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Thursday, September 29, 2016

Phoenix Wright's Leitmotif Maturity

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Phoenix Wright's leitmotifs follow his growth as a lawyer. Plus, more Ace Attorney stuff to buy.

I just spent about $16 on Ace Attorney content on the Nintendo 3DS: I bought the five Ace Attorney 3DS menu themes that are being sold for $1.99 each, and $5.99 on the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice DLC that came out today!

Special Episode Turnabout Time Traveler DLC Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Spirit of Justice
Turnabout Time Traveler! Read all about it from CAPCOM here.

You can talk about why everyone is on a first-name basis besides Edgeworth for that DLC description in the comments below, because I have something to actually discuss in this article besides advertising Ace Attorney stuff.

Something I noticed as I was pissing my money on 3DS home menu themes (which are a total waste of money, but I need to lead by example on giving CAPCOM any Ace Attorney-related cash I can) was Phoenix Wright's OBJECTION! themes. Actually, I noticed this a while before today, but let's try to have clean transitions, shall we?

Mr. Wright's OBJECTION! theme from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations (the 3rd game in the series) is now his leitmotif to be reused for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies (5th game) AND Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice (6th game) Meanwhile, his OBJECTION! theme from the first Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is what is used for spin-offs, including Ace Attorney spin-offs and crossovers. I'm sure this has nothing to do with whomever is directing the game in question, and everything to do with Phoenix Wright himself.

First, I'd like to submit some evidence.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Palmer Luckey and the Left's Intolerance

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Diversity of opinion in the gaming industry isn't really welcome.

Despite the near-even split of diverse political views for consumers of the videogame industry, it's no secret that the makers of the industry are very skewed in their beliefs. It's a liberal-aligned industry. It's also no secret that, given the opportunity, the industry and its mouthpieces in the gaming media will go on an all-out assault to attack dissenters, or perceived dissenters, of this liberal mindset. But it's not enough to attack non-liberal activity within games, but every member of the industry must be a leftist or else your whole company gets boycotted by a developer. This makes hiring conservatives, libertarians, and people with common-sense a dicey proposition in business-to-business relationships, doesn't it?

Just look at what is happening to Oculus founder Palmer Luckey

He donated $10,000 to Nimble America, a sketchy pro-Trump/anti-Hillary group that wishes to adorn the United States with meme-filled billboards. Whether he is also a vice president of Nimble America or just a financier of it is up for debate and investigation, but the fact remains that holier-than-thou gaming developers are offended and outraged that anyone in their community would try to do what they can to stop Hillary Clinton.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash — Episode 6: Grand Voyage!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Foggy Purple Sea.

Finally, the long-awaited Rescue Purple Toad gets an episode in the popular Nintendo video series, Rescue V! Go watch it:

It's the second-to-last episode. Important stuff. It takes place in the Purple Sea to try to reach the Fortune Island for TREASURE. The sea is renamed to the Lost Sea, or maybe they're different seas. After all, the Lost Sea didn't seem too foggy.

We know that Mario is the one manning the cannon, and the Toads on the pirate ship (was this what MY pirate ship was built to destroy, if Mario didn't interfere?) are just... ordinary Toads. Oh, the captain has a little hat and all, but it appears that the Rescue V's squads are not a part of the crew.

Monday, September 26, 2016

KoopaTV Judges the First Trump vs. Hillary Presidential Debate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At the very least, the most anticipated event of the month!

On one lectern, we have the un-stumpable DONALD J. TRUMP, the man who has earned KoopaTV's endorsement for President of the United States

On the other lectern, we have the corrupt and crooked HILLARY R. CLINTON, the woman so reviled by this website, she has an entire index of articles dedicated to taking her down! (This article will be included.) 

Finally, for the first time, these two candidates will be pitted against one another for an epic, 90-minute event. This will be the first of four debates. Today's, October 4 between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine, October 9 between Trump and Hillary, and October 19 between Trump and Hillary.

That's four debates. Here's how this'll work. We'll rate the candidates out of 100 and give them a grade. For Trump, we'll take that score, and multiply it by .125. For Hillary, we'll take 100, subtract her score from it, multiply that by .125, and add it to the modified Trump score. That's how much money Ludwig will donate to the Trump campaign. (Just don't tell the FEC that a foreigner from Koopa Kingdom is contributing to an American political campaign.) That makes a maximum of $25, and we'll repeat this exercise for the other three debates, for a maximum potential donation of $100!

Hillary Clinton is ineligible for receiving any donations from KoopaTV's staff.

Looks like this:

Donald Trump Hillary Clinton debate scores Excel
Stay tuned for when this changes by the end of the article.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Chrom Got Ousted From NSider2 (Updated 9/25/2016)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A civil war in which neither side is preferable. Seems analogous to something.

You may recall that a lad named YoshiRider123 was once a part of KoopaTV's staff, at our founding. Now he's on our list of traitors. Why? I've explained the relationship between KoopaTV and Chrom in this long story published when we officially fired him. Basically, for one reason or another, he figured his friends (us) were holding him back, as he slowly shifted from the likable YoshiRider123 to this robotic Chrom guy. Possibly as a result of his exposure to Wario: Master of Disguise.

Holding him back from what? A forum called NSider2, the unofficial fan sequel to the Nintendo NSider Forums, which was the official web presence of Nintendo of America from the end of 2003 to September 24, 2007.

...Huh. That'll be nine years ago tomorrow.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Asinine Attorneys, Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2, and Ace Attorney Anime Dub!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Respectively to the title: Give money, beg, and wait to enjoy.

I've been enjoying Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice since its release two weeks ago. And as of publishing, I've only gone through Case 1 and the end of the first Investigation phase of Case 2. (So, next time I play the game, I'll be at the start of Trial Day 1.) It's impressive to impress me that fast, but it's Ace Attorney. It make the miracle happen. (Not a typo... at least, not on my part.)

That said, this Case 1 isn't really short like some of the other Case 1s in the series. It has a ton of scripting and sound efforts work put into it, as CAPCOM will be quick to tell you.

Case 2 puts a MEDIA figure as a villain, so... that's right up my alley. KoopaTV readers know how much I love to trash the media!

So, because I'm so impressed, I went ahead and bought the two Asinine Attorney short episodes for $3.99 each after one was released last week and the other released today, without even knowing anything about 'em. I think you should do the same.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash — Episode 5: Illusion!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Showtime in the Green Woods.

This week's episode of Rescue V, the mostly-weekly showcase from Nintendo of five coloured Toads asserting that they are the true protagonists of the fast-approaching Paper Mario: Color Splash, is supposed to focus on Rescue Green. 

I say supposed to, because, well, check it out for yourself:

Let's face it. Rescue Green is so low-energy that he sleeps (or rests his consciousness) throughout his entire episode. This means the other Toads have to pick up the slack.

Prior to this episode, Rescue Green already was the biggest mystery of the Rescue V, with the least in-episode appearances and the least known about him. That's...still the case. Just what is with this guy?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Version-exclusive Regular Pokémon in Pokémon Sun and Moon!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Now we know which version Rawk will get.

In last week's... wait, no, TWO WEEKS AGO's episode of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon news drop, we learned about some version differences: In-game events, and a whole 12 hour time-skip

But people still want to see something that's been missing, besides cover legends: Version-exclusive Pokémon. Because that will substantively affect your playthrough more than swapping Raticate for Yungoos in a boss fight, right? ...Despite the whole trading thing. Whatever. Just watch the info video. Version-exclusive announcements also means new Pokémon, so if you'll just trade through everything, you can at least appreciate the new announcement:

Coming to only Pokémon Sun:

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Hillary Clinton Article Index

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This will be a site tab until after the election.

It is EXTREMELY important that folks, especially readers in the United States of America who are voting age or know people that are voting age in America, know that voting for Hillary Clinton for president this November 8 is a sin and a terrible idea.

...An unforgivable sin, and an unbelievably bad idea.

We promise all sorts of different angles for upcoming articles between now and Tuesday, November 8, 2016, that will all try to communicate this central point of Never Hillary.

Since we already have so much anti-Hillary content, and since we will continue producing content along that theme, and because all of the content builds upon one another...

...I've decided to make this index of Hillary-focused articles. This'll make it easy for me to reference the existing Hillary canon, and it'll make it easy for you to SHARE all of these terrible things about Hillary Clinton that the world needs to know about. I don't care if you're a Donald Trump guy or a Jill Stein...thing, but everyone across the political spectrum should agree that Hillary would be a travesty. There are many more passing references to Hillary on the website, but these, as I said, are more focused on her.

Without further ado, the carefully collated and annotated index, featuring all of the headers being linkable:

Friday, September 16, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash Trailer - The Morton Unfolds


Two days ago, KoopaTV published an article regarding Paper Mario: Color Splash and the newly-revealed "Black Bowser." That's right, Black Bowser. An otherwise-innocent Bowser coated in mysterious black paint, mysterious enough to make Hologram Peach point out that "he seems different somehow."

Paper Mario Color Splash Princess Peach hologram kidnapped by Bowser seems different somehow
Not just "looks", "SEEMS". (...And that Green Toad is way too jubilant in this situation.)

This raises questions about other members of the Koopa family who seem a little "off." Take Morton Koopa Jr. and his peculiarities that we live-reacted to. It was assumed three months ago that Morton had simply been brain-stomped one time too many, but recent Color Splash developments in the past few days — specifically involving said BLACK paint — suggest there may be way stranger influences at play here.

Morton Koopa Jr. Huey paint bucket boss battle pedestal Paper Mario Color Splash
What's Huey got in that bucket...? (There's something going on.)

In fact, I think it's time to bleed this preamble like a stuck pig and let Morton 
speak for himself.

Rawk is going hard in the paint with the audiovisual content. If the above performance changed your view on Morton Koopa Jr. or anything else, let KoopaTV know in the comments below!