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Wednesday, August 1, 2018

KoopaTV's July 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I really liked this month. Did you?

Somtimes, KoopaTV surprises ourselves with how brilliant we are. (I am the primary driver of brilliance on this website, obviously.) In this case, looking back, it's weird to think that some of the earlier articles in July were from... July. It feels like so long ago. But KoopaTV's content has been consistently awesome for that whole long stretch of time. (Compare that to June, which zipped by because of that big event in the middle of the month.)

Let me prove that by showing you our top five recommended articles of the month...

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Articles of July 2018

This list is in chronological order. If you're only going to read five articles from this month, you'll want to pick these five. That said, there are some notable snubs, and that's because, as I said, KoopaTV was consistently awesome.
  1. Chain Chomp: Free at Last! (This is BAD!) —  The story about how Chomps were roaming around and free, chained up thanks to King Bowser, and then freed again by the non-Koopa nations. This is bad for public safety.
  2. Nintendo, could your eShop card activation code be a little bigger font size? — Providing details on Nintendo's vendor for their Nintendo eShop cards, and requesting that they have a bigger font size because they're hard to read.
  3. The Splatfest Race War: Squid vs. Octopus — The Splatfest for July 2018, in “celebration” of the one-year anniversary of Splatoon 2, created a senseless race war between Inklings and Octolings.
  4. Koopas Dominate Sports  — No matter what sport you put in front of us, Koopas will end up mastering it better than anyone else.
  5. The Threat of the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit — The threat coming from the Nintendo Labo is intensifying with the third Toy-Con kit, the Vehicle Kit. Ludwig gets his own vehicles and is preparing for a strike.
Some of those articles are considered “must-have” to have on this top five, to the exclusion of many other great articles from this month. Seriously, every article on KoopaTV is worth reading. We're great. You're great, too, as seen here:

Best Three Comments and One Worst Comment of July 2018

Did great articles bring in great comments? Let's see, in chronological order...
  1. They thought that making it about the species they evolved from will prevent race wars but they are wrong.

    The Bible commentators say there is a reason all humans descend from Adam and Eve. "The Talmud likewise points out that one reason the entire human race descends from a single set of parents, Adam and Eve, is so that no one would be able to claim his ancestors are greater than his fellow's (Sanhedrin 37a). Judaism does not believe there is an inherently superior race of human beings."

    So having an ancestor species win over the other means that the current day species can consider themselves legally better because they came from a superior ancestor.

    Also Marina says that octopuses are extinct and Pearl says the Octolings are Inklings with unique hair. We know the extinct statement is false and is a reminder of how some human races and ethnic groups had pretended to be the dominant culture to escape persecution. Basically Octolings are species-passing. Also there is evidence Pearl knows Marina is an Octoling disregarding Octo Expansion. She made Octopus jokes on air such as the eight tickles joke further not acknowledging Marina's species on air.” — ShinyGirafarig
  2. Squidwig, you have me worried. You're beginning to sound more like Squitler. Are the Octolings really as bad as you say they are? I believe that Octo Lives Matter and you are falsely demonizing an innocent race of cephalopods. Just because a law is in place does not make it just. As M.L. Ink King once said, “One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.” — Kody B.
  3. How do you feel about the straw haters using a turtle that got a straw up its nose for their agenda?” — ShinyGirafarig
As for the worst comment... and this is a bit vulgar...
  1. “Fuck that shit.” — Anonymous
I think people brought up great points in the comments section this month, so hooray! From very enlightened stuff that's perceptively going into the heart of the article, to great, punny phrasing, to excellent and thought-provoking questions, I think we're getting an awesome amount of discourse on KoopaTV. ...And then some idiot anonymous commenter has to go and make a fool of himself. (Or herself. Or maybe they're one of those gender non-binary people. Not that I care about their proper pronoun when they're being dumb on my site.)

Corrections Corner: July 2018

We had one correction, which was at the very end of the month. (Dangit.) I wrote car twice instead of plane in that Labo article, which was pointed out by Kody B. That's what happens when you edit the article, then make changes, and then don't edit your changes. But yeah, having cars, submarines, and planes all present is thematically important.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 21 Mid-Round Leaderboard

Take a look at these standings for the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, featuring you guys competing to win a $10 Nintendo eShop gift card:
  1. Kody B. — 35 points
  2. ShinyGirafarig — 24 points
  3. Lheticus Videre — 18 points
There are other scorers on the leaderboard, but their points are negligible. That doesn't mean that if you're not one of those three people, that you cannot win. You CAN! (And it's free to participate.)

I suggest reading through the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program page for how you can win and get points. I also suggest filling out the Feedback Form and Quiz for this round (Part XVII), which no one has done yet. That makes me sad, since they're asking very important questions (for the Feedback Form... the quiz is irreverent) that will affect the future of the site. But getting feedback before making decisions is... nice.

Sharing KoopaTV is caring for KoopaTV! So go care for KoopaTV and share the site and the articles and great content to people. That's most effective if you share to people that don't already look at the site.

Click here to read the June 2018 newsletter from a month ago.
Jump ahead to next month's August 2018 newsletter!
Last year's July 2017 newsletter is one click away. Click here for that.

Next year's July 2019 newsletter lets you skip a whole year... in one click!


  1. While no corrections would be optimal, to only have one correction out of the 22 articles posted last month is a great ratio, especially when you compare it to other sites.

    1. So, Rawk, who usually edits these things, had his Internet cut out by illegal immigrants hired by AT&T for the last few days of July.

      So that's the excuse.

  2. *cry* I can't even compete anymore. I need to do better!

    1. I heard that actually trying really works wonders for your score. :p


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