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Monday, May 1, 2023

KoopaTV's April 2023 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We have VERY big news to share, so read the entire newsletter. Carefully.

Hey, it's May!

Good job to you for surviving this long. Good job to us, too. It's felt like a rough whirlwind, yeah? Well, we have a number of items to share in the newsletter that focus less on April 2023 and more on things going on after May 1, 2023, but I'm still going to review April, too. Here's some proof:

Top Five Recommended Experiences of April 2023

Even though we had three days off from April 2023, we also had an additional day on (Saturday, April 1) that wouldn't normally happen, so I'm comfortable going with a top five instead of a top four. It's certainly a tough competition even at five:
  1. The Short History of the Disrespected DK Rap — In basically every opportunity the DK Rap has had since 2001, it has been shafted and disrespected in some way. The Super Mario Bros. Movie leaving Grant Kirkhope's name out of its credits is just one of a long line of examples.
  2. LEGO Super Mario Character Pack Series 6, Wendy O. Koopa in the Creativity Toolbox, and Pom Pom on a Balloon Ride — Ludwig plays catch up on wave 6 of the LEGO Super Mario series, and in the process, uncovers several storylines that further prove his on-going point that Mario is a vicious and evil man who must be stopped.
  3. Alex Jones Is Wrong About Mario Hallucinating Koopas — American talk personality Alex Jones is correct that Mario is a bad guy, but in the process of making his point, he stated that Koopas are a product of a drug-induced hallucination on Mario's part. KoopaTV takes great issue with that claim.
  4. The Truths About the FAIRtax — After listening to the media and politicians lie about the plan, Ludwig writes several truths about the FAIRtax, a national consumption tax plan in the United States, based on common objections and questions he has encountered.
  5. SEEK POWER! Power Versus Wisdom Versus Courage Splatfest! — The upcoming Splatfest asks you which you should seek of power, wisdom, or courage. The choice to KoopaTV is clear: MORE POWER. Ludwig explains why.

Hm, tough competition didn't do it justice. April 2023 was a SPECTACULAR month for KoopaTV content. I'm (still) impressed by my own output. Hopefully, you are too. Everything, even if not listed above, is worth reading. There were several things I wanted to include but couldn't! The above list was created in chronological order of when it was published, by the way.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of April 2023

Clearly, April 2023 was a great month for KoopaTV readers. Given that, did KoopaTV readers turn into KoopaTV comments section commenters, and how good (or bad) were those? Let's see (in chronological order)...
  1. “I agree with liking the Melee version, however losing touch with much later Smash Brothers games I had no idea they were desecrating something old as usual. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but tidbits pertinent particularly to old fans still hanging in the fandom, such as this article, are precisely why I frequent this site.” — C.Mechayoshi
  2. “Since you linked to my post on The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, I'll reiterate here that one of the things that game does right is that it doesn't feel like the joke is just "we made a visual novel, isn't that FUNNY?" but rather that the premise sounds wild enough for April Fools' while also having effort clearly put into it.

    I think the answer to why gag games are usually visual novels/dating sims has two parts. First, yes, they're relatively easier to make than other types of games. But second, visual novels tend to be looked down on for not being "real" games. Like I said above, those gag games often come across like the joke is just that the developer made a visual novel instead of a "real" game.

    (Alternately, since most of them tend to be dating sims or romance visual novels, you could take it to mean they find the idea of someone enjoying a romance story inherently funny.)

    The KFC game Captain Stitch mentioned is an example of one. It was utterly soulless and felt like the developers were trying to parody a genre they knew nothing about.” — Samantha Lienhard
  3. “Please let me know if you hear Iggy's (or Ludwig's) voice on these rides, or anywhere outside of the games. I'd really appreciate it. -Mike Vaughn (voice of Iggy and Ludwig) mike-at-mikevaughn-dot-com” — Unknown [Mike Vaughn]
I guess people go to KoopaTV for trivial things that old people care about that go over the younger generation's heads. ...Yeah, that makes sense, given that the site's web design feels like it's twenty years old and decries a lot of what's new and hip in gaming. (And we have a particular attachment to old canons.)

I think we're done with the on-going across-several-newsletters discussion on visual novels as jokes talk with Samantha's comment. Among other things I'm not happy about, it's that treatment of the genre as the butt of a joke.

I'd love to help out my voice actor, but seeing as how I only have pretended to go to Super Nintendo World as opposed to actually going there, I'll have to ask YOU all in my stead: If you have gone to Super Nintendo World, does my augmented reality self talk? (Or make noises otherwise?) Like, I know King Dad does. I believe he's asking because it may violate the contract he signed with Nintendo, so he wants to get a lawyer if my voice is present during the ride. It might also be difficult to tell given the music on the ride and the nature of it.

Meanwhile, there was plenty of legitimate competition for the WORST comment made in the month. It's sort of upsetting it came to that. Like, this month could've easily had a top three worst comments, but that would break the format. There were a lot of one-off weirdos this time. But I ultimately decided this was the worst comment:
  1. “ني تعبانه مش قادرة عايزة اروح البريود تاني يوم وصداع واسهال وحاسه اني دايخه كله علي بعضه بصراحه بشتغل ومش قادرة ” — zamzam
I don't know why there is a dude writing comments in Arabic in the KoopaTV comments section, but if Google Translate is to be trusted, he has problems with diarrhea, dizzyness, and headaches. He doesn't know if he can make it through the day. Unfortunately, KoopaTV is not the correct resource to turn to if you have those symptoms. For all I know, zamzam is now deceased, but I take no responsibility for that. All I wanted to do was write an article about washing your hands for twenty seconds.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 49 RESULTS!

Well, this was a pretty weak competition this time. Low point values. Sad! (Well, happy for the winner, I suppose?)
  1. Captain Stitch — 50 points — $10 Nintendo eShop card code
  2. Samantha Lienhard — 35 points
  3. Lheticus Videre — 12 points
  4. C.Mechayoshi — 12 points
  5. ShinyGirafarig — 11 points
Y'know, Samantha could've (easily) won if she tried to keep pace. Where y'all at? Anyway, I don't wanna see any more ties, because I don't know how to handle those. A tie has never happened where it's affected the outcome of the round, and I want to keep it that way. Congrats to Captain Stitch, and I'll email you your code shortly.

Announcing KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 50!

In keeping with our usual tradition (besides last year), we have upped the ante for the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program round that begins in May and ends at the conclusion of June. Check out these prizes:

First place will get a $50 Vanilla MasterCard Debit card details. (Card expires April 2027.) The card will not be shipped to you, so you'll have to use it digitally.

Second place will receive four $10 Amazon gift card codes (for a total of $40).

Third place will receive one $20 Nintendo eShop card code and one $10 Nintendo eShop card code (for a total of $30 in value).

Fourth place will receive one $20 Nintendo eShop card code.

Lastly, fifth place will receive one $10 Amazon gift card code.

Round 50 Will Be The LAST Round

The reason the prizes are so generous despite E3 2023 being cancelled is because Round 50 will be the last round of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. That means it'll be discontinued after July 1, 2023. (...So Captain Stitch may wish to find an alternative arrangement for Nintendo Switch Online membership starting on November 1, 2023, after having won a years-worth of inclusion into KoopaTV's Family Group.)

We've given out several hundreds of dollars worth of prizes on KoopaTV (maybe it's crossed the thousand-dollar barrier? I haven't counted it, but if you'd like to do that, that'd be cool.) over the years, so Round 50 seems like a nice place to conclude that and see what happens. For more information, stay tuned for our May 12, 2023 article. It'll be linked at the bottom of this post. ...No, it won't be about The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

The prizes for this round happen to represent my entire stockpile of unused gift cards. I could use them for myself. But instead I'm giving them to you. If you earn them, anyway.

KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XLII and KoopaTV Quiz Part XLII Now Available!

No one even filled out KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XLI and KoopaTV Quiz Part XLI, so KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XLII and KoopaTV Quiz Part XLII will also be the last of those series. These take a bit of time to make, after all, especially thinking of new questions every time! Check out the new form and quiz here. You can also check out the collection of old forms and quizzes there, too.

Corrections Corner; April 2023

Nothing to report, though one of my articles in April 2023 was basically a big correction to an article from 2016.

KoopaTV will try to have some of the best content around (perhaps including from you?) to make the site very much worth commenting on in May and June 2023. That ought to make Round 50 the most interesting KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program round (and KoopaTV content period) ever. Let the site know what you think about that! (Including via the Feedback Form.)

Click here for KoopaTV's 10-year anniversary article published on May 12, 2023. This explains about the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program final round...and more.
Last month's review of March 2023 is here.
The next month's review of May 2023 is here.
Last year's April 2022 newsletter may be found here. Just click it.


  1. I guess this was a good time to get my Triforce of Courage to start posting again.

    1. "I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me!"

    2. I took this from some king. Maybe that is why he was kidnapped by Ganon.

    3. I hope you don't feel guilty about that!


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