Search KoopaTV!

Translate

E-mail Subscription

Monday, August 20, 2018

Which utensil is more useful? Fork VS. Spoon Splatfest!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There is only one objective answer.

We support proper utensil usage at KoopaTV, and utensil usage to begin with. There are many articles on this site about the virtues of using a stylus instead of your fingers when operating a touch screen. The same principle applies to your food.

Given that fact, one may ask, “Which is the more useful utensil?” But you wouldn't think that would be something written about on KoopaTV, a videogame commentary story.

Never doubt what is and what is not off-topic on KoopaTV, especially given the existence of a more-or-less monthly Splatoon 2 Splatfest! Yes, behold this upcoming Saturday's North American Splatfest theme...


Splatoon 2 Splatfest Team Fork vs. Spoon utensil Pearl Marina more useful
TEAM FORK vs. TEAM SPOON! Which utensil is more useful?

KoopaTV is the sole website on the Internet that will write a detailed opinion article on the usefulness of forks versus spoons for the Splatoon 2 Splatfest. KoopaTV also happens to be the most qualified website on the Internet to write that article. We present...

...John Kasich's minigame from The Wonderful 1237. It was titled Table Manners — the purpose of the minigame was to teach Ohio governor John Kasich proper eating etiquette by presenting you a food and having you select the best way to eat it — hands, spoon, fork, or fork & knife.

(In case you weren't around KoopaTV at the end of 2016 to mid-2017, The Wonderful 1237 is a KoopaTV-developed Flash game that you can play right here on your Flash-enabled web browser. The Wonderful 1237 is a satirical simulation of the 2015–2016 Republican presidential primaries where you compete against the 17 Republican presidential candidates that actually ran in real life as you try to win 1237 delegates before they do. Each candidate has their own minigame presenting a unique challenge that allows you to win their endorsement, and their delegates, after they drop out of the race.)

So, John Kasich's minigame. If you click that hyperlink, you'll be brought to the strategy guide for his minigame, including a table of the twelve foods in the game, and what the utensil-food match-up scores are. You get a certain number of points depending on the utensil you pick for the given food, based on research done on proper food etiquette. The article's conclusion?
“Fork is the best. Spoon is the least favoured utensil.” 
Spoon ranked even lower than one's bare Hands did — and there was a massive gap between Fork and Spoon.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest fork vs. spoon utensil Marina eat more foods with a spoon
Yes, Marina, you can do anything with a spoon. But that doesn't make it useful, or proper etiquette.

I can't sit here and argue against my own fact-based game design. Forks are more useful than spoons.

Now, if the question was which utensil is my favourite? I'd pick spoons. I like using a spoon to eat ice cream more than I like using a fork to poke into a gross Pac-Man pizza. (Yes, you can thank previous Splatfests for those revelations.) But, my own likes aside, there is a reason that the brilliant Koopa Kingdom engineers equipped the Koopa Clown Car with a FORK instead of a SPOON. Usefulness.

I also like to eat rice dishes with spoons instead of forks. I like to eat mashed potatoes with spoons instead of forks. It's really a philosophical choice — how would you prefer to conquer your food (or a kingdom)? By obliterating it into pieces (fork), or by retaining what is there but simply serving its dominance to yourself (spoon)? I mean, why bother decorating the food (or choosing a well-resourced kingdom) if you're just going to stab into it mercilessly (or burn it to the ground)?

Of course, conquering the Mushroom Kingdom is a bit different than consuming a dish. For food, no matter how you get it into your mouth, it's going to end up in your stomach the same way — demolished by stomach acids and whatever Biology says happens. So while I may have philosophical issues with forks, I can't argue their utilitarian effectiveness. And, of course, the ultimate measure of a utensil is not how it makes you feel, but by how useful it is. That's literally the etymology of the word utensil. Since I support actions and facts more than words and feelings, it's Team Fork for me.

One last thing.

I mentioned in the Sushi Striker demo article that I eat sushi with utensils, and not hands. Well, I bought some sushi just for this article to prove a point (and not just as a coincidence).

Since I'm inept with chopsticks, I prefer to eat sushi with a spoon rather than a fork. Here's why:


Eating sushi roll with a fork vs. a spoon tuna avocado
Eating sushi with a fork vs. eating sushi with a spoon.

In front, you see a fork skewering the sushi's rice coat and wrecking the entire point of the sushi design to begin with. Behind that, you see a spoon elegantly picking up the entire sushi roll, intact, ready for consumption. As a classy gentleman, eating sushi with a spoon fits my personality.

But, alas, facts.



Ludwig wrote this article while eating frozen yogurt... WITH A SPOON. He hopes it's pretty obvious that the precise wording of the Splatfest question matters greatly to him. He still hasn't selected his team within Splatoon 2 in-game yet, so feel free to try and convince him to side with his feelings rather than the facts in the comments section below.


At least they're taking a break from very high-stakes Splatfests, like the race war from the last one.
The next Splatfest asks what your style is.

14 comments :

  1. This theme gives me hope that paper vs plastic is going to be a theme in the future. This article reminded me I have Splatoon themed chopsticks along with my Splatoon spoon and fork.

    I still did not choose myself. This is the equivalent of EU's North vs South Pole as who has a personal stake for a certain pole unless they are an explorers? Utensils are used for different things. My daughter is having an easier time handling a fork than a spoon if that counts for anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So paper vs. plastic has advanced from meme to actual "I hope this happens."?

      Paper vs. Plastic for the first post-paying-for-Online Splatfest?

      Everyone in Europe, you'd think, would have a bigger stake in the North Pole. After all, if the North Pole screws up, it affects Europe disproportionately. (Which is why it'd weird the results were pretty close.)

      Not that I remember from my own experience, but intuitively, shouldn't spoons be easier than forks? Forks require... force! But I guess spoons require lifting and balance skills.

      Delete
  2. Spoons are really only good for soup. And I really don't like soup (except for the occasional clam chowder.) You don't even really need 'em for cereal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I eat cereal with a spoon. And soup with a spoon.

      Just this morning I was drinking soup and noodles.

      Delete
    2. I USUALLY eat cereal with a spoon--on the rare occasions I have cereal. But sometimes even then I forget and grab a fork instead, and it never seems like a big deal when I do.

      Delete
    3. I just tried to eat cereal with a fork for the first time ever so I could reply to this comment. Total disaster. You either try to scoop it up on the prongs like you're pretending it's a spoon, or if you try to poke the cereal with the prongs, it just shatters the cereal piece into debris and you get nothing out of it.

      Feels incredibly weird and immediately bizarre. I highly do not recommend it.

      Delete
    4. Hrm. Maybe you eat a different sort of cereal than I do. Or I could have just been totally misremembering the whole thing. I can't believe you actually did that just to reply to me! XD

      Delete
    5. That might honestly explain it. I don't always eat cereal, but when I do I eat Reese's Puffs. Very solid, dense, and round compared to Chex, so they wouldn't get broken from an accidental stab. And yeah, if I accidentally go for a fork I end up pretending the fork is a spoon.

      Delete
    6. So if you stab it, it'll maintain its figure and the prong will just stay in there, like a piece of meat?

      Still, I've never accidentally gotten the wrong utensil — if I have, I'll just go back and get the right one.

      Delete
    7. I can't say for sure, but I suspect that would be the case, yes. And I can be VERY absent minded at times.

      Delete
    8. That's some sturdy grains.

      Anyway, I guess it's time to support Team Fork, despite my comments in this comments section here almost exclusively is supporting Team Spoon.

      Delete
  3. The utility of an utensil really depends on the material it is made of. If the item is made of plastic, I would say the spoon is superior because the tines on the fork are prone to breaking easily. On the other hand, if the utensils are made of metal, then then the fork would be the more optimal choice. I'm assuming that the utensils are metal based on the image, so I will choose Team Fork this round, too. Also, the paper vs. plastic debate is not just a meme but a serious matter that is absolutely worthy of a Splatfest. It is time that the hotly contested issue is settled once and for all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or maybe the image has silver-coloured plastic utensils instead of metal...

      Delete

We embrace your comments. No identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot. Our vendor may subject you to CAPTCHAs if you are not using a Google account. We're not happy about that, either.