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Thursday, August 1, 2019

KoopaTV's July 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Another good month.

I would like to extend a welcome to all of the new people who have come to KoopaTV over the past month! At the beginning of every month, I write a newsletter covering everything important that happened in the previous month, as well as some new updates and site news.

...I recommend you check out the informational pages tab on this site and read what's linked off there.

The Top Five Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of July 2019

The first feature of these newsletters is usually a look-back at the top five of the previous month's published works. We usually publish once every weekday, so that means about one in four and a half or so articles will be featured. Here's this month's that you really gotta check out, provided in chronological order:
  1. Koopa Kingdom Immigration Family Relocation Services—Kamek's excellent article that shares his expert knowledge in family and child relocation services... in three tips! A lot of Americans could sure take his advice!
  2. Perilous Pill Popping: A KoopaTV-Exclusive Investigation Into Dr. Mario—Meanwhile, the two Koopalings on our staff, myself and Wendy, infiltrated Dr. Mario's medical practice as doctors and uncovered some truths (and more questions) about Megavitamins and the nature of the Viruses. And, of course, what Dr. Mario may be plotting.
  3. Final Decision in the Chaos vs. Order Final Splatocalypse—It's the last Splatfest decision article that we'll be writing... possibly ever, or at least for some years until Splatoon 3, which I also write about. (Not that it exists yet.)
  4. How The Media Botched The Bocchi Bullying Debacle—Some media outlets reported that an innocent 15-year old girl was bullied out of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate competitive community for beating a top-level player, and this resulted in widespread consternation for Smash Bros. fans. The problem? There was no evidence of this bullying ever taking place.
  5. Fire Emblem: Three Houses Released; Dorothea Is Pretty Cute—As the title indicates, Fire Emblem: Three Houses came out on July 26. But as an old-timer Fire Emblem elitist, should I buy Fire Emblem: Three Houses? We had a guest artist contribute some very cute art of Dorothea to try to convince me to do so, which you should check out because it's rather convincing.

If an article you like or may be interested in checking out wasn't on that top five... don't fret! EVERY article on the site is worth reading, and there are some articles not on that list that continue some storylines from earlier in KoopaTV's existence, as well as some that will be set-ups for future stories. So yes, check out everything. Moving on...

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of July 2019

...Not only does KoopaTV showcase ourselves, but we also make it a point to showcase YOU. (Assuming you interact with the site in any way.) Every month we list the best three comments we've gotten on KoopaTV's comments section... as well as the worst one.
  1. “I was totally ignorant of all the controversies surrounding Dr. Mario, and now I am astonished that Mario has not been sued for malpractice yet due to all of the misdiagnoses and pain he has inflicted upon his patients. To make matters worse, he is even employing infants, a clear violation of child labor laws if I have ever seen one. It is long overdue for his license to practice medicine be revoked. Thank you Ludwig and Wendy for this phenomenal investigative journalism. Hopefully, this piece will go viral and Mario loses his job in the medical field and goes back to being a plumber.” — Kody B. 
  2. “The Hivemind Antenna was brought up but you should also discuss the Eye of Justice. It has the ability to beam in subliminal messages too and is very dangerous and must be properly warned against. This hacker managed to show what nefarious images can be promoted in it should it fall into the wrong hands:” — ShinyGirafarig
  3. “...If I was to say, "what plushie pictures in other articles up to this point?" could I get a promise from you to not VICIOUSLY mock me, that is to say, to keep the level of your mockery for this to at most run-of-the-mill intensity?” — Lheticus Videre  

I appreciate puns in comments (“Hopefully, this piece will go viral”—matter-of-factly it hasn't, though you people reading this can help make it so) and I appreciate dire warnings as well. (Fortunately, Team Chaos won, so the Team Order subliminal messages should be obliterated, yes?)

I wasn't able to promise Mr. Videre that I would not “VICIOUSLY mock” him, so I never identified for him other plushie pictures in other articles. However, because I feel rather... introductory in tonight's newsletter, I'll provide a brief sampling as soon as I VICIOUSLY mock the worst comment of the month:

  1.  “Nice” — jackjohnny

That was the guy's entire comment... and in an article about when Nintendo announced at the end of August 2017 that Miiverse would be closing at the beginning of November 2017. There's nothing nice about that, though it was a well-written article.

Anyway, plushies. If you search “plushie” using KoopaTV's search bar, you'll get many results. Some of those even have Lheticus commenting on them. Many pictures feature myself doing something, such as eating ice cream or uncomfortably posing with a Krabby. Some feature participants that are not myself, like this one that is pretty much a bunch of pictures of Kirby and Waddle Dee. The June 2019 newsletter, linked at the bottom of this article, also has me shilling some Battlefy merchandise with a Jigglypuff treating a bag like a dress. Or something. I can't write for her actions.

Corrections Corner; July 2019

Every month, I give special attention to any comments that point out something incorrect in a KoopaTV article. Accuracy is incredibly important to us. FAKE NEWS is an awful thing we must live with, and no way does KoopaTV want to proliferate it.

I'm pleased to announce that there were no corrections made in July 2019 on KoopaTV.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 27 Mid-Round Leaderboard

At KoopaTV, we CONSTANTLY are running a skill-based, free-to-enter-and-win contest between all of you readers and participants—which makes you all players. It should be fitting that a gaming commentary story has gamified website participation, yes? It's called the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program (read more about it there), and we are on the 27th round of it. We're halfway through it, meaning it began on July 1 and ends August 31. Here are the standings so far:
  1. ShinyGirafarig — 28 points
  2. Samantha Lienhard — 22 points
  3. summoner sky — 15 points
  4. Lheticus Videre — 13 points
  5. Mr Mystery — 8 points
  6. Kody B. — 6 points
There are a number of ways you can earn points (again, see that page). Most of the points earned so far have been through commenting—and having your comment show up in the monthly newsletter as a best comment or in the Corrections Corner gets you extra points—but some folks have gotten points by submitting guest art or filling out the KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XX. (But they didn't fill out the accompanying Quiz, which offers even more additional points!)

Check out the dedicated KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program page for all of the ways you can get points, and then if you have the most by the time the round ends, you will win... a $10 Nintendo eShop card code!

Did you know that you can subscribe to all of KoopaTV's articles to your e-mail inbox by clicking this link and verifying your e-mail address? It's really easy, and it makes this newsletter feel like a real newsletter! By the way, you should share KoopaTV out to people you think would be interested. Make sure they like reading.

Last month's newsletter covering the major month of June 2019 is over here.
Next month's newsletter covers the minor month of August 2019, but it's a big newsletter.
Last year's July 2018 newsletter (feels so far away!) is here.


  1. "(Fortunately, Team Order won, so their subliminal messages should be obliterated, yes?)"

    Oh no, looks like the Labo has taken over your mind and made you write this wrong statement to say Order won and put us all under a false sense of security.

    1. I think I have a higher proportion of writing the incorrect Splatfest team name in the newsletters than other errors.


  2. Wow. What an amazing newsletter!
    I truly and genuinely enjoy your thoughts on your webpage.
    Keep up the intriguing and interesting Articles!!
    - Mr Mystery :)

    1. Thanks!

      (You shouldn't list your name as Unknown if you're going to sign your posts off!)


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