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Thursday, September 21, 2017

The True Spirit of Justice — Not On Mobile!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Spirit of Justice going to mobile makes a certain Nintendo announcement even more FAKE NEWS.

Today, CAPCOM released Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice on Apple and Google's mobile store platforms. Spirit of Justice enjoyed a slightly over one-year exclusivity period on the Nintendo 3DS, where I'm pretty sure it did well.

I've covered all of the other times an Ace Attorney game has been ported to mobile systems (see below the footer for those articles — there are a lot of them now!) while KoopaTV has been established (so not Ace Attorney Trilogy on mobile). I don't really want to focus on how upset I am about this announcement or how much I dislike mobile gaming. Instead, I want to connect this article to the one I wrote last week about the September 13 Nintendo Direct and how Nintendo's claims about the ported Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney were FAKE NEWS.

But, first, some details on these mobile versions are in order just so we can have some baseline on their badness. Interestingly, they differ between iOS and Android.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Wrapping Up Wonderful Wednesdays

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Looking back at promoting The Wonderful 1237...

Exactly seven months ago to the nearest Wednesday, we started our Wonderful Wednesday series discussing Pocket Card Jockey as inspirational background to KoopaTV's biggest videogame ever, The Wonderful 1237.

Play The Wonderful 1237 right on KoopaTV on Flash-enabled web browsers!

We describe The Wonderful 1237 as a satirical simulation strategy game where you play as a Republican primary candidate, making decisions about how to ultimately win 1237 delegates so you can become the Republican Party's presidential nominee. In your way are the 17 Republican presidential candidates in the 2015–2016 season! Each character in the game has their own statistics (Beauty, Cool, Cute, Smart, and Tough — the same as the Pokémon Super Contests) that develop as the primary season went on, and you can choose whether to develop your own stats or target an opponent's.
PLUS, once a candidate drops out of the race, you can win the delegates they accumulated via each candidate's unique endorsement minigame! Covering those minigames made up the bulk of our Wonderful Wednesday coverage.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Marvel vs. Capcom vs. Franziska's Lash

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Let's focus on the fools.

On a day known as #InternationalWomensDay, in response to a hashtag known as #IfWomenRuledTheWorld, I once tweeted that I'd be perfectly fine with a woman owner so long as she was akin to Lady Palutena's beauty and not some misshapen unsightly beast. Elements of danger such as the Power of Caging were considered a significant risk that came with the territory of being owned, but recently I played through the original Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy and was introduced to what the word "danger" truly means.

Franziska von Karma sprite animation gif finger wag wagging
Franziska "Danger" von Karma?
...Or Franziska von "Danger" Karma?
(She'll decide when she's good and ready.)

Monday, September 18, 2017

Restocked and Much-Stocked Classic Editions; Nintendo Arcades?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo to have an actual physical supply of classic products people want, while infinitely supplying really old products no one wants.

In spite of my opinions, the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition (or NES: NES) sold a lot upon release, making it a very difficult-to-buy collector's item. Then they discontinued it, because it was always meant to be limited. Now they have announced the existence of the Super Nintendo Entertainment System: SNES Classic Edition (or SNES: SNES), and people are worried it will be as limited as the NES: NES — a problem, because there are justifiable entertainment-related reasons to buy one of these.

Nintendo is actually going to try to avoid a situation where they are not getting as much revenue as they otherwise could by... having a much larger inventory of SNES: SNES to sell. PLUS, they will be putting the NES: NES back in stock come 2018.

Amazing, right? (Let's just hope this doesn't take away from much-needed Nintendo Switch production, though since the price is falling rather precipitously for those, that means either the Switch's supply is healthier than a few months ago, or the demand is falling...)

It's fun how happy people can be that they have the opportunity to flood Nintendo with cash. But, you know what isn't amazing, and I don't think will get Nintendo much cash?

Friday, September 15, 2017

Not Even Apollo Justice, Ace Attorney, Can Defend This FAKE NEWS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - With CNN reporters like Spark Brushel on the beat, you can't trust the press.

With only seven seconds of footage, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (3DS edition) got the least amount of air time of any game during Wednesday's Nintendo Direct. We still don't know anything new about it since CAPCOM announced the port a month ago. It was a useless seven seconds.

Even though there was only seven seconds of content, they were wrong about two things:
  1. Apollo Justice is NOT everyone's favourite lawyer. He's not even most people's.
  2. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney does not explore Apollo's origins or backstory. You'll need to play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice for that.
Since seven seconds of bad information was not enough, here is what Nintendo published in a press release for their Nintendo Direct:
“Two New Games, Two Beloved Series: The next game in the Ace Attorney series, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, launches in November. The action-packed Fire Emblem Warriors game launches Oct. 20 for New Nintendo 3DS systems only.”
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney is not a new game. It is over nine years old. It is not the “next” game in the Ace Attorney series. The last new worldwide release of an Ace Attorney game was last year's excellent Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice. Before that was Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies. (In-between was Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, but not... canonically.)

Before that was Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, and that was a long, long time before KoopaTV started. It's not the next game in the series. It's not even the previous one. It's the previous game to the previous game's previous game. That's going real far back. Shame on Nintendo for putting this information in a press release. You know what I call that?



Spark Brushel CNN Fake News Apollo Justice Ace Attorney Donald Trump journalism objection meme
The crusader against the fake news organisation CNN (“Credible Nintendo News” — “Corrupt Nintendo News” if you ask me) and CNN reporter Spark Brushel...
...President Donald John Trump!

Ludwig wanted to continue KoopaTV's meme war against CNN, and this is the result. He's astonished in general that Nintendo would make such a bold claim about Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney being a new game. Of course it isn't.

This is far from the first time that Nintendo's marketing communications outfit has put out demonstrably false information to promote a 3DS game.
Believe it or not, this article doesn't even cover all of the FAKE NEWS in the seven second soundbite and tiny blurb. There's even MORE, as revealed next week.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Kirby Battle Royale: Copy Ability Poll!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We're surprisingly all agreement that we want this ONLINE MULTIPLAYER KIRBY GAME.

With Nintendo making many announcements in yesterday's Nintendo Direct (read our live reactions to it!), we have a lot of things to write about. While Kirby Battle Royale is likely not the most important thing to come from yesterday, it is one of the most surprising. It's also tied to a time-sensitive event, so might as well talk about it sooner rather than later.

Kirby Battle Royale is yet more Kirby gaming content to continue Kirby's 25th Anniversary, which is a concerted effort to make me feel guilty for only listening to the Kirby franchise's awesome soundtracks without actually playing the games. It's a four-player game where you have Kirby fight other Kirby players, and perhaps some CPUs. Unlike Kirby Fighters Deluxe, it is in 3D. And unlike Team Kirby Clash Deluxe (and every other Kirby game currently in existence), it is ACTUALLY AN ONLINE MULTIPLAYER GAME!

Kirby Battle Royale online and local wireless multiplayer Nintendo 2DS 3DS
It's not only local wireless multiplayer, but ONLINE multiplayer! For real!
The official Nintendo website description says you actually need an INTERNET CONNECTION to play online!

We still don't know much about the game, but this was enough to get the four KoopaTV staffers logging yesterday's Direct to express purchasing interest in it. Super Mario Odyssey was the only other game to do that.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

KoopaTV's September 13, 2017 Nintendo Direct Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring some fangirl service...

Welcome everyone to the KoopaTV live reaction log to Nintendo's Nintendo Direct: September 13, 2017 edition. This one is long and full of a lot of information. You can watch it along with us here:

Who is “us”? I'm proud to tell you we have a pretty full staff here to live react. There's myself, Rawk, Kamek, AND Vortexica. You thought most of those guys were dead, didn't you? Also, because I can and it was requested, I replaced their weird AIM screen names with their KoopaTV staffer names. Now you can actually follow it. Yay!

...It seems like today was the first time the four of us had a sustained conversation together in a long time, so it seems some members have some things to share...

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Should The Number Nine Be Nixed?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We discuss the results of skipping 9 and embracing 9.

One of Earth's worst corporations, Apple, had a big conference today that I didn't watch. They announced the iPhone 8, along with the iPhone X (otherwise known as the iPhone 10, or Ten — click that only if you need proof, 'cause that Apple video is INCREDIBLY PRETENTIOUS and unbearable). Two devices at the same time — the iPhone 8 will be released this month, while the iPhone X will be releasing November, 2017. The X is the more expensive one, starting at $999, while the 8 is also expensive, starting at $699.
All of those 9s in the pricetag make me wonder: There clearly is no opportunity for an iPhone 9, is there? Microsoft did the exact same thing in skipping from Windows 8 to Windows 10.

What the hell is with this nine-skipping? Is this COLLUSION? Am I missing something? Well, I'll try to investigate, but I'm more interested in if the number nine deserves to be skipped. Since this is a gaming site, I'll focus my thoughts around games.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Will Developers Maintain Nintendo Switch Pro Controller Support?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's how I want to play. Make sure the Pro Controller is compatible!

One of the biggest selling points of the Nintendo Switch is the ability to play the games when you want, where you want, and how you want. Here's how Nintendo words their marketing message on their site:
Nintendo Switch is designed to go wherever you do, transforming from home console to portable system in a snap. So you get more time to play the games you love, however you like.” 
I think I've just about reached the point where I have played 100 hours of Nintendo Switch gaming, with about half of it with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and the other half of Splatoon 2. The Nintendo Switch won't tell you EXACTLY since there is no true replacement for all of the functionality of the Activity Log, but... it's sort of close.

Almost all of those 100 hours, besides that brief period of time where I played the ARMS Global Testpunch with the Joy-Con (and it played terribly with the Joy-Con as well as my preferred controller), have been with the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller on the TV mode. Everything else (especially that plastic piece of shit Joy-Con Grip) doesn't feel all that right.

Nintendo Switch home page features online service games family fun accessories
I guess I should take comfort that the Pro Controller is the face of Online service (not that we know much about it yet).

Friday, September 8, 2017

Hurricane Irma: CRISIS in Florida! Rawk Engulfed?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He was warned not to go, but noooooo.

Spoiler alert: This is another one of those “a KoopaTV staffer might be dead/dying” articles that we get on a disturbingly regular basis. (See the footer of this article for a list of all the ones I can remember.)

Have you noticed that KoopaTV staff member RawkHawk2010 has been a lot more prolific lately? He published three articles in the span of one calendar week at the end of August. (Read his takes on that solar eclipse, turtles in Dragon Ball, and Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle that ended up being a top five recommended article in August) ...There's also a lot of stuff from him that are sitting as drafts.

As a reward (and to get him out of the way so I can take control of my own site's publishing schedule), we sent Rawk on a leisurely vacation to Florida! I mean, after all of that stress dealing with natural disasters with our KoopaTV office in Sierra Leone, a vacation in the tropical paradise of Florida is just the incentive a KoopaTV staffer should want!