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Friday, April 1, 2022

KoopaTV's March 2022 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Several announcements and a first for KoopaTV!

Today's March 2022 newsletter marks the first time in KoopaTV's entire history that we've been doing March newsletters (going back to 2014) where the March newsletter is published on April 1. Our monthly newsletters are SUPPOSED to be the first thing published in the month following the month that's being reviewed in the newsletter, but something's always come up that's either pushed that to later, or pulled it to be earlier, like being on the last day of March instead of the first day of April.

BUT that's not even the main reason why this year's March newsletter is cool. Nah, we got some breaking news:

KoopaTV introduces koopatv.eth, our first step into Web3!

KoopaTV now has a presence on Web3 technology, which will set Koopa Kingdom up for a future where this is the dominant generation of the Internet. KoopaTV staffer Kamek is the one in charge of this and really the expert behind what this means. He described it as “like the first pike hammered into the mountain on a climb... metaphorically, of course. Like claiming a land for your country. With a flag! An end-of-the-stage flag, even!”

I'm not really able to answer any questions about this technology or what it actually does, but Kamek will have an article coming in the near future, inspired by the request we got about writing an article about NFTs. koopatv.eth, according to Kamek, is itself a non-fungible token.

koopatv.eth is also an address that you can use to donate money to us with cryptocurrency, as “the official KoopaTV crypto wallet” (another Kamek quote). Rather than remembering the actual wallet address (0x9241089cf848cb30c6020ee25cd6a2b28c626744), koopatv.eth is a customised wallet address router. If you want to know how to acquire cryptocurrency and how to actually send currency from yourself to us, um... ask Kamek. Maybe he'll cover it in his article. Regardless of how complicated it is, this is actually the first real way you can donate to KoopaTV. Our continued existence doesn't depend on your support (it depends on King Bowser Koopa being willing to fund us), but we would appreciate it.

Ah, but that's not the only good news announcement to share in this newsletter:

Google somewhat fixed KoopaTV's image searchability

The top story from the October 2021 newsletter was about how Google, which is KoopaTV's content management system provider (via their Blogger software), changed all of the image URLs going forward. It seems around March 23, 2022 they made another change, this time for the better. You can see this for yourself on the Week 69 Fitness Log. On Monday (March 21), the image URLs looked like this:
 While the images uploaded on Wednesday (March 23) (and the days after) have URLs like this:
The difference is in the ending, where now the file name (and the file type) is at the end instead of being excluded altogether, which is how it's been for several months now. The URL is still more dirty than, say, September 2021 and before, but at least it's not a total disaster. Search engines (like Google's) want URLs to have actual words in them that describe what you'll find if you visit that URL. That includes image files. Now they'll know that image is about Ring Fit Adventure's Overhead Side Bend Fit Skill a bit better than, uh... not having that there. (That's not the only factor that goes into image search results, but it is one of the factors.) I guess I'm something resembling happy. This will help KoopaTV be found to more people.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of March 2022

I think March 2022 was KoopaTV's best month of 2022 so far! Here are the top five recommended experiences from that month:
  1. Happy MAR5 Day for Team Galactic Commander Mars! — Mars has been making a name for herself once again, though the new Sinnoh remasters dropped parts of her characterisation.
  2. MAR7 Day for Crazy Altean Marth — This article tells you the story about Marth the war criminal.
  3. MAR8 Day Brings... Marx Day. Yikes! — Marx may be a celebrated villain, but his machinations were... nonsensical.
  4. MAR10 may be Mario Day, but I'll remember it as the day I became a LEGO — That plumber has it out for me by introducing LEGO sets featuring me. I look awful.
  5. Happy MAR13 Day for Squid Sister Marie! — Since Splatoon 3 still isn't out yet, I went to check on how Marie is doing.

Alright, yes, this top five was blatantly rigged to be a gimmick section. Now, all five of those articles were excellent, yes. But I probably would've picked a few other things if not for the gimmick—so you should read all of the other articles published during March 2022 because they are all worth reading. That said, despite the success of it in 2022, I kinda blew my material this year, so I don't think I should do this alternatives to MAR10 Day gimmick again in 2023 (if KoopaTV is even around still). Even if they're all way better than that mustachioed menace.

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of March 2022

Besides gimmicky (and great) articles, what's been happening on your side of things, as readers? Well, here are some notable comments made during March 2022 from y'all:
  1. “People were awfully quick to R34 the grass cat. Not so much the other two as far as I saw. Me, I think all THREE of them are weird and ugly, but Quaxly as mildly less so so I'm probably gonna go with them--if I get the game at all, which I might not. I'm not very supportive of there being a 9th main series region at all, to tell the truth.” — Lheticus Videre
  2. “The DxD screenshots have been archived on the wayback machine as the current links to them are broken:” — Anonymous
  3. “358/2 Days should NOT be played before KH2, because it spoils some big things for it. Yet when they released the collections, they split them up as KH1, Chain of Memories, and 358/2 Days in 1.5, and KH2, Birth By Sleep, and Re:coded in 2.5. Then when they combined the two into a single collection, they kept that order, so 358/2 Days appears before KH2 in the menu.” — Samantha Lienhard
I'm not here to kink-shame you, unlike a lot of other socially conservative people... If Lheticus Videre wants to admit to going and seeing plenty of pornography of all three baby starter Pokémon, sure. (Although he called them ugly, so I guess he didn't like what he saw. Quaxly is literally an ugly duckling to him.) If the Anonymous guy wants to keep the article full of erotic imagery relevant because I hotlinked it all and those hotlinks are dead now, go ahead. (Anonymous was probably smarter by NOT leaving a name, though.)

Samantha Lienhard also commented useful things (of a non-degenerate nature, despite how I feel about the Kingdom Hearts series). I find the choices that SQUARE ENIX made with their Kingdom Hearts collections really funny (and unfortunate), so I think that's worth pointing out. ...In that same conversation, we also both bought Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney for the 3DS while it was on sale. Funding the Ace Attorney series is always a very noble and great thing to do.

Here was the worst comment from March 2022:
  1. “i need a nintendo 50 dollar gift card” — Unknown
I asked the anonymous guy with no contact information provided how I'd give him the 50 dollar gift card. He never answered. Come on, man, I can get what you need. You can stop commenting on random comments sections advertising your needs and instead actually get them fulfilled. But only if you actually put some thought into it.

By the way, you know who received a Nintendo eShop gift card code from me in March 2022, and in that email I asked that person to “[p]lease let me know when you've used it”? Captain Stitch. You know who never replied to that to let me know if they used it? Captain freakin’ Stitch. I've had the card sitting at my desk for almost a whole month now because I don't want to toss it in the trash in case I mistranscribed the code. DID THE CODE WORK OR NOT, MAN?

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 43 Mid-Round Leaderboard

While it's not worth FIFTY United States Dollars, KoopaTV IS offering a Nintendo eShop card code worth TEN United States Dollars as the one and only prize for Round 43 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program. Here are the standings for everyone with a double-digit point value as of publishing (though if you have a single-digit value, including zero, it's still more than mathematically possible for you to achieve a first place victory):
  1. Captain Stitch — 40 points
  2. Lheticus Videre — 20 points
  3. Samantha Lienhard — 18 points
  4. sam — 14 points
There are many ways to get points. Check out that hyperlink at the start of this section for a whole table of point-getting methods. If you're determined to win... you can achieve it.

Corrections Corner; March 2022

Alright, there was a big mistake that I had to correct in March, as pointed out by Terchuy. I wrote in my article about the Kirby and the Forgotten Land demo that sliding isn't in the game and that the expanded movesets you'd find in many recent Kirby titles aren't a thing anymore. Terchuy remarked that the controls for sliding are basically the same as they were before (crouch and then press the jump button); but the slide action just isn't marked in the controls screen like it used to be.

Kirby Star Allies using Kirby controls jump inhale swallow slide

The rest of the moveset actions also aren't marked in the in-game pause menu. So Terchuy said that, if you're Sword Kirby and you slide (which already isn't an action the game tells you about), and then press jump during the slide, you'll do an upward jumping slash. And then if you attack while doing that jump, you'll descend to the ground with a sword dive attack too. Three actions that would've been noted in a game like Kirby Star Allies, but here there's zero indicators of that.

Kirby and the Forgotten Land control settings screen

All of that said, even though the game hid the information, I still published wrong and misinformed statements, so Terchuy got maximum Correction Corner points for it. It's very, very rare that that ever happens on KoopaTV. We apologise for the error.

(Also, Terchuy offered to write a guest article about how Copy Abilities in Kirby and the Forgotten Land are handled, and I'd like to read that.)

That's everything KoopaTV has to review from March 2022, and everything new that's happened that you should know about! What do you think? Again, don't feel pressured to donate (donating won't ever be a factor in, say, the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program). But you should feel pressured to share KoopaTV to your friends (referring people IS a factor to the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program). It's for your own good AND their own good.

Check out last month's February 2022 newsletter here!
Who won Round 43? Was there anything in the Corrections Corner? Find out in April 2022!
Last year's March 2021 newsletter is here. It was published on April 8, 2021.
By March 2023's newsletter, koopatv.eth ceased to exist.


  1. Quite surprised I got a Best Comment this time, let alone for that one. I didn't think it was that good really.

    1. I probably wouldn't have put it there if the second comment wasn't there. Clearly, I was influenced by gimmicks when picking things in this newsletter.

      I just wanted to highlight that you worded it the way you did.

  2. The code worked! Thanks much. I bought the entire boxboy collection. I don’t understand why they removed move details from the new Kirby game, but I’m more upset they removed pause screen lore. Yes some of it has been moved to the figurine collectibles, but by the time you get those you’ve already lost interest in the charecters story. It’s a lot more fun to know the character in the best of the moment, than to find out afterwards.

    1. Yay, I finally get to trash the card on my desk. Been over a month.


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