Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 69: Finalia, Fitness Master Edition

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's the very last world of Ring Fit Adventure. Like, for real this time. THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM.

This is it. Today, this KoopaTV Fitness Friday... will probably be the last KoopaTV Fitness Friday. I will document my adventures through World 69: Fitness Master Lv. 392 of Ring Fit Adventure. This should be fairly obvious, but... this will contain spoilers for how the game ends. ...On its third playthrough. Which will share a lot of similarities for how it ended on the second playthrough, World 46: Extra Fitness Lv. 284.

I'm already ~65 levels above what's recommended.
Why is Ring Fit Adventure outright telling me to grind for experience points?
The time for that is over. Now we're in the last world. It's time to win.

First of all, when we got to World 69, Ring commented that Dragaux's energy is... radiating from the Dragaux Stadium. Therefore, we need to grind for levels and make sure we're confident in our ability to beat him for the zillionth time. ...And second of all, I got a notification that all of the games’ catalogs have been completed. I HAVE COLLECTED EVERYTHING IN THE GAME. (Except for all of the Titles.)

With everything done, nothing else really matters at this point.

And third of all... now we can see what the Metallic Neuron looks like. This is the super special fashionable outfit we received at the very end of World 68 last week. Here's a photo collection:

Golden light take over MY WHOLE BODY.
Instead of having a shirt or something, the Top for the Metallic Neuron is literally Ring's head.

UM. YIKES???? Besides... looking like Ring but in human form (and that's never good), the Metallic Neuron has no special ability and it has the same stats as any III-level outfit. I...think it counts as a joke. Rather than having a game-end game-breaking thing, we get this hideous awful outfit. ...Ugggh.

I actually started play on Saturday night before the fifth GameFAQs Board 8 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tournament began, so I went to the first available Stadium Grounds, which was an obstacle course of river rowing and a Mini Dragaux Statue at the end. At this point, I have... more smoothies than I can possibly use still in my inventory, so I'm just going to use attack-increasing smoothies in every fight from now on to make things go faster. I went to the two Stadium Barricades off of this first Stadium Grounds—they both have one full Dragaux Statue with miniboss music. I'm not wearing the EXP +5% outfits to these fights; I wore the Volt Contender III to the first and the Peacock Contender III to the second for their +5% damage boosts to Yellow and Green Fit Skills, respectively. With Green, I just spammed Chair Pose until the statue fell apart in five turns. For Yellow... well, there's a whole variety of Fit Skills there. But I ended Saturday night with those three courses complete. But there are many more...

Playing more on Sunday—I did vacuum-clean the whole castle for about two hours prior, including the rug that I exercise on. (That itself is very tiring and a form of exercise.) We have several Stadium Grounds to clear. First is the one east of the warp portal/Gold Hoplin fight I'm ignoring for now. It has a lot of conveyor belts, ending with a fight with a Mini Dragaux Statue and two Dark Protean Shakers that failed to shake up my Fit Skill effectiveness. The Stadium Grounds north of the warp zone has conveyor belts too... but the gimmick are the giant push blocks going down them. Its one enemy fight are two Dark Matta Rays plus a Mini Dragaux Statue. Finally, the last Stadium Grounds is immediately west of the final stage (and northeast of the warp portal) which features the very unique and cinematic flight segment where you need to flap against powerful winds coming out of a stone Dragaux head, until you fly to a floating island inhabited by TWO Mini Dragaux Statues that we gotta fight simultaneously. But I did so. I can do the final boss now, but...

Instead I went to that warp portal (and wiped out the five Gold Hoplins guarding it—AND I got the Bow-Pull Sharpshooter Title because I got over 3000 reps of Bow Pull, which means I've maxed that out! It also means I have the Titles for every five-range Fit Skill in the game... except for Overhead Squat) because over half of the world's content is in this warp area. There are two halves of it: north (accessed by Last Lookout, east of the warp portal) and south (Hindmost Highway). Both halves have two overworld Treasure Chests and an overworld Hoplin fight. South has this world's Battle Gym and Fitness Gym and another course besides the highway, while north has two other courses besides the Lookout and two Game Gyms. Clearly I should do north and south on different days.

We're here to... BOOST OUR LEVEL.

But I went to Last Lookout today (Sunday). And... that's it because I'm too tired to keep doing more. Last Lookout was another derivative level with the tower climbing and flight segment we saw all the way back at Quizton's North Road.

I continued on Monday! First, some Overhead Hip Shakes for an effortless level up from dispatching the northern Rare Hoplin group of five. Then, the course behind them: Closing Coaster. The local monsters continue to be Dark, meaning there's no elemental weakness and therefore no bias on which Fit Skills to bring. The level itself isn't notable... just a lot of squat-powered railcarts. Next I went east to the overworld Treasure Chest and got a Zircon, plus access to Aerochute (Advanced). Somehow, I just NOW got a PERFECT score on Aerochute (Advanced)—4900 points. (Though the qualifications for S rank are lower than perfect.) For my valiant efforts, I earned a Tropical Smoothie as a reward, which greatly increases the attack power of all four Fit Skill types in one drink. West of that is the Smack Back (Advanced) Game Gym, where I pwned it with another perfect score of 10,700 points (though I've previously attained this) and earned 500 coins. Feeling great, I... briefly had a bathroom break, and then went to the Ultimate Hollow course. You're primarily flying through that with many abdominal presses, only landing to fight the two obligatory monster groups. ...But it's fine. I can handle it! And then I got the second northern overworld Treasure Chest with five Pink Grapefruits.

I really don't know why I never got a perfect score in Aerochute (Advanced) up to this point. Or why so many people have trouble with it.
But I still can't get whatever the minimum requirement for an S rank in Core Crushing (Advanced) is.

...I can definitely do more today. So I went to the Hindmost Highway to start the southern half of the warp area. A lot less flying than the previous level and slightly more running. No biggie. I then wiped out the five Gold Hoplins from the overworld, and... decided to finish the day by clearing the Irrevocable River. More than what I was otherwise expecting to accomplish. Unlike some other levels in this world and this game, there indeed is a river and you row through it extensively. Three more levels left in the game.

I picked Ring Fit Adventure up again on Wednesday. I have two levels to clear today. First, the Fitness Gym... and the overworld Treasure Chest containing a Strength Drink in front of the Fitness Gym. Featured here is the incredibly difficult Back Set.

1. Hip Lift (x30)—This is... a rather poor start. I've seen video(s) of personal trainers say that Hip Lift is the best Fit Skill (exercise-wide) in Ring Fit Adventure, and I gotta disagree. I was very anxious the whole time that the Ring-Con was going to fly out from between my knees because there's nothing holding it steady and something could easily go wrong. And... my scores ranged all over the place since Fit Skills based on Leg Strap placement are inherently unreliable. Which brings us to...
2. Plank (x30)—That same personal trainer on YouTube says that Plank is the worst Fit Skill in Ring Fit Adventure, and it's definitely one of the worst. I dunno about THE worst but top five, sure. (Ironically, I've said the worst is Hip Lift in terms of technical design because it puts physical danger to your Ring-Con.) The reason is that you're not even doing real planks because of how much the game expects you to shoot your butt up. Good thing the rug is clean or I'd inhale all the dust off my rug.
   
3. Overhead Bend (x30)—This is the last Satoru Iwata reference we'll get in this game. 30 Iwata-bows down.
4. Overhead Side Bend (x30)—This one isn't even a real Fit Skill in Adventure Mode, though you can select it in Custom Mode. I guess because of this it has unique “Down to the left!” and “Down to the right!” commands, though Ring doesn't vocalise those.
5. Chair Pose (x16)—I...still need to get the Title for this. I guess I'll be using it a lot on the final boss then. It's not a hard pose to do and I want to do it.
6. Warrior III Pose (x28)—My core and back are still good enough I'm able to stand on one leg and bend down, sure.

Overhead Side Bend is masquerading as a Fit Skill in Custom Mode, but it's not something you can do in Adventure Mode.
It only makes appearances to control the occasional trolley section, as well as the Gluting Gallery minigame.

As my reward for completing the Back Set with an A rank or higher (97 points in 12:07 in-game time, and...about 20 minutes or so in real life), I got... a Zircon stone. And now for the last thing today... the Battle Gym. Featuring SEVEN waves of high-durability Dark enemies. Notably, the enemies were in groups of one to three for the first five waves, making three-range Fit Skills (of any colour, though round four has a Dark Protean Shaker that might make colour matter if you choose not to use smoothies—but no reason to, since this is the LAST WORLD and why should you not use your inventory?) the optimal choice. But still bring one five-range Fit Skill for wave six! ...And I chose Russian Twist, just to mess with people who think that Fit Skill should be boycotted. You'll want that for the final round, too. And after sixteen turns and an S rank score at the Battle Gym, I levelled up to level 464 AND got the Frictionless Hinge Poser (the highest title awarded for doing at least 2000 Hinge Poses) and Front-Press Champion (the best title awarded for doing at least 3000 Front Presses) Titles. And I won a Defense Drink from the gym and 500 coins from the last overworld Treasure Chest in this game.

All that's left now is the final boss. It seems like Dragaux's new strategy this time is the power of... love?!

Dragaux? LOVE? Yikes! Dragaux is going to give me 690 worlds worth of energy in one fight?!
I only have Ring by my side, and if he had guts, I'd hate them!

It's time. Friday. Last day. LAST COURSE OF THE LAST WORLD. I'm level 464. I'm more than capable! The game advises I can complete this in just 18 minutes. The stadium portion consists of a lot of platforming and jumping off squat-activated springs. I brought the Volt Contender III for the battle (there's no way I'm bringing the Metallic Neuron), but also ate a Milk Pudding to make dashing and knee lifts easier, to whatever extent that helps. Well, it did help, because after the rowing segment and the flight segment was a long bunch of stairs. Into Dragaux being amazed that I've done this THREE TIMES NOW. But he vows he's the strongest he's ever been.

Yeah, I did. I wouldn't recommend any of you reading this do the same.

And now the fight starts. And I'm ready with a ton of smoothies. So I can hit Dragaux with a ↑↑, super-effective Fit Skill plus an additional Rush attack every turn. Dragaux started the fight going Red, so my Overhead Press + Rush Lift knocked out his whole first HP bar of... four? And he did less than one quarter of one heart back. Next turn? He was still Red, so I lopped off another whole health bar. He got mad and did a SUPER ATTACK where he jumped back to throw giant boulders at me I had to break with air blasts. He threw one at a time, so... really easy. Then he turned to Yellow Dragaux and I lopped off his third health bar with one Seated Ring Raise + Pedal Rush. Dragaux only has some of his last health bar left so he jumped back to punch wooden crates at me (four at a time) with a super wimpy SUPER ATTACK that I also got to tear with air blasts. He returned to the foreground and turned to Blue Dragaux, where I beat him with Thigh Press + Thigh Press Rush... but plot armour let him stay at 1 HP despite several barrages of thighs. With his invincible last sliver of HP, Dragaux spammed THREE SUPER ATTACKS IN A ROW. One was a minute of a giant red energy punch I had to Overhead Press against for 60 seconds. Then he tried to crush me with his giant yellow energy six-pack that I had to Leg Raise against for 60 seconds. And last... and the most difficult, Dragaux tried to step on me with a giant blue energy three-toed foot that I had to Overhead Squat against for another excruciating 60 seconds. Did deflecting that remove Dragaux's plot armour?

There's no canon reason why this transformation into Dark Dragaux happened again.
Unless Dragaux is just doing it on purpose by now.
Which is bad, because he's not supposed to be able to control this and it's supposed to create harm to the locals.

...No, because with no dialogue at all, Dragaux transformed into Dark Dragaux and gained FIVE new HP bars while undoing my smoothie buffs (besides money-doubling and EXP-doubling). At this point, we're approaching the 19-minute mark, so the game's time recommendation is total FAKE NEWS. Dark Dragaux also gained an awesome new soundtrack (well, the same one as when we fought him two times earlier). Now he has no weakness, but I have... smoothies. Like 10 Orange Almond Milks that give me a guaranteed rush AND an extra turn. However, you can't endlessly chain these together. Only one until Dark Dragaux gets a move. Still, with two Seated Ring Raises and a Pedal Rush, Dark Dragaux lost about... one and a third health bars? And he barely did anything in return with his double hand slash. I wanted to use another kind of Fit Skill that isn't already Abs, like Chair Pose that I promised I would, so I ate an Apricot Smoothie to artificially change the colours of all of my Fit Skills to yellow. This is to get the Volt Contender III's 5% boost. Two Chair Poses + Thigh Press Rush put Dark Dragaux at half health (minus two and a half total health bars), and so he used another... SUPER ATTACK. Which is belching out some kind of icky substance at me while I had to MEGA AB GUARD for a whole minute, which involves a wide squat plus pushing the Ring-Con into my stomach. And...um... I ended up kinda sitting down on the floor while clutching the Ring-Con into my abdomen instead of maintaining a real squat. After, Dragaux put a stop to my shenanigans by flashing his eyes and prohibiting access to my smoothie inventory. And when Dragaux got to his last health bar, he mumbled about his muscles, jumped back, and was breathing out green fire balls I had to douse with air blasts for his seventh and final SUPER ATTACK. These move much faster than wooden crates and are smaller, and do half a heart of fixed damage per impact. ...So, I mean, I could just tank most of these and still come out fine!

I defeated Dark Dragaux and he dropped... a Zircon. Wow. Even now? Then I got enough EXP to reach level 467. Plus I got the Enlightened Seated Ring Raiser Title for accomplishing over 5000 Seated Ring Raises! The sky stopped being dark and somehow the Four Masters materialised out of Dragaux's body and became whole people, without a sign of being eaten up. Dragaux and the Four Masters said that my fitness level is way past their fitness level, and... Ring said that he and I are the greatest training partners of all time. Cue credits.

I'd be lying if I said I WOULD miss you, Ring.
You're antagonistic, obnoxious, and I hate that the final outfit in the game turns me into you.

After that, Tipp gave me my final stats and said I finished everything in Fitness Master. 100%ed all of the worlds. So what's there to do left? Well, my 229 Titles aren't all of the Titles in the game. And I can still do Custom Mode and exercise without adventuring. Well, I COULD still play Adventure Mode. The option exists. There's just nothing new to do there content-wise.

This represents 100%ing all of the game's content.
Though there are still things I haven't done, mainly get every Title.
But that'll never happen, because I don't plan to Overhead Squat that many times.

I guess I was being very cautious in starting Week 69 on Saturday night. I totally could've done this starting Sunday.

I spent ~186 minutes in World 46 but only ~157 in World 69. Smoothies make a difference.
Use them. Drink them.

My Switch says I've played Ring Fit Adventure for 310 hours or more, though my in-game stat summary comes out to this, which is everything going back all the way to week 1:

That's... it, really. Ludwig has one idea for one piece of future Ring Fit Adventure content, but other than that... Guess you'll have to wait for a sequel? Let Ludwig know in the comments if you think he should try to maintain activity and do exercises off-screen. Otherwise he's... going to quickly go back to being out-of-shape and then it'll be questionable if any of this was worth it!


Ludwig ranked all twelve Game Gym minigames in this tier list article!