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Monday, July 2, 2018

KoopaTV's June 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A whirlwind month of E3 2018... and life-altering events.

Thank you for keeping it to KoopaTV for another month! It's very appreciated, and what a month it was. June 2018 tied June 2017 for having the most number of articles in one month, ever. (44.) E3 2018 was pretty intense, and quite frankly, I'm not sure that we want to actually go do that ever again. Is it sustainable? Well, we have a feedback mechanism detailed later in this newsletter as a structured way to get your thoughts.

Top Five Recommended Articles of June 2018

Just a reminder: We traditionally exclude articles in the reaction log category from the monthly top recommended articles. That always makes June look weird, since that's such a reaction-log heavy month. (27 of those 44 articles are reaction logs.) Shout-outs to the E3 Weeks 2018 Schedule for making E3 on KoopaTV a survivable event. Now for the top five recommended articles in chronological order:

  1. Mario Tennis Aces Pre-Launch Online Tournament — Very Convincing Experience! — The Mario Tennis Aces pre-launch online tournament got our staff on-board with Mario Tennis Aces, and we definitely weren't there before. Our thoughts from it!
  2. Don't Judge a Game by Its Art: Pokémon Quest Is Even WORSE Than It Looks — On the other hand, playing Pokémon Quest for an hour only solidified the negative visceral reaction our staff has against it.
  3. E3 2018 Conferences Tier List!  — A great summary of E3 2018, ranking each company that held press conference events. Which came out on top? The bottom? And everywhere in-between?
  4. Sakurai Still Hates Ludwig — Smash Ultimate may as well be an Enhanced Port — Masahiro Sakurai continues his personal grudge against Ludwig Von Koopa, while Ludwig explains why he feels justified calling Super Smash Bros. Ultimate an enhanced port.
  5. Pray for Vortexica... he's been decommissioned. — After waiting months and trying to contact him through normal and desperate methods, KoopaTV declares that staffer Vortexica is... gone. Obviously, you should read this.
Every KoopaTV article is worth your time to read, of course. But if I may put some more emphasis on that last recommended article...

KoopaTV is Hiring! (And we need staffers)

It needs repeating: We're always looking for more people to join the staff, but we're particularly looking now, since we're down a guy. And I'm pretty sure Vortexica was beloved by both the other staffers, and you, the reader, alike. Some tips for you. Like any other place you'd want to be part of, you need to do your research when you're applying. That means you need to know what KoopaTV is all about. You need to be interesting to us. There's gotta be a cultural fit. That doesn't mean you need to be just like us, but you need to fit with our values. You also need to have a commitment to quality and excellence. 

If you need more information, click here for our hiring page. There are directions right there. If you don't follow them, then we won't consider you, because you're probably too dumb to do a good job at KoopaTV.

If you have any more questions, feel free to contact us directly!

Top Three Best Comments and Worst Comment of June 2018

There might be a correlation between readers having great comments, and being a great candidate to be a KoopaTV staffer. (Then again, none of our staffers prior to becoming staffers were part of the comments section.)

Anyway, I enjoyed these (in chronological order) top three comments from you. Many others as well, but we only have so much space here (infinite, technically):
  1.  “OJ, to me, is a situational drink. Whenever my body has an actual need for that kind of Vitamin C, it tastes freakin' delicious, but other times yeah not so much.

    And yeah, pulp in OJ is just WRONG. I want to DRINK my drink not EAT it!” — Lheticus Videre
  2. I would be interested in KoopaTV's take on the plastic vs paper debate.

    Plastic bags are useful for me because I need to seal up my daughter's scripts for fake news networks so nothing will leak out and the fake news networks can use every word of her scripts. I also discard them properly. On the other hand we got stupid humans not discarding plastic bags properly and then sea turtles suffocate to death thinking the bags are jellyfish. I am not fond of causing a species to go extinct but paper bags rip so easily. koopaTV can give me a whole new perspective on that debate.” — ShinyGirafarig
  3. We know as much about Furukawa as we do about Metorid Prime 4. It exists but that's about it. After a few months, I imagined that we would at least have a profile of his career. Anyway, if he decided to scrap My Nintendo, I would not care in the slightest. The only decent reward is the Zelda Picross that was available since the inception. There has not been anything else of value at least to me.” — Kody B.
Here's the worst comment:
“god howard clearly won with elder scrolls 6” — charssie god
I think Charssie has a god complex, between his name and how he refers to Bethesda Softworks's Todd Howard. I have no problems with pointing out that he's factually incorrect and it's a dumb take in general. ...I'm sure there are a lot of people who agree with him, though.

For whatever reason, KoopaTV's article on pulp in orange juice got the most number of comments of any article in June 2018. They were pretty amusing, too. Team No-Pulp unfortunately lost the Splatfest.

I want to also point out that My Nintendo's rewards for July 2018 still suck. I actually might write an article on it...

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 20 Final Leaderboard

As for a rewards program that does not suck? How about the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program! Here are the final results for Round 20, which ran from May to June:
  1. ShinyGirafarig — 89 points
  2. Kody B. — 87 points
  3. Lheticus Videre — 33 points 
In Round 20, we said that the top scorer wins a $10 Amazon gift code, and second-place wins a $10 Nintendo eShop code. Congratulations to ShinyGirafarig and Kody B. on your placements! I'll e-mail you guys your prizes after this newsletter is published.

Announcing Round 21 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program!

Yeah, that's right. As you expected, the next round after Round 20 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program is... Round 21. That intuitively makes sense to everyone reading this, correct?

Round 21 has already started, from July 1 to end-of-day August 31. The prize is one $10 Nintendo eShop code for the top-scoring person. Have fun!

Corrections Corner

Absolutely nothing was corrected in June 2018! Yay!

KoopaTV Feedback Form and KoopaTV Quiz Now Available!

KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XVII and KoopaTV Quiz XVII are now available over here. The Feedback Form has a lot to do with E3 2018. The Quiz has some fun multiple choice questions about May and June 2018 KoopaTV content!

A perfectly acceptable method of enjoying KoopaTV articles is to share them with people that you know (and with people that you do not know). Try it out sometime. It's fun.

Last month's review newsletter, May 2018, is over here.
Next month's review newsletter, July 2018, is over here.
Want to see what June 2017 was like on KoopaTV? Click here!

How about June 2019 and KoopaTV? Cool stuff.
Here's an article about the prizes given away in this article.


  1. So excited for the Amazon gift card as now I need to buy more child proof locks for my daughter.

    1. Check your inbox now.
      Kody B. should also check his.

      And y'all should both let me know when you use your codes 'cause I just came up with an article idea featuring them, and obviously I want you guys to use them beforehand.

    2. Thanks!
      Enjoy your child proof locks...! (Whatever those are.)

    3. yeah fr like what kind of lock isnt child proof

    4. Aren't stoves a bit... too high up to screw around with?

    5. She got tall enough to reach them.

    6. Well, I guess that's typical of giraffe babies.

  2. I have redeemed the code that you have sent me. I will probably use it for the online services as nothing else has caught my eye recently. Hallow Knight will probably continue to occupy my time for a while.

    Slightly off-topic but last Friday Walmart had a pricing error nationwide and I was able to pick up the neon green and pink joy cons for $24.88. I would have preferred the red and blue pair but for the price I certainly cannot complain. I was considering getting a pro controller, but now I will just switch between my grey pair and the new set when one needs charging.


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