Time to do two things: One, de-mystify KoopaTV with an About page that will be maintained. And two, combine our perfectly good existing "About KoopaTV" page with our sorely lacking "About Us" page into one, to save some space for those page tabs at the top of the site.
Oh, and three: We're gonna keep a TIMELINE here of KoopaTV! Now you can follow key events without hassle!
Last Update: 8/20/2019
What is KoopaTV?KoopaTV is a videogame commentary story that updates about five times a week. Every article is essentially an op-ed on some topic involving the videogame industry, many times with a political slant. KoopaTV has a rotating cast of columnists, whom you can read about below.
What Kind of Content Does KoopaTV Provide?KoopaTV's articles fall into several different categories, listed here in terms of commonality and significance:
For the most part, the articles you'll be reading on KoopaTV are written by KoopaTV's staff members. Makes sense, right?
The meat & potatoes (that means common, standard, and fillingly scrumptious) of KoopaTV. Gaming Commentary articles provide you the author's perspective on a gaming industry topic, be it an event, news, a game, or something else that is happening that is gaming-related.
When KoopaTV decides that an event needs immediate coverage, like a Nintendo Direct or E3, KoopaTV's staff turns to the reaction log. The staff gets together and messages in our instant messaging client as the event is happening, with the article being the resulting log peppered by screenshots. These are unfiltered, unscripted, raw reactions that really tell you how we actually feel. Reaction logs also give you the opportunity to see how the staff interacts with one another, since those group dynamics aren't seen in normal articles. It builds personality!
You could call this Miscellaneous, if you want. General articles are commentary articles that are predominantly about a non-gaming topic. On KoopaTV, these are most often political topics with not much gaming application, but other topics may be covered as well, such as general culture or even other forms of media.
The Artistic Corner is where KoopaTV's staff dedicates article space to some very creative pursuit, such as a YouTube video, a fan-fiction, a poem, a song, a drawing, or even a videogame or videogame's strategy guide. This category can be quite varied!
The Enlightenment Movement refers to the intellectual underpinnings of basic Koopa philosophy, proclaiming the goodness of Koopa Kingdom and the evils of the plumber Mario. KoopaTV's staff has been creating Enlightenment Movement content since the early NSider days of the early-mid 2000s, before anyone else on the Internet. The goal is to educate people on what is really going on. These are some of the best articles on the site, and often make analogies to what is going on in the human world so KoopaTV's readers can better relate to KoopaTV's points. Because they take a lot of work to make, they are infrequent.
This is our category dedicated to when our staffers hold live streams on game-streaming platforms like Twitch or Mixer. Often, we'll leave a video-on-demand behind of the stream if you missed it live, and we may also provide some clips.
Occasionally, a KoopaTV staffer will have the opportunity to interview someone else for some purpose. Those interviews go to this category. Since KoopaTV tends to be pretty insular, these are rare, and most of them involve interviewing a company's customer support, but some actually talk to real people you might care about.
Very rarely, a KoopaTV staff member will go through the effort of writing a complete review of some product — it might not even be a videogame. KoopaTV will write a review of something if it serves the site's agenda. You can get a lot of opinions on products by reading Gaming Commentary articles. Reviews seek to be in-depth and evaluating each part of a product.
The KoopaTV category is for articles about the site itself, such as site updates and site features. It also houses KoopaTV's monthly review newsletters, which provide those updates along with other news about KoopaTV you should know.
If you wish to contribute to KoopaTV by writing a guest post, click here. Here are the two categories you might fall into:
CURRENT KOOPATV STAFF:
Ludwig Von Koopa
|Ludwig Von Koopa.|
Nowadays, with no more NSider, I've still been keeping up my anti-plumber activism, but I've also been espousing my far-right political beliefs too. (Which were also on NSider if you looked close enough.)
One vehicle for that is the (fair & balanced) KoopaTV, which is a videogame version of former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain's "Best of Cain" site, formerly called "CainTV". KoopaTV is all about the dual values of truth and levity. We publish multiple high-quality articles every week, and we are proud of our “infotainment” status.
I basically provide you what my favourite videogames are here. With some notable exemptions.
There are also other KoopaTV staff members.
Kamek has been part of Koopa Keep since its founding in 2004, and has been a good, loyal member since. Incidentally, in Events of Star World's Koopa Keep-based Side Story, he served as the main villain. His NSider username was ULTRALINK1000.
Kamek has become known for having a really sexy voice. He occasionally live-streams games on his Twitch.
Wendy O. Koopa
|Wendy O. Koopa.|
This is the Princess of Koopa Kingdom, Wendy O. Koopa. She's bossy and outspoken, but in terms of KoopaTV's contributions she will be working behind the scenes as KoopaTV's Digital Graphics Producer. Wendy was also a member of Koopa Keep, known for her cunning and access to top-secret resources. Well, we know what they are, but you don't. If you did, they wouldn't be a secret.
She was known on NSider as FENIRKNIGHT and was also a member of Koopa Keep since 2004.
Wendy is also the administrator of KoopaTV's Discord server. She also live-streams occasionally.
Rawk's undisciplined nature results in him being at odds with the rest of the KoopaTV staff at many times. He left KoopaTV in February 2014 (to return April 2014) and then again in December 2014, finally returning in January 2015. He left once again in September 2015, but came back in May 2016.
Rawk promises to be focusing on audiovisual content for KoopaTV. It's as if he wants the name of the site to mean something.
The Witch Princess
The Witch Princess loved causing trouble in the Harvest Moon universe, but now she is on KoopaTV to cause trouble! What drew her to KoopaTV is unclear, but one thing's for sure: she despises that pesky Harvest Goddess (and those pesky plumbers)!
Witch Princess is now making a name for herself by writing short stories for our amusement.
KILLED IN ACTION
Devin was one of KoopaTV's mascots, and the son of Noxial. He stars in the TV Troopas Wall Clock, and played Ike.
Devin was killed in action when Noxial took him to the Middle East. ISIS trapped him inside a stolen Winged Blue Shell and detonated it.
Claira was the second of KoopaTV's mascots, and was the daughter of Noxial. She stars in the TV Troopas Wall Clock. She played Abraham Lincoln.
Claira was killed in action when Pac-Man ate her whole as retaliation for KoopaTV's repeated screeds against Pac-Man.
While Vortexica was never a Koopa Keep member, he was still an NSider member and was a fan of Events of Star World, becoming close to Ludwig through that. Vortexica is also British and not a Koopa. Vortex's NSider username was VORTEX-878.
Vortexica has become known for constantly being under the threat of the many terrorist attacks in the United Kingdom. This makes him disappear for long stretches of time. As a result, he is currently believed to be dead, through years of cumulative attacks from terrorists and Koopa Kingdom enemies such as Cappy.
FORMER KOOPATV STAFF:
...And then he changed. YoshiRider123 no longer rode Yoshis. More concerning was that he stopped being funny. Well, that's... tolerable, I guess, but he became against being funny or even friendly. In due time, he sold out KoopaTV for unclear reasons we love to speculate on, and we fired him.
Noxial was KoopaTV's social media manager, being our first hire of 2015. She is the mother of Devin and Claira, KoopaTV's spokesturtles across various forms of social media. She is an avid animal lover and was never on NSider, proving that anyone can be hired at KoopaTV.
Unfortunately, she became radicalised and joined the Islamic State soon after being hired... in fact, she only did her job for less than a week before leaving. She took Devin and several Koopa Kingdom munitions with her, and left Claira to die as food for Pac-Man.
Roxy joined KoopaTV at the end of 2016. She is a graduate of Sierra Leone's prestigious Fourah Bay College, and is the only KoopaTV staff member with a degree in journalism. Roxy is dedicating her life to fighting the scourge of Fake News on the Internet.
Roxy did not previously have an NSider account, and she also didn't know any of the staffers before joining KoopaTV. She is also the first KoopaTV staffer to appear in one of KoopaTV's videogames, being the newscaster that delivers the results of each primary election in The Wonderful 1237. She was not voiced by herself, however.
Roxy left KoopaTV at the end of 2017 to pursue a career at the BBC.
THE KOOPATV PHILOSOPHY:As I said in my own section, KoopaTV combines information and entertainment into one high-quality product. What does it mean to be high quality? It is high in both levity and in truth. That means our goal is to get you to laugh, but also to have you informed. What does it mean to be high quality in "truth"? We vet the information we provide you, or drudge it up ourselves. In other words, you can trust us that the information we give you is accurate. That is very important and a priority! It's our goal that you can consistently rely on us. Since we are writers by trade, it's not enough to just read one KoopaTV article, or even ten, to get our full narrative. It is an on-going process of understanding, and it really is enriching to be a hooked reader.
We have several other sub-philosophies as well. Since we are a commentary website, we believe strongly in freedom of speech and of the press, and will not tolerate censorship. There are also strong values our individual staff members hold that may permeate their respective works.
We believe in being Fair & Balanced:
|The centroid is -.002, -1.965, or economically centrist and socially slightly libertarian.|
(That's...a little out of date.)
A KOOPATV TIMELINE OF (Important) EVENTSWe might change this into a visual later, but that's a pain to make modular so you get a bullet list instead.
- May 12, 2013: KoopaTV is launched. Ludwig, Rawk, Kamek, and YoshiRider are part of the staff.
- May 29, 2013: KoopaTV's first politically-charged article. Ludwig confesses to his neo-Confederate leanings.
- June 4, 2013: KoopaTV gets the genius idea to have a Terms Index to make navigation a breeze.
- June 6, 2013: KoopaTV begins its quest for the truth on EA's Madden Curse movie.
- June 27, 2013: KoopaTV reveals that it has the capability to design and program its own games.
- July 8, 2013: KoopaTV then reveals its obsession with George Zimmerman.
- August 16, 2013: KoopaTV begins Punch-Out!! Week.
- August 23, 2013: KoopaTV releases its first game, Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!. It's a free, flash-based Punch-Out!! parody.
- October 13, 2013: KoopaTV opens its Twitter account.
- October 16, 2013: KoopaTV writes to President Barack Hussein Obama and every member of Congress.
- December 10, 2013: The Terms Index is no longer supported because Blogger exploded from the length. KoopaTV loses navigational ability.
- December 20, 2013: KoopaTV declares war on the restrictive videogame forum, NeoGAF.
- December 23, 2013: President Barack Hussein Obama responds.
- January 7, 2014: KoopaTV begins its campaign to lobby for Nintendo to change its eShop policy for purchasing M-rated eShop games.
- February 3, 2014: KoopaTV takes a
vacationhiatus following RawkHawk2010's leave of absence.
- March 6, 2014: KoopaTV ends its hiatus.
- April 1, 2014: KoopaTV changes its focus to a left-wing, progressive site. ...For a day.
- April 14, 2014: KoopaTV begins its war against the #Miiquality movement over Tomodachi Life.
- April 25, 2014: KoopaTV tries to make ends meet with advertisements.
- May 2, 2014: Ludwig figures out the Nintendo-sponsored workaround for the eShop policy problem.
- May 12, 2014: KoopaTV turns one year old!
- June 4, 2014: KoopaTV's last attack on the #Miiquality movement, for comparing Nintendo to Uganda.
- June 23, 2014: KoopaTV publishes the interview for the site's inspiration, Herman Cain.
- July 15, 2014: KoopaTV fires YoshiRider123.
- July 21, 2014: KoopaTV holds its first contest, the KoopaTV Guest-Posting Contest!
- August 11, 2014: KoopaTV publishes its academic study on ESRB ratings across consoles.
- September 3, 2014: KoopaTV formally opens up to having affiliate sites.
- September 18, 2014: The KoopaTV Facebook account is defunct.
- September 22, 2014: As a result, KoopaTV opens its Tumblr presence.
- October 31, 2014: KoopaTV's staff all get Ebola.
- December 8, 2014: RawkHawk2010 is put on unpaid administrative leave, putting the KoopaTV staff at two.
- December 12, 2014: KoopaTV gets its definitive answer on the Madden Curse scandal.
- December 22, 2014: Vortexica joins KoopaTV's staff, Ebola-free. KoopaTV's staff increases back to 3 members.
- December 24, 2014: KoopaTV releases its second KoopaTV-branded videogame, Defend Anita Sarkeesian. This is a spiritual sequel to Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian.
- January 7, 2015: RawkHawk2010 rejoins the staff (staff count = 4), and KoopaTV finally gets some kind of advertisement video.
- February 14, 2015: Noxial joins the staff as KoopaTV's social media manager! She brings with her Claira and Devin, KoopaTV's very own spokesturtles and de-facto mascots. This makes KoopaTV's staff go up to 7!
- February 27, 2015: KoopaTV establishes its Loyalty Rewards Program.
- March 27, 2015: KoopaTV reveals that Noxial has joined the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.
- April 1, 2015: KoopaTV opens a Myspace account, but it's apparently a joke.
- April 10, 2015: First Let's Play of a KoopaTV game, Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, by YouTuber Jareditton.
- May 12, 2015: KoopaTV now turns TWO years old! That's two years with no cease & desist!
- May 25, 2015: KoopaTV reveals what happened to Claira and Devin.
- July 3, 2015: KoopaTV switches to a new domain name: www.koopatv.org!
- July 20, 2015: KoopaTV enlists the services of Princess Wendy O. Koopa to be KoopaTV's graphic designer. The Koopas on KoopaTV's staff finally make a majority.
- August 2, 2015: Defend Anita Sarkeesian has been removed from Scratch for violation of the site's rules, rendering it unhosted.
- September 3, 2015: RawkHawk2010 has disappeared once again indefinitely, reportedly off to join an ethnic minority dancing troupe after losing a bet to Ludwig.
- October 2, 2015: KoopaTV takes its first staff photo!
- December 31, 2015: KoopaTV releases its third videogame, Capture the Confederate Flag.
- April 1, 2016: Wendy and Ludwig get sick from Zika Virus while in Brazil.
- April 11, 2016: Ludwig and Wendy come back to Koopa Kingdom after escaping Brazil.
- May 4, 2016: RawkHawk2010 comes back.
- May 12, 2016: KoopaTV turns THREE years old! Wow!
- June 6, 2016: Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders writes a guest article.
- October 12, 2016: Vortexica launches KoopaTV Adventures, a photo comic video series.
- November 1, 2016: KoopaTV announces that if Hillary Clinton won the election, KoopaTV would end.
- December 22, 2016: KoopaTV hires Roxy as a news correspondent, for six staffers!
- December 23, 2016: KoopaTV releases its fourth videogame, The Wonderful 1237.
- February 1, 2017: KoopaTV announces a switch to a three-articles-per-week format.
- March 12, 2017: KoopaTV writes a letter to the president to abolish Daylight Savings Time, continuing the site's long-standing opposition to it.
- May 1, 2017: KoopaTV announces a switch back to the five-articles-per-week format.
- May 12, 2017: KoopaTV has now turned four years old, and was offering food.
- May 23, 2017: Vortexica has been declared missing after the Manchester terrorism attack.
- July 7, 2017: KoopaTV declares a meme war against CNN.
- August 14, 2017: KoopaTV's Sierra Leonean headquarters and staffers survive a mudslide.
- October 24, 2017: A five-person live reaction log that occurs in KoopaTV's Discord server for the first time. Using AIM for reaction logs has stopped.
- November 23, 2017: KoopaTV lost its sixth staff member, Roxy, as she left the organisation to pursue other opportunities.
- December 22, 2017: KoopaTV releases its fifth videogame, Soviet Missile Run.
- April 1, 2018: Trojan Bowser takes over KoopaTV's publishing, and declares KoopaTV to be shutting down in favour of a new organisation, LaboTV.
- April 20, 2018: KoopaTV declares war against the Nintendo Labo because it tried to kill KoopaTV under a false premise.
- May 14, 2018: KoopaTV celebrates our five-year anniversary, and yellows the site's colour scheme.
- June 29, 2018: Vortexica is believed to be legally deceased and killed in action.
- September 10, 2018: KoopaTV has hired Witch Princess to be a content writer!
- November 12, 2018: KoopaTV moved to a new publishing format where each staffer has a dedicated day, and KoopaTV also created the Game Streams category.
- August 20, 2019: KoopaTV publishes a Corporate Social Responsibility for the first time, and promises to keep it updated.
What that timeline doesn't mention? Hundreds and hundreds of articles of amazing gaming commentary, seven years of live-reacting to all the big E3 events and Nintendo Directs, a lot of artistic contributions, and many more awesome things.
This timeline — and page — will be updated as time goes on, of course.
If you have any questions about KoopaTV, this is the place to put 'em.
For the old "About Us" page that was KoopaTV's first article, click here.
For the old "About KoopaTV" page that is considered more artistic than informative, click here.
For our "Contact Info", click here.