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Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Masahiro Sakurai Says What He Means

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He's not trying to obfuscate.

When Masahiro Sakurai writes a tweet that he'll be presenting for tomorrow's Nintendo Direct dedicated to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and that he'll be tired (from all of the work he's doing working on the game), the normal response is to feel compassion for the Super Smash Bros. franchise director.

Embedded Bing translate says:
I will also do some kind of presentation. Because I think that it is comparatively easy to see in the Japan, please watch it! The eyes may be a little red, but this is tired eyes...”
The abnormal response, which a lot of people are doing in that tweet's replies and elsewhere, is to think that Masahiro Sakurai is trying to hint at a character reveal. You know, for a character that has tired, red eyes. Like King K. Rool. Have some humanity. You don't deserve a character reveal.

Here's a guy apologising in advance for a possibly non-photogenic appearance due to stress and long hours. He's worked himself nearly to death in the past, sustaining injuries. He doesn't even get a day off. He gets death threats from rabid Waluigi fans and who knows what else. He doesn't even stick around for E3 but goes to fly a midnight flight to Japan to nerf Bayonetta.

And you thank him by applying bizarre scrutiny to any statement he'll make, construing it for your own agenda? Please, Sakurai doesn't have any reason to leak his own creations ahead of schedule (or even after the fact). He's super-concerned about that sort of thing, and that's why there's no story mode in Super Smash Bros. For Wii U.

If you want to apply deep analysis and parsing of language to something, do it to KoopaTV. We're actually designed for that kind of depth. The more time and effort you put into KoopaTV, the significantly more you'll get out of KoopaTV. There's a net gain for you. If you do that with Masahiro Sakurai, the world will have a net loss.

Do the math.

(There is a small possibility that this entire article is wrong and Sakurai actually is hinting that he's going to cosplay as a vampire in the Direct with fake bloodshot contact lenses to demonstrate new Mii Fighter functionality or something. In that case, Ludwig will never feel sympathy for Sakurai ever again, and he'll stop forgetting that he put Sakurai on the list of news sources to stay away from.)


Ludwig wanted to title this article, “Masahiro Sakurai is not Alan Greenspan” to reference “fedspeak”, but he did a poll and it turns out that the vast majority of people don't know who Alan Greenspan is, or any other Federal Reserve chairman. He considers this proof that public education is a disaster. By the way, don't expect a log published on KoopaTV immediately following the Direct, since Ludwig and most of the staff won't be able to watch the Direct live. It's called a day job. 11 PM for Japan means 10 AM for Eastern time.


The announcement that this Direct is happening was made during EVO 2018, and if Sakurai was watching that, then EVO 2018's events were certainly tired-eye-worthy.
It's pretty obvious from watching the Direct itself that there is a major flaw in this article.
Masahiro Sakurai deserves no sympathy.

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