional. I mean, I could easily add a fifth article to this chronologically ordered list:
  1. How PAC-MAN 99's Privacy Policy Lies To You — Ludwig actually read the legal documents associated with PAC-MAN 99, and identified a crucial distinction between what the documents suggest and what actually happens in practice.
  2. LEGO and Nintendo Announce "Adventures with Luigi" Starter Set — We already know from prior KoopaTV articles that LEGO Super Mario is dangerous—now there'll be a LEGO Luigi to go with the horrors.
  3. The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles—WORLDWIDE RELEASE: July 27, 2021! — In terms of significantly happier announcements, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles—a compilation of TWO Ace Attorney games that have never released outside of Japan—was announced, and they'll be in PHYSICAL copies outside of Japan! Super hyped!
  4. Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 37: The Abs Song — If you enjoy the intersection between exercise and song, then this is for YOU. ...And it's for you even if you don't already know that you enjoy that.

There's many other experiences from April 2021 not on that list (not as many as other months, but still plenty), so be sure to check those out too. Every KoopaTV article is worth reading!

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of April 2021


Even though the comment quantity fell in April due to the new article quantity dropping, at least there was more activity than April 2020! Anywho, here's KoopaTV showcasin’ your comments:
  1. “75$? lol! very cheap. i charge much more, in fact I just wrote a 1250 word essay and banked a cool 350 so these bitches really got no clue wtf they doin on god they just writin some bullshit. no care, no love, no effort. I'm out here grinding for my work and as a result i be makin DOLLAAAAAAAAAAS.” — sam
  2. “Never in a million years would I have guessed that Balan's race would be a controversial issue.” — Samantha Lienhard
  3. “Didn't Color Splash give you a hint for the first two rounds and then have the third one be entirely luck-based? I'm not sure I'd really say there was much strategy there.

    In the first MH Stories, it was more like, "Okay, this monster tends to use speed attacks, but occasionally something else, so the next attack has a good chance of being speed," or "this monster normally uses this attack twice in a row and then a different attack, but randomly throws in a different one" so I'm not sure that's exactly strategy either, more like memorization and a bit of luck.

    I'm hoping Stories 2 will expand on that to be more strategic, which should put it above Roshambo's level of strategy.” — Samantha Lienhard
I'm happy to read that sam is able to extort people for his essays! ...Erm... Charge a mutually agreed-to price that brings value to both parties in the exchange. By the way, on the weirdos asking KoopaTV to host their sponsored guest posts note, in April we got requests from a “Blogger Outreach Specialist at MagFellow” who wanted to “build a long term relationship” with KoopaTV with online gambling-related content. ...Now, I do consider that to be a sister industry to the videogame industry, but no, we're not interested, and we don't do paid submissions.

We also got a “Michael Dehoyos” who wanted to write about “5 Useful Skills That Playing Video Games Can Teach You.” He's another one of those awful professional writers, and I outright told him, “We're not interested. I've read some of your other work and it's not suitable for KoopaTV's quality standards.” He's since written mediocre guest articles for several other websites on a wide range of topics since I told him off.

Anyway, I have a lot more faith in, say, Samantha Lienhard's writing abilities. I also have faith that she'd actually be able to guess in a maximum of ten years (way less than one million) that Balan's race would be a controversial issue. That said, I think the issue has died down among the weirdos that comprise its fanbase, and now they're focused on shipping Balan and Lance. ...Which I find uncomfortable, if you know how they're related.

I also hope good things for Monster Hunter Stories 2 combat!

As for the worst comment...
  1. “WAIT A SECOND! If Koopa T.V is over forever then i won't get my kopa loyalty rewards prize, how will i know if i had the best comment or what china thinks of KoopaTv? What if china actually took over KoopaTv and this is their way of making sure no one freaks out? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” — Captain Stitch
Yeah, yeah, you're getting your prize, but you ain't deserving it with all of your weird and novel ways to misspell both Koopa and KoopaTV. Multiple ways in the same comment! So you don't have the best comment but you do have the worst one. ...There was substantial competition for it, too!

By the way, how would China taking over KoopaTV but trying to cover it up by ending KoopaTV so no one freaks out...work? That doesn't make any sense. I'd like to think KoopaTV ending would be cause for a freak-out.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 37 RESULTS!


Well, I already revealed the winner, didn't I? Eh, here's the top three:
  1. Captain Stitch — 78 points — $10 Nintendo eShop card code
  2. Samantha Lienhard — 34 points
  3. Health — 33 points
Thanks to everyone who participated (and thanks to Kamek for providing the code), but we're also moving right along to BIGGER AND BETTER things.

Announcing KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 38!


We are now already in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 38, which began (just not announced) already as of May 1! And it ends June 30, 2021.

To celebrate the return of E3, KoopaTV is upping the ante on our prizes as well. Well, as much as Kamek is willing to spend, which is $10 for an Amazon gift card code for first place and $10 for a Nintendo eShop card code for second place. I've also noticed it's been a long-standing (optional) KoopaTV tradition for first and second place to trade prizes if one place would prefer the other place's prize, so you can consider that too.

Captain Stitch is already off to a strong start for Round 38, by the way. Y'all should do something about that.


KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XXX and KoopaTV Quiz Part XXX Now Available!


Three X = Part 30! Now go check out the new form and new quiz here, as well as the archive of the other 29.


Corrections Corner; April 2021


Captain Stitch pointed out that I wrote “Can't we stop and that piggyback ride?” instead of “Can't we stop and have that piggyback ride?” I regret the error.

KoopaTV Email Subscriptions Going Away


Around early-mid April, Google sent me this notice:
“FollowByEmail widget (Feedburner) is going away
You are receiving this information because your blog uses the FollowByEmail widget (Feedburner).
Recently, the Feedburner team released a system update announcement , that the email subscription service will be discontinued in July 2021.
After July 2021, your feed will still continue to work, but the automated emails to your subscribers will no longer be supported. If you’d like to continue sending emails, you can download your subscriber contacts. Learn how”

Google further explained that email subscriptions are a non-core part of the FeedBurner functionality. Of course, the entire purpose of KoopaTV's relationship to FeedBurner was to set up the email subscriptions. Let me know if you or anyone you know uses RSS feeds for RSS feeds’ sake for blog content—my theory is no one does.

You should also let me know about alternate ways to set up email subscriptions that'll automatically send things out with a new article. I looked for one method called Blogtrottr, but I dislike it because they put advertisements in the email—and any revenue from the advertisements goes to THEM. KoopaTV wouldn't get anything. I don't like that idea. I'd rather there be no ads at all.

This also means that Round 38 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program will be the last time that the email subscription bonus will be available for contestants to use. ...Though a grand total of zero people have used it since it was introduced.




Share KoopaTV around to people you know. The article saying KoopaTV is over still has more views than the article after it saying KoopaTV is back, so... There's a gap there.


The March 2021 newsletter (the article stating KoopaTV is back) felt like it just happened!
Last year's April 2020 newsletter is one click away!

6 comments :

  1. I'm the one person who reads your articles through Gmail's sub-browser.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even know what "Gmail's sub-browser" IS! (But glad you're out there!)

      ...Would you mind explaining wot kinda experience that is? :p

      Delete
  2. I get my notifications from Discord and I read them every time. It's been another great month for Koopa TV!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One Discord solution I should perhaps look into is getting one of those broadcast bot thingies where you can "Follow" a channel and it syndicates to other places.

      Delete
  3. Victory! Worst comment yeesh, if KoopatV ended we would be sad, but what could we do. China is getting stronger and stronger these days. I used my saved eshop money to buy Rhythm thief, it's kinda odd but I like it enough.

    I noticed that little jab against me, you'll never dethrone me from the loyalty program. My loyalty is everlasting! On that note, if I get first place I'll swap the amazon gift card for the eshop one, I don't really use amazon.

    I'm glad the corrections corner is used this time, I will dedicate myself to make sure it never goes empty again! I think the second sentence of this article might have a typo itself, not that it matters. I mean I mess up alllllll the time. In any case, I'm glad to be a part of Koopatelevision and cannot wait to see what's in store for the next month.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I can't dethrone you, but someone else might.

      I disagree that it has a typo. It's non-standard, but people do talk like that.

      Delete

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