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Tuesday, March 8, 2022

MAR8 Day Brings... Marx Day. Yikes!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The second worst Marx in recorded history.

Why does Marx get a day (MAR 8 is MARX Day)...? The guy is a nut. ...And I mean this Marx:

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Marx laser boss shoop-da-woop

Alright, sometimes he looks a lot more friendly and innocent.

Kirby Super Star Milky Way Wishes opening intro cutscene Marx hey jester ball
Hello, hi, howdy.

Marx from Kirby Super Star (which you can play with a normal Nintendo Switch Online subscription) is a pretty popular guy. Even his Kirby Star Allies bio declares him to be famous. But let's go over why on his special day.

Marx appears as the normal jester on a ball above, greeting Kirby thrice. (Alternatively, he gives three different heys to the three of Kirby, Waddle Dee, and Poppy Bro. Jr. ...And ignores Bronto Burt.) And he tells Kirby (the only person there with power) that the sun and the moon are fighting, and the only way to stop that is to wish to the comet Nova that they stop fighting. Nova's wishes only being accessible by gathering the star power of the other planets.

Kirby then goes on a whole adventure, and if he's like me, forgets about Marx entirely because he doesn't appear ever again until the very end, where when Kirby is about to articulate his wish (which is difficult because Kirby talks in cute noises and not words), Marx comes in and declares his wish for power over Planet Popstar. And so he gets it. APPARENTLY he's the one that caused the sun and the moon to fight to begin with, though how this could possibly happen before Marx had acquired power is never explained. ...So it's a stupid and inexplicable plan dependent on luck. Apparently, once Marx gets power over Planet Popstar, Nova is sent out of orbit and will crash into and destroy said planet (how does Marx plan to conquer and rule over the planet if it's obliterated?), until the sun and the moon stop fighting (why did they stop fighting when Kirby didn't get his wish for them to stop fighting?) and hold Nova still so Kirby can blow it up and fight Marx after.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Marx Black Hole face split in half space
Reminder that Masahiro Sakurai literally has said, “Marx [is] creepy in an uncanny sort of way. Actually, this character was initally a lot creepier.
He wasn't suitable for all audiences. So we had to soften it.
Personally, I wish we could've made him a bit creepier.”
Also reminder that Masahiro Sakurai doesn't feel fear.

Kirby defeated Marx, and that's all we heard from him. ...Until Kirby Super Star Ultra where there is a secret non-canon alternative ending for Marx that... kinda doesn't change the final outcome of things. And then he appears in Kirby Star Allies and pretends that all didn't really happen. But, hey, he's playable there as a Dream Friend, and he certainly feels like a boss. (And ends up being one... during the credits.)

Later Kirby games will give their stand-out new character of the game a lot more... presence. Marx is less relevant in Kirby Super Star than, like, the Computer Virus. ...And he of course doesn't compare to the best character of Kirby Super Star: Captain Vul!

I think Elfilin has more dialogue in the Kirby and the Forgotten Land demo than Marx has in the entirety of Kirby Super Star Ultra. It's... less interesting dialogue, I guess, but at least it makes sense? But I'll talk more about that demo pretty soon on KoopaTV, so look out for that!

Ludwig apparently just trashed Marx for most of the MARX DAY MAR8 article. But that's not really different than how he'd write about Mario on MAR10 Day, which is unfortunately also coming up this week!

KoopaTV struggled to come up with substantive content for MAR8 Day 2023.


  1. I’ll assume the first worst marx in recorded history your talking about is Groucho Marx. To which I would take great offense as he is a comedic legend.

    I’ve always wondered if the sun and moon in superstar were also Mr.Bright and Mr.Shine. Usually they fight against Kirby and when one gets “defeated” they jump back up Into the sky and rain attacks down from there occasionally. I suppose if they were to fight each other, then whoever won the fight would just continue fighting that own that tries to hide up in the sky until they eventually killed em for good.

    Which of course only makes Marx even more evil as he’s the one who got them to fight.I suppose the lesson here is that you don’t need absolute power to be a master manipulator.


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