PlayStation Showcase 2023 | KoopaTV Live Reaction

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They either lied to regulators or they suck. Let's see which.

It isn't quite June yet, but I suppose it is close enough for big mid-year videogame announcement streams. First up, it is Sony Interactive Entertainment—not with a mere State of Play, but with a grandiose SHOWCASE for the whole year.

The only KoopaTV staff member present during this live reaction log is myself, but I'm all you need. Let's start:

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9z0atV8VDk

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently, this is going to be OVER AN HOUR long, so I might not know what I'm getting myself into.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: According to Sony's testimony to regulators, they don't have any games worth playing and they are dependent on Call of Duty to make sales. Let's see if that's actually true.

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STAY TUNED

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well I guess they don't have any games.

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...nevermind, ESRB notice of RP to Mature.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If this was an [ENGLISH CLOSED CAPTIONS] stream they'd have a "music" caption. But it's sub-titles, so there should only be something upon dialogue/monologue.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And there it is. TOO MUCH POWER HELD BY THE BILLIONAIRES.

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The narrator has decided to do something about it, and the captions has a ♪♪♪ sub-title, so I guess it IS a captions stream and not a sub-title stream?

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The captions are actually [ENGLISH OPEN CAPTIONS] because I CLOSED CAPTIONS means I can toggle them on and off and they're not burned into the video.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Anyway, this is called FAIRGAME$, developed by Haven.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It looks like an Ubisoft looter shooter.

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Jim Ryan, president and CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment, acting like this is an E3 presentation. He's saying developers are just scratching the surface of games they can develop in the third year of the PlayStation 5's lifecycle. Maybe they'll finally make exclusive titles.

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently, there is an alien invasion or something on Earth/America, but if you join the Helldivers, you can preserve liberty. (This is a game trailer not Jim Ryan.)

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Instead of being invaded by aliens, the Helldivers are "free" to colonise other planets and take their resources and kill their inhabitants. And to be fair, those aliens would do the same thing. "Spread prosperity, liberty, and democracy. Become a hero." Sounds like the Iraq War, which is on my mind given my article on Monday about peace deals in war.

[4:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Meanwhile, this EA Original game features more first-person shooting, but this one is based off energy projectiles emitted from your Hand, which seems to be a proper noun.

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Immortals of Aveum" "Aveum" is very difficult to spell.

[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next game from 505 Games has a dude with a motorcycle riding on a wall with wall-clinging powers, because I guess Spiderman is fun. There is a game logo that is highly stylised but I think it says Ghost Runner II.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This next game says it won't make a difference at the end of the day, so I guess I shouldn't care.

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But some freak just appeared and said "EVERYONE WEARS A MASK"

This is an accurate portrayal of what 2020 was like.

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Followed by "YOU TOO"

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sounds like Fauci.

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Buddha is there.

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Phantom Blade 0" but the 0 has a strike through it.

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next trailer features someone else wearing a mask.

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This isn't a walking simulator but a skateboarding-in-the-desert simulator.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...alright the skateboarding is correct since it's doing half-pipes.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Sword of the Sea"

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, it's a stock robot walking outside.

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And by "stock" I mean like the generic kind.

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Talos Principle II.

[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: From the creators of Gris is an afro'd lady, a dog, and a big... fur thing.

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Fighting some shadow creatures.

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nevermind, big fur thing didn't even survive the trailer.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Neva" "2024" Devolver Digital too. Well, that was a movie. Dunno about a game.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CAT QUEST PIRATES OF THE PURRIBEAN Coming 2024 to PS4 and PS5.

This is the third Cat Quest title, and they are not exclusive to the PlayStation.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, it certainly has....gameplay. And meowing.

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Moving on...

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh.... some kind of...bubble shooting multiplayer game with Splatoon-esque sound effects.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: By SQUARE ENIX.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It even has special weapons and an Inkstrike.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a Killer Wail.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Foamstars, coming to PS5 and PS4.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Plucky Squire is also coming to PS5 in 2023.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I wanna know more about Foamstars, not because I'm interested, but I'm interested in how much they're copying from Splatoon.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next game is... uh.... Minecraft??

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With guns and explosives and get-away vehicles.

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And graffitti for fun.

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Teardown" coming to PS5.

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THIS YEAR

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "ambient nature sounds" featuring bugs walking.

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...a lot of bugs walking.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a bird carrying a... dude and eating it. Eaten by a lake snake eaten by an alligator or crocodile.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: oh

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: shit

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: it's Snake

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: like

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: proper noun

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The dude.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Metal Gear Solid Delta Snake Eater

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (The Delta is a green triangle)

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming to PS5.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Metal Gear Solid Master Collection also coming to PS5.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: When it was doing that classic ring-ring sound I thought they were gonna announce him for Super Smash Bros. Brawl again.

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Meanwhile, this is... Breath of the Wild I dunno.

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lots of jumping off places and paragliding.

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming 2024, and the name of the game went too quickly for me to get its title. I blame the trailer for that, not me.

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Another SQUARE ENIX game, featuring people suffering when you show your face.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I'm waiting for them to say chaos, but we get Ifrit instead)

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Actually, wasn't one of the first Final Fantasy XVI trailers already like this?

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They really are obsessing over Mr. Clive.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, appropriately, there is a book doing a book-end, so...

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Final Fantasy XVI releases in a month.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "ALAN: I'm trapped here in this nightmare. I write to escape. Every word is a step forward... into darkness." Oh, hey, a writer. Or not. A dead FBI special agent.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The FBI agent was chasing the writer.

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Probably something that's happening to me, too.

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: As the writer.

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FBI agent holding a flashlight. ...until she got knocked to the floor by a freak. Shout-out to the CandlePowerForums (CPF).

Over at Candle Power Forums, they are trying to figure out what model Leon Kennedy's Resident Evil 4 flashlight is.

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ah, Alan Wake II, coming out October 2023.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed hoodie guy.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed Mirage, coming October 12. (Notably without saying 2023.)

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: An accordian music is playing with a black cat.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We're following the cat.

It looks like there is some kind of protest or worker strike at a factory, and management seems content to shoot down their workers.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Revenant Hill coming to PS5 (and PS4)

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot is this, Xenoblade Chronicles?

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No, Granblue Fantasy Relink, available in 2023 on PS5 and PS4.

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Meanwhile, here's CAPCOM with Street Fighter 6 (or Street Fighter VI).

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ryu's journey knows no end, but it says "your story starts here".

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ken Masters was set-up somehow.

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guile looking good.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming out next week. CAPCOM wants you to pre-order it for bonuses.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I wonder if there'll be a GHOST TRICK trailer. <.<

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Whatever this is isn't Ghost Trick, but it's stylistically just Hollow Knight)

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Though a bit less...buggy.

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Ultros"

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's literally just trying to be Hollow Knight. <.< But in 2024.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay, this next game features anime motorcycling and... RPG combat and mechas.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is wot I think Genshin Impact is like.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it also has swimming and it's called "Tower of Fantasy".

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's some French writing on the screen so I'm disinterested, but it's also from CAPCOM.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH it's Dragon's Dogma II.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I...forgot they announced that.

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And the first dialogue is asking if I did not remember.

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Well, they certainly got me.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "not actual gameplay" alrighty.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's posters of animatronics.

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So I instantly have a negative opinion despite the commentary on corporations. Oh. It's literally Five Nights at Freddy's "Help Wanted 2" and it ends with a freaky thing screaming into the camera.

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Terrible.

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now we're in the PlayStation VR2 segment.

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With some Resident Evil stuff from CAPCOM.

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You know, Ghost Trick SHOULD be in this showcase at some point; it's a PlayStation 4 game coming out next month.

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Resident Evil 4 to be exact)

[4:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy seems to be making friends with zombies.

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Zombies in Arizona.

Feel free to characterise your political opponents’ supporters as this guy.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Do zombies mind the heat? How about the cold? I would think with all of the zombie-related media over the past couple of decades that I'd know the answer to that just through cultural osmosis. (Since it's not like I've engaged with that zombie media myself. Not my style.)

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I need you to focus" the trailer says, as I'm not focusing on the PlayStation VR2 footage.

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think they're transitioning out of virtual reality.

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...........................................

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What the hell is this?

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, it's not game footage. <.<

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Someone got shot though. ...hope that one is game footage and not real life.

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Marathon" from Bungie.

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Discover more at marathonthegame.com" miracle I caught that call to action because it disappeared QUICK. (Which is not a good way to promote your product)

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Didn't look like "the game" though, given the lack of game in that trailer.

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "fought alongisde those" subtitle fail :(

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Final Shape Destiny 2" oh is this whole thing a Bungie segment?

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: See, they have Bungie, wot do they need Activision for?

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "concord" "coming 2024 to pc and ps5" well that wasn't informative.

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Gran Turismo....documentary???

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: MOO

I was expecting to get a screenshot of car porn,
but I'll gladly take the bull sculpture at the Red Bull Ring in Austria instead.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah it was a documentary.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Jim Ryan returns to thank us.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He claims PlayStation's innovation is their passion.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Featuring Splatoon rip-offs?)

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And there is some kind of streaming device they are coming up with.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: See? Cloud streaming market is doing fine. YOU HEAR THAT, COMPETITIONS AND MARKET AUTHORITY?

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And PlayStation...earbuds.

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Final game trailer.

[5:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring knives and choking a dude out.

[5:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh hey it's Spider-Man.

[5:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: On an LED screen.

[5:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "the great hunt begins"

SIX MONTHS LATER



(Here I thought the trailer would just end, but no, it's Queens, New York)

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Definitely Spider-Man.

Collective yelling seems to be the audience's general response to watching this.

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He's not happy with lizards.

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's two Spider-Men, changing perspectives between the two.

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Watch out for his new powers!" (The enemies did not watch out.)

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Crawling gameplay ended by a cutscene.

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ooh, organic vegetables.

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The two Spider-Men have reunited.

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I want them to point at each other.

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's a guy with an Assassin's Creed hood driving a motorboat.

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Spider-Man COULD choose to ride the boat, but he'd rather go from boat to boat.

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Metal murder bird (shooty drone).

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The metal murder bird farts out poison gas.

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Spider-Man doesn't seem effective underwater.

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Quick-time event alley-oop.

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mr. Parker doesn't seem to be in-character.

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SPIDER-MAN 2 "Be Greater Together" Fall 2023.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ending montage.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So... is it over?

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Because all you have to do is send this showcase to the FTC and the CMA and that should hopefully persuade them that Sony will be just fine if Microsoft gets to acquire Activision Blizzard.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not a single game or project here was dependent on them being an independent company, after all.

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And, like, I don't care about it but other people do!

[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If they can get their own Splatoon they can get their own first-person multiplayer online shooter just fine. They even got a streaming device thing. Though... it looks like it streams from your PS5 and not a data centre into a little handheld thing. ...So, nevermind, I guess Sony is helpless and Microsoft will conquer the cloud gaming market with no potential of being uppended.

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And if Sony is helpless, why bother getting a PlayStation 5 at all? Get an Xbox.


Did YOU get excited for what was shown in the PlayStation Showcase 2023 despite the overall lack of actual gameplay footage to get excited over? Do you want to get a PlayStation 5 now? Or are the most interesting titles the ones that will also be on other platforms (including the PlayStation 4)? Was Ludwig wrong to expect Ghost Trick to make an appearance, with how many CAPCOM games showed up?


The previous PlayStation live reaction log was the February 2023 State of Play.
Let's talk just about FOAMSTARS...