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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Terror in Manchester, UK! ...Hey, Where's Vortexica?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If only we could talk with him ONE LAST TIME...

Tonight, United Kingdom prime minister Theresa May raised the terrorist threat level of her country to CRITICAL, up from SEVERE. Another attack, not counting the Manchester Arena terrorist attack (done by a guy named Salman Ramadan Abedi — I wonder which church he goes to?) that you'll hear about if you turn on the news (i.e. not KoopaTV), is IMMINENT. Scary. It doesn't get any higher than CRITICAL. Just because critical hits got nerfed in the Pokémon series a few years ago doesn't mean this is any less serious.

At the same time, this doesn't affect KoopaTV happily sitting by at our Sierra Leone headquarters.

Wait, what's that? KoopaTV staffer and British correspondent Vortexica hasn't shown up at our quarterly meetings? Well, WHERE THE HELL IS HE? ...Oh no... Oh no...

Monday, May 22, 2017

GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming: Round 5 — THE FINALS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The death match between 2001 and 1998.

Throughout this month of May, KoopaTV has been covering the GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming contest. This contest sought to poll the Internet (this year, mostly just GameFAQs users — but in previous years there were rallies have caught Internet-wide popularity and massive vote totals) on which year in the gaming industry was... THE BEST.

After getting through a Wildcard round, Round 1, Round 2, Round 3, and Round 4... we're finally at Round 5. In a 32 + 4 entrant 1v1 tournament, that's the final round.

GameFAQs The Best Year in Gaming Round 5 The Finals KoopaTV
Our gratuitous banner has the propaganda directly put on it!

It's 2001 vs. 1998. Vote for 2001. Please? Right here, today, on Monday.

I'll convince you why.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valencia... is Still Fire Emblem: Gaiden

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The same Fire Emblem: Gaiden that is really weird and no one appreciated.

Today, Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valencia came out in North America. (Recall the Fire Emblem Direct.) This game is a pretty faithful remake of Fire Emblem Gaiden, also known as the second game in the Fire Emblem series that came out on the Famicom and was exclusive to Japan. Like many NES-era sequels, it was weird and really different from the first game (think Zelda II: The Adventure of Link), and it was less a sequel and more of literally a side-story. And then the third game in the Fire Emblem series included a remake of the whole first game in it, and it's weird how that whole thing turned out.

Anyway, I've been around many Fire Emblem discussions and message boards prior to the release of Fire Emblem: Awakening. I've come across lots of forum topics along the lines of, “Rank all the games in the Fire Emblem series from best to worst.” Now, random forum-goers can have lots of bad opinions, but Fire Emblem Gaiden tended to be in a lower-tier or some sort of question mark tier.

Many Western Fire Emblem fans, not having access to many of the Fire Emblem games through legal localised channels, played the “missing” games through unapproved methods. Favourites of these included Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade (the one with Roy, and the closest to Fire Emblem 2003 which was in America), Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, and for the really hardcore, Fire Emblem: Thracia 776.

Not many people sought out Fire Emblem Gaiden. But now, with faithful remake Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valencia? There's revisionist expectations.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Sonic Forces: Custom Hero — Brilliant, or Disaster?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The logical response versus the gut, emotional one.

The world is ending! Oh no!

...Unrelated to that: You can play Sonic Forces (releasing Holiday 2017 for Xbox One, the PlayStation 4, the PC... and even the Nintendo Switch) and create your own custom hero. 

There's a lot to analyse and consider in that 96-second trailer, and also some things not in it to analyse and consider. In summary, leading up to this trailer, people thought the following about Sonic Forces: It would feature, much like Sonic Generations, “modern Sonic” (the thinner, taller one), “classic Sonic” (the chubbier one), and an unknown new hero. It would take place in a darker future, with the Sonics and new dude (the hero the world needs) being part of “the resistance”, which places the game as SEGA's interpretation of a near-future featuring President Donald John Trump as Doctor Eggman, and hedgehogs as Hillary Clinton's resistance.
Hell, Hillary Clinton even speaks of “the resistance” as not just against President Donald John Trump, but also against robotics and artificial intelligence, which are things that Doctor ROBOTnik is known for. (I'll use whatever name of his fits the puns better.)
However, this new dude isn't just Hillary Clinton. It's you (...she's not reading this site, is she?)... or whatever your imagination has (possibly including Hillary Clinton)! And you can put them in seven different species, according to IGN and a bunch of other sites:

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to the ARMS Direct!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring North Korea launching nuclear arms on Nintendo's Japanese headquarters. ...Just kidding.

Another Nintendo Direct is here, this one focusing on the new Nintendo Switch game, ARMS! Plus, Splatoon 2 for good measure. I'm Ludwig, and joining me is RawkHawk2010, in our [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast (running in Pidgin).

Follow along with our log here:

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming: Round 3 & Round 4

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Also known as the quarterfinals and the semifinals.

Less than six hours remain in the first match of Round 3 of GameFAQs's Best Year in Gaming contest, and I don't know what year to pick for the first match. I guess we'll get to that discussion after the page break.

It's been a rough Round 2, coming off an easy Round 1. Round 3? Treacherous. So my write-ups will be painstaking.

Based on the...schedule, Round 3, being four matches, will go from Tuesday to the end of Friday — one match a day this time. Round 4 (semi-finals) will take place Saturday and Sunday, with Round 5's FINALS taking place on Monday. In terms of publishing schedule, that means I must attach Round 4 to this article. That makes the gratuitous picture look like this:

GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming Round 3 4 Quarterfinals Semifinals KoopaTV banner
...And then I realised that I saved it without rewriting it to be “Rounds”, so that's why the article title is “Round 3 & Round 4”.

Now you're gonna get write-ups FROM THE HEART for most of these. GameFAQs now has eight pictures for each year for eight games, but in case that ain't enough, here's a Wiki with notable games from each year. Also, as of publishing, we don't know what's in Round 4. This article will be UPDATED when we do know, and Round 4 will get write-ups at that time!

Monday, May 15, 2017

Nintendo's E3 2017 Plans

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Knowing Nintendo, it's better than it sounds.

Last week, Nintendo announced their plans for E3 Week 2017, going from June 13 to June 15. Ever the quick-paced and agile shelled creatures we are at KoopaTV, we're just discussing it today. (Hey, we were celebrating an ANNIVERSARY.)

Here's Nintendo's E3 2017 plot, according to their press release:
  • 12 PM Eastern on June 13, 2017 — Nintendo Spotlight: E3 2017 video presentation
    • This will be available at (and KoopaTV will be on top of the coverage) and deal with Nintendo Switch games, including Super Mario Odyssey, releasing in 2017.
  • Nintendo Treehouse: Live at E3 throughout June 13, June 14, and June 15
    • Subjects will be all sorts of Nintendo Switch and Nintendo 3DS titles, played at depth with your favourite Nintendo Treehouse localisers. KoopaTV will cover this, too!
  • The night of June 13, 2017: The 2017 Splatoon 2 World Inkling Invitational
    • Four teams, representing the four regions of the United States, Japan, Europe, and Oceania, will compete. KoopaTV will cover this with variable effectiveness.
  • The night of June 14, 2017: The 2017 ARMS Open Invitational
    • It being “open” implies something here, but that “invitational” also implies something... KoopaTV will be sure to cover this, though we might be a little bored.

What's the ultimate analysis here?

Friday, May 12, 2017

King Bowser's Cook-Out!!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're invited to this SCRUMPTIOUS event celebrating KoopaTV's fourth anniversary!

Well, would you look at the date? It's May 12, 2017! Remember when KoopaTV was founded? May 12, 2013. That makes today KoopaTV's fourth anniversary! WOW!

Rather than rehash what happened in the past 365 days — because how many times do you need to hear how incredible we are for influencing the United States presidential election, or for our incredible insightful and foresightful coverage of the Rio 2016 Olympics — we're going to assume you already know all that and just want to celebrate with us.

So, this year, we're holding...

King Bowser's Cook-Out!!

Yes, King Bowser Koopa himself is back for the benefit of KoopaTV, and he will be taking the guise of Chef King Bowser Koopa! Dig in!

King Bowser's Cook-Out!! chef BBQ Koopa KoopaTV barbeque fourth anniversary invitation card
Our invitation card, featuring the most handsome king in the universe.

We have three delectable menu items for today's celebration: 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming: Round 2

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You've unlocked more detailed explanations.

The very fine folks over at GameFAQs are going to be entering Round 2 of their new Best Year in Gaming contest. Which year between 1985 and 2016 was the best, as decided by GameFAQs-browsing gamers (which could be anyone, including me)? Well, turns out it's not 1985 or 2016.

Round 1 got rid of a lot of riff-raff. With three exceptions (RIP 2004, 2010, and 2016), GameFAQs largely voted as I voted in Round 1. This makes this round full of more... difficult decisions on my part. It's still two matches a day.

I bet you can guess for Round 3 we'll just replace the 2 with a 3.

The underlined years are what I'm going to vote for. Reminder that there's a reminder of the notable games released each year here, and this is going by American release dates.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Jeb Bush

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You see that normal-looking title? Everywhere else, he'll be called JEB!.

Today's strategy guide for The Wonderful 1237, KoopaTV's amazing browser-based Flash game, is quite a treat. In case you don't know yet, The Wonderful 1237 features seventeen unique minigames, all from each of the seventeen Republican presidential candidates you will be competing with should you play it.

Right in the middle of the Wonderful Wednesday article about those minigames, this strategy guide is about the man who is part of a now-failed political dynasty, and has been disgraced into a memetic-status: JEB! Bush. In real life, JEB! Bush appeared to be the most formidable candidate in the Republican primaries, having raised the most money of anyone. However, this money advantage isn't represented in The Wonderful 1237, stripping JEB! Bush to his bare essentials: An adorably unlikable loser. Take a look at his abysmal stats:

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:
Beauty: 0 + (0–2)
Cool: 0 + (0–2)
Cute: 1 + (0–5)
Smart: 0 + (0–3)
Tough: 1 + (0–2)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:
Beauty: 14
Cool: 14
Cute: 36
Smart: 21
Tough: 15

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:
Not likely. (JEB! Bush will have 9 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)
The Wonderful 1237 Versus Jeb Bush fight
“Versus... JEB! BUSH! Fight!”