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Thursday, March 22, 2018

Nintendo at E3 2018: Super Smash Bros. Invitational & Splatoon 2 World Championship 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Awesome! The first concrete things to look forward to for E3 2018.

We are past the point where a mere three months from now, E3 2018 will have come and gone. It's coming up quick, so it figures that gaming companies are now announcing their E3 2018 plans to get people HYPED!

(For us, it's also helping us put our E3 2018 Schedule together.)

So, check out this video Nintendo dropped today, with the accompanying press release:

To put it in writing, there will be a Super Smash Bros. Invitational 2018 tournament and a Splatoon 2 World Championship (2018) from June 11 to June 12. They didn't mention which happens on what day, so that might mean they both start on June 11 and then conclude on June 12? ...Or they're still figuring out logistics.

There are some interesting details to dissect here about both of these tournaments.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Minecraft Morons and School Bomb Threats

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This doesn't really make sense, but it's Minecraft, so...

I didn't even know that Minecraft had player-vs-player game types, and I don't even know how Minecraft servers generally work. Feel free to write off this entire article as the ramblings of a biased asshole.

Still, regardless of your feelings about my qualifications to write about anything Minecraft-related (or my qualifications to write about anything in general), we should all safely be able to agree that what happened in the United Kingdom (pray for Vortexica) with regards to the school bomb hoaxes as a result of a Minecraft server rivalry is... tragic.

Per Sky News, 24,000 spoofed (sent by someone disguising themselves as someone else) bomb threats were sent to 400 educational institutions in the UK. The spoofer claimed to be part of the Minecraft server VeltPvP. VeltPvP denies they were behind this. (Either way, this is probably huge advertisement for VeltPvP, which isn't just a server, but apparently a whole business with chief officers.) Specifically, they said to send money over to VeltPvP in exchange for not being blown up. (It's unclear what would have happened if anyone had actually sent money to VeltPvP.)

Whomever wrote this e-mail sucks at English, or they're pretending to be Arabic.
...Or maybe they really are Arabic and we can turn this story into one about Muslims in the UK.

Either way, we're pretty familiar with this kind of thing ourselves.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Remember When People Wanted Takamaru Playable in Super Smash Bros.?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're forgiven if you are asking, “Who is Takamaru?”

When I was first drafting this article, I thought the dude's name was “Takamura.” Whatever his name is, he doesn't matter. Takamaru is a generic Japanese samurai guy from an old Famicom game that no one in the Western hemisphere played until 28 years later when The Mysterious Murasame Castle got brought to the Nintendo 3DS eShop in other countries.

It wasn't until Takamaru's Ninja Castle was its own minigame — a bottom-tier minigame at that — in Nintendo Land that people knew there was a dude named Takamaru out there. You wouldn't know he was a samurai though. You might've thought he was a ninja. Takamaru doesn't even appear in the game. You don't play as him. You play as a Mii ninja. Who the hell is Takamaru? No one knows, but that MYSTERY (in Murasame) got a whole bunch of people trying to say that Super Smash Bros. would be a lot better with him as a playable character.

There is some tiny, fledgling Takamaru for Smash movement. People who put him on a long wishlist filled with other characters. No one has explained his appeal to me. The game doesn't seem all that great — it's like The Legend of Zelda but much more action-oriented and not puzzle-y. It also has a timer, so it must be awful. I'm convinced only weeaboos want this guy in, but now they can obsess over the Hoshido in Fire Emblem Fates instead.

Takamaru The Mysterious Murasame Castle Nintendo 3DS eShop
The Mysterious Murasame Castle failed to take off as a franchise.
It's not for a mysterious reason.
...Anyway, that's Takamaru crossing a bridge.

Takamaru ended up becoming a dreadfully boring Assist Trophy who jumped around like a freak, throwing ninja stars at people or something. Very generic and totally forgettable. I wouldn't be surprised if what was left of the Takamaru for Smash crowd actually forgot that he was in as an Assist Trophy.

Almost five years ago, one of KoopaTV's first articles was about how three characters that could be in Super Smash Bros. 4 would be terrible to have. Those characters were Takamaru, Geno, and Pac-Man.

None of those have stopped being terrible choices.

Ludwig isn't against fledgling movements just because they are fledgling (he voted for Phoenix Wright in the Smash Bros. Fighter Ballot, after all), but the characters need to be worthy. Takamaru isn't worthy in any possible way. Ludwig is considering having several character-related articles between now and the release of Super Smash Bros. For Switch, since it's an interesting set of topics to talk about.

Monday, March 19, 2018

It's Sea of Thieves Eve And I Must Grieve

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Happiness stolen in a Sea of Hype.

Well, after three long years it's finally out. The true beginning of a post-Kinect Sports renaissance for Rare Ltd. -- and according to several who have played it, their all-time magnum opus.

Upon its announcement, I was pretty brain-meltingly excited for Sea of Thieves. I made a video syncing the Sea of Thieves announcement trailer to Athena's Swashbuckler Spectacular from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies, and another of Phil Spencer (widely considered to be the man responsible for Rare's rescue) eccentrically dancing. It was awesome, dudes. Sea of Thieves was gonna be Donkey Kong Country 2 but in almost-real-life. Sea of Thieves was gonna save my waning enthusiasm in video games while Nintendo stayed busy screwing over the Star Fox franchise (which involved first exhuming it from the grave) and making all kinds of other terrible decisions. Back then I was all like, "Bless Rare and Microsoft Studios", but skip three years into the future and the correct phrase is "Bless me", because I honestly couldn't have been more wrong.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Kirby Star Allies is RELEASED! Poyo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, some additional miscellaneous Kirby-related loose ends!

Today, we welcome the official release of Kirby Star Allies, which marks the conclusion(?) of the most Kirby coverage in a short time period to ever be on KoopaTV.

It was a good time. Let's do more of that, shall we?

Don't look at the professional critic reviews of Kirby Star Allies. Reviewers don't understand this franchise. They don't like it. They have never liked it. I won't link to it or talk about it further.

I'm going to be getting my claws on a physical copy as soon as I can. Not today, obviously. Let's aim for Sunday.

In the meantime, Nintendo released an update to the Nintendo Switch earlier this week: Version 5.0.0. It doesn't do anything important and I'm not sure why it warrants a whole new version number, but it did get Kirby and some of his (Dream) friends as possible profile pictures. Not enough to displace my purple-background Bowser, though.

Nintendo Switch version 5.0.0 character profile pictures icons Kirby series Waddle Dee ARMS
Also, ew, most of the update was burying the Kirby stuff with icky ARMS people.
Plus, the Waddle Dee in here isn't even Bandana Waddle Dee. Strange?!

By the way, I did some investigative journalism. While I can't find records that Nintendo of America ever knew the Friend Bounce existed in Kirby Super Star, I unearthed evidence in HAL Laboratory's Japanese-only Flash-based old site for Kirby Super Star Ultra that they knew:

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Alternate Mode of Entry to Post Cereal Sweepstakes: Win a Nintendo Switch!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Already have a Switch? Get another. It's FREE.

You may recall this remarkable passage from an article at the end of 2017 about Post Cereal and their Nintendo Switch giveaway contest. The article went into very deep detail about the contest, which involves buying certain Post Cereal brands which contain a code that you submit to Post's sweepstakes page for the possibility of winning a Nintendo Switch. The article's main topic was about how the contest discriminates against people with Celiac Disease, but there is another method of entry where you don't have to buy any cereal or consume any gluten and you can still win:

“Oh, I forgot to mention. There is an AMOE, or Alternative Method of Entry, that opens March 16, 2018 and lasts for two weeks. Simply go to this website and request a code, which you can do three times a day. No purchase necessary! Assuming that winning times of entry are equally distributed over time and that the competition is equally distributed as well (which are BIG assumptions), this is a 15-day window out of the 212 days the contest is open. That's 7.075% of the contest is open during a no-purchase-necessary time window. That leaves around 35 Nintendo Switch systems up for grabs during this time! We'll remind you in March to take advantage of it, as a benefit to being a KoopaTV reader. (...Just remind us to remind you.)” 

..NO ONE REMINDED US TO REMIND YOU, but I reminded myself because I'm responsible. You can thank me in the comments section.

As of writing, the Alternate Method of Entry site still looks like this:

Nintendo Switch giveaway contest Post Cereal Alternate Mode of Entry AMOE code request
“We're almost ready to play! The AMOE code request site will begin at 12:00am ET on March 16, 2018.”

I guess this article would be a little better if I published it after the alternate method of entry was made available so I could tell you what “the information” you need to fill actually is. I'm going to guess it's your name, physical address, e-mail address, perhaps a phone number, and Post will ask for your date of birth to confirm you are over 18. I'll edit this article after the fact and let you know if there's anything I didn't guess ahead of time.

That said, since you can get three codes a day for the duration of March, I figured it's better to publish this information now rather than later. (Besides, March 16 itself is a product release day; a product we're looking forward to.)

I just wish the company was named something better than Post. This article would be so much easier to write and understand!

Update 3/16/2018: After you fill in your information (I was spot-on in terms of what they ask for), they e-mail you a code. You'll get an e-mail from with the code. You then go to and enter your code after re-entering your personal information. Then you're given this screen and I guess I lost because I'm clicking the question-mark block like a buffoon and nothing is happening.

Post Sweepstakes Nintendo Switch question block mushroom appears win
It seems like I can try three times every day, SO I'LL BE BACK.

If giving out your personal information is a problem for you, or you're not 18 or older, don't fret: You can still win valuable Nintendo prizes FOR FREE! It's called the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, and you can be completely pseudonymous when entering it. Unlike the Post contest, it is 100% skill-based. You can enter simply by commenting on this article, though as mentioned, since it's skill-based, you'll have to out-comment and out-activity the other participants in the contest to be able to win.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

My Nintendo's Worthless Gold Points

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - At least you're currently on a website with a good loyalty rewards program...

This was announced a while ago, but we've just been so busy we couldn't get around to it. Nintendo's underwhelming player loyalty program, My Nintendo, has implemented a “Gold Points” system with the intention of making people actually get excited about the Gold Coins they are collecting. (Platinum Coins are still worthless.) It was a criticism that for a year, this program was in place but you could only spend the Gold Coins on 3DS and Wii U content. Not anymore!

Starting March 5, 2018, you got 5% off any digital Nintendo Switch, Wii U, or 3DS purchases you made converted into Gold Points. If you buy any physical Nintendo Switch games (which is how I prefer to buy my games), you only get 1% of the purchase price converted into a Gold Point. Each Gold Point is worth... one cent. A $60 digitally downloaded game will get you 300 points, or 3 dollars back. A $60 physical game will get you 60 points, or 60 cents.

These add to however the hell we got Gold Coins before, which was an even worse conversion rate.

Just so Nintendo can be jerks, you have 12 months to use your Gold Points before they expire. That means if you want a free $60 game, you'll need to spend $1,200 in digital purchases in 12 months, and still have another 21st game you're interested enough in to do all of this purchasing for. By the way, in order to qualify for points, you need to have bought the game within 12 months of its release date.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

President Trump and the Roundtable on Videogame Violence

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Fortunately, it doesn't seem like anything is going to come from it.

After we regretfully told you that someone is feeding anti-videogame crap into President Donald John Trump's ear as it relates to videogame violence and shootings, the President last week decided to take the “very complicated and very big deal” and listen to people who know what they're talking about in a room with people who... do not. Basically, that means you put a room together with anti-gaming politicians and interest groups with industry lobby organisations like the Entertainment Software Association and the ESRB.

Then you listen.

Unfortunately, the roundtable was closed off to the media, so we don't actually know what happened. That makes writing commentary on the meeting difficult, doesn't it? Accounts described it as a listening session, and it seems the people more likely to talk about the experience were the anti-game people rather than the pro-game people, who either said nothing or put out meaningless statements.

One thing we know for sure is that the meeting began with this 88-second video montage (compiled from clips of YouTubers, without asking permission because FAIR USE) of very violent, M-rated moments. Just letting you know that it's embedded below after the page break, and I wouldn't watch it if you don't want to see, you know, gory content. Even the thumbnail is... unsettling. It also has one of the most lopsided (in the negative direction) Thumbs-Up to Thumbs-Down ratios on YouTube.

Monday, March 12, 2018

All Time is a Bad Time

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Shall we kill some?

Ludwig is a big-time hater of Daylight Savings Time. He says it ruins sleeping patterns and makes people waste valuable time changing clocks. He also believes that the government simply has no right to regulate something as sacred as Time, especially when its boundaries continue to change at the government's behest. Arizona doesn't even follow the damn thing which only leads to absolute DISASTERS for whoever may be traveling through, and I don't just mean ones involving pink underwear.

Well, I'm here to say that ALL time is bad. EVERY LAST SECOND OF IT!

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations Edgeworth problem here is time Laurice Deauxnim

Friday, March 9, 2018

We Don't Know Yet If Super Smash Bros. For Switch is Original or Not

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Anyone who thinks we know for sure is wrong, and I'll discredit their points.

Yesterday was an amazing Nintendo Direct. No one denying it. My favourite part, the Splatoon 2 portion, isn't what has everyone talking. No, people are talking about Super Smash Bros. for Switch (that's what I think the name will be: “Super Smash Bros. For Switch”), which is currently named “Super Smash Bros. (Title Pending)”.

There's currently a debate going on where people are wondering whether or not this Switch Super Smash Bros. is an enhanced port of Super Smash Bros. For Wii U or it's a real sequel. From social media polls I've seen, most people are going with the sequel. It's all speculation on both sides, but the power of wishful thinking (and a little FAKE NEWS) is getting more people than not on the sequel side.

Two of the claims I see I can debunk in one screenshot. First of all, people claim HAL Laboratory is developing the Switch version. I don't see how pro-sequel people think that makes sense as an argument (are you forgetting that they have been working on a full set of games over the past year, including Kirby Star Allies, Kirby Battle Royale, Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, and whatever the hell that BoxBoy! series is?), but it's there. Second, people think that since the website and trailer say the words “original game”, well, that means it's Nintendo's way of saying the game is original.

Well, look at this side-by-side, which you can verify for yourself with one minute's worth of curiosity instead of believing idiots/FAKE NEWS from social media: